I hung up and pulled the battery, stuffing down the guilt I felt for not telling him about the ledger I had. I’d considered handing it over. Doing a dead drop and then telling him where to find it, but it felt too risky. Plus, the ledger was in code. Without the keyword (which I didn’t have), the handwritten pages wouldn’t mean anything to law enforcement. At least that’s what I told myself. I tried not to think too much about what a cryptographer might be able to do with it. And besides, it was my insurance policy. I couldn’t give up the one piece of leverage I had on my father. Not yet.
***
FEBRUARY
There were three feet of snow on the ground. The trail of cars heading up to Snowbowl was insane on the weekends. I took another happy escape trip down to Phoenix. I had to sneak out of my apartment before Nina came to invite me for dinner with the guys. So far, they didn’t know that I made monthly trips to Phoenix, and it needed to stay that way.
After finding a park in northern Phoenix, I got out and walked along a path, quickly sticking the battery in Renee’s phone, ready to check that off my list and move on to whatever amusement Jack’s message would provide. Instead my heart stopped when I saw a voicemail waiting for me on Renee’s phone.
Had my sister actually called me? Was that a good thing? Or a very, very bad thing? I swallowed and pushed the button with shaking fingers.
“Leila, it’s me.” I sank down onto a nearby park bench, shock rolling through me at the sound of my sister’s voice. I wanted to be elated at hearing from her, but I had a feeling that Renee would only contact me in the gravest of circumstances, and I could tell by her voice that she had been crying. “I just…” She took a shuddering breath. “I hate to ask you this, and I know that I shouldn’t, but I need you. I talked to a doctor.” My heart tried to climb out of my throat. “It’s bad, Leila. It’s really bad. Please come see me. Please.” She told me an address and gave me directions for how to find it then asked one more time. “I swear I wouldn’t ask this of you if I had any other option. It’s unfair, but I need you. Please come. Please.”
The message ended and I sat there in shock. What did she mean the doctor said it was bad? Did she have cancer? Had she been in a car accident? Was she losing a limb? Did she need an organ transplant? Did she need my kidney or my liver or my bone marrow?
The message was dated only two days ago. I went back and listened to it again, this time writing down the address and directions. It was in Texas, probably the same house I’d been to. I went back to my car and jumped in. I would need to get back to Flagstaff, stash my stuff in a safe place in case I wouldn’t be able to come back for some time, and then get on the road back to my sister.
I was an hour into the drive before I realized I had never checked to see if Jack had left me a message. It seemed a lot less important than it had before, but a distraction would be good, and maybe hearing his voice would calm me down.
I didn’t bother pulling over. I just dug in my purse until I found the phone and the battery and connected them.
Two messages.
“I have no doubt that your friends really do want you around. Not as much as I want you around, but still. They sound like sincere people, and you happen to be an amazing, intelligent, sweet person.” I leaned back into my seat, letting the comfort of his voice wash over me. “And I’m glad Charlie is short for Charlotte, because, you know. Neanderthal.” I chuckled, though it was hard to keep it from turning into a sob. “This Silas person sounds like a real piece of work.” There was a growl in his voice. “If I ever find a picture of him, I might end up using it for target practice, because the idea that your dad hired this guy to retrieve you is so beyond creepy. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve run into plenty of really terrible fathers in my line of work, but seeing what a low life father does when he has too much money is a new level. Anyway,” he cut himself off. “Enough of that. I’m glad you have your friends there, someone to look out for you. You deserve that. Bye, Angel.”
I took a stuttering breath, trying not to be overwhelmed by the contrast of Renee’s call and Jack’s. Whatever awaited me at Renee’s house, it wasn’t going to be good, but would it make it impossible to stay in touch with Jack? Would this be the thing that broke us completely?
I tapped on the second message, which was dated four days ago.
“Hey. I just wanted to check in and make sure you were okay.” His voice sounded strained, a lot more tense than usual. “I’ve been extra worried about you lately and I’m having a hard time not imagining worst case scenarios.” I frowned, furrowing my brow at the idea of Jack being so obviously worked up about me. It was sweet, but I didn’t want that for him. “I probably shouldn’t have told you that, because I don’t want you to start thinking that way. So, please, ignore my paranoia, and just remember that I want you to stay safe. And remember that I miss you.” There was a layer of sadness on top of the strain. “I’ve said that before, but it’s getting…more. I miss you more, which I wouldn’t have thought possible, but apparently it is.” He sounded tired. “Any chance you’d tell me where you are so I can come whisk you away and we can go hide out on an island somewhere? Greece, maybe?” So tempting. “Yeah, I didn’t think so. It was worth a shot though. Stick with your friends. Watch your back. Call me if you ever need me. Bye.”
I let the phone slip from my hand as I fought the urge to call him and tell him everything, to ask for his help. But the truth was that I didn’t know what I was walking into, and though Renee was my sister, she was also on the wrong side of the law. Contacting Jack would be putting both him and Renee at risk.
It was several minutes before I remembered that I needed to remove the battery. It took me a while to wrestle it out while juggling the steering wheel, but I did it. Then I put the phone away. Hopefully I could call Jack in a few days. Hopefully.
That’s all I had at this point. Hope. I knew this could be a trap. I knew I might walk into Renee’s house and find myself knee-deep in criminal sludge, but it didn’t matter. Renee had asked me to come, so I would.
***
All of my preparations to leave took seventeen times longer than they should have. The gas pump wouldn’t read my credit card the first time. I couldn’t find a duffel bag to pack my clothes in. Since I was going all the way to Texas, I had to detour to Snowflake to pull my money, extra ID, and my father’s ledger from the locker. I didn’t feel right leaving it so far behind and decided to take it with me and find a locker for it on the way, somewhere closer to Renee’s. I debated on what phone to take. The one Renee had called me on? The one I used to call Jack? The one I used when I was Sage?
In the end I decided to take all three. Once I got into New Mexico, I would turn off Sage’s phone and turn on Renee’s. She needed to be able to get ahold of me. I had tried calling her on my way up from Phoenix, but she hadn’t answered, and I resisted the desperate need to keep calling. I had to keep my wits about me. I had to stay rational and safe. Leaving the phone on was a risk, but I had to do it. Besides, she was the only one who knew about it, and I was going to her anyway. If she felt like tracking me, that was fine.
When I finally got my stuff together and was pulling it out my door, Charlie came up the stairs, curls blowing in the stiff wind.
“Hey, Sage. How are you to—whoa.” She interrupted her own pleasant greeting when she saw my face. “What’s wrong?”
I tried to relax and look casual, like I wasn’t a complete mess. But my strained breathing from running everywhere and the panic that refused to be tamped down made it close to impossible. Best to make up a story. “Family emergency.” Huh. That was actually true. Vague, but true.
“Are you okay? Can I do anything for you?” She was all fluttery and worried for me. It was sweet, but I didn’t have time for it.
I locked the door and grabbed my bag. “I’ll be fine, thanks. I just have to leave now.” I pushed past her and managed not to fumble as I ran down the steps.
“Call us if you need anything!” Charlie
called after me from the top of the stairs.
“Thanks,” I hollered without looking back. I shoved my things into the backseat of my car (I avoided using the trunk unless absolutely necessary), and then I climbed in and cranked the engine.
The drive was long and mind-numbing and gave me way too much time to think. I hit New Mexico and turned off the phone I’d been using as Sage. An hour later, I turned on the phone Renee had given me and tried to call her. No answer. I threw it in the passenger seat and stuffed down my panic, deciding to leave the phone on, just in case she called and I needed to answer.
Just before I hit the Texas border, I found a bus locker and stashed my father’s ledger and the laptop case with my extra IDs and cash. Then I scrubbed the weariness from my eyes and got back on the road.
***
My back ached from sitting in the car for so long. I was almost there. It felt as if I’d been driving this highway forever. I had passed through Amarillo an hour ago, but the turn-off was just past the next mile marker. I readjusted my hands, flexing my fingers so they wouldn’t cramp. Almost there.
Just as I was about to ease my foot off the gas, I noticed the flashing lights behind me. My heart surged in my throat when my rearview mirror showed a state trooper riding my tail. My heart sank. I looked at my speedometer and realized I was going a full twenty miles over the limit.
I was so close! How could I get this close and be so careless?
My foot let off the gas; the car slowed and I pulled over, hopeful that the state trooper would just give me a ticket and send me on my way. I’d even pay it, or Sage Rushworth would. So long as my ID held up. I’d never had to test any of them against the scrutiny of law enforcement. I made it a point never to give them a reason to look twice at me, but if Milo’s IDs worked for my father’s people, it should work for me.
I waited with my hands resting on the wheel. I called up my reserves of patience and watched the cop in the rearview mirror as he looked something up on his computer and used his radio.
My heart sighed. The cop uniform reminded me of Jack.
I pulled my eyes away and stared at my hands, annoyed at myself. Of course my mind would decide that any man in uniform could be Jack, that he could somehow be here in the middle of Texas and we could run off together and have a better life.
I needed counseling.
I refused to look up again, refused to entertain the notion of him being here. If this guy looked even a little bit like Jack, my hope would grow out of control. So I stared at my hands and waited.
Eventually the knock came at my window and I pushed the button to roll it down, a ready-made pleasant-but-chagrined smile on my face.
“Afternoon, officer.”
“License and registration please?”
I dug them out and handed them over.
“Do you know how fast you were going?”
“I’m not sure,” I lied. “I’m not from around here.” Sometimes they took that into account, right?
“I clocked you going twenty-two miles over the speed limit, young lady.”
“I’m sorry.” I tried to look as contrite as possible.
“You sit tight, I’ll be right back.”
I had to keep reminding myself not to hold my breath as I stared in the rearview mirror, watching as he got back in his car and started running my info. I broke out in a cold sweat, wondering if I should just gun the engine and take my chances running from him. But the likelihood of that succeeding was practically non-existent, and when he caught me, it would be very bad. I tightened my grip on the steering wheel and forced myself to trust that Milo was as good as I thought he was.
It was an eternity before the officer stepped out of his car, approaching with his hand on his gun. That was normal, right?
By the time he reached my door, my heart felt like it was going to crack my ribs.
“Ma’am, I need you to step out of the vehicle.”
That was not normal. I couldn’t breathe. “Is something wrong, officer?”
“Exit the vehicle and keep your hands where I can see them.”
No no no no no no.
I tried to swallow as I carefully pushed the door open and stepped out. Maybe he just wanted to search my car. Maybe he—
“Face your vehicle and place your hands on top of your head.” His hand still hovered at the ready above his weapon.
Helplessness washed over me and I turned around mechanically and laced my fingers together behind my head.
The crushing sound of failure rang in my head, distorting the words of the cop as he talked about being in possession of fraudulent identification and explained my rights.
I was being taken into custody. I had failed.
***
The room was plain, completely neutral. The classic one-way mirror filled one wall.
My feet were flat against the ground, my back stiff as I stared at the table in front of me. Officer Statton had put me in here about ten minutes ago, and whether he came in right now or let me wait it out for an hour, it didn’t matter. I would continue to sit here, my hands folded in my lap, and stare at the table. I would not speak. I would not fidget. I would not demand attention of any kind. I would wait to find out what was going on. They had probably gone through my belongings, and if that was the case, they would have found my other fake papers in my go-bag.
I was so screwed.
Still, Milo’s work should have been good enough. The traffic cop shouldn’t have known it was fake. Did someone know I was coming? There could be a BOLO for me, but if cops had been asked to be on the lookout, they would need a picture. This could be one big set-up. But if that was the case, then Renee would have been in on it, and—despite her many flaws—I didn’t believe she’d sell me out.
So then what was it? My mind had been running ever since Officer Statton put me in the back of his car, and I believed that complete silence was my best bet. As soon as they came in, I would ask for a lawyer, and then I would do my utmost to trust whatever lawyer they gave me, in the hopes that I could worm my way out of this, possibly cut a deal, and at least get my belongings back.
Another five minutes passed before the door to my left opened. I didn’t turn to see who it was. I was a statue.
Whoever it was pulled up a chair and sat beside me, but I was staring so hard at the table that my vision was blurred.
Finally, the man spoke. “Hey, Angel.”
My head snapped up and I sucked in a breath that didn’t seem to fill my lungs enough. My breaths were shallow and quick, each one sapping me of energy, making me feel like I was going to hyperventilate.
Because—Jack.
Jack sat beside me, and no matter how many times I blinked to try to clear my vision, it was still him.
Finally deciding that he really was there, I forced out a strangled, “Hi.” My eyes took him in. His plain clothes, his body humming with energy like he was holding too much inside. He rested a hand on my arm and I clung to it, feeling his hand in mine then reaching out to grab his forearm, his shoulder, his shirt, until I had my arms around him.
I breathed him in, almost moaning in relief at being with someone who knew me.
“This is a better reception than I expected,” he murmured into my hair. “I thought you would try to run.”
I laughed pathetically into his shoulder. “Maybe later.” I pulled back, making eye contact for just a second before leaning in to kiss him. He seemed a little surprised, but it only took him half a moment to respond, pushing a hand into my hair and leaning in for better access.
Maybe it was stupid to kiss him in the middle of a police station, when my emotions were on red alert and I was worried sick over my sister. I was revealing my hand and letting my guard down and all of my paranoia wanted to jump up and squash this moment, but…this was Jack, and all I could think in that moment was that everything would be okay now. Jack would make it okay. And if somehow he couldn’t make this okay, that gave me all the more reason not to let this mom
ent pass me by.
The sure way he kissed me bolstered my courage. He obviously didn’t care that we were in an interrogation room. He didn’t care that someone might be on the other side of that mirror. He kissed me like…like he knew me, like he wanted me, like he had missed me as much as I’d missed him. If I could have stayed in that moment forever, I would have. But eventually he pulled away, kissing my cheek before pushing my hair back and moving so his mouth was down by my ear, his breath a little ragged. “How have you been, Leila?”
As my heart slowed, my brain turned back on, realizing that he was making it so that anyone observing us couldn’t hear. I burrowed into his neck before whispering back, “I’ve been okay.”
Actually, the past two days had been torture; I hadn’t been okay at all. But now things were better. Jack was here.
In the middle of Texas, when I had given him no way to know where I was.
Crap. I was an idiot.
I pulled back and he reluctantly let me go. Studying his face, I saw the lightest trace of guilt. My heart broke. I had to work to breathe through my panic. “Why are you here, Jack?”
He didn’t try to answer, just kept looking at me, and my unease grew.
“You shouldn’t be able to know that I’m here. What’s going on?”
His gaze was steady, but his shoulders were tense. “I’m here at the request of the FBI. They’re hoping that I can convince you to talk to them.”
I flinched away from him, my body going into high alert as the implications set in. “The FBI knows I’m here?”
“Yes.”
My face crumpled. “Why would you do that?” I leaned away from him, my shoulders hunching as I tried to curl in on myself, to get away. “What could have possibly possessed you to do that? The CIA isn’t the only agency that has people working for my father, Jack,” I said in a fierce whisper.
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