I wanted to nod, but couldn’t quite do it. Did she just say I’d been shot?
“Can you talk, sweetie? If not, that’s okay.”
“I—” was all that came out, and it was barely a whisper. I closed my eyes, trying to let her reassurances calm me, but there was still so much that I didn’t know.
“Are you in pain?” she asked.
I opened my eyes and thought about it. Was I in pain? I was mostly just numb. “No,” I said.
“Good. Why don’t you try to take a sip of water?” She put a straw to my lips and I managed to pull a small amount of liquid into my mouth. It felt really good. Water was good.
I drifted back to sleep.
***
When I woke again, it was easier. Not as much fog and once I got my eyes to focus, I was able to move my head. There was a window, and from the look of the sky it was either early morning or late evening.
No one was in the room with me, but there was a window that I assumed would have shown the hallway if the blinds had been open. I could see shadows passing back and forth. I’m not certain how long I alternated between drifting off and staring at the shadows on those blinds, but I didn’t become fully alert until the shadows of two people stopped and conversed for several minutes. I could hear the murmur of their voices but no distinct words. A couple of times, one seemed to gesture toward my room. My anxiety started to kick in, making me wonder if I should dread finding out the identity of the people on the other side of the door.
I was on the verge of paranoid panic when both shadows moved away from the window and toward the door. My nerves ratcheted up as the knob turned and the door swung open.
Jack walked in.
“Hey,” he said, coming to my side.
“Hi.” The word seeped out of me, a prayer of relief.
He used one finger to carefully move my hair off of my forehead. “You okay?”
“Yeah. I’m just so glad it’s you.” I breathed in his cologne. So much better than the sterile hospital smell.
His brow scrunched and one side of his mouth pulled up. “Who did you think it would be?”
I shrugged one shoulder, trying to play it off as no big deal. “There’s always the chance that my dad will sweet talk his way back into my life.” This would be the perfect situation for that. Jack took my hand and I squeezed his, imagining my father rushing in, playing the concerned father card, using his charm to get everyone on his side before I even had a chance to wake up. I swallowed back the terror of such a scenario. “I’m just glad it’s you.”
I searched his face, trying to see if I could decipher the answers to my questions just from his expression.
I couldn’t.
“Tell me what happened.”
He pulled up a chair and sat down. “Agent Spencer and his team started moving in as soon as your father arrived. They wanted to close the cage, make it impossible for him to slip past. They intercepted two other vehicles, taking four of your father’s men into custody. They moved carefully so as not to alert your father to their presence.” He took a slow breath and blew it out, and then he leaned forward, resting his elbows on my bed and holding my hand in both of his. “Then Julien pulled his weapon, and stealth became less of a priority. Luckily they had a sniper already in position. He’s the one who took down Silas Morihan.”
Huh. Morihan. My mind detoured for a moment to the fact that I hadn’t known Silas’s last name until now before replaying the scene with my father, how he had ordered Silas to take me, how Silas had been shot. “Is he alive?”
“Yes.”
My eyes widened as I remembered something the nurse had said. “Was I really shot in the leg?” I lifted my head to try to look down at my leg. It was propped up on a pillow and bandaged.
“Yes, and I would very much appreciate it if you didn’t do that again. You also have a concussion from hitting your head on the road, and several lacerations from the gravel that pelted you when your father sped away.” He pinned me with his eyes, trying to look stern, but there was too much worry for it to be truly effective.
My mouth curved into a tired smile. “I got Renee out of the car, didn’t I?”
“Yes.”
“And she’s okay, right? She wasn’t conscious, but she’s okay?” I needed her to be fine.
“She’s good. Your father had drugged her, but she came out of it just fine. Thanks to you.” He kissed my hand, but stress lined his brow.
“She’s in custody, isn’t she?” I didn’t want him to have to be the one to say it.
“Yeah.”
I nodded. That was okay. That was the right thing. As much as I hated the idea of my sister in prison, I couldn’t fault the FBI for it. She was a criminal. She had chosen that. Just like my father.
I pulled my eyes away from Jack and looked at the ceiling as I took a fortifying breath. “And my father?”
“He’s in custody as well. After our sniper shot Silas, we closed in, and when your father tried to drive away, he was cut off by one of our vehicles. He crashed into it and ended up with some minor injuries. He was here for a while, getting patched up, but a couple hours ago, some agents took him down to the office to officially charge him.”
Relief crashed into me and it was hard to breathe. My chest tightened, forcing air to stutter in and out of my lungs as my mind and body let go of the fear, pain, worry, paranoia, anger, and exhaustion that I had been living on for the past five years. Tears and sobs welled up, making my body pulse with the release.
Jack leaned over me, carefully cradling my head with his hands, laying his cheek beside mine. “He’ll never come after you again. You’re free from him.”
“You mean it’s over?”
He pulled back a little and nodded.
“Are you sure? Will they be able to keep him locked up? He has amazing lawyers, you know. They’re not just going to—”
“All of his lawyers are being charged as well. I imagine most of his friends will be too caught up in defending themselves to worry about defending him. And even if he hires a bunch of new lawyers, the evidence is overwhelming. The recording they got of Milo’s execution is just the tip of the iceberg. He’s not shaking it this time, Leila.”
If that were true, that meant I could be me again. If my father was in custody with all his assets frozen, his power gone, then I would no longer be a target for anyone.
I never thought I would cry at the news that I was free of my father, but my body didn’t seem to know how to handle it. My brain was afraid to believe it, but my heart was so tired of running that it felt like it just gave up. It wasn’t willing to hold me together any longer, so I crumbled, crying all the tears that had been shoved down for so many years. I mourned the loss of my family, my childhood, and my years of lost freedom.
I cried myself into exhaustion and eventually fell asleep.
***
I was only out for a couple of hours this time. Jack was sitting beside me working on his laptop when I came to. He pushed the button to call the nurse and excused himself when she came in. She helped me and my bandaged leg out of bed and into the bathroom. I did a mental dance of joy when she asked if I’d like to brush my teeth. Yes, please.
By the time we were done, I was more than ready to get back in bed. I closed my eyes as she shuffled around the room for a few more minutes and then excused herself.
Jack came back in and told me that he had been tasked with keeping me calm and that he would be in trouble if he failed, so we spent the next hour talking about random, silly things. He told me bad jokes and listed off the top five pranks that had been pulled when he was at the police academy years ago.
A doctor came in and gave me a rundown on my injuries, what to expect and how I wouldn’t be able to be alone for the next several days.
After he left, I decided I was in a good enough frame of mind to ask the one thing I still really needed to know. “Where is Renee now?”
Jack studied me, no doubt assessing whether or n
ot I could handle whatever answer he would give. Then he nodded to himself. “She’s actually here. They were monitoring her for quite a while, and then Agent Spencer got permission to keep her here until you were feeling well enough to see her.” He raised his brow, asking a question with his eyes when I didn’t respond. “Do you want to see her?”
So much, and not at all, but of course, “Yes.”
“Are you ready now?”
“I’ll never be ready for this, but I think it’s better for me to see her now than to let myself keep wondering.”
“Okay.” He placed a feather-light kiss on my forehead. “I’ll be back in just a minute.”
I did a couple of breathing exercises, trying to mentally prepare myself for this encounter. But nothing prepared me for the sight of my sister being escorted into the room by Agent Spencer, her hands cuffed, her face haggard.
Despite that, her eyes lit up when she saw me. I gave a little smile back as Agent Spencer let go of her arm and stepped back to stand beside Jack, who waited just inside the door, trying to give us as much privacy as they could.
Renee rushed over and sandwiched my hand between hers, the movement impeded by the cuffs. She stared me down for a moment, the look on her face so reminiscent of when we were younger that I almost wanted to smile. “Are you okay?” she finally asked in a tone that made it clear I was not allowed to lie.
“I’m going to be fine.” I looked her over, my heart breaking at the sight of her in hospital scrubs, her hair limp and her eyes defeated. Whatever had transpired between her and my father over the last several days, it had left her worn and ragged. “I’m sorry, Renee.” The apology burst out without my permission. “I didn’t want you to go to jail. I wasn’t trying—”
She cut me off with a sharp shake of her head. “Don’t you feel bad. This isn’t your fault. I did this to myself.” She nodded vigorously even while she swallowed down her emotions. “I knew what I was choosing. I’m just sorry I had to drag you into this. I swear I never meant for you to actually come, I was just trying to buy time. But if I hadn’t called you, Dad would have—” She trailed off, swallowing hard.
“I know,” I said. “I know about Milo. I know what Dad would have done. You did the right thing.”
“Still. I’m sorry.” Her eyes clouded and she gave me the saddest smile I’d ever seen. “And I’m sorry I left. I’m sorry I didn’t choose you. I should have chosen you.” She leaned forward and looped her cuffed hands over my head in an awkward hug, laying her head beside mine. “We should have gone to Greece and left all this behind. I’m so sorry, baby girl. I’m so sorry.”
I held on to her while silent tears coursed down my face, and I realized just how long I had ached for someone to choose me. My father had always chosen power. My sister had chosen revenge. Even my mother—who everyone agreed had done the right thing by seeking to bring my father to justice—hadn’t chosen me.
Once I was able to swallow my emotion enough to speak, I said, “Thanks for looking out for me.” Because despite the fact that her interference had caused as much grief as it had helped, I was glad to know that she hadn’t forgotten me.
She pulled back, moving her arms from around my head, then did her best to frame my face with her hands. “I should have done better by you, but at least now you won’t have Dad dogging your steps.” She pressed her lips and blinked away the tears that were trying to escape. “Goodbye, Leila.”
“Bye, Renee.” I clung to her arm as she pulled away, unsure when I’d be able to see her again. “I’ll come to your trial, and I’ll be at all the court dates.”
“Don’t do that,” she said with a weepy smile. “You don’t need to do that.”
“But I will,” I insisted, unwilling to let her endure this alone. I wouldn’t be able to defend her actions, but I could at least be a friendly face. “Take care of yourself until then, okay?”
She managed a sassy little smile. “That’s one thing I’m good at.” She winked and let Agent Spencer escort her out of the room.
I lay my head back on my pillows and focused on my breathing.
“You okay?” Jack asked once she was gone.
“Yeah.” I sniffed. “I’m still…processing, but I think I’m good.”
“When you’re up for it, Agent Spencer would like to start debriefing you.”
I cut my eyes over to him. “Start?”
“It will probably take several sessions. I know you don’t think that you know very much, but you lived with your father for years, and there is likely a great deal of information that you don’t realize you have.”
I blew out a breath. “Okay,” I said hesitantly. “You’re practically part of the team. Why can’t you be the one to question me?”
“‘Practically’ doesn’t cut it. Besides, even if I could magically become an agent overnight, I couldn’t be on your dad’s case. If I was, the first thing your dad’s lawyers will do is to point out that my relationship with you taints the investigation. They’ll claim I went after Julien Marchant because of my feelings for you, which obviously would be true.”
I gave a sideways smile. “So you have feelings for me, huh?”
A puff of laughter escaped his lips and he glanced at the floor before fixing his gaze on me. My heart sped up as the moment stretched and his smile grew. Then he leaned in so that his face was only about a foot from mine and said clearly, “Many, many feelings.” The backs of his fingers grazed the side of my neck, and I fought down a shiver. “But I doubt now is the right time to talk about them.” He glanced down at my mouth.
“No, we can talk about them,” I said with a squeak in my voice. “I could use the distraction before Agent Spencer starts asking difficult and probing questions about my screwed-up childhood.”
He settled in and took my hand in his own, his soft gaze filling me with warmth. “I think you know what I would say.”
“Yeah, but you have to say it anyway. Cause I’m girly and insecure and have zero experience with relationships.” I wasn’t sure if it was the concussion or the painkillers that were making me so honest.
He gave a little grin. “You want me to tell you how I’m in love with you?”
The air got stuck in my throat for just a second. “Yeah, I do.”
He leaned closer. “Leila Marchant. I’m in love with you.” He pressed his mouth to mine and all the tension that had built up inside me seemed to seep into the mattress beneath me. I lifted the hand he wasn’t holding and rested it on the side of his neck as I breathed him in and allowed him to remind me just how good of a kisser he was. Then he pulled back with a grin on his face. “Now it’s your turn.”
“My turn for what?” I teased him, loving the feel of his finger as it brushed up and down my jaw. I sighed. “I am very much in love with you.” The narcotics definitely helped with that confession. “I think it happened before I ever left Cameron. Originally, it was just the shock of realizing you really cared about me. It had been a really long time since anyone had felt that way about me.”
He kissed my forehead. “I’m sorry you didn’t have that for so long.”
I breathed him in. “I know my mother loved me, but even she…” I looked at the ceiling, blinking against the sting in my eyes. “Not only did you take the time to push past my defenses, but you also stuck with me, and you cared enough to help me dig myself out of the hole I was in.” I swallowed. “But that was only the start.”
“Of what?”
“The reasons I love you.” I reached up and ran my fingers through the hair behind his ear. “At first it was because you cared and because you were so protective. But then I fell in love with your sense of humor and the way you love your mom and how you help out Adeline without letting her get away with too much.” I chuckled and he hid a smile by turning his face into my hand and kissing my palm. I could have kept going. I could have told him that I had never heard him talk down to anyone, that he was honest and sincere. I even loved that he was a cop. Though that had tak
en me a long time.
He pressed my hand into the side of his face and looked at me with those dark eyes. “When I first saw you on that snowy road, I honestly wondered if I had fallen asleep at the wheel. You looked like this beautiful snow goddess, and I wanted to know everything about you.” He let out a little laugh. “It just took me a lot longer than I expected to find out who you were.”
“But now you know?”
“I think I’ve got a pretty good start.”
I ran my thumb along the scruff on his chin. “Me too. But I also think there’s plenty more to learn.”
“I’m looking forward to it.” He kissed me, and I smiled.
That afternoon and the next day I had three different visits from Agent Spencer, who asked me a vast assortment of questions about my years growing up, the people I had met, the places I’d been, the things my father had said. Seemingly endless questions, followed by clarifying questions and then repeated questions to be sure I really didn’t know the answer. Jack would sit beside me and when the questions annoyed me enough to make me yell, he would politely intervene and ask Agent Spencer to come back another time.
Jack was sitting on the foot of my bed eating my Jell-o when he suddenly asked, “Do you think maybe we can find a way to live in the same place?” He did a good puppy-dog-eyes impression.
I let out a little laugh, relieved that he had broached the subject. “Yes, please. I’ve got nothing tying me down anywhere, though I would like to keep going to school.”
His brow shut up. “You’ve been going to school?” He seemed excited for me.
A happy smile curved my lips. “Yeah, majoring in musical performance at NAU.”
“I can’t wait to hear you play in person.”
“My violin’s still in Flagstaff.”
“I’m betting most of your stuff is there.”
I nodded.
“There’s a university in Denver.”
I smiled at his non-invitation invitation. “Yeah?”
“Yeah.” He grinned. “Would you want to finish your semester at NAU?”
I grimaced. “I’ve been attending under a fake name…I should probably stop doing that.”
If I Could Stay Page 26