The Standby Guy
Page 5
“Excellent.” Malcolm gestured to the waiter. “Now. You must try the tiramisu.”
…
Carter felt like he must have been grinning from ear to ear, but he tried to tone it down as they headed out of the restaurant. Both Malcolm and his wife had been unexpectedly down-to-earth, but knowing Gloria Burns, Carter shouldn’t have been surprised. No friend of hers could be snooty and remain in her company for long.
He liked the way Katie’s arm felt tucked in his. Her body pressed lightly against his felt even better. The wine had been flowing all evening, but Carter had switched to water long before Katie had. She must have been just tipsy enough to get a little carried away with the flirting and touching at the table. The gestures had been all make believe, just like this date. Katie had played her part well. Though if he thought about it, it had only felt over the top because it came from his friend, Kat. If she’d been a real date, it wouldn’t have seemed unusual at all.
“Can we check out the garden before we go?” She gazed up at him, and he had to shake off the crazy warm feeling that washed over him, had to remind himself again that this was all pretend. “I only got a peek across the dining room.”
“Sure.” They said their goodbyes to the Worthingtons and then followed the pathway to the lush gardens.
“This is so beautiful.” Katie’s eyes were wide as they stepped through the ornate gate. “And it smells amazing.”
The look of wonder on her face surprised him. Yeah, the castle garden was pretty, with lots of trees and ornamental bushes. Colorful flowers were spattered among the greenery. At least a dozen other people strolled the brick paths winding through the garden, some holding drinks. Large windows from the restaurant looked out onto the space. Their table had been on the other side of the dining room, so they hadn’t had that view.
He’d rather look at Katie anyway.
She’d never talked about being enamored with gardens. “If you love gardens so much, why don’t you have one? You have enough space.”
Katie glanced at him as if he were crazy. “Just because I can appreciate the beauty of this marvelous garden doesn’t mean I want to spend all that time and energy on one myself. I can appreciate it even more because I don’t have to spend hours planting and weeding. I have other things I’d rather spend my time on.”
“You mean there’s no ‘plant a medieval garden’ on your list?”
She laughed. “Not even close.”
“Do you want to sit?” He pointed to a bench in a corner of the garden.
“Let’s get a drink first.” She grabbed his hand and tugged him over to a small bar, almost hidden among the greenery along the back wall.
Carter bought her another glass of wine, but he ordered a soft drink. Katie was fidgeting, and he had the feeling he’d need a clear head to deal with whatever was bothering her. Besides, he still had to drive them home.
He drew her back over to the bench. “Is something wrong?”
“Look at all those cozy couples walking hand and hand. Leaning into each other. Smiling. Smoldering.”
“Smoldering?”
“Yeah. Look at that couple over there. She’s wearing that tight red dress.”
He saw them, arms around each other, beneath a flowering tree.
“See how they’re looking at each other? That smolder? I wouldn’t even know how to do that. I don’t even know how to get to the point where I could smolder with someone.”
“You’re not making any sense.”
She downed half the glass of wine. “Now that Sean’s moved out, I’ve started thinking about how I want to live the rest of my life. I’ve been feeling like there’s something missing, and when I came across an item on my list, it made so much sense.”
“Something missing?” He’d turned into a parrot tonight.
She nodded but didn’t say anything more.
It wasn’t like Katie to dance around an issue. “Well, what is it?”
The words spilled out of her mouth so quickly the sentence was almost like one long word. “I want to find my mojo. It’s on my list.”
His brain froze. “What?”
“Mojo. You know. Sexual confidence? I don’t have any.” She glanced around as if she was afraid someone would overhear. “I haven’t felt like a woman in years. At least not a sexy woman.”
I’ve never seen a woman sexier than you are right now. Carter almost slapped his hand over his mouth to stop the words from breaking out. He had no business thinking it, much less saying it out loud. She wouldn’t want to hear it from him. “Don’t talk crazy. You’re a beautiful woman.”
Her cheeks pinked, and she lifted her hands to her face. “See, I blush at a simple compliment. And I don’t even know what to say in response. I have no confidence when it comes to flirting. Or seducing.”
Flirting? Seducing? “What the hell, Kat?”
She chugged the rest of the wine and slammed the glass down on the bench between them. “A woman has needs, Carter. Don’t act like you don’t know what I’m talking about.”
“Katie…”
“With Tim, it was so easy. We were young and wild and horny all the time.”
Carter winced. How much had she had to drink? He really didn’t want to hear about her and Tim and sex. He glanced around, but no one seemed to be paying attention to them. “I think I should get you home.”
She went on as if he hadn’t spoken. “When Tim died, my passion died with him. There was too much else going on for me to feel desire, and now that I’m ready, I don’t know how to get it back.”
“Katie Kat.”
“I just need practice. I need some help.” She wavered a little as she leaned forward and grabbed the front of his shirt. “Carter, help me.”
He was gobsmacked, as Sean used to say. He opened his mouth, but no words came out.
She hopped up from the bench, her eyes sparking. “Forget I said anything. I wasn’t going to ask you anyway. It gushed out somehow. I know it was wrong to ask you. I’m sure I can find another man to help me. You can take me home now.”
Another man? Like hell.
“Wait.” He stood and grasped her by the shoulders. “You took me by surprise. That’s all. What you’re saying doesn’t make any sense to me. I’ve always seen you as a woman.”
He didn’t like the troubled look on her face. “Yeah, but as a woman friend,” she told him, spat it out like it was a dirty word. “You don’t see me as a sexy woman. And I understand that. You’re not attracted to me. You don’t want to date me. Or have…sex with me. I need to be able to hold my own with guys who haven’t spent the last fifteen years raising a son alone, guys who’ve had lots of practice dating.”
Guys who wanted to have sex with her?
Carter found himself stroking her bare arms. If she thought he wasn’t attracted to her, she was crazy. He’d been so careful not to get into a situation like this one. When her hair was twisted up into something fancy that left her neck bare and her throat begging for a nibble. When she was wearing a slip of a dress that hugged her body and tempted his hands to follow her curves. When her skin was so soft that his hands never wanted to stop stroking.
He’d loved her like a friend for years. He knew those feelings had the potential to turn into more if he let them. But he wouldn’t let them. She was his friend. His best friend. And the quickest way to ruin a friendship was to have sex.
She didn’t want sex with him anyway. She wanted him to help her get ready to have sex with someone else. How could he even be considering it?
He slid his hands down her arms until he reached her wrists, and he circled them with his fingers. He caught her gaze and held it. The scent of the flowers at their feet drifted around them like perfume. “I don’t think I’m the right person to help you with this.”
Her eyes widened. “I’ve felt sexy for the first time in forever. I felt like a woman on a date tonight, not somebody’s mom pretending. Now I need to practice until it doesn’t feel like pretending anymore.”
The idea of her with another man put a fist in his gut. “I guess I can give you some tips.”
“I need my mojo back. Did I ever have any to begin with? I was still in school when I started dating Tim. I didn’t even know what the word meant back then.” She huffed. “I want to be sexy and confident. I want to be able to flirt and not feel stupid. You do it all the time. You must or you wouldn’t be the guy women love to run to.”
Did he encourage her or try to discourage her? But immediately, he was ashamed of those thoughts. Just because he hated the idea of her going up to a stranger in a bar and flirting with him didn’t mean she didn’t have every right.
“Don’t ever feel like you need to pretend. All you have to do is be yourself.”
Katie rolled her eyes. “Everyone says that. If I don’t try to be more than I am right now, I might as well stay home for the rest of my life. I’ll always feel like something was missing.”
“What I meant is you’re a smart, funny, thoughtful woman. Say what’s on your mind. If you have to lie to talk to a guy, then he’s not the guy you want. You have to be able to be truthful. And he has to be someone you can trust with your heart. With your life.”
Somehow she’d taken a step closer to him, and their bodies were almost touching each other. Her soft scent mingled with the flowers to turn into an aroma that made his head spin.
“But I’m not looking for anyone to be serious with. I’m not going to trust anyone with my heart.”
That was because Tim still had it. “Well, then what are you looking for? A casual hookup? A one-night stand? That doesn’t sound like the Katie I know.”
“I’m not a child. I’m a forty-year-old woman, and I know what I want. I’m just out of practice.” Instead of her cheeks pinking with embarrassment, her eyes flashed. “I suppose you’ve never flirted with women at a bar. Never had a one-night stand. Ha. Why should it be any different for me? I don’t agree with any double standards, and I didn’t think my friend Carter did, either.”
“Katie…”
“This was a bad idea. A terrible idea. You’re too close to me. You can’t be objective. I’ll ask Anita to help me. She’s had flings all over the world. She’d be a much better person to help me. Forget I said anything. Then you won’t have to worry about me.”
Like he wouldn’t worry about her even more if he didn’t have any idea what she was thinking. What she was doing. Where she was going. What Noah’s wife-to-be might be teaching her. Who Katie was planning to hook up with.
Katie? His Kat? Hooking up?
“If you need someone to practice with, it’s going to be me,” he snapped. Her gasp sounded breathless, like it might during sex. His body started to react, hardening as it hadn’t in a while now. His gaze dropped to her mouth, and she ran her tongue over her lips. “Anita might be reluctant to do this…”
He leaned in, and Katie met him halfway. At first, he lightly brushed his mouth over hers, tentatively tasting her, testing her. So sweet. She didn’t pull away but leaned forward, rose on her toes, and wrapped her arms around his neck.
If she wanted to practice, they’d practice.
Carter closed his eyes and crushed his lips to hers. She hesitated for a moment and then sank into the kiss. A little noise escaped the back of her throat and urged him to deepen the kiss. He longed to drink in her sweetness. He thought for an instant that he might have to coax her to part her lips for him, but she opened to him with a moan. Their tongues met, dueled. Fueled the fire in his veins.
Her fingers tunneled into his hair, holding him in place while she pressed more fully against him. Breathless, he pulled away for a brief moment, tilted his face slightly to change the angle of the kiss, and dove in again.
When she suddenly stilled, he came back to himself. To the place they were standing. To the woman he was tasting. He lifted his lips and rested his forehead against hers. He swallowed as his breathing returned to normal.
Thank goodness they were in a secluded part of the garden. He cleared his throat and let her go. “Was that what you had in mind? Practice-wise?”
Katie stepped back and nodded, letting out a shaky breath. Her eyes were wide. “I…um…I guess it came back to me pretty quickly.”
“Yeah.” Carter grabbed her hand and headed for the parking lot. “Like riding a bicycle.”
Chapter Five
Katie had come into her studio extra early the next morning to meet Sam Hernandez, the local veterinarian, before he opened his clinic. He was updating his website and wanted a new headshot. She hadn’t slept well the night before, her mind replaying that kiss with Carter over and over again. Her lips still seemed to buzz from the friction of his mouth on hers.
Carter’s mouth. On hers.
The drive home from the restaurant had been quiet. The tension between them had been palpable, the air practically crackling.
Was this going to affect their friendship? Katie worried about that. But her life couldn’t continue the way it had been going. If she looked back, it had been building for the past few years, this feeling that something was missing. Once Sean had stopped taking so much of her time and her business had become practically self-sustaining, the hole in her life seemed to become more noticeable.
That still didn’t mean she wanted a relationship, to be responsible, accountable, to someone else. Her time was her own now, and that wasn’t going to change. But there was still a need to feel like a sexual being, to be wanted, to occasionally enjoy…sex. If she could get to that point again.
Kisses. Friendship. Sex. All those thoughts spun in the back of her mind while she took care of business, making sure the handsome small-animal vet looked professional, caring, and trustworthy for his website. His dark hair was shot with silver, and the crinkles at the corners of his eyes merely added to his attractiveness. After he thanked her and walked out the door, she wandered to the front window and let her gaze follow him across the street to his car.
She’d been wondering how she would find single guys her age to flirt with. To fling with. She’d been at a loss to think of many in Lakeside, but…hmm…Sam Hernandez? He was a nice guy, divorced, easy to talk to. But could she come on to him and then be able to face him later in a professional capacity? Or even on the street? How did Carter do it?
Her phone vibrated in her pocket. When she glanced at the screen, she saw it was her mother. “Hey, Mom.”
“You didn’t tell me you and Carter were dating.” Her tone was gleeful. Her mother had never understood why Katie hadn’t remarried as soon as possible. A woman needed a man to make her life complete as far as her mother was concerned.
“Um, what gave you that idea?” Had a friend of her mother’s been at the Castle on the Hill last night and saw them in the dining room? And then tattled to her mother?
“I saw the pictures this morning.”
“Pictures? Of me and Carter?”
“Well, one picture. On the village page.”
“Hold on.” Katie switched her phone over to the Lakeside village page, and there it was. It wasn’t an innocent photo of her and Carter in the dining room, holding hands. That might have been okay. It was a picture of the two of them in the garden, their arms wrapped around each other. Their lips plastered together. Their bodies pressed against each other. Whoever took the picture hadn’t cared about lighting or composition, but it was definitely them. Her heart began to race.
Her body heated as she remembered. The fact that someone had invaded their privacy and taken a picture somehow couldn’t override the memory of the heat of that moment. She and Carter should have been more careful. Lakeside was known for its active gossip mill, an
d candid pictures posted online were commonplace.
The post that accompanied the picture read, “Carter and Katie, standing by a tree. K-i-s-s-i-n-g.” It had been posted by Helen Bradford, wife of one of the wealthiest businessmen in Lakeside. She was notorious for posting photos of other people online.
Katie went back to her mother. “It’s not what it looks like.”
“I wasn’t born yesterday. I know exactly what it looks like. A lawyer, Katherine. Good job.”
Katie rolled her eyes. “Mom.”
“I have to go now. Lawrence and I are off to Buffalo for his cardiologist appointment, and then we’re having lunch at that new Italian restaurant and going shopping.”
“Have a safe trip,” Katie mumbled, but her mother was already gone.
Everyone in Lakeside who had a smartphone checked the village page at least once a day. It was like a sickness. How soon before someone came barging through the door, demanding all the details of her supposed relationship with Carter? Guess she’d have to go home for lunch today. She’d hate to think about the grilling she’d get at Bud’s or at the Sunrise Café.
Carter had told her he was going to be in court this morning, so she couldn’t call to warn him. Or did he already know? Probably not or he would have at least sent her a text. His phone would be off, so there was no point sending a message now. He’d surely hear about it before he came over for coffee that afternoon.
The fact that there was a picture of them kissing wasn’t that horrible. It reinforced the relationship they were pretending for the Worthingtons. That’s what she told herself anyway. It was like Lakeside had its own team of paparazzi and every single resident was a celebrity. There had been plenty of pictures posted of PDAs over the years. Tomorrow morning, there’d probably be something else for the village residents to talk about.
Ginny was the next to call her. “You sneak! And Carter! He told me to my face that there was no chance the two of you would ever get together.”
That hurt surprisingly more than Katie thought it would. Which was stupid. Of course they would never get together for real. He hadn’t denied it when she said he didn’t find her attractive. Just as well. Her heart was partway his already, and she couldn’t risk losing the rest to him.