by Andrew Kane
“Yes,” Hannah responded, placing her arm around her daughter. “He needs to rest.” She looked at Isaac. “Yitzchak, we’re going to be in the waiting room down the hall. We’ll be back after you rest.” To the nurse, she added, “Would you kindly ask the doctor to find us after he sees him?”
“Of course.”
Rachel and Hannah went down the hall to a small visitors’ lounge. It was empty, except for a seemingly healthy patient in a hospital gown, sitting in a corner by the window, reading the newspaper. They smiled at the man as they entered, and he smiled back before returning to his paper. They sat next to one another on a couch, as far away from the man as the room would permit. Hannah tried to speak softly so as not to disturb him. “What is this you’re saying about changing your mind?”
“I don’t have to go to college, it’s not that important.”
“It seemed like it was important this morning.”
“Things have changed.”
“Look, Rachel, you can’t blame yourself for what has happened to your father…”
“I can’t?” Rachel interrupted. “Why not?”
“Because it’s not your fault.”
“Right.” Sarcasm.
Hannah realized that her daughter wasn’t going to listen to reason. She thought of postponing this talk until later. Rachel began to cry. Hannah reached over, took Rachel in her arms, and held her. The man by the window got up and left.
They sat for a few minutes until another man in a white coat appeared in the lounge. He was a short, thin, bespectacled, and balding fellow, somewhere in his early thirties. Rachel recognized him from around the hospital; she realized he was Doctor Levine, the chief resident in cardiology. “Excuse me, are you Mrs. Weissman?” he asked.
“Yes.” Hannah stood up to greet him.
“I’m Doctor Levine. I’m handling your husband’s case.” He recognized Rachel and greeted her with a smile.
“How is he doing?” Hannah asked, skipping formalities.
“Right now, he’s out of the woods. But I’m afraid he’s had a rather serious heart attack, and it’s hard to tell what will happen.”
“What does that mean?” Agitation.
“Well, in situations like this, it can be touch and go for several days.”
“You mean he may die?”
“I mean,” he hesitated, “it’s unlikely, but possible. We need to watch him carefully, which—I can assure you—we’re going to do. I’m afraid that’s all I know. Does he have a family doctor or an internist?”
“No, not really. None of us have ever been ill. We’ve always used Doctor Bronstein for Rachel, and once, when my husband had a bad cold, Doctor Bronstein gave him some medication, but that was it.”
Doctor Levine listened without surprise. He was used to hearing things like this from the Hasidic Jews. They trusted in God a bit too much, he thought.
“Well, that’s fine. I’ll be following him while he’s in the hospital, so there’s no need to worry.”
No need to worry; that’s just great, Hannah thought. My husband may die and there’s no need to worry.
“Would you tell Doctor Schiffman that we’re here?” Rachel asked.
“Oh yes. You’re one of her volunteers, I recognize you from the ER. I’ll let her know right away. I’m sure she’ll be up to see you.” He turned to Hannah. “You can go back in and see him in about an hour, but keep your visits short. I want him to rest.” With that, he turned and left.
Hannah walked over to the window and looked down at the street below. “I told him he was working too much, running too much,” she whispered to herself. “I told him to take it easy, but he wouldn’t hear of it. He just wouldn’t listen. He’s so stubborn, so damned stubborn!”
“I’m sorry, Mama. Now, Papa’s going to be sick and your life is going to be hard. I’m sorry I did this to you.” Weeping.
Hannah turned to Rachel and shook her. “Rachel, there’s nothing for you to be sorry about. Your father is going to be fine! He’s a strong man, and he’s survived a lot more than this.”
“I’m sorry, Mama, I should never have told him that I wanted to be a doctor. I’m going to marry Binny, I promise. I’m going to make Papa happy. He’s had such a hard life; he deserves to be happy.”
Hannah realized she was getting nowhere. Rachel, my little Rucheleh, such a beauty, so smart, so much passion for life. And so stubborn, like her father. They embraced, and as they turned around, they saw Doctor Schiffman standing there.
“I didn’t want to interrupt,” the doctor said.
“It’s okay,” Hannah answered.
Rachel was shocked, and wondered just how long Schiffman had been there.
“I just passed Doctor Levine in the hall and he told me,” Schiffman said.
“We asked him to,” Hannah replied.
“Is there anything you need, anything I can do?”
Hannah thought for a second. “No, but thank you.”
“Doctor Levine is an excellent physician. He’s the chief resident in cardiology. The rabbi couldn’t be in better hands.” She looked at Rachel. “If you need to talk, you know where to find me. I’ll stop in on the rabbi often and make sure he’s okay.”
Rachel nodded, but was still wordless.
“I have to get back to work, but I’ll see you both soon,” Schiffman said. She placed a hand on each of their shoulders. “Don’t worry, the Rabbi is a fighter,” she continued, “He’ll fight and win. He’s going to be fine.” She turned to leave, and added, “I promise!”
At that moment, Hannah Weissman finally understood what her daughter had seen in this woman doctor. She understood, and even felt jealous. But, more than that, she was proud. It would be no embarrassment to have a daughter like that.
But Rachel would have none of it. Convinced of her responsibility for her father’s illness, she was committed to doing anything to ease his life, no matter the sacrifice. In the scheme of things, marrying Binny Frankel, becoming a Rebbetzin, and having lots of children wasn’t “all that bad.” She could do it. She would do it.
Rabbi Weissman grew stronger in the hospital, and came home after five weeks. Hannah and he had frequently discussed Rachel, and they decided to leave things alone. They had mixed feelings about her decision, and wanted only for her to be happy. But they also believed that the true path to happiness was the Hasidic way. “Let us leave things in God’s hands,” the rabbi suggested. And that was what they did.
Binny was delighted. He, too, wondered about Rachel’s sudden change of heart, but he chose not to question God’s design. The engagement was finalized, and the wedding date was set for the middle of June. A wedding under the stars. The Hasidic way.
CHAPTER 28
Rachel told Joshua of her decision. During her father’s hospitalization, she had stopped by his house often. He was her confidant, and there was nothing she didn’t tell him. Including things she knew would hurt.
Deep in his heart, Joshua knew it could be no other way. He had his dreams, and wondered if she had them too. He liked to assume that she did. It was what he needed to believe.
Almost five months had passed since his injury, and he was hobbling around pretty well with the cane. Spring was approaching and with it, his depression was beginning to lift. He was getting out of the house more, and had even accompanied Rachel a few times on visits to her father. He liked it that the rabbi was always pleased to see him.
On the day that Rachel showed him her engagement ring, the reality hit. He became despondent. He had expected this sooner or later, but was still unprepared for it.
They were on a bench in the park. The weather was a little chilly and there weren’t many people around.
“I’m sorry,” she said, reaching over to touch him.
“Sorry about what?” Trying to appear happy.
“Sorry if this upsets you.”
“Upsets me? Of course not! It’s great news. It’s what you want.” It was a cheap shot, for he knew she
wasn’t doing what she truly wanted.
She was quiet for a few seconds. “I’ll always love you, Joshua. You’ll always be my best friend, even better than Esther…”
“Stop!” He put his hand over her mouth. “You don’t have to say that. I know we’ll always be friends. Come,” he said, holding out his hand, “let’s walk.”
She took his hand, stood up, and then let go as they began walking. He hated that touching and letting go thing that she always did, but took it for what it was. He knew that she shouldn’t be touching him at all, but also knew that she sometimes just couldn’t help herself. He understood the last part only too well.
Spring arrived, and Joshua was feeling stronger. He had never given up on Celeste, nor his quest to bring her home. He was sure Big Bob had been moving her around, and had no idea where to begin. He would have to go back to square one, and knew it would once again take money. He was also a lot less confident about roaming the old neighborhood with his bad leg. It would be difficult if he had to move quickly. What the hell.
One day he removed the five one hundred dollar bills from behind his mirror, and stared at the money. He thought about himself, when he had first hidden the money. Had he really changed that much? It was hard for him to think so, standing there with the bills in his hand.
He knew five hundred wouldn’t be enough, so he pulled one of his old school books from the shelf in which he had hidden his savings from the job in the synagogue. In all, it came to seven hundred and forty three dollars. He wondered if even that was enough. But it would have to do. And with what he was cooking up, he figured it might just work.
He waited, out of sight, across the street from the store for about an hour. He watched Bones doing his thing, collecting his money, and walking in and out of the store every twenty minutes or so. As the evening progressed, things got busier. He needed to speak to Bones privately, and was prepared to wait all night for the opportunity.
Just after two in the morning, Bones emerged from the store and started walking in the opposite direction from the corner. Joshua figured the pimp was calling it a day. He quickly took the money from his shoe, searched a garbage can and found a paper bag with rotted fruit in it, dumped the fruit, placed the money in the bag, and hid it under the pail. He didn’t think it wise to have the money on him when he met up with Bones, and figured he wasn’t going to be gone long enough for anything to happen to it. Not his best idea, he knew, but neither was anything else he was doing.
He stayed in the shadows, crossed the street, and followed Bones as quickly as his foot allowed. It was a few blocks before he was sure he could approach. There was no one else in sight. His cane made it hard to sneak up on anyone, so he just hobbled along the sidewalk and called out, “Bones!”
Bones turned quickly, as if ready for an attack. When he saw it was Joshua, he loosened up some, and asked, “What you doin’ here?”
“I need to talk.”
“You know you could get killed, comin’ outta nowhere like that. Truth be, you could get killed just hangin’ ’round these parts this time of night.” He noticed Joshua’s cane and smiled his wicked smile.
“I know, I don’t care.”
“Right, you a brave one. Stupid too.”
“Listen, I didn’t come to get your opinion of me, I came to find the girl.”
“What girl?”
“Look, if you’re gonna bullshit me, we don’t do business.”
“Business? What kinda business you wanna do?”
“I’ve got seven hundred dollars says you know where the girl is.” He needed the rest for cab fare home.
“Seven hundred dollars.” Pensive.
“And no one has to know.”
“Let’s just see this money,” he said.
“You think I’m stupid enough to walk these streets with that kind of dough at night?”
Bones didn’t answer.
“I got it stashed, not far from here. You tell me where the girl is, and I’ll tell you where the money is.”
Bones was thinking. Joshua knew he’d sell out, but wasn’t sure that seven hundred was enough. “What happened to your leg?”
“It’s a long story. Not important right now.”
“You already paid a lot for this girl, now you wanna pay more? She ain’t even gonna go with you!”
“That’s my problem. Look, we have a deal or not?”
“Yeah, okay, deal.” Bones took the bait, seeing it as a win-win: seven hundred dollars he wouldn’t have to share with Big Bob, plus his confidence that the girl wasn’t going anyway. “One thing,” he added.
“Yeah, what?”
“Whether the girl goes with you or not ain’t my problem. Whatever happens, you don’t tell her how you found her. Don’t want her goin’ and blabbing to the boss, if you get my meaning.”
“I got it.”
Bones told Joshua where Celeste was, and Joshua told him where the money was.
“Boy, you dumber than I thought.” Bones said. “How you go off leavin’ seven hundred dollars under a garbage pail in an alley?”
“Look, it’ll be there, just where I say it is.” He tried to sound reassuring. “I only put it there a few minutes ago.”
“It better be.”
The instant Joshua saw the place, he wished Bones had lied. It was a drug house, an abandoned, rundown, decrepit building that looked like it had been bombed out during a war. The front entrance had no door, and the windows were either boarded up or barren.
He entered the building, and was immediately hit with the foul stench of decayed food and garbage. There was no light, and all he heard was the squeaking sounds of rats. Then, he heard something else: heavy breathing.
He followed the breathing until he stood over a young black woman, barely clothed, squatting in a corner, staring out into nowhere. He looked at her face, and thanked God it wasn’t Celeste. His eyes adjusted to the darkness, and beside the girl he saw a syringe lying on the floor. It took her a while to notice his presence.
“Want somethin’?” she asked.
“Yeah, I do.”
“Well, what’ll it be?”
“Just some information.”
“Information?”
“Yes.”
“What kinda information?”
“About a girl.”
“What’s wrong with me that you interested in someone else?”
“Nothing’s wrong with you, I’m just looking for a friend.”
“Friend? I’ll be your friend!”
He knew he wasn’t getting anywhere, so he reached into his pocket and took out the last of his money, a five dollar bill and change. He gave her the five. She looked the bill over, and said, “A friend, you say. What’s her name?”
“Celeste.”
“Don’t know no Celeste.” She put the bill in her pocket.
He described Celeste, at least what she’d looked like last he’d seen her.
“Oh, you mean Cocoa!”
“Cocoa, I suppose so, if that’s what Cocoa looks like.”
“Sure sound like it.”
“Okay, so where is this Cocoa.”
“She’s here.”
He looked around and didn’t see anyone else.”
“Upstairs. One of the rooms upstairs.”
“Which one?”
“One of them! What you think, I’m a hotel clerk or somethin’?”
“Yeah, sure,” he said, turning away, looking for the stairs.
He walked up to the second floor, and heard more sounds: breathing, coughing, groaning. He began checking out the rooms, one by one. The first had two girls and one man, each sleeping in separate corners. He approached all of them, examined their faces, but none was Celeste. They were the living dead, so strung out nobody moved or even acknowledged his presence.
The next room had one girl. Again, it wasn’t Celeste. The last room had two girls. The first was another stranger, the second wasn’t. His heart stopped. It was her, or what was left
of her. Disheveled and sickly, but definitely her. He shook her a few times. She didn’t respond. He jolted her more severely until she came to.
She looked up at him. “Joshua?”
“It’s me, Celeste, I’ve come to take you home.”
“Joshua, is that you?”
“Yes, it’s me.”
“What are you doing here?”
“I’ve come to take you home.”
“Take me home?” Her words came slowly, slurred.
He put his arms around her, and lifted her up to her feet. She could barely stand on her own. “My God,” he said. “What’s happened to you?”
“To me? What do you mean?” She sounded innocent, as if she really didn’t understand.
“We’ll talk about it later.” He began leading her out of the room.
“Talk about what? Where are we going?” She stopped, resisted him, and suddenly came to life.
“Come, Celeste, I’m taking you home.”
“I keep telling you, Joshua, I ain’t got no home!” She spoke as if she’d had no sense of time, as if they’d just had this conversation yesterday.
“I’m taking you home with me, to my house.”
“Your house. I can’t go to your house. I have to stay here.” She turned and started back towards her corner.
He grabbed her arm. “Celeste, you can’t stay here! I’m taking you with me. You’ll stay with Mama and me, and we’ll get you some help.”
“Help? I don’t need no help!”
“Celeste, please! Just come with me. It’s late, come home with me, sleep over, and we’ll talk about it in the morning.”
“Sleep with you,” she said, moving in closer and rubbing herself against him. “Sure, I’ll sleep with you.”
“Not with me.” He stepped away. “You can sleep in my bed, though. I’ll sleep on the couch, or something. We’ll figure it out when we get there.”
“Get where?” She was losing it again.
“My house. Come on!”
“Sure, I’ll sleep with you, Joshua. Anytime, cause you’re my man,” she said dreamily, ambling alongside him. The resistance had gone out of her. “I’ll always sleep with you.”