So tempting.
‘That’s very kind of you, Nikki. I really appreciate the call.’ So, so tempting. ‘But I’m not sure of my plans. I might . . . ah . . . be heading back to Europe.’
Bella couldn’t believe she’d said it out loud. Publicly. To Nikki, of all people. She might as well have made an announcement on the seven o’clock news.
‘Oh, I didn’t realise.’ Nikki sounded puzzled. ‘I thought . . . with your father and everything.’
Now Bella’s guilt came slamming back. Her confusion. The tug-of-war in her heart.
‘Everything’s up in the air at the moment,’ she said. ‘So I’m afraid I can’t make a commitment right now.’
‘Pity.’
Yeah. Huge pity. But even if she stayed, she couldn’t bear to have Sassy back in her life and not Gabe. Sassy wasn’t some kind of consolation prize.
‘I wonder who’ll buy her then?’ Nikki said.
It was a question Bella had no wish to ponder. ‘Thanks for thinking of me.’
‘No worries.’
Painful seconds ticked by after Nikki hung up. Bella stood there, hugging the receiver against her chest. She couldn’t afford to buy Sassy on the off-chance that she might stay. A new horse would be an investment. It would mean digging into Mullinjim’s funds. Before she did anything like that, she needed to be certain.
No, painful as it had been, she’d made the right choice last time when she sold her.
In the end, the family’s pre-Christmas gathering and farewell for Liz was held at Zoe and Mac’s place, Coolabah Waters.
‘I owe you and Bella a meal,’ Zoe had told Liz.
‘Not really. We owed you one,’ Liz corrected her.
Zoe laughed. ‘Whatever. The thing is – I’d really love to put on an early Christmas dinner here for everyone. You and Bella hve been working so hard for Peter and I’d like to make a contribution.’
A subtle reminder, perhaps, that Peter was Zoe’s father, too.
‘Well, I can’t pretend I wouldn’t mind at all if I didn’t have to cook,’ Liz said.
‘And I would love it, so that’s settled. That’s great.’ Zoe sounded excited. ‘Luckily I’ve already bought in stores for Christmas, so as long as Virginia and Peter are happy to come over here, we’re set.’
Virginia and Peter were indeed very happy with this arrangement. The Mullinjim contingent all left together, around four, after Peter had rested, taking their time on the cross-country drive, and wincing at the parched land they travelled over, which seemed to be shrivelling in front of their eyes.
Neither Liz nor Bella had seen the renovations and extensions to Mac’s original modest homestead, so Bella was gobsmacked when they arrived.
‘Oh, my God, Mac. This place is divine!’
What had once been a simple six-by-six shed was now a sprawling, very contemporary home with huge glass walls and a fabulous deck looking out over the pretty lagoons. Of course, the lagoons would look more attractive once the rain arrived, but they still held some water, and now, in the late blush of a summer’s afternoon, they attracted masses of birds.
‘Luke designed all this and he did most of the work,’ Mac told them as they admired the minimalist open-plan interior. ‘I was very much the apprentice, just hammering the odd nail and doing what I was told.’
Bella admired the interesting, rakish roofline. ‘It’s fabulous. I can see why Luke wants to be a builder. Or even an architect.’
‘Yes, it’s definitely his calling.’ Liz said this so solemnly that everyone looked at her, and she gave them a self-conscious, smiling shrug. ‘Isn’t it a sin to ignore our God-given talents?’
‘It certainly is,’ Peter agreed.
Bella realised that her father was looking at her as he said this, and his gaze was quite deliberate, sending her a clear message that he now had no doubts about where her talents lay.
Over the past couple of days he’d praised her to the skies, clearly thrilled with the way she’d looked after Mullinjim.
Thanks, Dad. It was incredibly satisfying to bask in the warmth of his approval. Until she remembered that he’d also given his blessing for her to return to Europe.
Life could be so very confusing.
Fortunately Zoe brought out a platter of cheeses and dainty tomato tarts, and everyone’s attention turned to her culinary talents as they settled on the deck to enjoy the food and the wine and the last of the daylight.
Bella tried to keep her thoughts from straying to Gabe, but she couldn’t help remembering how well he’d got on with Zoe and Mac at their barbecue. And she missed him, damn it. Missed his smile. Missed the jittery restlessness that his presence always roused in her. Missed every single thing about him, to be honest.
It was just as darkness fell that Luke arrived. The twin headlights of his ute bobbing along the track signalled the completion of his long trip from Charters Towers and everyone rushed to greet him.
Luke kissed his mother and gave his father a firm handshake. ‘Great to see you back here, Dad.’ His eyes were suddenly too shiny as he gave his father a fierce hug.
Then he laughed to cover the embarrassment of letting his emotions show.
‘Hey, sis.’ Now it was Bella’s turn for a bear hug, and while the others returned to the deck, Luke kept a hold on her elbow. ‘Belle.’
She tensed. Was he also going to quiz her about her plans?
‘I want to thank you for all the work you’ve done at home.’
‘That’s okay, mate. I’ve enjoyed it.’
He met her gaze with a worried smile. ‘You’re sure?’
‘Of course.’
‘I’ve been worried about leaving you with everything, but the contract––’
‘I know. You explained about the contract.’ Bella gave his arm a squeeze. ‘Don’t stress, Luke. I understand how you feel about the whole building thing. I think you’re amazing and you’ve made the right choice. I’m in love with what you’ve done to Mac’s place.’
Her brother smiled at her then and his brow visibly cleared. ‘The job will be finished by the end of the year. So if you want to head back over to France––’
‘Thanks. I’ll bear that in mind.’ He was offering her freedom, but why did she feel like crying?
‘Come and try Zoe’s amazing food,’ she said, quickly steering him to the deck where a long table was set for seven.
The meal was sensational, exceeding everyone’s expectations. There was a first course of smoked trout salad, which was followed by a rolled turkey roast, fabulously stuffed with pork mince and fruit mince, along with chopped onions and herbs, served with baby carrots and new potatoes, sprinkled with chopped chives.
Mac was obviously very proud of Zoe and he was enjoying his role as host, helping to serve and conscientiously topping up drinks. The conversation flowed easily. There was plenty of laughter and everyone looked exceptionally happy.
Bella knew they were all aware of how precious this night was – to have Peter home again and to have Liz still with them, and Luke. And it was great to be with Zoe, their new sister, who seemed to fit into the family so easily as if she truly belonged.
Despite the hard work of putting on the dinner, Zoe was practically glowing this evening and Bella was fascinated. Her half-sister looked so pretty with her sparkling eyes and dark curls and pink-flushed cheeks.
Perhaps it was because she was watching so closely that Bella noticed Zoe wasn’t drinking wine. An exciting thought struck and her curiosity shot off the scale.
By the time she helped Zoe to clear the dinner plates and take them into the kitchen, she was almost bursting.
‘Zoe, I know this is a bit cheeky, but you’re not—’
At the last moment she lost her nerve, and Zoe, busily removing a beautiful cut-glass bowl filled with delicious-looking layers of trifle from the fridge, had apparently not noticed the unfinished question.
‘That looks amazing,’ Bella told her instead.
‘It’s
a mango trifle. I thought something tropical would be nice.’
‘It’ll be a sensation.’
As Bella picked up the pile of dessert plates and followed Zoe back outside, she saw the way Mac’s eyes lit up the minute his wife reappeared and she tried to ignore the nasty sting of envy. Despite her resolve to stop thinking about Gabe, she was so him missing tonight.
Where was he? Who was he dining with? Was he even sparing her a single thought?
35.
It was dark by the time Gabe got back to Redman Downs. The lights in Roy’s cottage were already out, so he went straight to the home-stead and let himself in.
The house was hot and musty from being shut up and he went around, opening windows and turning on lights. One good thing about the dry season – there were very few insects batting at the screens.
Despite the pleasures of life at the coast, it was good to be home, especially now when he had so many reasons to be happy and relieved, so many things to tell Bella.
At last.
And it would be too bad if she wasn’t ready or willing to hear what he had to say. Tonight, Gabe wouldn’t even let the French ski instructor boyfriend faze him. The tide had turned. His mind was made up and he had to phone Bella quickly.
He was feeling elated, totally confident and determined. He’d told Bella to get herself sorted, but it no longer mattered what decision she’d arrived at, he planned to make her his. Again.
Always.
If necessary he would fight for her, make up for lost time. The long months and years in which he’d been silenced and hamstrung were behind him. Now he would show Bella Fairburn – by seduction or logic or by any combination of the above – that she belonged here in North Queensland. With him.
Nothing was going to stand in Gabe’s way.
Just the same, as he lifted the receiver and dialled the Mullinjim number, he was as nervous as a man facing a firing squad.
The phone rang and rang and he felt his heart thud harder and heavier with each ring. He wondered if Bella’s aunt would answer or Peter or Virginia. He’d heard from Roy that they were home too.
He imagined asking one of them, ‘Can I speak to Bella?’ Imagined her coming, perhaps uncertainly, to the phone . . .
He heard Virginia’s voice.
‘Hello, you’ve reached the Fairburns at Mullinjim, but I’m afraid we can’t take your call right now. Please leave your number and a message and we’ll get back to you as soon as we can.’
The diners were halfway through Zoe’s scrumptious trifle when Mac looked around with a huge smile. ‘Zoe and I have some very good news,’ he announced and that was all it took for the buzzing conversation to die.
Everyone around the table was instantly silent.
Bella, however, couldn’t contain herself. ‘You’re not?’
Zoe was grinning and blushing as her beaming husband slipped a proprietary arm around her shoulders.
She was. She was pregnant. Bella bit her lip to stop herself from yelling it out.
‘We’re pregnant!’ Zoe grinned broadly, and in the clamour that followed, Bella leapt from her seat.
‘I’m going to be an aunty. That’s just the most fabulous news!’ She hugged Zoe, thrilled that her guess had been right.
‘So when’s the baby due?’ asked Luke, who was also on his feet, pumping Mac’s hand and clinking his drink against his mate’s.
‘The beginning of June.’ Zoe rolled her eyes to the starry sky overhead. ‘Not great timing. Let’s hope Mac gets the mustering done first.’
‘Oh, don’t worry about that. We’ll help,’ Bella enthused. ‘We’ll work something out.’
Zoe’s eyes widened. ‘So you’ll still be here in June?’
Bella’s mouth hung open. How could she have made such a silly slip? In front of her entire family? ‘Maybe – although I – I’m not actually sure,’ she stammered uncomfortably. ‘I meant people around here will help in any way they can.’
‘Well, I couldn’t be happier.’ Her father’s deep voice boomed into the sudden, awkward silence. ‘I’m going to be a grandfather.’
He looked inordinately pleased and everyone around the table spontaneously cheered. Bella felt a surge of love for him. How wonderful it was for her dad to have Zoe and Mac living so close. For a heady moment Bella allowed herself a small fantasy, picturing a day in the future when she told him that she was pregnant too. She could even picture a poignant moment when she placed her firstborn in her dear old dad’s arms. Could any baby ever be blessed with a kinder, wiser, more loving grandfather?
His face was split by an enormous grin as he raised his glass of sparkling mineral water. ‘A new generation will be starting here, right next door to Mullinjim.’ His grey-green eyes were shining. ‘How lucky am I, coming home to news like that?’
36.
It was very cloudy next morning, which made a welcome change. The dawn sky was an angry red.
Bella saw the bright streaks of fire as she came back from delivering supplements to the cows and calves and she wondered if it was too soon to hope for rain.
She’d never been sure about the old saying – red sky at morning, sailor take warning – but she could certainly feel a change in the air. It seemed fitting, she thought, in line with all the other changes that were taking place at Mullinjim. Her father was home, her aunt was leaving and Zoe was having a baby . . .
I’m the only one standing still, uncertain and stupidly waiting. For what? A phone call from Gabe? A biblical sign? A bolt of lightning?
‘Did Luke get away okay?’ her mother asked as she arrived at the kitchen door.
‘Left about an hour ago. He’s certainly conscientious about this new job, isn’t he?’
Her mother nodded, but she seemed a bit distracted. ‘Have you seen your father?’
‘No. Has he gone out?’
‘He took off for a walk with Gus some time back.’
‘I haven’t seen him. I was expecting him to sleep in after last night.’
‘You know your dad. He’s always been an early riser. And I think last night’s dinner only made him more determined to get on with things. After his last turn, he started going for morning walks and they seemed to do him the world of good.’
Bella shrugged. ‘As long as he takes it easy.’
‘I’m holding breakfast. He should be back soon.’
‘What’s cooking?’ Bella crossed the kitchen and peered at the stove. ‘I know I shouldn’t be hungry after last night’s dinner.’
‘It’s just tomatoes and mushrooms.’ Her mother lifted the lid on the frying pan, releasing a tummy-tempting aroma as she gave its contents a stir. ‘Last night was lovely, wasn’t it? Zoe’s such a good cook and it was wonderful to have the whole family together.’
‘Fabulous. I’m so proud of you, Mum, the way you’ve welcomed Zoe.’
Her mother stared at her with evident surprise and went a little pink. ‘Thank you, darling. I always liked Zoe before I – I knew – and it all happened before I met Pete, so I couldn’t really hold a grudge.’
‘But you might have if you weren’t so nice.’ Bella smiled at her, but then she couldn’t help glancing quickly at the phone, hoping to see a message light. There wasn’t one, of course. ‘Pity Liz has to go back so soon.’
‘If I were Liz I’d be thinking about retirement.’ Her mother shot a guilty look over her shoulder as if she was worried she’d been overheard.
Bella pouted. ‘How can you retire from something you love?’
‘That’s a very good question, Bella. How can you?’
Bella snatched her gaze away. If anyone was going to put pressure on her to stay at Mullinjim, it would be her mum. ‘Can I set the table or something?’
‘Perhaps you could go and chase up your father. Tell him breakfast’s ready and waiting.’
‘Right.’ She was relieved to be outside again, away from that all-knowing, maternal gaze.
On the front steps she stood, shading her eye
s, looking out over the paddocks and down the track that led to the creek, searching for any sign of her dad or his dog. Perhaps he’d gone to visit Striker?
That made sense.
A gust of wind sent her hair flying as she set off for the stables. It was the first wind she’d felt in ages and a minute or two later it rattled the flimsy open door on the old ripple-iron shed that served as their stables.
This was where Sassy had once been housed, but it was best not to think about her.
Bella fancied she heard the phone ringing back at the house and her first thought, as always, was Gabe.
Damn it, she was such a fool.
Giving herself a mental shake, she went to the stable door and called, ‘You in there, Dad?’
There was no answer, but she heard Gus’s soft whine.
She went cold all over.
Gus was with her dad, surely?
Suddenly trembling with the worst kind of premonition, Bella forced her legs to move her forward, around bales of warm-scented hay stacked high to the roof, until she came into the centre of the shed.
She saw her dad, sitting on the floor next to Striker’s stall. His back was against the wall and his hat had fallen off. It was lying upside down on the straw-strewn concrete beside him. His head was slumped a little to one side. Gus lay with his blue speckled head in her father’s lap.
Icy dread filled Bella.
Her father looked so peaceful, looked for all the world as if he’d fallen asleep.
But the awful colour of his face told a very different story.
Terrified and sick, Bella forced her leaden feet to continue moving across the concrete floor. She tried to tell herself he was resting, having a little shut-eye, as he liked to call it.
‘Dad?’
He didn’t answer.
Panic strafed through her. White-hot and devastating. ‘Dad!’ she called again as she rushed to his side.
Oh, God.
Oh, God.
Oh, God. Please, no! This can’t happen.
Horrified and trembling, she knelt before her father. Gus lifted his head and looked up at her with pleading eyes. He gave another soft whine.
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