I also surprised them all that I suggested I be the one to take a nice drive through town. They assumed it would be Sam. The truth of the matter was that I didn’t want to go. I’d rather be safe. The problem was that I wasn’t very mechanically inclined where Sam was a savant about heavy equipment. He needed to handle diggers, the front end loaders, and the trenching equipment. What would take me hours, would probably take him minutes. And I also had no ability to repair the stuff quickly unlike him. What I didn’t say was that I was nice and calm dealing with stressful situations, and I was much better with weaponry than Sam. I’m the one that had to go. If I said that aloud, it might have slighted Sam. I couldn’t do that after what he’d been through.
The next morning we made damn sure there were no wandering boogie men out there ready to eat. We thoroughly checked the area, and then we brought out all the equipment one by one to the dig.
By the time we were done, we had to kill four of the nasties. They were starting to look a lot riper than the initial ones. I guess decomposition was beginning. I was hoping that it would go quicker so they could rid themselves of their curse without our help.
I gave my wife and kids a good kiss on the cheeks, shook the hands of the rest, and prepared to go. I was incredibly nervous. I hadn’t been outside in a long time, and I definitely didn’t want these things crawling all over me even with the armor. I hoped for the best but planned for the worst. I brought lots of food and drinks, two pistols, a 5.56 rifle with a Trijicon acog sight, and my trusted Benelli shotgun. I brought literally a thousand rounds of ammo for each of the weapons. I prepared for war. It was stupid of course to bring that much. If the worst case scenario occurred, there was no way to carry all that stuff without being slowed to a crawl. But it gave me a sense of comfort. Yeah I know. That was a crock of shit.
I slowly drove out the rear door after getting the ok from Jen. I made damn sure she locked the gate up before I went any further. I would have given her a horn beep if I wasn’t afraid a Zed would have heard it. Instead I squelched the Walkie-Talkie twice. This time I was using a real one and not the kids’ one.
I drove straight down the unpaved hill. It wasn’t too steep for an SUV or an ATV. For a car it would be iffy.
I drove forward down my driveway slowly because of my limited vision through the exterior armor. Just as I got on the main road, I felt a thump from the hood and immediately saw a deformed face three feet in front of me. It tried to put its decayed head through the shield. Its eyes bulged and gore dripped inside. It was truly disgusting. I had to get it off as quickly as possible. I floored the accelerator and shot forward. Then I braked all of a sudden. I felt I ran over something after a few seconds of movement. It felt large. It had to be a body, but I couldn’t be sure. I kept going with the thing still hanging on to the shield. I slammed on the brakes. It shot straight forward off the hood of the car. I floored it again and I ran the thing over with my large tires. I kept going without a second thought.
Looking around, I saw a few of those gross things making their way toward me as quickly as they could waddle. They wanted to play.
I sped up and drove away, leaving them and their friends in the dust. I drove around at speed for a little while trying not to attract too much attention. I wanted to give my people some time to get going before I turned on the speaker. I drove around in circles and saw no live humans around me. I hoped they were all in hiding. I hoped.
I started driving in loops around town just getting the lay of the land. It took on a much more surreal landscape inside this wood and steel box than when I drove it in my convertible. That was fun and care free. This was pure torture. Every so often, a Zed would fling himself at my car and try to hold on to greased metal. Most often they’d fail. Occasionally one would manage to hold on to something and get dragged on down the road until they were flung off into a parked car. The thuds of their soft bodies hitting very hard objects made me cringe and reminded me of several car accidents that I saw when I was a kid. It seemed like a lifetime ago.
I was sweating in this car because it was sealed up as tight as a drum. I turned the air conditioning on high and heard a god-awful whine come from under the hood. I flipped it off immediately in a blind panic. If the car shut down I was completely screwed. I resigned myself to sweating profusely. I took off my jacket which worked only a little.
After a couple hours of this, I looked around and saw hundreds of Zombies following and swarming me. I kept a steady speed of fifteen miles an hour. At this speed they couldn’t keep up with me, but that didn’t stop them from throwing themselves in front of me given the chance. I tried my damndest to block out the sound of crunching bones without success. At least they didn’t scream in pain like a real human. I couldn’t have handled that.
I picked up the radio and made a call to my people. My wife answered the radio which automatically relieved my stress a little. I was more nervous than I thought out here by myself.
“What’s up Hon?” I kept it light, like I wasn’t being followed by these nasties. I made myself smile at my stupidity. She could see right through me always.
“Oh, not much, how are you?” Jen answered me the same way. I guess two could play at this.
“I’m just going for a little ride in the country. Nothing else actually. I’m starting to get a little bored.” I then crashed full force into a female Zed. The car almost stopped because of the impact. I heard a crunch as she hit the pavement. I kept the accelerator depressed which was harder than it sounded. Usually a driver’s first reaction was to hit the brakes. I suppressed that feeling with difficulty. The car bounced me into the roof. My head hit the padding hard.
“I can see that clearly through my binoculars.” I heard stress in Jen’s voice. She was watching me from the house. I forgot about that. She could obviously see me being hunted by these goons. She must be worried sick about it.
I kept my voice pleasant like I did at work after I shook off the shock of my head bouncing off the interior of the car. I knew she wasn’t buying it. She could tell when I was bullshitting. “I’m just fine right now. The car is running better than I hoped. I was going to start on the other side of town and talk through the speaker. What do you think?” I was trying to get her to be part of the solution.
I heard nothing on the other side for a second. Then Sam got on the radio, “Ah, John, I’m not sure you’re going to make it to the other side of town. You have over a hundred Zombies following you. And in front of you, there’s a picket line forming of over a hundred. They’re coming at you on all sides.”
I sat up fully and brought my face up to the windshield. I saw at least a hundred of those things coming right at me for a frontal assault.
“Turn right now!” I heard it through the speaker. I turned right immediately. I saw an alley to the right. I floored it. The car lurched forward at 45 miles per hour straight into a Zed. He went right up and over the car. I heard a thud on the ground behind me. It made me cringe. I kept picturing me hitting pedestrians in video games. I realized that this was no fun. This was beginning to freak me out.
I sped up as much as I could handle. The problem was that I had almost no peripheral vision. I was getting afraid that I would hit one of them and wind up crashing into a garage. Then I was pretty much dead. I slowed down.
I came to a street and went right through without stopping. I was sweating profusely now. I couldn’t tell if it was because of fear or because of the heat in the car. It was probably both. I needed to seriously chill, or I was going to damage myself.
Five blocks later, I came to a corn field. The alley road just basically came to a halt. I turned right for no particular reason and hit a scarecrow some idiot had left in the field. It got stuck on my hood and became a permanent hood ornament. It seemed to be embedded no matter what I tried.
Finally, I just ignored it. I drove forward and came to the city line. If I went forward, I would be driving to the hospital about two miles up the road like I’ve done thousa
nds of times. I didn’t have time to see what a wreck that place must have become. I shuddered at the thought of all those sick people stuck in one place. I was sure they didn’t stand a chance against even one of those things. I felt momentarily guilty at the thought of abandoning them all to their fates. I put it out of my mind almost immediately. I didn’t have time to think about what might have been. I pulled some cold Diet Coke out of the cooler at my feet and drank half of it in one gulp. I must have been dehydrated. I finished it off and tossed the can in the back. I grabbed another one and put it in the cup holder for later. I ate a granola bar and called home.
“All right guys, I’m about to start working. Let me know if you see any of these things in my path. Right now I’m almost blind.”
Sam came on the radio. “I’ve got you in my sights good buddy. I’ll try to guide you around the Zeds. Stay alert for any sudden course corrections.”
I smiled to myself. The man was obviously enjoying himself. He managed to cheer me up for a second. I just hoped they were all pretty much done. I doubted it though. It had only been an hour so far. I think this was going to take all day.
I turned on the tape. It broadcast over the speaker on the roof of the car. I flipped it all the way to maximum.
“You are not alone! We have a small group of survivors with plenty of food, ammo, and shelter at the top of the hill. The area is fenced off from the Zombies. Come join us! We will protect you and your families. Turn to channel 7 on the radio. You are not alone!”
The recording kept repeating. I hoped everyone left alive heard it. I hoped there were people still alive to hear it.
The entire world had gone nuts. I hoped that there were people in hiding inside their homes just waiting for salvation. I had no idea. I couldn’t see any movement except from the undead.
“Turn right at the next block.” It was Sam on the radio. At least he was still with me.
I turned right. The radio came through the speaker loud and clear. It was already starting to aggravate me. Everything was annoying me. This sucked. It was a lot less fun than I thought it would be before I left the compound.
I picked up the radio. “How’s everything going?”
Jen came on the radio. “We’re all done digging the trench. We’ve already lined the pit with pallets. Now we’re just moving bodies. This is beyond gross. The older bodies are coming apart.” I heard her wretch.
I remembered vividly how disgusting a job that was. I couldn’t believe that it was only a short while ago that I did it by myself. At least they had a team to help.
Jen came back online. “Sorry, I couldn’t help myself.” I heard a gunshot ring out through the radio.
“What the Hell was that?” I got very nervous for her.
“Oh, that. Every so often, one of the Zeds walks up here looking for food and we have to put him down.”
I heard another shot. My nerves were already shot, and now my wife was in the firing line on the wrong side of the fence. I put the pedal to the floor and lurched forward to get back home and protect her. After three seconds I came to my senses and went back to just driving around town on a leisurely afternoon drive. I remembered that I was doing her far more good out here acting as a decoy for them. I’m sure the speaker above my head was drawing them to me like a moth to the flame. Too bad I couldn’t see them unless they were right in front of me.
“Turn left at the light.” The instruction came through the radio nice and clear. I saw the non-functional light and turned right into a walking dead. He crashed right into my scarecrow hood ornament and took it right down with him as he fell under my car. At least now my view was open again.
I drove down the street slowly but surely bypassing the two cars that were abandoned in front of the deli. I avoided looking at the bodies in the cars. I didn’t want to know if they died from dehydration or from...other means.
I kept turning again and again and followed the directions to the letter. I would speed up and slow down and avoid barriers again and again.
After three hours of this, I started to get bored. I must have hit the entire town twice over without so much as a peep from any live people. I probably mowed down a good two dozen of the Zeds during this time.
“All right John, we did a little extra work to the house because you were doing so well. Hopefully, we made the place airtight. Now we gotta get you home. We’ll direct you back here ASAP”
I knew that I was about two miles from home. I hoped it would be clear sailing all the way.
“I want you to turn around and head away from town.” Sam sounded cheerful at that.
His voice made me want to punch him as hard as I could. Why on Earth would he want me to go the other way?
I got on the radio, “Would you repeat that?” I was very tense at that. I was about to explode which wasn’t a good thing. It took a lot to get me mad, but when I did I wanted to make somebody bleed.
“I heard a chuckle on the other end. “Don’t worry John. We have your back. It’s just that you have about four hundred of those things coming up you backside, and we don’t want them following you home.”
I really panicked at that. How the fuck did I wind up with so many of them? I turned to look around and saw a couple following me through the small port hole. I couldn’t make out any more. I started to hyperventilate. I hit the gas pedal and took off at 65 miles per hour.
“Slow down John, we want them to follow you.” I immediately slowed down. He was right. I needed to get a hold of myself. I took a deep breath and forced myself to calm down. After a minute I was back to my old self.
“What do you want me to do?” The tension never left my voice however. This was absolutely nerve racking. Thank God I wasn’t doing this alone like everyone else in the world.
I headed out of town at a steady rate of twenty miles per hour. I kept my eyes staring straight ahead. I wanted to shut off the annoying recording above my head.
“Slow down John, these things need to follow you, remember.”
I slammed on the brakes in annoyment. I crossed my arms, and I sulked angrily at this stupidity. I waited for thirty seconds staring at the steering wheel, and then I felt a couple of bumps to the rear of the car.
“Go! Take off! Now!” Sam screamed at me.
I drove forward quickly. My rest was over. I kept it at a steady ten miles an hour. It was very slow for me. I wanted to zip away as quickly as possible. I gripped the wheel tightly at ten and two. Sweat was pouring off my face.
“All right, you’re doing this perfectly. They’re all following you! That’s great!” Sam was so happy.
I was beyond fucking pissed. I couldn’t believe that I had been stupid enough to set myself up this way. I was the sacrificial goat, and it was all my fault. So much for my education. I was a dumbass. I kept yelling at myself in my own head. I couldn’t believe that I had asked for this nonsense.
I kept this up for the next hour. I had a running dialogue in my own head telling myself what an idiot I was. I knew none of it was true, but the fear of getting mauled overcame my own rationality.
“All right, slow down.” Sam was being gentle.
I wanted to swear at him. I knew he was right, but I really didn’t want those things to catch up to me. I did what I was told.
“That’s just great. They’re all following you like the Pied Piper.” Sam was excited. “Could you just lead those things over to the next city, please?” He was kidding.
I sulked and didn’t say anything. I leaned forward to look out the window port of the windshield. I saw a couple of walking dead bodies lumbering toward me. I felt particularly malicious just then. I sped up right toward them and ran them over with my truck. It felt good until I felt the crunch under my rear tires. I immediately blushed at my own stupidity for ‘getting even.’ I could have destroyed my car and that would have been it. All it would take was a broken bone to take out one of my tires.
“Turn right at the next block and then left at the next intersec
tion.” Sam really was sending me out of town.
I got on the radio. “I thought you were kidding about sending me out of town.”
Sam said, “No we’re serious. We’re hoping they follow you. We’re sending you out about five miles, and then we’re having you haul ass on a parallel road all the way home. We want you to go about 60 mph all the way here and lose them in the dust. Wisconsin Avenue is open all the way to your front door. We hope to lose those things in the confusion. At least that’s the plan.” I heard silence.
I had to admit that the man was probably right. Not that I liked it in the least. “That seems like a pretty good plan. Glad to see you guys came up with it on your own.” I was pleased at the fact that they were coming out of their funk.
“Actually, your wife came up with it. She felt you wouldn’t mind being out there on your own for a little while longer while we tidied up over here.” Sam sounded pleased at this.
I thought to myself, ‘it was very nice of her to put my life on the line.’ Then I felt guilty for it. She knew I dug this kind of stuff. She must have thought that I wouldn’t mind. She didn’t realize that my brain was rebelling at everything right now. I just wanted to go home and be safe.
I drove in silence. I was staring at everything through my little porthole trying to make sense of my surroundings through my little view of the world. I got bored with that too. I started playing with the buttons on the dash and tried to tune out the overhead speaker. It was monotonous and boring. I had gone from anger to despair to depression and now to reluctant acceptance. It was the quickest I ever heard of anyone going through the stages of grief that I had ever witnessed. That cheered me up. I was again the best and quickest at something. I liked that. It didn’t help the boredom for long.
My Last Testament Page 15