Sam said, “At about the two block mark I want you to stop and take cover. We have about ten Zeds walking around up here. We haven’t blown them away yet, because we’re waiting for you to get closer. We don’t want to draw any more unfriendlies up here with the noise until you can slip in unmolested.”
I was pleased at that. “Roger, out.”
We continued up the road without finding any more Zeds. When we finally reached our destination I stopped. We stayed with our backs to the final building before my driveway. We didn’t have to wait long. I saw the front gate open. Sam and two others came out with their pistols drawn. I saw them shooting at targets. I counted fourteen rounds spent. Then I heard silence.
“All right guys come on up.” Sam was ready for us.
We moved forward without a problem until we made it to the base of the driveway. There was a Zed tangled in the thick thorn bushes at the base of my property. He didn’t seem to be able to find his way out. I raised the shotgun to finish him off.
“Please let me do it. I’ve always wanted to try.” Marjorie took the pistol from Peg and moved forward. She aimed at its forehead and pulled the trigger. It stopped moving immediately as it was now missing the top of its head. She smiled.
“You’re right Peggy. It’s just not that hard to do.” She kept the weapon.
“Good job Marjorie. But I would definitely take your finger off the trigger. I don’t want the pistol going off accidentally.” I moved forward and showed her. “Trigger finger forward and not within the guard until you’re good and ready to shoot.” She seemed happy with the advice. Her finger stayed off the guard.
We walked up the drive. I was getting very tired. It had been a long day. About halfway up I was met by Sam and Jen. My wife gave me quite the smooch. I really liked that.
“Damnit John, we promised you a threesome! No way we’re going to share you!” Peggy cackled.
I saw my wife redden at the thought. Then she looked over and saw their age. She laughed too. These ladies were a hoot.
Sam grabbed my bag off my shoulders. “Woof. You carrying rocks?” He struggled to put it on his back and gave up. He carried it at the end of his arm.
I introduced the ladies who were very gracious about coming into our home.
Jen held my hand after I shouldered my shotgun. We walked up the drive to their new construction project. I looked at it carefully. It looked great.
On both sides of the driveway, there were two very long smooth pits. They extended at least two hundred feet in both directions. The walls were smooth and ten feet high. Right now the right one had flames shooting out of it with thick greasy smoke exuding out of it and climbing up toward the sky. It smelled absolutely terrible. I saw the ladies covering their mouths out of the corner of my eye.
I led them away. I’d come back and see what my family had accomplished.
We walked into the front gate and resealed the door. I looked down at the town under me. It seemed completely deserted. For the first time, I couldn’t see anyone walking around. I was simultaneously happy and sad. The place had become a ghost town.
I looked at the ladies. “I’m very sorry about this, but we’re going to need you to strip. We’re going to make sure you haven’t been bitten.” I felt guilty about this but we couldn’t take any chances.
“Oh don’t worry Sir John, we like taking off our clothes. We promise to make it a habit.” They both cackled hysterically. They cracked themselves up.
I walked away before I could find out if they were serious. I shook my head and giggled at the thought. They were unbelievable.
Sam walked up to me. “We’re going to get company. I’ve already had a good dozen people call us on the radio. We’re expanding soon. What do we do with all the people?”
I walked into the house. Right now, I had no idea.
Chapter 9
I was flipping tired. I’d had it with this crap. I’d been out doing my job on the edge of madness, and now all I wanted to was sleep. So sorry, none of that for me. Too eff’n bad. I was getting grumpy. I really stopped liking any of this stuff a couple of days back. It was getting old for me. I just wanted to bury my head in the sand and go to sleep. I wanted to wake up refreshed, perform an arterial bypass or two, and come home to a nice quiet dinner with my family. I wanted to study and play ball with my kids. So sorry, none of that for you either. Have I mentioned I was tired?
“We’ve got company.” We always had company nowadays. Sam walked up to me as I was eating my third peanut butter and jelly sandwich. I was losing weight despite the fact that I was eating like a pig. I hoped it was just stress weight loss and not cancer because I would be hard pressed to find some chemo right now. I laughed at my stupidity. He thought I was laughing at him.
I changed the subject. “How are you feeling Sam?”
He looked at me funny. “I’m doing fine. How are you?” He was trying to figure out if I was serious or not and failing badly at it.
I sighed loudly. What happened to people’s sense of humor over the past month? Or maybe it was my sense of humor that was gone? Either way, things just stopped being funny.
I shook my head and walked outside with him. It wasn’t worth the effort to explain myself over this. We looked over and found an elderly couple being strip searched. They had to be in their seventies. That’s what we’d become. We were now the local TSA.
I let my people take care of them and walked to the gate. I didn’t want to deal with that either. Then I had a scary thought. For a second I was worried that we would start getting all the invalids who couldn’t or wouldn’t fight back- and that we would be stuck taking care of them. It was unfair of me to think that, but so the fuck what? I was turning into a real asshole. I needed to keep that well hidden to prevent my people seeing my new true nature. It was the last thing they needed to see.
I grabbed the binoculars and saw a nice car, a new black BMW, coming right at us. They were moving very quickly, kicking out dust from the driveway. The car looked brand new.
It pulled up to the gate and the window rolled down smoothly and silently. The smoke from the burning debris of humanity wrapped around the car and gave it a surreal special effects quality.
A head popped out of the window. “Jesus John, your place stinks to high Heaven. What is that God awful reek?” It was my old friend Jack Monroe. I smiled happily for the first time in quite a while. His ugly face actually made me happy.
“Well, are you going to let us in?” I heard him say ‘us’, and I visibly cringed when I remembered Rita, his bitch of a wife. God I hated that piece of silicone.
He saw the look on my face and reddened. I saw that he became extremely nervous, thinking that I wasn’t going to let him in to his only chance of safety. Truthfully, I considered it for a moment and weighed the option of leaving her outside to fend for herself. I couldn’t go through with it. The last vestige of my humanity would have left me right then and there.
I opened the gate and stepped out. I walked up to his window and pulled out my pistol. I aimed it right at his head. He thought I was going to pull the trigger and end him. I saw the look of terror on his face. He thought I was going to go through with it for a split second.
“Jack, sorry about this. We can’t afford to let even one of those things in here. We need you guys to get out of the car and get naked. We need to make sure that you haven’t been bitten.” I shrugged. Rules were rules. I kept my expression neutral. That scared him even more. Crazy people he could deal with I guess.
He got out of the car quickly. “Are you serious? My word means nothing to you?” He seemed hurt.
I couldn’t care any less about his feelings if I tried. I waved him inside. He went quietly.
I bent down and looked through the window. Lovely Rita was inside looking straight forward. She did not care to meet my gaze. It actually made me happy. She ignored me and looked straight forward. I realized it wasn’t her idea to be here. I ignored her right back.
“
Girls, my kids are dying to see you! Welcome to your new home!” I was looking at their children in the back seat. They really were beautiful well behaved kids whom I liked very much. They didn’t deserve their mother. They brightened at my demeanor immediately. They must have been scared shitless, deservedly.
They got out of the car. I gave the girls hugs and led them to the others. I’m sure the ladies of our group would treat them with dignity and respect.
I watched them go in through the gate happily. They were about to start a new life and were excited. I saw Jack naked just inside the gate putting on his clothes. He smiled at the sight of his daughters as he covered himself. He relaxed at their smiles. He realized it was going to be just fine.
Now for Rita. I bent down and looked through the open window. She still stared straight ahead. “You have two choices. You can get with the program, behave yourself, submit to the search, and become a part of our little community, or you can get the fuck out of here on your own. I hope you have been fully trained to fight and survive these monsters.” She really didn’t have any options. We both knew that. Driving around looking for another safe house would result in her being eaten. I was fine with that. She sensed that too.
I saw her face harden. She was about to say something angry and stupid the way she was used to for her entire life. Then the look left her face. She was out of options and she knew it. I’d won. I didn’t hate her any less for it.
She got out of her car and walked straight to the gate. She ignored me completely, preferring not to acknowledge my existence. Maybe, the day was turning for the better, and she would do that forever. Nah, I couldn’t be that lucky.
I watched her enter and move to the screening area. She walked in like she lived there. She didn’t lack for confidence that was for sure. She was really hot though. Too bad she was so evil. Oh well. I saw her walk to the searchers and take off all her clothes without being asked. They checked her quickly and were done. It was over.
I got in the car and drove it inside the compound. This one we would keep. I think we needed to park the old beaters down the street and just leave them for the future. The good quality cars we needed to keep handy.
I saw five more cars coming at us up the driveway. Wow. The plan worked better than I thought. Now we needed to find a place for all these people. Food we had, safety we had, beds not so much. We would have to think of something. Hopefully, they all brought clothes and sleeping bags.
I grabbed the binoculars and stared off into the distance at a cloud of smoke coming off the road. It had to be ten miles away. I wondered for a second what was on fire.
I looked ever closer. It was just dust and not flames. Then I saw Zeds moving back into the city toward us. There had to be over a thousand of them swarming in unison. Maybe there were two thousand. Who knew? I couldn’t count through the dust at this range. They were slowly moving with their weird ataxic way of falling/walking forward. They looked like they all had strokes and had escaped from a nursing home. I was glad I wasn’t able to make out their gory facial features. This was very bad. I hoped they didn’t come across any humans right now. There would be no way to run away from the sheer mass of Zombie flesh. Holy shit.
I pulled out my radio and depressed the button. My people all gathered around and looked where I pointed. The blood promptly left their faces. They all realized that the mass numbers had been gathered by my slow trek through town. They were all coming back.
“Attention, everybody on this frequency. The Zeds are massing and are coming right for the town. You have no time to spare. You must seek safety immediately! You are welcome in our home. If you choose to stay where you are, you will die. Seek our shelter immediately!” I repeated it five more times.
I handed it to one of our new ladies. “Transmit that message to every channel. The people of this town have to know what’s coming.” I walked away. We had to batten down the hatches. We were about to go to war. There was no doubt in my mind that they would eventually find their way here. We were too tempting a target for them. All humans were.
I saw another five cars coming for us. I was tempted to think that people were responding, but it was just too soon. I prayed in my head that those people would listen.
I felt like shit. My little jaunt through town had succeeded in coalescing all the Zeds in town into one huge blitzkrieg-like mass of flesh. It was the exact opposite of what I had initially had in mind. It was a screw up of enormous proportions.
As the mob returned, nobody out there would stand a chance. There were just too many of them. I grabbed three of the stronger males and went inside to the armory. We pulled out virtually all our weapons and ammo. We would need them soon. It was time to make a stand.
We came out and loaded the wheelbarrows with ammunition. It would be a central spot for reloading. In addition, we loaded every magazine for every gun that we could find.
We also pulled out all our clubs, bats, swords, machetes, and everything else we could find that we could use to bash the brains in of any threat that got inside our little city. I was beyond nervous for our kids. They would have to stay inside, but I couldn’t afford to leave them defenseless. I gave them all bats and clubs with the instructions to defend themselves. The kids turned a milky white. I hated doing that to their poor little psyches, but at this point there was no way around it. The kids had to be prepared.
I gave each and every one of them hugs and kisses, and then I sealed the hurricane shutters down on the house. I locked down the house except for the back door. We were only going to use that door until the threat was completely over. I looked up at the balconies. They would be very useful if it came down to having the Zeds invading our property. We would have to shoot down from up top. Yes, very useful.
I went to the front gate where there were three cars waiting to get in. My people were doing a fine job getting them in and processing them quickly. I looked over, and I saw Sam instructing people in the fine art of clubbing Zeds upside the head. He was having people practicing for the assault. I hoped it wasn’t too late.
My people looked tense, rightly so. The shit was about to hit the fan.
I walked to the gate where my wife was standing, looking out into the distance. Jen shook her head at me. She was near panic. I smiled confidently which did nothing to reassure her.
“Jen, I fully prepared for this, remember? I spent over a month getting all our stuff, our gear, all our people ready. We will succeed and do fine. Of that I have no doubt.” She looked away. She didn’t believe a word I was saying. Right now, neither did I.
I took the binoculars from her and looked down the hill. Now, around the middle of the town, I saw several thousand Zeds walking together en masse. They were moving faster than I thought. They looked like a parade coming right at us. In front of them I saw several cars speeding away. At least a few more people came to their senses. I wondered if there was anyone else left alive behind them.
At the speed they were moving toward us, the Zeds would hit us in about three hours. Hopefully, they got distracted and moved in another direction before that happened, but I seriously doubted that would happen. There was a steady stream of cars and trucks heading uphill toward us and safety. The Zombies would just follow them right to us. I felt a momentary pang of incompetence and put it right out of my mind. I didn’t have time to second guess myself. There would be plenty of time for that later when all was said and done.
I looked at the fires burning in front of us. Smoke was wafting higher and higher as the diseased bodies were burned along with the wood. I got an idea.
I walked through the open gate and moved toward the fire pits. There was enough space between them to drive three cars through side by side. I would have to fix that.
I looked around at the cars that were now littering the front of my property. Several were old beaters that were practically useless to anyone. I would need to use them.
I went to get in one. The thing smelled like shit. I saw candy wrappers, an o
ld guitar, and used Kleenex everywhere. It was truly disgusting. I wondered briefly who came in that vehicle and hoped they weren’t as disgusting in my house.
It didn’t much matter what the car looked like. I had uses for it. But there was no way in Hell I was sitting my ass inside of it. I put it in neutral and pushed. It rolled easily. I rolled it toward the front gate as I turned the wheel. One of my guys came up behind the car and helped me push. It made things easier. I said thank you and wondered what the guy’s name was. I had never seen him before today.
I pushed the car out the front gate and down the drive. It picked up speed and started to get out of control. I had no choice if I wanted it to stop. I hopped into the dirty seat with my clean butt and applied the brakes. When it rolled next to the left fire pit, I stopped and put on the emergency brakes. I had to get out the passenger door to keep from falling into the pit.
We ran back in as another family pulled up to the gate. I let my people handle it again. I was actually pleased to see three more cars coming to us. We were going to get very crowded.
I repeated the process with an old pickup. It had a good dozen tires in the back which gave me an idea. We pushed the car outside and repeated the process on the other side. We now had a funnel to force the Zombies through when they finally arrived. I pulled four of the tires out of the pickup and put them in the other car. One of the tires went inside. I grabbed a five gallon gas can and upended it all over the tires. When it was time, I would light the vehicles on fire. Hopefully I would create Zombie flambé.
This gave me an idea. I had a few minutes, so what the Hell!
I moved to my old SUV that I kept around just in case. It ran which was pretty much all I needed. It was a crappy blue Bronco from the early nineties with a snow plow on it. It would come in handy.
I had a good dozen propane tanks that I bought just in case the main one ran out of fuel. I slipped them all into the front and back seats. I grabbed the five gallon gas tanks and filled them up with gasoline. I put four of them in the back. Then for good measure I strapped five of them to the roof. On top of them I put bales of hay along with any spare strips of metal I could find that basically no longer held any purpose. I turned the SUV into a rolling suicide bomb. I drove it toward the back gate and locked it up. I prayed that I didn’t need it.
My Last Testament Page 17