Rhett

by J. S. Cooper

  “Breakfast has been good so far.” She licked her lips and reached for my arm. I stared at her in distaste and pulled away from her. Looking at her face turned me off. Didn’t she realize that I’d been thinking of someone else while she’d been under the table? “I think I’m going to have an omelette for a second course.” She shifted in her seat. “Then maybe we can go to your place and you can have dessert.” She grabbed my hand and put it between her legs. “I’m ready to see if your tongue can work as hard as mine.”

  “Yeah, about that.” I smiled down at her and jumped up. I pulled a couple of twenties out of my pocket and flung them on the table. “I just remembered something. I gotta go, but here’s money for breakfast and lunch. I’ll call you.” I looked at her hurt expression and gave her another quick smile. “See ya.” I hurried out of the restaurant quickly and jumped into my car, feeling slightly disgusted at myself.

  “Get your shit together, Rhett.” I grunted at myself as I started the engine of my Mustang and pulled out of the parking lot. I was seriously losing my mind and I didn’t know what to do about it. I decided to go to the frat house that Tomas belonged to and see what was going on with the guys. I knew that I needed to occupy my mind. I didn’t want to think about what any of the craziness of the morning meant.

  ***

  I went to bed and tried to sleep pretty early that night. I didn’t want to go on any dates and I didn’t want to talk to anyone. I’d nearly gotten into a fight at the frat house when one of the guys had started talking about Clementine and how he’d like to fuck her at a party. Tomas had had to restrain me as I’d grabbed the guy’s shirt collar. I knew I was losing my mind, but I didn’t know why. It didn’t help that Lily had sent me a hurt text message asking me if I was mad at her and if I had lost respect for her. I wasn’t sure what she wanted me to say. I wanted to ask her if she had respect for herself, but I didn’t care enough to get into any long conversation with her. I mean, what did she really think? I sighed and grabbed my phone as I realized I wasn’t going to get to sleep anytime soon. I automatically called Clementine to see what she was up to, but she didn’t answer. I lay there for a few seconds waiting for her to call me back, but when she didn’t I sent her a text message instead.

  "What you doing?"

  "Trying to sleep," she texted me back immediately.

  "I tried to call you."

  "I'm in bed."

  "So you can't talk?"

  "What do you want, Rhett?"

  ":("

  "Not going to work."

  ":( with tears."

  "That's pitiful. Haha."

  "Are you laughing at the fact that I'm crying?"

  "Rhett Madison, you're not crying. Smh."

  "Call me."

  "Tomorrow! :)"

  "Want to go to breakfast?"

  "No."

  "What do you mean, no?" I frowned at the phone. Clementine never said no to breakfast.

  "I'm on a diet. :)"

  "What? Why?"

  "I have a date next week."

  I dropped the phone on my bed in shock. Clemmie had a date? I frowned. Was she joking? Who could she have a date with? She hadn't had a date in months. The beep of the phone distracted me from my thoughts. I grabbed it hoping to see the words ‘joke’ or ‘psych’. Instead I saw, "Did I shock you?"

  "Who's the date with? Do I know him?" I waited for what seemed like forever for her to respond.

  "You don't know him," she finally responded.

  "How did you meet him?" My fingers tapped against the phone as I waited for her to answer. “And why didn’t you tell me about this date last night?”

  "Damn it, Clemmie." I muttered under my breath and called her again. "Pick up the damn phone." I growled as the phone continued ringing.

  "Why are you calling me again?" She answered the phone sleepily and I exhaled.

  "Why didn't you pick up the phone?" I lay back in my bed, finally relaxed.

  "Because I'm about to go to sleep. I need eight hours a night, you know."

  "You never needed eight hours before."

  "It's part of my new beauty regime."

  "You don't need a regime," I sighed, starting to feel agitated again. "Who is this idiot you're going on a date with, anyway?"

  She sighed and I waited impatiently for her to answer me.

  "Clemmie?"

  "It's a guy I met online,"

  "Online where?" I frowned.

  "On a dating site," she whispered.

  "A dating site?" I exclaimed, shocked. "Why are you on a dating site?" I was pissed that she hadn’t even told me that she was thinking of joining a dating site. Why the fuck was she on a dating site?

  "To meet a guy, duh." She said sarcastically and I half-smiled at her tone. I knew she was making a face into the phone.

  "Why are you trying to meet a guy online?" I asked again, letting my annoyance show. I hadn’t even realized that she was seriously interested in dating. I thought she was just concerned about her studies.

  "Because I don't meet any winners in real life."

  "True, I'm the only winner you know." I joked.

  "Real modest, Rhett."

  "What?" I laughed. "It's true."

  "Anyway, I need to go to sleep now, so I can look fresh for my date tomorrow."

  "Is your date in the morning?" I didn't want to hang up, not now that I had finally gotten her on the phone. And I wanted to know more about her online dating. Had she met anyone already? What exactly was she looking for?

  "No."

  "So, uh, what does it matter what time you go to bed?" I said feeling annoyed.

  "Because I have a lot to do." She sounded annoyed as I rolled over on my side.

  "Like what?"

  "Like I need to get a new outfit and I need a new haircut."

  "Haircut?" I frowned as I pictured her long chestnut brown locks. "You can't cut your hair."

  "Actually, I think I can."

  "Let me come with you tomorrow. I'll help you choose an outfit and I want to see your haircut."

  "You, help shopping?"

  "I want to come help my best friend. Can't I do that?"

  "You just want to be an ass." She groaned.

  "No I don't. Let me come."

  "Don't you have to work?"

  "That's the great thing about being the boss’s son. I can take off when there's an emergency."

  "There is no emergency."

  "I'm coming, Clementine."

  "Oh, thank you, Mr. Madison!" she exclaimed in a sing-song voice. "I'm so thankful for your help."

  "As you should be." I laughed. "And who knows, maybe I'll take you to dinner tomorrow night."

  "I told you, I have a date."

  "Well, maybe you'll come to your senses."

  "I'm allowed to date, Rhett."

  "I know that, but a loser you met online?" I made a face. "Does Nanna know?"

  "Of course not," she sighed. "No one in my family knows."

  "Okay." I said simply. Nanna was Clementine’s grandma, but we both called her Nanna. She felt like my real grandma and had always treated me as her grandson since I had met her as a little kid.

  "By the way, Nanna asked me if you can come to the family BBQ in two weeks."

  "Well, duh," I laughed.

  "She also said to tell you that you can bring your girlfriend."

  "What girlfriend?" I groaned. "Clemmie, you know that I don't do girlfriends. I don't want a relationship."

  "Don't you ever want to get married or have kids?"

  "Kids, ugh. And marriage? Why?"

  "For true love? For companionship?"

  "I don't believe in true love and I have you for companionship."

  "But what about the other stuff?" Her voice sounded embarrassed.

  "You mean sex?" I laughed and adjusted myself. "Are we going to talk about sex now?" My voice was light, but I was uncomfortable. Part of me wanted to tell her what had happened this morning, but I knew that there was no way she’d un
derstand. I didn’t even understand.

  "Whatever, Rhett." She sighed. "Have sex with nameless women and just continue being a player."

  "Thank you, I will." I snapped back at her.

  "Why did you call me, Rhett?" She sounded annoyed.

  "I wanted to talk. Or is that a no-no now you're dating online?"

  "It's midnight."

  "Would you rather I say this is a booty call?" I asked, half-joking.

  "Rhett!"

  "What?" I laughed.

  "I'm going to bed now."

  "No phone sex?"

  "You're gross."

  "I'm touching myself now." I muttered into the phone, while I adjusted myself.

  "Rhett!" She gasped. "I'm warning you."

  "I'm joking," I laughed. "I'll see you tomorrow."

  "Fine. Bye," she hung up and I closed my eyes. My hands reached into my boxers and I started jerking off. I imagined myself in a dark club fucking some nameless girl on the dance floor. I could feel myself growing harder and harder and as I came Clementine’s face popped into my head. I grabbed the small towel at the side of the bed and cleaned up. I lay back down and frowned. I didn’t want to think about picturing Clementine as the girl at the club. I needed to think about something else. I sighed as I thought about her going on a date. I was worried about Clementine. She was too nice a girl to be dating online. Those guys were going to eat her alive. I was going to have to make sure that she wasn't taken advantage of. I was just going to have to figure out how.

  ***

  I woke up the next morning feeling annoyed and I didn't know why. I jumped in the shower and then headed out to pick Clementine up. I honked on the horn instead of getting out and going to the door, and waited.

  "What the fuck!" I grumbled to myself as I realized I'd been waiting at least fifteen minutes. I pressed my hand against the steering wheel and honked again.

  My phone beeped and I saw a text from Clementine. “Yes, Rhett?”

  "If you know I'm outside, why don't you hurry your ass up?"

  "I'm waiting for you to come to my door like a gentleman," she texted back and I glared at the phone. I swore she thought we lived back in the fifties and hadn't gotten the note that men didn't have to woo women anymore. Especially not guys like me.

  "Do you really expect me to come to the door?"

  "If this was a date, wouldn't you be on your best behavior?" She was right, of course. Both of us had gone to etiquette and then cotillion classes. We knew what was expected of fine young southerners, but I just wasn't in the mood.

  "This isn't a date."

  "I'll be waiting inside until you show your manners," she replied, and I could see the smug smile on her face in my head. Clementine O’Hara was loving every second of this conversation.

  "I swear I'm going to drop that girl and get a new best friend," I sighed as I stepped out of my black Mustang.

  "Clementine!" I shouted as I knocked on the front door.

  "Oh, hi, Rhett." She opened the door slowly and grinned at me. "Imagine seeing you here."

  "I've been waiting in the car for the last 30 minutes." I glared at her and she laughed.

  "Don't exaggerate." She walked out of the door. "Let's go eat. I'm starved."

  "What about your whole weight-loss thing to impress this guy?" I looked at her for a few seconds as we walked if the car. "I thought you didn't wanna go on your date looking like a fatass."

  "Are you saying that breakfast is going to make me a fatass?" She paused and looked at me.

  "If you're going to get pancakes, eggs, bacon, sausage, toast, and hashbrowns like you normally do, then yes." I winked at her and she laughed.

  "You're so rude, Rhett."

  "That's why I don't have a girlfriend." I grinned as we got into the car.

  "Yeah, that's why." She poked me in the ribs. "You're not all skin and bones yourself."

  "Hey, we can be fatties together."

  "You're a jerk." She turned away from me and looked out of the window.

  "You're not seriously mad at me, are you?" I sighed as I stared at the side of her face. "I was just joking."

  "Uh huh," she retorted and I froze, not sure what to say. Clementine was so sensitive these days. It was like she had lost her sense of humor about certain things.

  "I don't really think you're a fatass, Clemmie."

  "Uh huh." She still didn't look at me.

  "I was just joking about the amount of food you eat." I reached out and touched her shoulder. "Don't be mad."

  "I'm so angry." She started and then looked at me with twitching lips. "I'm going to..." She started again but started giggling.

  "What?" I frowned as I watched her laughing.

  "Gotcha." She made a face at me and continued laughing.

  "Don't do that, Clemmie." I groaned. "I thought you were seriously upset."

  "That's what you get for being an asshole."

  "Hey, I don't mind that you've got a little extra weight." I winked at her. "And neither will other guys. It's just more cushion for the pushing."

  "Rhett." She shook her head as she buckled her seatbelt. "You're gross."

  "I'm a man, baby. Trust me. A little extra meat is much better than skin and bones."

  "So why are all your dates’ skinny as models?" She pursed her lips at me.

  "No, they're not."

  "Yes they are. I haven't seen an extra inch on any of them."

  "Well maybe that's why it's never worked out before. I need to find me a big-boned lady." I laughed at Clementine’s expression.

  "Now I'm big-boned," she shook her head and rolled her eyes as I started the engine.

  "You're perfect." I looked over and her and spoke honestly. "You don't need to change a thing."

  "Uh huh." She turned on the radio. "You're such a liar."

  "There is nothing I’d change about you." I spoke softly and I knew she didn't believe me, but my words were completely true. Clementine was my best friend and I wouldn't change a thing about her.

  "Let's just talk about something else." She rolled her eyes and I knew she was a bit peeved.

  "You're not seriously mad, are you?"

  "When do I ever stay mad at you, Rhett Madison?" She raised an eyebrow at me. "No matter how obnoxious you get, I always forgive you."

  "Obnoxious? Me?" I joked and we both laughed. "So tell me about this mystery guy."

  "I'll show you his profile." She exclaimed excited. "Well, maybe I'll show you when we get to the restaurant." She laughed.

  "Okay..." I paused and have her a quick look. "So his name is? How old is he? Etc.?"

  "His name is Elliott and he's the same age as us."

  "So he's 21."

  "That's the same age we were the last time I checked."

  "What is he, some kind of loser?" I made a face. "Why is a 21-year-old guy looking for a girl online?"

  "I guess he's a loser like me, then," she said tartly, and I felt my face growing warm. I'd putmy foot in it again.

  "My bad, Clemmie. That's not what I meant." I made a face. "So tell me more about this idiot."

  "His name is Elliott, Rhett."

  "Yeah, yeah."

  "He likes to bird watch."

  "Boring." I yawned.

  "It could be fun." She came to his defense. "Plus that means he likes nature and silence."

  "Clementine, you chat a mile a minute and you're not really a nature girl."

  "I like camping," she protested.

  "Clemmie, the last time we went camping with Jake, you complained the whole time about bugs and being scared a bear was going to come get us."

  "I was just joking." She made a face at me. "Anyway, I can grow to love it."

  "So tell me more about Mr. Country."

  "He's not Mr. Country, city-slicker Rhett." She groaned.

  "He lives in South Carolina and likes to bird watch. Trust me, he's country. Does he catch gators too?" I looked at her face flashing red and started laughing. "Oh my god, he does, doesn't
he? He catches gators too. Does he ride?"

  "We ride, Rhett." She glared at me. "And the last thing I knew we both live in South Carolina as well. In fact, I kinda remember seeing some cowboy boots in your closet and a big ol’ pickup in your garage."

  "That's cool country." I shrugged. "He's hick country."

  "You're a snob."

  "I'm just being honest." I licked my lips as we pulled into the Cracker Barrel parking lot. "Someone needs to ask you the hard-hitting questions."

  "You haven't asked me any hard hitting questions. You asked some basic questions, made some assumptions and you sound like a jackass."

  "Okay, I guess you'd rather sit in silence and wait for the bears to approach you and live in a trailer."

  "Elliott doesn't live in a trailer." She paused as we got out of the car. "He's actually from Philadelphia. He came down here for school and lives on campus."

  "Whoa, and big boy can't find a girl on campus." I gave her my shocked look. "What a loser."

  "Rhett, you're an asshole."

  "I'm just looking out for you. I don't want you dating a serial killer. You know Ted Bundy was up in Gainesville killing all those girls."