by J. S. Cooper
I grabbed my phone and sent her a text message: when we were young, we never cared about no one. I typed fast and pressed send. I lay there staring at the phone, wondering if she would bother to text me back. I wouldn't have been surprised if she had ignored me. I knew she was angry at me and what was going on with her and Elliott. I knew she was mad that things had changed between us. I knew she felt confused. I didn't blame her. I felt confused as well. I didn't understand why I was acting the way that I did. I didn't want her like that. I didn't want to date her. Yet, I didn't want her to be with Elliott. It annoyed me to think about her with him. Some might even say I was jealous, but I didn't do jealousy. I was just concerned about her. I didn't want her to lose herself in a relationship that wasn’t right for her and I knew that Elliott was not the guy for her. He was boring and he could never make her laugh like I did. I also knew that he was a jerk. After what he’d said last night about titty fucking her, I knew he was no better than me or Tomas. He only pretended to be a nice guy.
I also knew that he didn't really like me. I knew that he didn't think I was a great friend. Just like Penelope. Though, I didn’t want to think about her. I was hoping that she would forget what had happened last night. I felt embarrassed and ashamed for both of us. I still didn’t really like her as I knew she had tried to ruin my relationship with Clementine. I was fed up of people coming into Clemmie’s life and trying to break us apart.
Beep beep. My phone went off as I received a text. "When we were young we thought the world was at our feet. Now we are old, we know that nothing's meant to be." I read Clementine’s text and frowned before calling her.
"Hello?" She sighed as she answered the phone.
"Why did you change the lyrics?"
"Things change all the time." Her voice sounded sad. "I thought the lyrics needed to be updated."
"What's that supposed to mean?" I sat up in my bed and frowned. "What are you doing? You sound sad."
"I'm fine." She sighed again.
"Clementine O'Hara, what's wrong?" I growled.
"Nothing is wrong."
"Clemmie." I purred her name and waited for her to answer me. "I know your moods, what's wrong?"
"Nothing is wrong." She paused. "Elliott and I broke up."
"What do you mean you broke up?" My voice was annoyed, though my heart was jumping. "I thought he wasn't your boyfriend."
"He wasn't." She snapped. "However, we were seeing each other and he doesn't want to see me anymore."
"Why not?" I asked softly, not wanting her to hear how elated I felt.
"No special reason." She mumbled.
"Can I come over?" I asked softly. "We should talk in person."
"Do you want to see Linda?" She answered smartly and I groaned.
“Not really, but I can risk it.”
“Let’s just chat on the phone.” She sighed.
"Can we talk in person?" I jumped out of bed and grabbed a sweater and pulled it on. “Please.”
"I'm in bed."
"So was I."
"You can't come over and I'm not driving to your place."
"I'll come and pick you up."
"Why?" She sounded annoyed.
"Don't be mad at me, Clem. We need to talk in person."
"You're like a girl, Rhett. We have nothing to talk about." The phone went silent after she spoke and I stood there rigidly. She had hung up on me. I knew that I was pushing it and if it was anyone other than Clementine I wouldn't even care. But she was my best friend. She was the only constant in my life. I cared about her more than anyone in my life. I wasn't sure what my life would be like if it wasn't for her. As corny as it sounded, she made me a better person. I knew that I still had a heart because of her. If she wasn't in my love I'd be completely cynical.
I called her again and as soon as I heard her answer the phone, I started singing. "When you feel like crying, just think of me." I sang softly. "When you feel like lying, just dream of me. When the whole world feels like it's crashing, remember me. Call me when you need me. Need me when you can't be, alone." I could hear her breathing softly into the phone as I sang the friendship song she had created for me for my 17th birthday. I'd pretended to be embarrassed as she'd sung it to me. She'd been so earnest and adorable and I'd been so macho and untouchable. I had rolled my eyes and pretended that I thought it was sappy and totally girly, but it had meant the world to me. I'd thought of the song many times, even in my darkest hours, and it always comforted me.
"You can't sing." She said softly and I smiled. She was coming around.
"I'm going to come and pick you up and we'll come back here."
"We're too old for sleepovers, Rhett."
"We're never too old, Wendy." I joked and she laughed gently. “And anyway, its day time, so it’s not a sleepover.”
"You're always going to be my Peter Pan, aren't you?" Her voice was soft and slightly jaded.
"As long as you'll have me." I whispered back, my heart feeling empty. Clementine had always compared me to a lost boy and I understood why. It was because I'd felt abandoned by my parents and I knew the emotional part of me had never really grown up. I'd never gotten over my childhood traumas. Even with Clementine’s family in my life. Even with everything else that I had, I'd never understood why my parents hadn't cared.
"I'm always here for you, Rhett." She sighed. "That's the problem."
"What does that mean?" I paused, my heart stilling. Her voice sounded resigned and a part of me felt like everything was changing around me and I had no control to stop it.
"Nothing," she sighed. "Just come and pick me up."
"I..." I started and paused. I wanted to tell her that she meant the world to me. I wanted to tell her that I didn't want anything to change between us. I wanted to tell her that I wish we could go back to high school. I wish we could go back to the days where all she cared about was studying and talking to me. Those were the days when everything was perfect. Or almost perfect. I had football. I had my truck. I had the cheerleading and dance team dying to date me and I had Clementine to call and hang out with when I needed to just chill. I knew it was selfish of me to want everything to remain the same, but that was what had made me happiest.
"I'll be waiting Rhett." She said softly and then hung up. I grabbed the keys to my mustang and headed over to Clemmie’s apartment.
***
"You didn't have to wait outside." I frowned as Clementine jumped into the car as soon as I pulled over. "I would have come to the door." I looked over at her tired face as she got into the car.
"I didn't want Linda to know you were here." She shrugged and did her seatbelt up without looking at me. The air felt awkward between us and it wondered if I'd ruined everything by kissing her again.
"She'll get over me." I muttered as I pulled away from the curb.
"It's not so easy for everyone to get over someone they have a crush on." She muttered under her breath and I laughed.
"There is no reason for her to have a crush on me.” I sighed. “I’ve never given her any reason.” Unlike Penelope, I thought to myself and frowned.
"You're mean." She sighed and then giggled slightly.
"Are you mad at me?"
"What do you think?" She snapped and finally looked at me.
"Are you mad at me for kissing you or are you upset because you and Elliott broke up?"
"I don't understand what's going on." She spoke softly and I felt myself tensing up. "I don't get why you kissed me. I don't know why you were upset about Elliott."
"I wasn't upset." I protested too loudly.
"Penelope thinks you were jealous." She continued and sighed.
"Jealous of what?" I turned onto my street. I could feel myself growing angry and worried. What else had Penelope said? "I wish Penelope would just shut up and keep her thoughts to herself."
"Rhett," her voice was angry. "Penelope is my friend."
"She's not your best friend." I sighed. "She's never liked me. It's obvious to me t
hat she doesn't want me in your life."
"She does like you." She sighed.
"I don't care about her. I don't want to talk about her. I want to talk about us. I want to talk about why you've been ignoring me. I want to talk about what's going on." I shouted feeling angry. "And I'm pissed that I sound like a little pussy wanting to talk about anything."
"Rhett," she touched my arm. "Are you okay?" Her voice was soft and I gave her a quick glance. I saw concern in her face and I felt a part of me softening. Even after everything that had happened, she was still worried about me. It made me angry. I wanted her to harden up. I wanted her to tell me to fuck off. I wanted her to tell me that she'd had enough. I wanted to see her turn her back on me. I wanted it and didn't want it at the same time. A part of me wanted it because it would prove to me once and for all that nothing was forever. Not love and not friendships.
"I'm fine." I growled and moved my arm away from her. I didn't want her touching me. I didn't want her concern. I wanted so much more from her. My body craved carnal knowledge of her, even though my brain told me that it would be a mistake.
"I can't believe you're angry at me." She sighed. "It's me that should be upset."
"Can't we just forget all of it?" I sighed. "Let's go home and watch a movie and forget everything."
"That's fine by me." She shrugged and a part of me relaxed. Everything would be okay if we could just forget everything that had happened recently.
"So you wanna watch a movie?" I pulled up to my house and she smiled at me hesitantly.
"Yeah." She nodded. "Chick flick?"
"Hell no." We both laughed as I shook my head.
“Fine.” She sighed and I looked at her carefully. I could see the traces of tears in her eyes.
“What’s wrong?” I frowned as I turned off the engine and turned to her. “Why are you crying? Are you upset because of Elliott?”
“No.” She shrugged. “I don’t know.”
“What happened?”
“Nothing.” She looked away from me.
“What happened, Clementine?”
“He tried to tell me we couldn’t be friends.” She sighed. “When we left the truck show, he told me I had to pick between you and him. Then he tried to touch me.”
“What?” I frowned. “Where the fuck is he right now?”
“It’s okay, Rhett.” She grabbed my arm. “He tried, but I didn’t let him.”
“Where did he try to touch you?” I growled, feeling angrier than I’d ever felt.
“On my breasts.” She bit her lower lip. “He said he wanted to play with my tits and do something else.” Her voice dropped.
“Do what?” My eyes narrowed.
“I don’t wanna say.” She shook her head.
“Clementine, tell me.” I took a deep breath, imagining what he had said.
“He said he wanted to titty fuck me.” She whispered and I froze. I wasn’t sure what to say. I was furious, but I felt like a hypocrite. How could I get angry at what he had tried to do, when I had technically titty fucked her friend the previous evening. It wasn’t like I was any better than him. Maybe even worse. He actually liked Clementine. I couldn’t give two fucks about Penelope.
“Say something, Rhett.” She groaned and I looked up at her red face.
“Sorry, I was just thinking.” I sighed. “He’s a pig and you’re better off without him. Let’s go inside, okay.”
“Okay.” She nodded. “I can’t believe how different he was.”
“What do you mean?” I asked her as we walked into my house.
“He seemed so nice, like he liked me, but all he cared about was sex.”
“What can I say?” I shrugged, not wanting to tell her that was basically every guy. I didn’t want to give her any excuse to go back to him. “He was a jerk.”
“Yeah he was.” She frowned. “I’m so pissed at myself. I can’t believe I treated you like shit and he was such an asshole.”
“It’s okay.” I rubbed her hair. “All’s forgiven.”
“I’m so glad you’re not like him.” She shuddered. “You would never pretend to be into a girl, just to get laid. You’re straight up about it from the beginning.”
“Well, I don’t sleep around that much.” I frowned.
“I know.” She smiled at hooked my arm. “What movie do you want to watch?”
“I don’t know. Let’s see what’s out.” I opened the front door. “Bedroom or living room?”
“Let’s go to the bed.” She smiled. “I didn’t sleep well last night, so I want to relax.”
“Sounds good.” I nodded and we walked to my room. “Could you imagine if Elliott could see us now?” I laughed. “He’d go crazy.”
“Penelope as well.” She laughed. “She doesn’t think it’s healthy that we’re so close.”
“Oh, have you heard from her?” I kept my voice light.
“Not since yesterday.” She shrugged. “Why?”
“No reason.” I shook my head and we hopped onto the bed. “Okay, let’s see what we have.” I turned Netflix on my TV and flicked through movies. “Okies, what about a comedy?”
“That’s fine.” She jumped off of the bed and I watched as she walked to my closet. “Hey, can I borrow a t-shirt?” She glanced at me as she opened the door. “I’m not super comfortable in these jeans and tank top.” She grinned at me and I nodded. “Thanks.” She pulled a white t-shirt out and I watched her as she undid her jeans. “Turn around, Rhett.”
“Okay.” I turned towards the TV, but I couldn’t concentrate. All I could think about was that Clementine was taking her clothes off in my room. It had never felt like this before. I’d never felt so tense and stiff. All of a sudden, it didn’t seem so innocent any more.
“Oh this is much better.” Clementine spoke and I turned to look at her. I froze as she walked towards me and jumped on the bed. I wasn’t sure if she realized it, but I could see her nipples clearly through my white t-shirt. Her breasts bounced as she moved and I groaned inwardly as my t-shirt rode up her legs as she settled onto the bed.
“Well, you look comfortable.” I smiled at her gently and turned back to the TV.
“I am.” She relaxed back into the bed. “We need to spend more days like this.” She squirmed on the bed as she got comfortable. “I miss the days when we just used to lie in bed and watch TV all day.”
“Yeah, me too.” I nodded and shifted as I felt myself hardening.
“Are you going to change as well?” She asked innocently as she poked me in the back.
“Of course.” I jumped up and pulled my sweater and jeans off and sat back on the bed in just my boxer shorts.
“Ooh, sexy.” She giggled and I smiled at her weakly.
“Okay, let’s see what’s on.” I flicked through and she squealed.
“Ooh stop.”
“What?” I frowned and looked back at her.
“I heard that movie Nine and a Half Weeks was good.”
“You want to watch Nine and a Half Weeks?” I sighed. I was in no mood to watch a sexy movie.
“Yeah. Let’s start with that one.”
“Okay then.” I pressed play and sat back on the bed next to her. We sat next to each other, shoulders pressed together as we watched the movie. Everything was going well until the first sex scene.
“Oh wow, hot.” Clementine squirmed on the bed.
“We can change it if you want.”
“No, it’s fine.” She whispered and lay back. I sighed and sat stiffly and continued watching the movie. “Wow,” Clementine turned to look at me. “This movie is dirtier than I thought.”
“Yeah, it’s almost a porno.” I agreed and lay down so I could look at her properly.
“You know what I was thinking about this morning?” She spoke softly and I shook my head.
“No, what?”
“I was wondering what would have happened if I’d let Elliott go down on me.”
“Really?” I frowned and looked into her eye
s. “Trust me, he wasn’t worth it.”
“I didn’t necessarily want him.” She blushed. “I just wanted to see what it felt like.”
“I see.” I frowned and shifted. What was she doing to me?
“Does that sound bad?” She wrinkled her nose and I smiled at her.
“Of course not.”
“Okay good.” She bit her lower lip and then looked back at the TV screen. I continued to stare at her and I could tell that she was thinking about something, not related to the movie.
“What are you thinking, Clemmie?”
“What do you mean?” She looked at me and blushed.
“I know you’re thinking something.” I gave her a look.
“No, I’m not.”
“Clementine, tell me what you’re thinking.” I grabbed her hip and pulled her towards me.
“I’m embarrassed.” She shifted and the t-shirt rose even higher. I looked down at her legs and realized that if it rode any higher, I would see her panties.
“Tell me.” I sighed.
“Don’t laugh.”
“I won’t laugh.”
“So you know how you told me about oral sex the other night.”
“Uh huh.” My eyes narrowed and I watched her lips as she spoke.
“Nothing.” She shook her head and looked back at the screen.
“Okay.” I let it go and settled back and watched the movie. I moved closer to Clementine and put my arm over her waist. She lay back into my chest and we watched the movie snuggled together. I let my hands move along her stomach softly and she shifted against me so that her ass was resting against the front of my boxer shorts. Her t-shirt had now ridden all the way up and I could see the pink of her panties. My hand ran down to her leg and I traced a trail down her thigh.