Alex dragged a hand over his face and sighed. “Well, hell, Earl. You think all these compliments can wait until at least after noon?”
“It is after noon,” Earl said, kicking a bottle and watching it spin off with a clang. “It’s two o’clock, in fact. You’ve slept half the day away and who knows how many others since you’ve holed yourself up in here.”
Alex rubbed his temples. “I’ve just needed some time alone.”
“I know.” Earl nodded. “I’ve been tending to your horses while you’ve had plenty of it over the past month. Helped any, has it?”
Alex winced. No. It hadn’t. He’d cut his phone off, ignored his messages and avoided visitors, hoping to return to the status quo. But he missed Tammy and Brody more now than he had weeks ago. And the solitude was no longer comforting. It was just damned lonely.
Earl harrumphed. “It’s about time you stop wallowing around in this self-pity of yours and do something productive.”
“I’m not wallowing,” Alex said. “I’m just...”
“Hiding?”
“No.” Alex scowled and shoved his fists in his pockets. “I’ve been trying to do the right thing.”
Earl’s eyes narrowed. “By tossing Tammy out?”
Alex flinched. “I didn’t toss her out. I asked her to leave.”
“Why?”
Alex yanked out a chair with his boot, then sat down and rubbed his forehead.
“Not gonna tell me, huh?” Earl shrugged. “Doesn’t matter why. Just tell me this—does it feel right?”
Alex’s head shot up, a sharp pain shooting through his neck. “What did you say?”
“Does it feel like you’re doing the right thing? ’Cause from where I’m standing, it sure as hell doesn’t look like it.”
“You don’t know anything about it,” Alex said, ducking his head at the intense gleam in Earl’s eyes and focusing on the rumpled edge of his collar instead.
Earl nodded. “Maybe not. But I know you miss Tammy.” His eyes softened. “And Brody. I also know what you’re doing now isn’t doing you a bit of good.”
Alex sighed and sagged back in the chair. “Then what would you suggest I do?”
“Well, for starters, you can get your ass up, drink a pot of coffee and check your mail.”
Earl grabbed the bundle from under his arm and threw it. It slammed into Alex’s chest and bounced into his lap. A large manila envelope slid off the top of the stack. Alex grabbed it before it fell to the floor.
“Then,” Earl continued, “you can clean this mess up and come check on your horses.” He smiled. “After that, I might consider inviting you over for supper. You’re pretty decent company when you’re not hungover.”
Alex’s mouth quirked. He gathered up the stack of mail, dropped it on the table and started sifting through bills.
“That’s the spirit. I’m coming back to check on you to be sure you make it to the coffee.” Earl chuckled and headed for the door. He paused on the threshold and turned back, hesitating. “You know, I spent a lot of years alone. I was fine on my own and never needed anyone. Only thing is, I never thought about whether or not someone might need me.” He sighed. “I know it hit you hard when Susan left, so I can imagine it was scary letting Tammy in like you did. But the way I see it, if you did decide to take a chance with Tammy and things fell apart, well, it couldn’t hurt any worse than it does now, could it?”
Alex froze, his stomach sinking at the words.
The door thudded shut on Earl’s exit, and Alex blinked, refocusing on the manila envelope in his hand. It was addressed to him and Tammy.
Alex’s hands shook as he studied the postmark. It’d arrived three weeks ago from Raintree, Georgia. Mrs. Jen Mead was listed on the return address. He turned it over, opened it and dumped out the contents.
Dozens of pictures slid across the table, scattering in different directions. All of them had been taken at Jen and Colt’s wedding, and every single one of them had Brody in it.
He slumped into a chair, thumbing through them. There were so many. A few he remembered taking of Brody with Tammy as the baby smiled up at her or hugged her neck. All the rest were of him and Brody.
Alex smiled, recognizing the camera angle from when Tammy had knelt in front of them to take the picture or stood over them, cajoling bigger smiles. Even the winner—as Tammy had dubbed it—was there. Brody, the spitting image of Dean, sat on Alex’s lap, grinning, his hands covered in icing and frozen halfway to his mouth.
Alex’s gut churned, and he looked away, his gaze snagging on a small note among the pictures. He plucked it from the pile and read it.
Hi, Alex.
Colt told me I’m overstepping my boundaries by writing to you. And I know Tammy will kill me if she ever finds out. But heck, I’ve always gone for broke and I want Tammy to be happy. So here it is—you screwed up. Big-time. And if you’re as smart as I think you are, you’ll make it up to Tammy. Sooner rather than later. Because she’s a wonderful woman who deserves the best. And after seeing the two of you together, I know without a doubt that you are the best. She shines when she’s with you. Go see her, talk to her and you’ll understand. (But please don’t feel obligated to tell her that I wrote you. Did I mention she’d kill me if she ever found out?)
Alex laughed, the paper shaking in his hand.
I’ve enclosed pictures from the wedding. I promised to mail them to Tammy, but I’m hoping you’ll pass them along to her instead. I took the liberty of enlarging one. Colt took it, and it was my favorite. It’s proof you’re a handsome man, Alex. And I’ve never seen Tammy happier.
Jen
Alex glanced over the pictures covering the table, then retrieved the manila envelope and felt inside, finding a larger picture. He tugged it out and laid it on the table.
Brody wasn’t in this one.
A wave of heat swept through Alex, blurring his vision. He blinked hard and studied the picture closer.
Tammy stood on the dance floor in her teal dress, her arms around his waist and her face tipped up toward his. Her eyes were on him, bright and beautiful, and her smile was gentle. His hands cradled her face as he looked down at her, his smile just as wide as hers and both of their expressions full of love.
Alex stilled, remembering it clearly. It was the moment after Tammy had asked him to take her to his room and make love to her.
...I can’t think of a better way to end the day.
He smiled, wet heat streaming down his cheeks as he whispered, “Neither can I.”
God, she was beautiful. And happy. So damned happy. Because of him.
He held his breath and trailed a finger over her smile. She hadn’t been happy in that moment because of Brody. Or because of another baby. She’d been happy because she was with him.
And he was a lucky bastard.
Alex exhaled, then let out a burst of laughter.
“Aw, hell. You didn’t dive back into the liquor instead of the coffee, did you?”
Alex spun in his seat, steadied himself with the back of the chair, then scrubbed a hand over his face. Earl stood in the doorway, a look of trepidation crossing his face while Scout nipped at his ankle.
Alex shoved to his feet, shook his head and smiled. “I’m a lucky bastard.”
He stopped, suddenly afraid. Just as Tammy had said. He’d focused more on what he couldn’t give her than what he could. What he could do was love her better than any other man walking the earth. Loving her felt right. Instead, he’d sent her away, believing he wasn’t enough.
“And I’m a dumb bastard,” he spat, scrambling to regroup.
Earl’s eyebrows rose, lips twitching. “I won’t argue either point with you.”
“You mind if I take a rain check on that dinner tonight?” Alex scooped the pictures up, tidied them back into t
he envelope, then began picking the empty bottles up off the floor. “I need to straighten up, see about the horses, then take off.”
“Where you headed?”
Alex paused, clutching the bottles to his chest. “Wherever Tammy is.”
Earl smiled. “I’m all for that. But you’re not going anywhere until you drink some coffee, shower and shave. Otherwise, she’ll unhook you and throw you right back in the pond.”
Alex laughed, a weight lifting from him. “I’ve got to find her first.”
Earl gestured toward the cell phone sticking out from underneath a pile of trash on the table. “Why don’t you start by giving her a call?”
He did. But she didn’t answer. It rang several times, then kicked to voice mail. He couldn’t leave a message. What he wanted to say needed to be said in person.
She’d left him messages, though. He played each one several times as he cleaned up, shaved and packed a bag. She’d called so many times, asking him to pick up or call back, and she’d ended each one with the same phrase.
I still love you.
Lord, he hoped so. He hoped she still loved him despite him acting like a crazy, selfish bastard. And if she didn’t, he’d do anything he damned well had to do to earn it back.
The last message was from three days ago and she’d mentioned visiting Jen at Raintree Ranch. It was the best lead he had, so he started there. He asked Earl to tend to his horses for a few more days, threw his bag in his truck, then headed out, taking the straightest shot he could to Raintree.
The sun was just beginning to set when he arrived. He drove past the main guesthouse to Colt and Jen’s house on the back lot, hoping Tammy was still there. He turned onto the driveway, and his headlights illuminated Tammy’s truck and trailer parked at the end of it.
His heart lurched. He parked the truck, hopped out and strode up to the front door, running his clammy palms down the sides of his pant legs. He hesitated, then raised his fist and knocked, his knees shaking when footsteps approached.
The door swung open, and the welcoming smile on Jen’s face melted away, a cool expression taking its place.
“Hi, Jen.”
“Alex.” She propped a hand on her hip. “What can I do for you?”
“I’m here to see Tammy.”
“Oh, really?” Her eyes narrowed, swept down his frame, then back up again, her gaze lingering on the slight tremble of his hands at his sides. “What for?”
Alex winced. “I screwed up. And I want to make it up to her.” He swallowed the tight knot in his throat. “Please, Jen.”
A slow smile spread across her face. “It’s about time.” She turned her head to the side and shouted, “Tammy, get your cute butt down here. You have a guest.”
Alex smiled, mouthing thank you.
“You’re gonna pay me back,” Jen whispered, pointing a finger at his chest and grinning. “You better have that matron of honor position on lock for me.”
He nodded, and she left. Footfalls sounded down the stairs, then he heard a murmur of voices from inside. He looked down and dragged a boot over the porch floor, trying to calm his nerves. A pair of boots appeared in front of his, smaller and feminine.
Alex looked up, his heart aching at the guarded look on Tammy’s face. “Hey.”
She crossed her arms over her chest, her full breasts lifting and her tempting mouth firming.
Every muscle in his body strained to reach out and pull her close. He shifted his stance and cleared his throat. “I needed to see you. I needed to tell you I’m sorry.”
Her beautiful eyes flashed. “For what?”
“For ending things the way I did and not having more faith in you. For not being even half as brave as you’ve been.” He sucked in a deep breath. “See, the thing is, everyone keeps thinking it’s me who rescued you. But you’re the one who rescued me. And I want to return the favor.”
She stayed silent, her expression softening.
“I want to offer you a deal.” He stepped forward and looked down at her, the warmth radiating from her soft curves making him long to lean closer. “I can’t give you children. And I can’t—”
His voice broke, and he looked away, fighting back the wave of grief washing over him.
“I can’t give you Brody,” he forced out, flinching. “But I can give you my heart. Every corner of it.” He faced her, peering into her eyes. “I can give you a life full of love, laughter and time spent together. I love you. I want to marry you and share my life with you. I want to rock beside you on the front porch every day and hold and kiss you every night. And I swear I’ll love you better than any other man ever could. Every day. For the rest of our lives.”
Her lower lip trembled. “You want to kiss me every night? For the rest of our lives?”
He nodded, leaning closer. “Yes.”
She smiled, small and shaky, and tears escaped her lashes. “Dentures and all?”
He laughed, his own eyes tearing up, and cradled her face in his hands. “Yes.”
Tammy’s smile faded. She uncrossed her arms, then wrapped her hands around his wrists. “I can only accept on one condition.”
Alex straightened, his heart pounding. “Anything.”
She sighed. “I come with a lot of baggage, and you have to agree to take it on, too.”
“I will.” He dipped his head and kissed her, eager for the sweet taste of her again. She melted into him, and at her soft moan, he lifted his head and whispered, “Whatever it is.”
She smiled, then slipped out of his arms. He immediately followed, reaching for her as she turned her head and beckoned someone with her hand.
“Come on,” she said, laughing.
A familiar cackle rang out. Alex stopped and turned his head to the side.
Brody, clad in baby jeans and a T-shirt, ran toward them, hair flopping and diaper swishing with each step.
Alex sank to his knees and held out his arms. “Brody?”
Brody’s brown eyes lit up as he spotted Alex. “Dat!”
He darted over, wrapped his arms around Alex’s neck and squealed, his legs lifting restlessly in a demand to be picked up.
“John and Becky changed their minds.” Tammy smiled softly as Alex stood with Brody in his arms. “It wasn’t the right time for them.” She stepped forward and touched his forearm. “But I think it’s just the right time for us.”
Alex pulled her close and wrapped them both in his arms, laughing and crying at the same time. “It’s the perfect time,” he whispered. “Just perfect.”
Tammy hugged him back, kissed Brody’s cheek and asked, “Can we go home now?”
Alex nodded, his heart full to bursting. “Yeah. We’re going home.”
Brody laid his head on Alex’s chest, right over his heart. Alex kissed Tammy again and held his family in a protective embrace, savoring every moment. And he knew he was right where he belonged.
* * * * *
If you loved this book, don’t miss April Arrington’s other MEN OF RAINTREE RANCH books:
TWINS FOR THE BULL RIDER
THE RANCHER’S WIFE
THE BULL RIDER’S COWGIRL
Keep reading for an excerpt from TEXAS REBELS: PAXTON by Linda Warren.
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Texas Rebels: Paxton
by Linda Warren
Prologue
My name is Kate Rebel. I married John Rebel when I was eighteen years old and then bore him seven sons. We worked the family ranch, which John later inherited. We put everything we had into buying more land so our sons would have a legacy. We didn’t have much, but we had love.
The McCray Ranch borders Rebel Ranch on the east and the McCrays have forever been a thorn in my family’s side. They’ve cut our fences, dammed up creeks to limit our water supply, and shot one of our prize bulls. Ezra McCray threatened to shoot our sons if he caught them jumping his fences again. We tried to keep our boys away, but they are boys—young and wild.
One day Jude and Phoenix, two of our youngest, were out riding together. When John heard shots, he immediately went to find his boys. They lay on the ground, blood oozing from their heads. Ezra McCray was astride a horse twenty yards away with a rifle in his hand. John drew his gun and fired, killing Ezra instantly. Both boys survived with only minor wounds. Since my husband was protecting his children, he didn’t spend even one night in jail. This escalated the feud that still goes on today.
The man I knew as my husband died that day. He couldn’t live with what he’d done, and started to drink heavily. I had to take over the ranch and the raising of our boys. John died ten years later. We’ve all been affected by the tragedy, especially my sons.
The Rancher's Miracle Baby Page 18