She just shrugged. “You have everything you could ever want, but you still want him, even though he hurt you. Sounds like love to me,” she added as she reached for a glass of champagne. I traded it for the sparkling cider that she had been served.
“You’re too young to be so cynical,” I told her.
“And you’re too young to be an old maid. You should go talk to him. What’s stopping you?”
My eyes fell on Suzanne, who sat at a VIP table near the stage. “It’s more complicated than that,” was all I would say. Aubrey’s gaze followed mine to Suzanne’s but she didn’t pry. Perhaps she knew better.
Caz distracted me by asking me to dance, which was the last thing I wanted to do, but I allowed him to spin me around the dance floor while Devlin played. “Is this for me or for him?” I asked.
“Both,” Caz answered with that infuriating smile. He bent for a kiss, which he could steal courtesy of our public ruse as a couple. I didn’t fight him, even when he deepened it. “That was for me,” he told me with that playful smirk.
“You’re not going to be happy until he kills you, are you, Caz?”
He just shrugged. “What can I say? I like living on the edge.”
To prove his point, he even asked the sullen Aubrey to dance the minute Dreaming in Blue, and Giovanni Carnevale, took the stage next. I used this excuse to head back to the vacant dressing room so that I could change back into the clothes I came in, though I truly loved the dress I had worn.
My footsteps slowed when I realized a couple stood closely in the shadows, speaking low, laughing, and–from what I could tell, at least–making out in the darkness of the empty room. My stomach tightened as I got closer, certain I’d find Devlin and Suzanne cuddling up together, possibly getting off on some public rendezvous where they could be exposed at any time.
After I heard, “I can’t wait to get you back to the hotel,” I was ready to throw on every single light and expose them right then and there.
So I did.
Only it wasn’t Devlin and Suzanne I exposed canoodling in the shadows.
It was Oliver and Darcy.
Frozen to the spot, I stood gaping at them in open-mouthed shock. “What’s going on?” I asked.
“It’s not what it looks like,” Darcy insisted, but Oliver shook his head.
“No, CC. It’s exactly what it looks like.” He wrapped her in one protective arm. “I’m in love with Darcy. I have been for a while.”
I stared between them, unblinking, trying to piece it all together. Darcy wiggled away from Oliver. “I’ll let you two talk,” she murmured before she practically ran from us and back out towards the party, now thundering with loud rock music.
Oliver straightened his shoulders as he stared down at me. “I didn’t mean for you to find out this way.”
I was still in absolute shock. “But when?” I finally asked, before changing my question to, “How?”
How did this man, who had disdained me so much for being different, for being ‘plus-sized,’ fall in love with a woman who was twice the size I used to be?
He just spread his hands helplessly. “I didn’t plan it. It just happened. We spent so much time talking on the phone, about everything. It just made it easier when she came to town. Soon it became comfortable, for both of us. Then…,” he trailed off. “She’s an amazing woman, CC. All the things she’s been through. All the things she’s had to fight to rise above. Every single breath she takes is a victory. It humbles me that she could love a man like me.”
I landed on the counter behind me. Finally I asked the horrible question I had been thinking. “But you weren’t attracted to me when I was bigger. How could you fall in love with someone even bigger than that?”
“Your size had nothing to do with it, CC. You didn’t need me. You never did. She does.”
“But I did need you. I needed you to show me you gave a damn, that I wasn’t some consolation prize, part of the package that came with running Cabot.”
“And I needed you to show me that you wanted to be with me because I was the one you chose, not just because your daddy told you to.”
I sighed. “I guess we both fucked up.”
He shook his head as he walked towards me. “We weren’t meant to be. We weren’t even in love. We were resigned.” He glanced towards the door, where Darcy had escaped. “I know what that love is now, CC. I see it every single time I look in her eyes. I feel it every time we touch. The first time I kissed her…,” he trailed off wistfully, “…it was like the answer to a question I never knew I’d been asking.”
I smiled as I took his hands in mine. “She’s a lucky woman.”
He shook his head. “I’m the lucky one, CC. I want to marry her, though she doesn’t know it yet. She’s not there yet. She’s still shackled to the past in so many ways. But if all goes according to plan, she’ll move to Los Angeles by summer.”
“What about their mom?”
“I already talked to Devlin about that. We found a place here in the city, and I’ve already put in an offer on a house nearby. Getting Darcy out of Vegas, that’s the trick.”
I wondered how much he knew about Suzanne, if anything. “It’s complicated,” was all I said. He nodded.
“I’m taking it slow. One day at a time.”
“One foot in front of the other,” I murmured, thinking about Caz’s advice.
“Are you mad, CC?” he asked softly.
I shook my head with a smile before I walked right into his arms. “I love you. I love her. I’m glad you found each other.”
He squeezed me tight. “I wouldn’t have if it hadn’t been for you. She’s the greatest gift of my life, and I have you to thank for it.”
And I supposed he was right. If I hadn’t gone shopping for a lover for hire, to virtually cheat on this man in an entitled, spiteful fit, we wouldn’t be standing there in that room, after that fashion show, with a successful line like YC to show for it. For the first time in a long time, I didn’t want to think about how our lives would look had I not hired Devlin Masters.
“Everything happens the way it is supposed to,” I decided and he squeezed me again.
He didn’t waste one more second tracking down Darcy, which left me alone in the dressing room.
Only I wasn’t alone. I could tell by the smell of his cologne.
“How long have you been standing there, Devlin?”
He finally stepped from the shadows. “I saw Darcy run out of the room like her hair was on fire, so I thought I’d check it out. I thought maybe she had run into Caz.”
My startled eyes met his. “You know about Caz?”
“I know about everything, Coralie,” he murmured as he reached me where I stood.
“I just can’t believe she told you.”
“She didn’t,” he admitted. “Oliver did. I actually had to talk him down from beating the hell out of Caz. I told him that as good as it feels in the moment, it never actually solves anything. Caz keeps popping up like a roach you can’t squash. He’ll probably survive a nuclear holocaust.”
I chuckled. I could imagine him sauntering out of a mushroom cloud, that same smirk on his face, asking everyone if they wanted any s’mores. “He’s a better man than you think, Dev.”
Those green eyes drilled into mine. “I suppose you’d know.” I looked away. “I can smell him all over you,” he murmured as his finger trailed down my bare arm.
I bit back any embarrassing confessions that the one and only night I spent with Caz only proved to me how much I still loved Devlin Masters. “It’s better this way,” I mumbled. “At least he’s free from Suzanne.”
Devlin nodded. “That’s important.”
I trembled when I realized his fingers still grazed my skin. “I should go,” I said, but he blocked my passage.
“Aren’t you going to change?”
Another shudder passed through me. “Devlin.”
“Come on, ‘pussycat.’ It’s not like you have anything I hav
en’t seen. Or touched. Or kissed,” he added softly.
I sighed heavily. “I thought we were through playing these games.”
He tipped my chin so that I was forced to look into those potent eyes, before his gaze slid southwards towards the rest of my body. “You look beautiful in this dress, Coralie. You should wear it the next time you get married.”
I tipped my chin out of his hold. “What makes you think I will ever marry again?”
His thumb brushed my cheek. “That’s your dream, isn’t it? Marriage, babies, the white picket fence.”
“A faithful husband,” I added.
He stared down at me for a long, quiet moment. “You deserve all of that, CC,” he said, and his use of my initials just about killed me. When he turned away and stalked towards the door, one lone tear escaped from the corner of my eye.
I brushed it away angrily. I hadn’t cried over Devlin in weeks, I didn’t plan to start now.
I simply changed back into my clothes so that Caz and I could escape yet another party. I was afraid the next thing I’d throw into Suzanne’s face was my fist, especially when I saw her sitting in my chair at my table.
“CC,” she greeted as she stood. “So good to see you again. You looked beautiful as usual.”
I practically snarled at her sickly sweet smile. “Thank you.”
“Although, and it may have just been me, but I thought maybe that dress you wore was just a smidge too tight. Have you gone up a size?”
I glared at her. “Size doesn’t matter for Youniquely Cabot. Remember?”
“Of course,” she chuckled as she patted my arm. Then she leaned in. “But take it from someone who knows him a lot better than you do. If you gain your weight back, you’ll lose Caz.”
“Anyone I might lose for what I weigh isn’t anyone I’d want to keep,” I snapped.
“Of course, dear. Of course.” She patted my arm, and then checked to see if it still jiggled when she pulled her hand away. “Unfortunately for me, I have to keep thin. The public is very unforgiving about things like that.”
“The public is stupid,” Aubrey announced. Though Suzanne had feigned hushed tones to size-shame me, the people around us could hear. But because it was only Aubrey, she didn’t figure that counted. Aubrey was quick to let her know otherwise. “I think too much emphasis is placed on a woman’s appearance anyway.”
Suzanne cocked an eyebrow at her. “Interesting position for someone in fashion.”
Aubrey stood. “I’m not in fashion. In fact I was thinking of making political sciences my major. Maybe I could schedule a meeting one on one with your husband Harvey,” she added with a cunning little smile of her own. Suzanne caught her meaning, but smiled just the same.
“I’ll be all too happy to arrange that for you,” she said, and I figured it was because she knew that Harvey would never be able to withstand the temptation of a fiery, underage redhead.
“You know where to find me,” Aubrey replied.
Devlin joined us at our table. “Find you for what, Aubrey?” he asked.
Aubrey watched how Suzanne’s countenance changed when Devlin arrived. “Oh, nothing. She was just helping me decide on a college major.”
He smiled at my cousin. “Six months ago, you swore that was music.”
“Six months ago, I had a handsome, talented music teacher. But he’s a big pop star now, so I guess I’ll have to find something else.”
Devlin looked between both Aubrey and me. “Maybe I could fit in a lesson or two a week, if you’re still interested.”
Suzanne frowned, which seemed to please Aubrey tremendously. She took Devlin’s arm into hers. “You’d do that for me?”
His eyes lit upon my face. “Why not? Once family, always family.”
Aubrey smiled at me. “It’s fine by me if it’s fine by CC,” she said, with a look in her eyes that encouraged me to agree.
And just like that I wanted to vomit again. But I found myself agreeing anyway. “If that’s what Aubrey wants.”
Aubrey smiled even wider, which only made Suzanne that much unhappier. For that reason alone, I was glad I agreed to this new farce fiasco. After Suzanne practically dragged Devlin away, I turned to Aubrey. “What did you do?”
She laughed as she stared after Suzanne. “I got under her skin. Stupid bitch deserved it, trying to make you feel bad. Fat or thin, you’re a hundred times prettier than she is, and she knows it. She hates you for it.”
I nodded as I, too, watched Suzanne and Devlin from afar. I hadn’t told anyone about their connection, nor would I. But the way that they were talking closely, as Suzanne clearly had a problem with his new tutoring services, someone like Aubrey was smart enough to pick it up anyway.
“She hates you most because Devlin knows it too.” My eyes drifted to hers. “Like I said, I’m not an idiot. I was there at the wedding when she was all cozy with Caz, too. I thought my mom was a barracuda, but Suzanne Everhart puts her to shame.”
I looked away. I figured she would know about that kind of thing, given who her mother was. “It doesn’t matter,” I said.
“So what does she have on him anyway?” Aubrey asked.
“What makes you think she has anything on him?”
“Because he’s with her and he’s not with you. Look at him,” she said, forcing me to do exactly what she said. His eyes were stormy as he talked with Suzanne in angry, hushed whispers. “He doesn’t want to be with her. He hates her. You can see it in his eyes. She’s pulling his chains, and he resents her for it. Like a chained beast ready to claw his way out of his restraints. Whatever she has on him, it’s good. Otherwise he’d never put up with it. That’s not who he is.”
I reevaluated things as I stared across the room at them. What did she have on Devlin? He had jumped to her command while we were married because he never wanted me to know what happened between them all, but I knew all that now. Revealing they were together would hurt her way more than it would hurt him. He was gaining scores of fans by the seconds courtesy of the sexy video that played almost everywhere. His first album was due to drop in May, and the pre-orders were already through the roof.
What was left?
What ace did Suzanne Everhart still hold?
I went in search of my date, who I found at the bar, ordering a double, his trademark smirk nowhere to be seen. “Are you okay?”
He nodded before he drained his glass. “I had a talk with Darcy backstage,” he mumbled before he ordered another one. “Too bad I’m no longer tricking. I could make twice as much money with that second asshole she just ripped into me.”
I sat at the bar next to him. “You kind of deserved it, sweetie.”
He nodded. “Every last word.” He drained his glass. “Funny how that doesn’t make it any easier to hear.”
I ran my hand along his arm. “I’m sorry.”
His eyes met mine. “No need for you to be sorry, pussycat. Karma’s a bitch and then you die. Which, by the way, Oliver threatened to make sure would happen sooner or later if I ever got near her again. So heads up. They’re the brand new It Couple.”
I nodded. “I found them together in the dressing room.”
He chuckled mirthlessly. “Everyone has someone, don’t they?”
I took his hand in mine. “You have me.”
His amber eyes met mine. “No. I don’t.”
He actually looked sad about that. So I squeezed his hand. “Let’s get out of here.”
I decided to hold off any inquisitions as we headed back to the house. His head rested on my shoulder and I held his hand in mine. He was so unusually depressed I didn’t want to leave him after I walked him to Petit Paradis. He put one hand on either side of me, bracing against the door as he leaned down.
“You better run fast and far, pussycat,” he murmured, and I could smell the booze from his breath. “If you stay, I won’t stop until I fuck you again.”
“Caz,” I said, sure he was just making light of the moment. Then I saw the lo
ok in his eyes as he stared down at my mouth, as if he might devour me whole if he got the chance. I was reminded of our night together, which was enough for me to leave him alone.
Things weren’t much better at the house. The changing seasons had been rough on Father thanks to his weakened immune system. He’d contracted pneumonia at the end of February, so he had been bedbound for at least a week. Every time I visited him, I was reminded how the last sands in his hourglass were falling. He looked far frailer than he used to, practically withering up on his own skeleton. It hurt my heart to see it, but there was nothing left to do but confront the very painful reality that his life was ending.
Over the past week I had virtually become the parent. I would read stories to him at night, curled up with him on the bed, reading in French, like he liked. He drifted in and out of consciousness, but the rare compliment he gave, or smile, or touch, made it all worthwhile. I knew I would treasure these moments for the rest of my life, as painful as they were to endure in the moment.
I worried that his retiring so early had sped up the illness. He didn’t seem to have anything to look forward to anymore. Even telling him about how well the fashion show went didn’t really have that much appeal. He just patted my arm before those blue eyes drifted closed again.
I cried on Lucy’s shoulder about it when I went to see her the next day.
Axl J. Dunleavy was not yet a month old, but he virtually ran the Brentwood house where he lived with his two, doting parents. His nursery suite was filled to overflowing with toys and books and gifts for the tiny prince, most of which came from me whenever I visited twice a week because I couldn’t get enough of him. I held him each and every visit, usually the entire duration of it, when he would nap on my chest, a warm little bundle of love.
“If you and Gus want to head back to Vegas for a week, I’ll be more than happy to take care of him,” I volunteered more than once. Lucy would always smile and shake her head.
“I couldn’t go without him for more than a day.”
She was absolutely smitten with her little boy prince, as was I.
This first visit in March, however, it only made me feel emptier and sadder to hold him. The contrast between my father’s last days and Axl’s first days was sharper than it had ever been. “You’re not allowed to bring all that negative energy around the baby,” Lucy warned as she picked Axl up and cuddled him close.
Masters Forever (Masters #3) Page 23