Suddenly appearing a little on edge, Beth stood up and walked over to the other side of the clearing. “Last night you told me how much you enjoyed my first book. I know it’s not to everyone’s taste—people tend to love it or hate it.”
“I’m definitely a love-it,” Stacie confirmed enthusiastically. “And every time I’ve read it, I’ve found even more about it that I love.”
“Thank you—I really appreciate the vote of confidence.” Beth took a deep breath. “That being the case, Stacie, there’s a conversation I think we need to have for a number of reasons, although you may want to tell me to butt out and mind my own business.”
Stacie wasn’t about to do that—it sounded like Beth was about to give her the opening that she wanted, to talk about Cam, the book, and exactly how much of the main characters was drawn from the real lives of the people who’d inspired them. “That’s okay. Please…I’d like to talk.”
“All right, then. It’s difficult to know exactly where to start, but I guess the best place might be with the thought that you and Cam seemed to be getting on really well last night?”
Her lips curved into a hesitant smile. “Yes, we did—we are.”
Beth nodded. “And, er, Alex and I were wondering if…maybe you were going to see some more of each other?”
“It looks like we are.” Stacie was quietly thrilled by the prospect. “We talked about it last night, and while we were talking, I realised that you might be the best person to ask about…certain things.”
“Go on.”
“I didn’t know, until last night, that you wrote that first book. While I was out with Cam yesterday, he asked me who my favourite author was—with the benefit of hindsight, I think he was trying to steer the conversation round to telling me you wrote it, but I…I said some things that…I admitted to Cam that I’d fallen for the blond Dom in the book. I know—it’s a silly thing to say.”
Beth smiled—a kind smile that helped to put Stacie a little more at ease. “That’s a great compliment, you know. And not at all silly. These books work better if the reader warms to the characters. You were saying?”
“Well, last night, when I came downstairs for the party and I nearly fell down the last step…it was because I saw that beautiful diamond collar you were wearing. It sort of rang a bell, and then taking into account the descriptions of the characters and the fact that the party was for your second book, I thought that the book I’ve enjoyed so much had to be the first one you wrote.”
“And now you know you weren’t wrong.”
Stacie paused, trying to get her thoughts into some sort of order. “I couldn’t forget what I’d said in the car—I felt I had to apologise to Cam for embarrassing both of us, but he said he owed me an apology for not explaining everything earlier. We talked again, after the party, He confirmed that the characters were based loosely on the three of you, but…”
Stacie’s voice trailed off. How best to phrase the question she wanted most to ask? It was such a personal subject, so sensitive. If the D/s dimension to the book just came from Beth’s imagination, Stacie could easily alienate her, and that was the last thing she wanted to do.
“It might be easier if you just come out with it and ask whatever’s on your mind.”
Beth was looking at her expectantly. Oh well, in for a penny, in for a pound. “How much do the characters have in common with you? Is it more than just their physical characteristics?” She paused, finding every scrap of courage to ask what was occupying her mind most. “Is Cam a Dom?”
The other woman looked at her for a moment, then reached to the back of her neck, and brought the catch of the gold chain to the front—except now that she could take a closer look, Stacie saw that it wasn’t a catch but a small, beautifully engraved padlock. Beth held onto it as if it were some sort of talisman, the look on her face indicative of some sort of internal debate.
“I wouldn’t normally discuss this with an outsider, Stacie, but I think there are a couple of reasons why it would be a good idea in your case. If you’re going to be seeing Cam, there are things you need to know—and not being scared off by what I wrote in my book is a good start. I also think you’re not going to be an outsider for very long.”
Stacie felt warmed by the encouraging smile that lit Beth’s eyes.
Beth continued. “Apart from a small circle of very close friends who share our interests, no one else has realised—which amazes me—that the three characters are loosely based on Cam, Alex and myself. I used some aspects of our physical appearances, as you’re aware, but the most significant similarity between the characters I created and the three of us is the practice of D/s.
“This,” Beth pointed to the gold chain and padlock and took a deep breath, “is my collar, as was the diamond necklace last night. I wear it through choice, but Alex holds the key. I can’t remove it unless he unlocks it. To the outside world, we’re a very ordinary married couple, but anyone in the D/s community will know from this, when I wear it with the lock here and not at the back, that I’m a sub.” She paused. “Obviously, Alex is my Dom as well as my husband. And yes, you’re right about Cam—he is a Dom, and a very good one.”
So it was true. Confirmation of the fact from Beth drained all the air from Stacie’s lungs as the implications of that statement rushed through her mind.
And he’d asked her out. Was this what he’d been going to tell her? That the character in the book was like him in more than just appearance, and that she’d need time to think about it before agreeing to see him? That seemed most likely.
“Stacie? Are you all right?”
“I think so.” As she said it, Stacie realised that she was. “I feel as though I should be surprised, but somehow I’m not. Thank you for telling me all that.”
“Has it changed your mind about seeing him?”
A blunt question, and Stacie sensed there was a certain protectiveness about it that was both odd and touching. A man like Cam didn’t need a woman to protect him, yet clearly Beth didn’t want to see her friend get hurt or be rejected because of something that was such a fundamental part of him.
“No. No, it hasn’t. But I can’t say I’m not concerned about it. I’ve never been in that kind of relationship.”
“Have you ever thought about being in that kind of relationship?”
“Not until I read your book. It made me think about a lot of things, and it made me wish I could find a man like that,” Stacie confessed. “But then again, I didn’t think men like that existed. Just shows how much I know!” Stacie laughed. “I don’t want to disappoint him. What’s it like, dating a Dom?”
Beth sighed. “That’s like asking what colour is a rainbow. The lifestyle, in all its forms, is something that many people outside the community can’t or won’t even try to understand. Alex is the only Dom I’ve been in a relationship with—we don’t have a 24/7 power exchange, which to some people in the community isn’t a true D/s relationship, but it’s as true as we want it to be. He loves me, and he makes me feel safe in a way no other man ever had before I met him.”
“You make it sound wonderful.”
“It’s as wonderful as any relationship—of any kind—that works. It doesn’t mean it’s perfect, though—we still work at our relationship, the same way any vanilla couple does.”
“One thing that came across in your book was how much trust there was between the two central characters, once their relationship became established.”
Beth’s expression became thoughtful. “In D/s, trust is paramount. In fact, it’s probably true to say that trust has to be in place before a relationship becomes established. No—trust is something that’s earned. I think trustworthiness has to be a prerequisite. A Dom has to respect your safewords. And when you can have that level of trust in the person you love…” She gave a slightly embarrassed smile. “As a writer, I should have the words to describe what it’s like.”
“I think I can guess.” It would have been easy to be jealous of wha
t Beth had with her husband, but Stacie didn’t begrudge her one bit.
“There are some things you’ll need to remember, though, Stacie, if you’re going to be involved with a Dom. If there’s something they want, then they will go after it until they get it. That’s another reason why they have to be one-hundred-percent trustworthy, especially if you get into the sort of activities that are generally classed as edgeplay.”
Something about which Beth was clearly uncomfortable, as her next words confirmed.
“Alex has never done anything that could be considered edgeplay, nor has he ever wanted to. We are members of a club—on one visit, we were watching a public display that went too far. The Dom refused to respect the sub’s limits and his safeword. Alex went to the DMs—that’s the Dungeon Monitors—immediately. He didn’t say anything to me, but I know he was as distressed by it as I was. It’s a hard limit for both of us.”
Stacie felt a cold shiver go down her spine. Although she made a mental note to look into exactly what edgeplay was, it sounded like something she wanted to avoid at all costs. And Dungeon Monitors? They hadn’t been in Beth’s book!
“Stacie, if you were involved with Cam, you wouldn’t need to worry about anything like that—he and Alex are very much alike in a lot of respects. But if you do want to explore further, always remember where the real power in the relationship lies.”
“With the sub.” Stacie recalled how amazed she’d been when she’d first come across that fact.
“That’s right, and if you find yourself with a Dom who doesn’t respect that, then walk away—no, run away, just as fast as you can. If I wanted to, I could go back to the house right now, say the one word that will end it all, and I know that Alex would agree without hesitation.
“But…Alex isn’t Cam,” Beth continued. “As I said, they have many traits in common, the ones that come with having a dominant nature. If you belong to them, they take that sense of ownership very seriously. And their brand of ownership comes with certain rights and responsibilities that don’t tend to enter into vanilla relationships.”
“Rights?” Stacie found that more than a little alarming.
“Rights that you, as the sub, give them, and which you can withdraw at any time. What you will have in Cam is a protector for life, a man who will go to the ends of the earth for you, who will do whatever it takes to keep you safe, up to and including putting his life on the line. Alex is the same.”
Stacie could see by her expression that the other woman was caught up in remembering. She could only guess that it was the memory of the events Cam had told her about.
“Cam told me a little about what happened last year—not that he went into any details. It’s just…I was worried about you on Friday night, after dinner, when Alex came for you.”
At that, Beth’s face relaxed into a slightly self-conscious grin. “Knowing what you know now, you can probably work out what happened next. Alex is very good at getting me to focus on what’s important—it’s a Dom thing. And if you’re going to see Cam, that’s something else that you’ll need to get used to.”
Stacie swallowed the lump that had suddenly formed in her throat. Intimate images filled her mind, fantasies of the things that Cam might do to and with her. Beth’s warm hands clasping her cold ones brought her back to reality.
“Don’t worry, Stacie. Cam would never force you to do anything you didn’t want to do. All you need to remember are three words: safe, sane and consensual. They are the cornerstone of this lifestyle. If you go out with Cam and you find you want to know more about Domination and submission, he’ll guide you gently into it, at a pace you feel comfortable with, and you’ll be able to stop it or slow it down at any time. What you need to think about is whether you can really hand over complete control to another person…to Cam.”
“I never realised…Even though I’ve thought about it, it’s still a lot to take in. As I said, I didn’t think men like that could possibly exist.”
“Nor me,” Beth admitted. “At least, not back then, before Alex changed our relationship. I thought they were a figment of my imagination and that of every writer of erotic romance with elements of BDSM in it. I assumed that Alex was the inspiration for the dark-haired Dom because of certain aspects of his behaviour round the office—I didn’t realise that what I was picking up on was the fundamental nature of his character, not just a shallow predilection for bossiness. He scared me to death when he turned our professional relationship into a personal one, but I’ve never regretted it.”
*
Seated across the desk from Alex, Cam was waiting to hear his friend’s answer to the proposal he’d just put to him. Alex seemed to be fixated on the view through the window.
“I don’t know, Cam,” he said at length. “I’ve been out of the game a long time. I’m not sure I have anything of value to contribute anymore.”
Cam’s muttered curse spoke volumes about irritation and disbelief. “That’s a pile of crap and you know it. Cast your mind back twelve months—Underwood put a bullet in you but you still managed to put him out of action permanently with your bare hands. Besides,” Cam went on, “it’s not like you’ll be doing fieldwork. I’m offering you a cushy office job, partner.”
“I know.” Alex turned back to his friend. “I’ll think about it.”
“Shit!” Cam rolled his eyes. “Not you as well! That’s what I got from Ros when I asked her again last night.”
The other man laughed, and after a moment’s hesitation Cam joined in, laughing at what had turned into a long-running joke over the last couple of years.
“You could always go and badger her over at Guy’s place—she’s spending the weekend with him,” Alex suggested.
“Any other time I might have done—I could really use her on the team,” Cam admitted.
“Other priorities?”
Cam nodded. “Stacie. I might as well tell you now—I like her.”
His friend gave him a shrewd look. “Tell me something I don’t know. There were times last night when you were looking at her the way I looked at Beth when I first realised I wanted her.”
“When did you reach that point?”
Alex looked uncomfortably embarrassed for a moment. “Five minutes into the fucking job interview. But we’re not discussing me. We’re discussing you. And Stacie. A couple of days ago you hadn’t even met her. Friday night, you told me it wasn’t going anywhere. Yesterday you told her you’d buy her a car, and you spent a thousand pounds on an outfit and accessories for her. Who are you, and what have you done with the real Cameron Fraser?”
“This from you?” The look on Cam’s face was an eloquent expression of his opinion of the stance Alex had taken. “Do the words ‘pot’, ‘kettle’ and ‘black’ mean anything to you? Anyway, didn’t you say yourself that she might be just what I need?”
“What I think is irrelevant—someone has to play devil’s advocate here. Well? Don’t you think you’re going a little over the top for a woman you only just met?”
“You gave Beth a job, remember? You see, this is precisely my point. Fundamentally, there’s no difference between your reaction to her and my reaction to Stacie, apart from the fact that it didn’t take me three years and a sprained ankle to fucking well do something about it.” Cam gave a dismissive shrug. “Besides, what the hell else am I going to spend my money on? She needed help—I’m in a position to give it.”
“So you’re going to be seeing more of her?”
“Looks that way.”
“So it’s not too soon, and you’re not too old for her after all?”
Trust Alex to remind him about his objections. Cam shrugged. “What can I say? My timing’s crap and my maths sucks.”
“What if she’s not submissive?”
The killer question.
“Thanks, Alex. That’s really helpful.”
“Hey, you were the one who said you needed a sub.”
He had—Cam couldn’t deny it. “She likes Beth’s bo
ok. She’s a huge fan.”
Alex rested his chin on steepled fingers. “Cam, you know as well as I do—if every woman who likes Beth’s book were a sub, every Dom in the country could have a different sub for every night of the week and two on Sundays. You also know that when it comes to our lifestyle, fantasy and reality rarely coincide. So what’s your plan?”
Cam considered the question for a moment. “Get to know her. Gauge the level of her interest in submission, see if she has any inclination to take it further than just reading about it. See if things click between us.”
“Suppose everything clicks except for the fact that she’s not submissive? That she’s not even interested beyond the fantasy version? Have you thought about that? How she might react when you raise the subject?”
“I don’t think she’ll freak out. Let me tell you something—she knows the main characters in Beth’s book are loosely based on us. I didn’t tell her—I just confirmed her suspicions. She worked it out for herself.”
“Does she know to what extent?”
Talk about a dog with a bone. “Not yet.”
“But she’s probably wondering. If she’s smart enough to make the connection in the first place, she’ll want to know just how far it goes. You need to talk to her, and sooner rather than later.”
He cursed under his breath—Alex was right. He wasn’t telling Cam anything he didn’t already know. “It still may end up going nowhere.”
“The same place where most relationships end up, because it only takes one to be special. I know.” Alex paused. “You do know that you’re both welcome to stay here?”
“Thanks. Stacie was planning to take a few days off—if that’s still the case, I thought we might stay here a couple more days and then head back to London.”
Alex shook his head. “Cam, you need the break. Why don’t you both stay here for the week, like you planned? Stacie’s more than welcome. And hell, God knows we’re no prudes—if the two of you end up ready to share a room while you’re still here, go ahead.”
Cam allowed himself a small chuckle. “Thanks, Alex. It’s tempting, but having given this some thought, I want Stacie to be sure about this. What I don’t want is for her to feel rushed into anything. I’ve given it some consideration, and I think we need to get to know each other in a regular environment. Not to mention the fact that I’d feel as uncomfortable as hell doing the horizontal mambo under your roof.”
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