Suddenly, Liam bent and took her mouth in a ravaging kiss, stealing inside and ransacking, taking her tongue. Immediately, she tasted the roast beef, pineapple, and wine in his kiss. Then they shared the chocolate flavor, and he ate at her mouth hungrily before suddenly lifting away.
“Watching you eat is a sensual experience, especially when I give you that chocolate. Christ, you make a man hard.”
Raine felt a happy little flush crawl up her cheeks.
“What’s your favorite, gold or silver?”
She got the game now. Innocuous questions followed by zingers. One was supposed to lull her into false comfort before he hit her hard. The food either rewarded or punished her, depending on how completely and honestly she answered.
Well, hell. She had to give Liam credit. It was damn clever. He could dig into her psyche while he established his control over her, all without laying a single swat anywhere on her bruised body. She was so used to Hammer, who was all glowers and demands, all thunder, and strict, and as subtle as his moniker. Liam was good with misdirection and confusion. He coaxed. He would sneak under her defenses if she wasn’t careful.
Raine cleared her throat. “I like gold and silver. Why choose?”
He tapped the end of her nose with his finger affectionately. “I shouldn’t have expected a different answer. Why, indeed? You’d look stunning in either.”
Maybe he meant it. Maybe he didn’t. But she could get used to compliments like that. “Thank you, Sir.”
His palm cupped the side of her face. “Spoken so beautifully and naturally. Good.”
He brushed something slightly textured and sweet over her bottom lip. She smelled the pineapple and opened her mouth automatically, allowing him to plop it on her tongue.
“Very nice, lass. You’re coming along and pleasing me.”
The praise warmed her. It shouldn’t, really. God, she’d only given him a common courtesy and eaten a bite of fruit. But Raine knew the drill. He was pleased because she’d called him Sir and because she’d trusted him enough to eat willingly from his hand without being told.
Even so, she couldn’t deny that his kind words made her glow. She smiled at him, and in return, he brushed a little kiss over her mouth.
“How sorely you tempt a man…” he groaned, then popped a piece of the roast beef on her tongue. He followed that with another, then gave her a pinch of bread and some wine to wash it all down.
The warmth seeped deeper in her bones. She could really get to liking this game as long as it stayed friendly.
“What’s your happiest memory?”
The question flicked across her skin like a knife so sharp she almost didn’t feel the cut. God, she hadn’t allowed herself to dwell on this in years. It made the hell of the next decade that much worse. But she also hated the thought of Liam imagining that she was just a miserable woman whom no one in her life had ever wanted. Useless, discarded, forgotten.
“When I was six, my parents sent me to spend the holidays with my grandparents in Wisconsin. Just me. There was a big tree, and Grandpa lifted me up to put the star on top on Christmas Eve. There was snow. Grandma baked, and the house always smelled heavenly.”
“Does baking now calm you because it reminds you of that time?”
Raine froze. She hadn’t thought of it quite like that, but when she baked, she could close her eyes and be transported back to the moment she’d first awakened in the big, warm bed they’d given her and everything smelled like cinnamon and yeast and happiness.
“Maybe… Yeah, I guess.”
His thumb slid over her bottom lip, and she parted, opening for him without thought.
“Lovely, lass.”
More chocolate. It sat on her tongue, sweet and firm, until she sucked at it. Slowly, it broke apart and melted inside her mouth, making her taste buds sing.
“That is the best chocolate ever. I would eat that all day, every day, if I could.”
“And give yourself a stomach ache.” He chuckled. “Probably best if I dish it out to you a bit at a time. Don’t you think?”
Probably. Otherwise, she could outgrow her entire wardrobe fast.
She wrinkled her nose. “It pains me to say it, but you’re probably right, Sir.”
“That’s a good girl.”
He fed her a bit more of the roast beef and pineapple. As far as he tipped the glass up, it seemed as if she’d finished the wine. The relaxation curling through her seemed to suggest that, too. The smile on her lips was probably a bit too happy for the moment, but it was as if getting away from Shadows for a bit, then having a good cry and a good meal with a man who seemed to care about her was cathartic. She felt a bit lighter, her soul not so weighted down with regret. She still had plenty, of course. But at least now it might not drown her.
“What happened to you as a child, Raine?”
Chapter 10
The question came out of nowhere, like a heavyweight’s punch to the stomach. Raine gasped, couldn’t breathe. Her mouth opened, but no sound came out. She got to one knee, then leapt to her feet, backing away from Liam.
“No!” She shook her head frantically, well aware that she couldn’t see him or anything else. But she’d rather risk bodily injury than answer that question. “If you want to know, ask Hammer. That’s the last time I’ve spoken of it, at least to anyone important. And it’s the last time I will.”
She sensed Liam’s closeness before he grabbed her arm. His grip wasn’t harsh, but it was unyielding.
He growled in her ear. “I didn’t give you permission to rise. Back in front of the bed, on your knees.” He jerked her in place again, guiding her so she didn’t stumble. The carpet was even still warm beneath her knees. “And I won’t be asking Hammer a damn thing. You will tell me yourself.”
The hell she would. Raine tightened her mouth mulishly. He wasn’t getting her to talk. And he wasn’t shoving more pickles in her mouth.
“Do you understand?”
“I’m too tired for this heart-to-heart.”
“Answer my question and I’ll let you sleep.”
No, once she gave him this answer, he’d just keep digging into her psyche. He’d want details. He’d want to know how she dealt with it all. He’d want the stuff she hadn’t even shared with Hammer.
“Ask me anything else.”
“No. I’ve asked what I wished to know.”
Panic welled inside her. “Don’t I get a safe word around here?”
“You always have one,” Liam assured. “It hasn’t changed. But I’m not hurting you.”
“You are!”
“Think carefully about that. Mental discomfort aside, am I physically hurting any part of your body?”
No. But she couldn’t just shit out all of her crappy past like she had verbal diarrhea. Instead, she tugged at her arm. “Your grip is tight.”
It wasn’t, but she had nothing else.
He paused for a long minute, then loosened his fingers just a touch. “Am I hurting you now?”
Raine listened to his voice drop even lower. He’d chosen his words very carefully. His tone itself was a warning. He was about at the end of putting up with her, and he’d probably only let her get this far because he felt sorry for her. Poor dumb, broken-hearted girl, too fucked up to be honest… That’s what he had to be thinking. It made her sick. But she didn’t know how to change.
“No, Sir,” she muttered.
“Good. Let’s be clear. I’m not letting you put up more walls between us. Do you understand me?”
God, he was so patient. Could he just get mad and scream at her already? She could ignore that. But he never once raised his voice…and he still managed to get his point across with as much subtlety as a neon billboard.
“Yes, Sir.” She fidgeted. She was running out of ways to avoid answering. Now what?
“I expect you to answer me now. What happened to you as a child?”
She flinched at the question. A thousand images rushed her all like a fist to her
psyche. She shook her head, fighting tears. She’d rather take her punishment than open up this can of worms. After all, it’s not as if this would be the first time she’d endured.
“Just spank me and get it over with.”
“While you’re bruised? While you’re hurting?” His voice was so gentle now, it was like an ice pick straight to her chest. He shoved it in deeper as he stroked her hair. “No. I have no wish to cause more pain. Nor will I give you an easy excuse to defy and resent me. There’s a lovely reward for you, if you’ll just trust me.”
More chocolate? But even for that, she wouldn’t answer his question.
“I’m sorry,” she choked out.
“Me, too,” he said with regret, then he grabbed her hair and tugged. Her head snapped back. Her mouth fell open.
He slid a big chunk of pickle on her tongue and pushed the heel of his palm under her chin, forcing her mouth closed.
Raine’s taste buds protested loudly. Her eyes watered.
“Chew,” he demanded. “You’re going to eat it.”
Crap, there was no escape. She couldn’t get out of his grip without losing a chunk of hair and she couldn’t open her mouth to spit it out.
Quickly, she chewed it into large chunks and forced herself to swallow them down. But the pieces were still too big, and she choked. Liam let go of her hair immediately and braced one hand around her waist. The other slapped her between the shoulder blades. The last of the terrible pickle slid down, but that vile taste lingered on her tongue.
“You can’t make me tell you.”
Behind her, he froze. Slowly, he withdrew his hands from her. Instantly, she felt cold, alone.
Raine felt more than heard Liam sit on the bed. “You’re right. I can make your life unpleasant enough until you want to, however.”
“A steady diet of pickles will only make me puke.”
“It might. I’ll hold your hair and aim you over the toilet.”
Was he kidding? “That’s disgusting.”
“It’s not my first choice, but if that’s what it takes…” She sensed that he shrugged. “You seem to think of me as the enemy. What have I ever done to make you believe I would hurt you?”
Nothing. In fact, if anything, he’d gone out of his way to earn her trust, rather than simply trying to take it.
“Whoever hurt you in the past… I’m not one of them, lass.”
Her shoulders drooped. Raine couldn’t see anything, but if she could, she’d be looking at nothing but floor.
Liam slid a palm up her back, under her hair, then cradled her neck. “I’m not giving up on this question, Raine. I want you to think about the fact that you’ll never be happy if you can’t share this pain and fear inside you. And you will never be able to truly bond with a Dom—or any other human being—until you do. Until then, you will always be alone.” He stroked her hair again. “You have so many wonderful gifts to share. I’d hate never to know them. It disappoints me to see you waste them.”
His soft condemnation was so fucking hard to take. The words lashed her like a whip cutting through flesh and opening her to the bone. Why didn’t he just punish her already? Paddle her bruised butt… But he’d explained that. He couldn’t force her to change, but he wouldn’t let her hide easily.
“Liam…” she began.
“Yes?”
Raine had nothing to say. She couldn’t make herself spill her past. Even thinking about it made her bleed. Shame. That she hadn’t been strong enough to stop it. That she hadn’t been smart enough to avoid it. And now she was left with the wound that just wouldn’t seem to scar over. Instead, it just kept infecting everything she touched.
“Nothing.”
He sighed, and she heard his disappointment. It hurt so damn much as he took hold of her arms and released her wrists. Her shoulders were a bit stiff, and she rolled them. Liam massaged them so tenderly. Oddly, the moment she got free of his cuffs, a part of her felt as if she was free falling inside, like some safety net had been taken from her. Without thought, she reached out for him.
He didn’t deny her touch…but he didn’t put the cuffs on her again.
“Climb up here on the bed and lay on your back. Arms wide, legs together.” He helped her onto the cushy mattress, and she sank immediately onto what felt like a fluffy towel over soft cotton blankets. “That’s it. Bring your knees up. Now relax them and let them fall open for me.”
So her pussy was exposed?
Still, she did it. He’d seen and touched it all. He wasn’t going to hurt her.
“Yes. Just like that.” He released her and stood, retreating and returning quickly. “I’ve fetched a tray of lavender, tea tree oil, and rosemary. The caretaker’s wife mixed it with pure olive oil and heated it for you. It will be a soothing medicinal balm. Don’t be alarmed as I pour it on you. Just relax. Keep yourself open for me, and not just your body, Raine. It’s your mind I speak of, too. This won’t be painful.”
With that, Liam began by massaging her methodically from head to toe, paying particular attention to her breasts, hips, and thighs—anywhere she was already bruised. He avoided her pussy, and unconsciously she rose to his traveling hands. But he didn’t touch her there. Instead, he drifted farther down, slowly lulling her into a blessed calm.
He drizzled the oil directly onto her skin now, over her breasts, then trailed it to her mound. “This will help with the healing. It’ll not alleviate the bruising, but it will soothe your skin. Does it feel warm and cool at the same time?”
She started to nod, then stopped herself. He didn’t want her to answer him that way, and it seemed a simple thing to give him the words he wanted when she’d denied him almost everything else.
“Yes, Sir.”
Raine sensed his sadness and wished like hell that she could see his face. No, that she could put her arms around him. The last thing she wanted to do after hurting Liam last night was make him even sadder now.
He stroked and caressed her breasts, massaging and kneading the tender flesh in concentric circles, drawing smoothly toward her areola, squeezing the nipple gently, again and again until she moaned.
Liam had found another of her weaknesses. Her nipples had always been sensitive, and his slow, slick touch with the oils was awakening her. As much sex as she’d had lately, everything south of her waist should be dormant, if not dead. But no. The warm oil spilled down her bare mons and over her sore folds, adding another layer of sensation.
And Raine couldn’t miss his hardening cock growing thick and heavy as he leaned against her. She was probably far too sore to actually have sex with him right now…but some part of her really wanted to be as close to him as two people could be.
Blindly, she reached up for him, felt her way from his wrist to his shoulder, then looped her arms around his neck. Her clumsy lips groped from his jaw to the corner of his mouth before she opened for his surprise onslaught. He dove into her mouth, seemingly willing to drown in her for a nearly perfect moment. She needed someone, and Liam was here with and for her. Raine clung tighter. Her rock. Her life preserver in an angry sea. Her someone to believe in?
A long moment of union later, he eased his lips from hers. “Raine, whatever’s hurting you, share it with me. Tell me what happened when you were a child. Let me comfort you.”
Raine couldn’t rip off this Band-Aid for him right now. She flinched and dropped back to the bed, tearing the blindfold away from her eyes.
She wished she hadn’t.
Such soft pity… God, it curdled her stomach.
“Don’t feel sorry for me. Don’t you dare!”
His eyes narrowed, and he moved so quickly, it stunned her, stole her breath.
Liam straddled her, his hands curling around her wrists, his big thighs pinning her hips to the bed. She kicked and shrieked until she realized that she wasn’t going to budge him and that she probably sounded like a willful child. She shut up and glared.
“Listen and listen well. You can’t tell me how to fee
l, any more than I can tell you. If pity was all I felt, I wouldn’t be trying this hard. You’ve got such fire in you. Are you really going to let something that happened years ago cripple your heart? Rob you of a satisfying future?”
He spoke the question in silky tones. It hurt all over. With his stare and his questions probing her, she felt so exposed. Vulnerable. She wanted to curl her knees to her chest, cross her arms protectively over her body, and keep everyone out.
Liam wasn’t about to let that happen.
She searched for a clever way to put him off or skirt the truth, but his invasive stare and her aching nipples handicapped her brain. Her body was every bit as confused as her head. She’d barely slept, didn’t know where she belonged or what to think.
Raine turned away. “I’m done. I’ll volunteer all day long that I hate mustard, love reading, and that I’m allergic to antibiotics. But don’t talk to me about my childhood again.” Damn it, why couldn’t she stop sobbing? “Please...”
“No, Raine. You don’t get to call the shots here. My training. My rules. You’ve had it tough. I understand that. I also know the last few days have been...extreme. But I promised I’d split you open like a ripe peach. At some point, you’ll know that I always keep my promises. You also need to learn to behave properly for a Dominant. All this arguing isn’t showing me your desire to please or convincing me that you want to share a part of your soul.”
“I do…” She blinked back his way. “I just…can’t we work up to the worst? I’ve barely thought about my past in years. We’ve only been speaking for a handful of days, and now you want in the deepest recesses of my soul, a place where I thought I’d only show Hammer. But the man I’ve loved all these years doesn’t think I’m good enough. Eventually you won’t, either. Can’t I just keep my goddamn secrets until you get bored?”
“No.” His answer came back like the crack of a whip. “You’ll watch your language, too. If I have to warn you again, once your ass is healed up, I’ll make sure you won’t be sitting pretty for a week at least. And you’ll never bore me. Never,” he growled emphatically. “You don’t believe me yet, but I won’t let up until you do.” She opened her mouth to argue, but he put a finger over her lips. “Not another word. I’m bloody tired of arguing. You must be sleepy. Let’s see if anything looks better after a nap.”
One Dom To Love (The Doms of Her Life - Book 1) Page 17