Chapter 27
June is getting a worrying amount of satisfaction from feeding old paperwork into the shredder and hearing the whirring scrunch as it has turned into streams of confetti. ‘I could do this for a living,’ she says as the pile grows.
I’m keeping her company, even though it’s our Saturday off and it’s probably only encouraging her weekend work habit. ‘So, you’re telling me you’re in love,’ she says. ‘Both of you. That’s quick.’
I have to inspect her comment carefully, though I don’t find any judgment in it. It’s hard enough talking about this to her at all, what with the Callum situation. But if we don’t, then there’ll only be a Nick-sized elephant in the room to avoid. ‘Not yet,’ I say. ‘We’ve just said that we will be telling each other in the future. I know, it sounds stupid now saying it.’
‘If it’s so stupid, then why can’t you stop smiling?’
‘I don’t know!’ Maybe because my heart might actually burst with the excitement of Nick and I finally being together. What I didn’t dare to hope for is actually happening.
‘You know this puts me in a difficult situation,’ she says, and suddenly we’re not joking anymore. ‘I’ve always kept my personal life out of work. It’s one of the most important things about my job. I can’t get emotionally involved, and I’ve never let myself. You know that. Even with us, and we’re best friends.’
‘And you shouldn’t get emotionally involved now, June. Nick shouldn’t have said anything to Callum, I agree, but that has nothing to do with work.’
‘You think this is about Callum? Phoebe, please give me more credit. It’s about Nick’s CV. Specifically, lying on it.’
‘But he didn’t lie, Max did!’
‘It doesn’t—’
Her protest gets cut off by Nick, who bursts through the office door. He’s here doing some therapy with Laney. Which might also be why I’m keeping June company. ‘Come out front, you’ve got to see this!’ he says.
The chill between June and me pulls him up sharply. ‘What’s happening?’ He’s between us. ‘Did I interrupt something?’
‘Come in, Nick, I’ve been wanting to talk to you anyway,’ says June. ‘We may as well do this now.’
With a sick feeling, I start to get up.
‘No, stay, Phoebe.’
‘But this is an HR issue,’ I say. The last thing I want to do is watch my boyfriend get sacked by my best friend.
‘It is, but stay. Please.’ Then she turns to Nick, who has obediently sat in the extra chair. ‘I was just telling Phoebe that you’ve put me in an awkward position. Your CV isn’t an accurate reflection of your actual educational experience. Is that fair to say?’
Nick nods.
‘Or, to put it another way, you’ve falsified your credentials in a medical position. Is that also fair to say?’
‘It is.’ Nick sighs. ‘I could blame my father, but it’s true that when I found out what he’d done, I didn’t tell you. So yes, it’s fair.’
‘What would you do in my position? Be honest.’
‘I’d sack me,’ he says. ‘I completely understand why you would. My only explanation, which isn’t a defence, is that I love my job and I hope I’m good at it.’
June sighs. ‘And that’s what’s so hard about this. You are good at it. I’d have sacked you already if it wasn’t for that. So, this is what you’re going to do.’
She rifles through one of her drawers, selects a document and feeds it through the shredder. Just before the machine crunches it, I catch Nick’s name on top.
‘You’re going to give me your CV Monday morning, and so help me, Nick, it had better be one hundred per cent true. If you’ve so much as embellished an after-school club, you’ll be gone before lunchtime.’
‘Thank you!’ I say.
‘Wait, I’m not finished. Second, you will never get involved in my love life again as long as you live, because you suck at it. Promise me.’
He holds up his hand. ‘I promise. I won’t so much as suggest a restaurant to you.’ He steals a relieved glance at me.
‘And thirdly, Nick, you will not, ever, for as long as you both shall live, hurt Phoebe. You haven’t seen a mad woman until you’ve seen one whose best friend has been messed around.’
‘I can vouch for that,’ I tell him, although he’s felt my wrath over June, so he’s had some experience already.
At that, Nick stands to grasp June’s hand in his, training his intense gaze into her eyes. ‘June, thank you for giving me another chance. And I won’t ever hurt Phoebe. It feels like a miracle that we’re finally together and I will never, ever, do anything to risk losing that.’
‘Blimey!’ she says. ‘You weren’t kidding, Phoebe!’
‘What wasn’t she kidding about?’ Nick asks, now smiling as much as June and me.
‘None of your business,’ I add quickly. ‘It’s best friend stuff. What do we have to see?’
‘What?’
‘Before. You said—’
‘Oh, right, I forgot. Come on!’
Most of the residents are standing outside in front of the home, all bundled up against the cold. With a sinking heart, I realise that they’ve split again by gender. The men, plus Sophie, are huddled around Terence near the building with the rest of the residents facing them.
‘What’s going on?’ June calls over.
‘They’re showing us something,’ Dot says. ‘Though I do wish they’d hurry up so we can go back inside.’
‘We’re ready now,’ Sophie says to everyone. ‘Thank you for coming out in the cold. This won’t take long.’ She raises her voice after a few women at the back shout that they can’t hear. ‘This won’t take long! It’s no secret that this hasn’t been an easy few months for us. There were some… let’s call them teething pains… adjusting to the new residents. But I think we’ve made an admirable job of it. So, to commemorate the home that we all love, we in the DIY club have made a new sign.’
With that, the men move apart so that we can all see a long sheet-covered sign on posts sunk into the grass. ‘Ready, Terence?’
Like a magician’s assistant, Terence obediently gives the sheet a yank.
THE HAPPY HOME FOR LADIES AND GENTS (also FRIENDSHIP HOUSE)
‘You’ve put the happy back!’ Laney cries. ‘That’s wonderful!’
‘Plus friendship,’ Dot adds, smiling at the men.
‘And it will be the Happy Home forever, right, Terence?’ Sophie says. ‘Go on, tell them.’
Terence, not normally bashful, actually looks like he’s blushing. ‘It’s not a big deal, just that I made a few changes legally so that the home can’t be sold off to any bloody developers for flats. It’s my house, and now it has to stay as our home. That’s the way Patricia wanted it. I should have done it years ago.’
‘Tamsyn won’t be happy,’ Nick says. We all know she’d sell the home out from under the residents.
‘Tamsyn can kiss my—’
‘Terence!’ I warn. ‘Though she already does,’ I murmur to June and Nick.
‘Tamsyn isn’t getting the home,’ he goes on. ‘As annoying as my son can be, he has paid his dues over the years. It’ll go to him when I die. Though he shouldn’t bank on that for a while, because I’m not going anywhere yet. I’ve still got some living to do.’ At that, he smiles at Dot.
Maybe their truce is entering a new phase.
‘I think we’ve all got a lot of living to do,’ Dot answers. ‘And I’m glad we’re doing it together.’
‘Me too,’ I say, as Nick takes my hand.
The End
About the Author
Lilly Bartlett is the pen-name of Sunday Times and USA Today best-selling author, Michele Gorman, who writes best friend-girl power comedies under her own name.
Michele writes books packed with heart and humor. Call them beach books, summer reads or chick lit... readers and reviewers call them "feel good", "relatable" and "thought-provoking".
Michele was rais
ed in the US and now lives with her husband in London. She is very fond of naps, ice cream and Richard Curtis films but objects to spiders and the word "portion".
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The Not So Perfect Plan to Save Friendship House: An uplifting romantic comedy Page 25