“I saw your boat caught on some snags across the river. It was empty! Bryan must’ve capsized.”
Fiona sat up straight in her chair. “Calm down. Let’s think a minute. He said he was going up stream. He wanted to hike into Quartz Lake. The boat must’ve come loose.”
“Oh God.”
“One thing for sure, they’ll have to swim the river to hike home. They’ll be freezing. Drive up the road. You’ll find them.”
Teagan rushed for the door.
“Just a minute,” Fiona said. “Give me Charlie and take the wool blankets. Hurry. Hurry.”
Bryan stared at the spot on the river bank where TJ had tied the fishing boat to what was left of a driftwood log. “I should’ve checked the knot.” He cursed his negligence.
TJ stood beside him like a lost puppy. “I tied it good.”
Aggravation crowded Bryan. “It didn’t just fly away.”
TJ’s chin jutted higher. “Maybe someone stole it.”
Bryan jabbed his thumb at dun-colored rock cliffs which rose sharply behind them. “You really think some idiot climbed down from those or swam across the river to steal our boat?”
“I’m telling ya it didn’t come loose by itself.” TJ’s forehead furled deeper. “What’s the big deal? Call for help.”
Bryan pulled his cell phone from his jacket pocket and checked the message window. No signal. “Sorry, we’re on our own.” His breath fogged between them. It was cold and getting colder, same as the shadows were getting longer with the setting sun. He should’ve started down the mountain earlier.
“Gawking at the river ain’t going to change things,” TJ muttered. “What are we going to do?”
“Swim across. Think you can handle that current?”
“Me and my brother used to paddled around in the stock ponds, but never anything fast moving.”
At last, a mention of a family member. All day, TJ artfully dodged all questions about his personal life. “Brother?”
“I’m a twin,” TJ said flatly and kicked at the river-washed log. His foot bounced off the solid wood. “If we broke a big chunk from this tree, I could float across.”
“You carry a chainsaw in your hip pocket?”
TJ continued kicking the log in different places; the thuds sounded solid, not at all hollow.
Bryan shook his head in disbelief. “You actually think you can split that log?”
“Beats standing around waiting for the river to part.”
Bryan chuckled. “We’ll find an easier crossing.” He rapidly crossed to a shale ledge and scrambled upwards without a backward glance.
TJ struggled to keep up. “Aren’t we going the wrong way? Cabin’s that-a-away.”
“South of here the river cuts too close to the cliffs. Farther north, it widens and the current isn’t so swift.” Bryan spotted a deer trail on the far side of a narrow trough filled with knee-high quack grass and clover. Dry seed pods and nettles whipped against his pant legs and stuck to the fabric as he plowed through. After he gained the trail, he quickened his pace.
In the twilight, with the sounds of the river on one side and the silent mountain on the other, Bryan’s failed marriage seemed far away. The only real worries were his grandmother’s health and TJ’s unknown crime; and those were beyond control. All he could do was to help both the best he could. A peace descended, one like after a tough decision has been fought through and an agreement made.
Night deepened before the river finally widened and the trail led back to the bank. Bryan jumped down to the river bed and picked his way across on the shadowy rocks to the edge where they would wade into the frigid steel-colored water. Illuminated by a harvest moon, a screeching nighthawk soared among the trees on the far bank; fish splashed in the shallows.
TJ pushed past Bryan and stood at the edge of a glacier fed river, looking scared as hell. He should be.
Bryan asked, “Before we swim across, you want to tell me what you did?”
“You think I did something?”
“You ran from the police.”
“I’m not a criminal. I just didn’t want to talk to them.”
“You can’t expect me to believe you jumped over a bank and ran just to avoid conversation.”
TJ waded in ankle deep. “You own any secrets I can write on your tombstone if you drown?”
“Take off your jacket. It’ll weigh you down.”
TJ tossed it on the rocks. “Anything else or are we going to do this?”
Bryan shed his coat and splashed into the river. Icy liquid filled his boots and seeped around his toes. The underwater rocks were slimy and his boot heels slipped against them. The current pulled at his pant legs and threatened to knock him over.
TJ struggled to keep his footing as the water inched up to their thighs.
“Move fast,” Bryan ordered. “It’s easier to keep your balance.”
The water reached waist high. “That’s it!” TJ tried to turn around, floundered and fell.
Bryan hauled him upright. “You wanna drown?”
“I can’t make it.” TJ’s teeth chattered and he shook violently.
“You can!” Bryan gripped TJ’s arm and propelled him forward until the water rose to their arm pits. “Now paddle like hell!” The current swept them downstream. With a wad of TJ’s shirt knotted in his hand, Bryan guided them out into deep water, working for the shallows on the far side. TJ paddled furiously, his nose barely above water. Finally, their feet touched bottom, and they splashed from the river. Their breath froze above them. Wet, heavy clothes stuck to their skin.
“The road is just beyond these trees.” Bryan loped into a mass of dark shapes. Brush swiped at his legs as he instinctively swerved from large trunks in the dark.
TJ thrashed behind.
Car lights flickered then disappeared in a bend. “Hurry,” Bryan yelled. “Car coming.” They crashed through brush and over deadfall to a steep bank leading up to the road. Loose gravel rattled down behind them as they clawed upwards.
More agile, TJ cleared the top first and yelled, “Come on!”
Bryan scrambled to the flat ground as the headlights broke into view. They ran, waving their arms. The car skidded to a stop and a woman got out.
“I always figured I’d be the one rescued from frigid water,” she said.
Bryan couldn’t believe it. “Teagan?”
“Fiona figured you lost your boat so she sent a guardian angel with wool blankets. Better strip off those wet clothes.”
TJ’s jaw dropped. “I’m not--”
“You are.” She turned her back on them.
TJ and Bryan stripped. They wrapped the scratchy blankets around their shivering bodies and piled into the car, TJ in the back, Bryan in the passenger side of the front.
Teagan slid behind the wheel and made a U-turn.
“I can’t believe it’s you,” Bryan said softly. He wanted to reach out and touch her cheek, caress her skin. “Where the hell did you come from.”
“You’re shaking like you just swam in the Bering Sea.” But it was her voice that shook. “Hold the blanket tighter.”
Bryan could not keep his eyes from her shadowed face. The dash lights revealed the profile he remembered, and he soaked in the look of her – so familiar yet strange. Nine years hadn’t changed the hollow of her cheeks or the small hook to her nose, but those years added maturity.
“You’re the same,” he said. “Older but . . . ”
“Wiser,” she finished for him, and then added, “That I am.” A tiny tremor escaped in her teasing.
She’s nervous, he thought, as jittery as I am. Hard pressed not to pitch TJ out the window and grab her, he tightened the blanket around him.
Teagan enjoyed Bryan’s discomfort. He kept shooting her bewildered glances and re-tucking the blanket around his shivering shoulders and legs. He just didn’t know where to start. Finally, she took pity and answered his unasked question. “I came to your grandmother for help.”
“I don’t understand.”
If only she could burst out and tell him about the babies and Erica, but TJ sitting in the backseat stopped her. “It’ll be easier to explain at the cabin.” She looked directly at Bryan in the dim glow of the dash lights and her heart buoyed with the same lightness and carefree spirit she always felt when he was near. Her insides went weak. Quickly, she glanced back to the road and concentrated on keeping in the middle of the gravel washboard as they snaked downward.
At the bottom of a steep decline, she couldn’t resist another sideways glance at his profile dimly highlighted. The fine line of the scar showed above his eyebrow. The mark bore witness to their journey into the snow-covered Cascades in search of cedar. His arms full of freshly cut bows, he’d slipped and a branch poked him when he fell. She’d dropped to her knees onto bows fragrant with cedar and held icy crystals to his forehead to stem the bleeding. They lay together, joking that this year her homemade wreaths cost only his blood.
After the next curve, she glanced again at the man - her soul mate. She knew every plane of his body, every soft spot, and every corded muscle. The reaches of his mind matched hers. She understood his need for the high places, believed in his quest for solitude, and shared his selfishness in attaining them.
And this was the man who married someone else.
The need to despise him was desperate, but how much longer could her true feelings be denied? One sight of him and the emotions flooded back. Trying to forget hadn’t worked. The simple sound of his voice turned her to mush. She didn’t know why, only that it did, and she cherished the emotions.
“Watch the road!” His voice rang sharper than it needed to be.
Teagan jerked the wheel. Her neck flushed with heat. She didn’t glance at him again; not even after she parked and followed them inside the cabin.
Fiona waited in her chair, smiling with apparent relief at Bryan. The babies were nowhere in sight. Teagan caught Fiona’s eyes and received a signal that they were in the bedroom. Without a word, she hurried to check Charlie. He slept peacefully in a corner on folded sleeping bags, with Jimmy and Levi beside him. Tears flooded her eyes. Then she realized, this time her tears fell not for what was, but for what wasn’t. Charlie should be Bryan’s child. The thought stirred her remaining frustration. “But who wants a bull-headed, selfish, stubborn man like that to father anything?” she asked Charlie. “We haven’t seen each other for years, and already he snaps at me.”
Fiona stood in the doorway. “Care to tell me why you look like you just bit a nail in two?”
“Your grandson hasn’t changed at all.”
“You wanted him to?”
“He ordered me to watch the road.”
“You were driving without looking?”
Teagan drew her lips down to control a threatening smile. “Straight at the ditch.”
“You wanted to call a wrecker?”
“I wanted him to hold me. And that makes me furious.”
A wise knowing reflected in Fiona’s eyes. “I figured you and the babies could have this room. I’ll sleep fine in my chair.”
“I’m leaving tonight.”
“You need sleep, and I’m not even sure you should go. One part of me doubts you can do anything against this killer cop and another says the best way to help is to keep the boys hidden so you can try.”
“Somehow I’ll find a way. The quicker Erica is behind bars, the faster I can return.”
“You talked to Bryan yet?”
“Couldn’t.”
“I’ll send him in so you can introduce the babies.” Fiona slipped away as noiselessly as she’d entered.
Teagan knelt beside Charlie. She straightened his blanket, kissed her finger and pressed it tenderly against his forehead. He wiggled, but settled back into sleep. Levi’s blanket was still tucked, as was Jimmy’s. Their peaceful breathing spoke of dependence. How could she leave? Bryan’s footsteps sounded behind her; and she felt his nearness, and understood his silence. She turned.
Bryan’s stance appeared relaxed, his expression soft, eyes liquid. “You have a child?”
“Charlie.” She lightly patted the blanket where his diapered rump should be. “These two belong to my friends. This is Jimmy and over here is great big Levi.”
Her eyes caught Bryan’s, and in the briefest moment, she saw an unguarded caring.
His glance returned to the babies. “You bore a son without me.”
“You married without me.”
“That says it all, doesn’t it?” He knelt down beside her and wrapped her in his arms. “I’m sorry.”
Teagan leaned against his chest and allowed him to hold her. The flannel of his shirt smelled of wood smoke – an aroma of long ago. She closed her eyes and soaked up the feeling of protection like a saltwater sponge. But it couldn’t last, she had to leave, and his anger would rekindle, destroying any chance of overcoming the pain between them.
Bryan cleared his throat and spoke against her hair. “Where is your husband?”
Teagan hated to admit her child was out of wedlock and add another piece of kindling to fuel his anger. “I didn’t marry,” she answered without looking up or moving her face from the safety of his chest.
Bryan squeezed her and remained silent, rocking them slightly.
She took a deep breath and just said it. “I need you to keep the babies for awhile.”
He stiffened. “Keep?”
She straightened up and faced him. “I have to return to Seattle and . . . .” Words failed her.
He searched her eyes for answers. “You’d better explain.” Disappointment rode in the depths of him. Or was it bitterness? He dropped his hands from her shoulders.
Her words poured out, spilling everything about the clinic, the accidental friendships, having babies together. Slowly it lay before him, as if she were spreading beach sand with a palm, circling it into wider ridges, leaving small lines marked with her identity.
She told him about Erica.
Bryan’s jaw locked when she explained the murder of her friends. “You mean to tell me you’re going back to confront a crazed killer? Teagan, call the police. Get help.”
“But I can’t. I ran with the boys and my footprint was in the blood.”
“Report her.”
“It’s my word against a cop’s. I’m sure the police are looking for me.”
“We’ll go to the local sheriff and explain.”
“What if they jail me and take my Charlie? They’ll send Jimmy and Levi back to Seattle.” Teagan felt an angry rush. “I’ve racked my brain until I can’t think and there’s no other solution. Erica has to be behind bars first. Do you trust me?”
“I don’t know. This is crazy.” Bryan rubbed his hand through his hair and slouched, his curled knees close to hers−almost touching.
His doubt was an accusation to her desertion so long ago. Teagan ignored the hurtful guilt and pushed the point. “Can I trust you to keep these boys, or will you call the sheriff as soon as I leave?” When he didn’t answer, she added, “It would be the same as killing them.”
“This Erica is really trying to harm them?”
Teagan thumped his leg with the side of her fist. “Yes! You should’ve seen her face when she ran across the parking lot. I don’t know how to explain it. Like a Gothic villain, all sharp angles and dark lines. She wants the boys and won’t let anything stand in her way.” Bryan’s lack of response annoyed her. “She shot at me! My pickup is full of bullet holes!”
“I’m trying to make sense of it.”
“It doesn’t make sense, but the boys have to be protected.” She reached for his hand.
Bryan watched her fingers entwine his. He hurt worse than ten years ago, yet he longed for the warmth of her touch. The woman he loved was the mother to another man’s child. Did she love this man? Did this affect Bryan’s love for her? Or did he just love the memory of them together? Bryan had no idea.
Even after the lost years, her fingers locked i
n his seemed natural, like they belonged there.
She squeezed tighter. “Charlie’s father packed and left as soon as I told him we were pregnant.”
Bryan groaned. Teagan had read his mind again. She always could.
One by one, he disengaged their fingers, placed her hand on her leg and tucked his under his arm, as though hiding it. “I can’t sit idly by while you return to Seattle and put yourself at the mercy of a bloody killer. God, I can’t even believe I said something like that.” He rose and stood over her. “I’m going to see the sheriff.”
Teagan jumped up; anger snapped from her. “Damn it, Bryan, you can’t!” He tried to step around her, but she blocked his way and took a deep breath. “If it’ll make you feel better, I’ll call Detective Lutavosky. I wanted to call him before I left, but was afraid.”
“My cell is in my jacket pocket on the other side of the river, but you can call from town.”
“I’ve told you that no one can know where they are.” She turned from him, dropped to her knees on the floor and leaned over her child. Hand trembling, she spread her fingers and rested her hand on her child, soaking up the feel of him. “Bryan, my son is in terrible danger, and you are the only person I can leave him with. You take care of Charlie until I come back.”
Bryan reached for her, desperate to stop the pain in her voice. But she slipped away to the doorway. At a loss to know what to do, or how to feel, he followed into the main room. He hadn’t seen Teagan for years, and suddenly she arrived, running from some psycho cop with three babies–a totally unbelievable situation.
Fiona pushed up from the chair. “Teagan, I packed some food for your trip. Is there anything else you need?”
“No, but Bryan will need to buy diapers soon.”
“I have some flannel sheets that we can cut to size if need be.”
Teagan’s eyes misted. “I have to keep in touch. Know everything about Charlie.”
“I’ll go for my phone in the morning.” Bryan wrote his number on a scrap of paper, then crossed to a corner cabinet and retrieved the Mauser from beside it. He reached for a box of shells on a shelf. “I’d feel better if you carried some protection. Still remember how to shoot?”
Maternal Harbor Page 21