Carefully Elsie lands on a dolphin’s back, saying hello to it, and asking for a ride. The dolphin stays above the water, as though it heard her, and they swim along for a long way before it turns, cheekily, throwing her off. She flits up before she hits the water and hovers, breathless, beside Tom.
“You look like you’re having fun.”
“I am. It’s not something I ever remember having before.” She flies off before she has to see the pity or sadness on his face and he watches her soar before flying to catch up with her. He takes her hand and they fly together, swirling and turning in the sky, somersaulting and spinning, landing just on the surface of the water, before shooting up in the sky until Meg can no longer see them.
Elsie is breathless when they land on the deck, colour in her cheeks and life in her eyes. Meg wipes a tear away. Elsie is straight by her side. “What Meg, what’s wrong?”
Meg shakes her head. “Absolutely nothing. I just love seeing you so happy, so free, so... alive.”
Tom runs a hand through his thick, floppy hair and grins. “I’ll get some stick for that. The crew rarely sees me at play.”
“I’m sure they’ll appreciate it, as did I,” Meg says, smiling at them, and watching the smiles that are being shared by the two of them.
“Fly with me, Meg!” Elsie pulls at her hand, bringing her to the edge of the deck.
Meg shakes her head, but then changes her mind. They gain height quickly and hover between the ship and Tom. Elsie has colour in her cheeks and her wings look strong and shimmery, not limp and under-used. “I love this, Meg!”
As Elsie flies with Meg, and Tom does tricks in the sky, the crew come out to watch, and soon they take to the sky too. The sea is full of dolphins, and a few mermaids who have come to see what all the noise is about, and the sky is full of flight.
The late afternoon sky becomes a riot of singing, laughing, flying tricks in the air, and the crew chanting “Cappy! Cappy! Cappy!” whenever Tom passes them.
Elsie laughs so many times that Meg loses track. Her eyes shine so brightly. Her cheeks flush so prettily. Her wings are ablaze. She is having the best few hours of her life, and when they all land on deck, the happy feeling clings to them and the surrounding air, like magic.
They are still smiling when food is brought out, and then they all sit together, crew, captain, Elsie and Meg.
“This is so good,” Elsie says, pulling apart soft, fresh bread.
“That would be thanks to Mark,” Tom says, pointing at the young lad, who is no older than her. He blushes and shakes his head, stuffing his face with food so he doesn’t have to speak.
Elsie smiles at him, aware that she looks at Tom the way this young boy is looking at her, and then she cannot look up from her plate for fear of blushing. She shifts slightly and knocks knees with Tom, feeling flustered and silly when she apologises. She has never sat so close to people before. “I just need a minute.” She pushes her chair out and the crew and Tom all stand. “Please sit and eat, I don’t want you to stand on ceremony throughout this entire journey. No bowing, no standing, no your majesty. Just, please, carry on as though we weren’t here.”
She walks out of the room, up a few steps and over to the side of the boat, holding onto the railings, and gulping in the fresh air. It’s dark now, and she can’t make out much ahead of them. It feels oppressive suddenly. She lifts off the floor, contemplating flying away, being alone in the air for a while, when a hand on her arm stops her.
“Don’t fly off. It isn’t always safe at night.”
Elsie looks at Tom, fear in her eyes. “Not safe?”
“You’re safe onboard, but there are sometimes bandits in the sky.”
“Bandits?”
He nods. “Pirates, we’ve been lucky, but I’ve heard of ships being attacked, crew members vanishing, I’m sorry, I don’t want to scare you, but I don’t want you flying off alone, either. I’d like to know where you are. Are you all right? You seemed a little... uncomfortable just now.”
“I was. I’ve been alone in a room with Meg for six years, I’m just not used to being so close to other people.”
“I cannot even imagine it. Was Meg allowed to leave?”
“She would leave every Sunday to visit family, and I would sit staring at the door until she came back.” She picks at a thread on her dress. “The room was so small; my world was so small. Even this ship feels like it’s too enormous for me. I’m not sure what to say to people or how to act. I’m afraid of saying the wrong thing, and I’m afraid that they all hate me.”
“They don’t. I know they don’t. I told them what you told me. They feel as sorry for you as I do.”
“I don’t want their pity. I feel pity for the fairies I’m leaving behind.”
He reaches out and touches her hair, just tucking it behind her ear, making her wings shiver when Meg interrupts them, startling Elsie and causing Tom to flush.
“The food is getting cold. We don’t want to insult Mark by ignoring his efforts, do we?”
“Absolutely not.”
Tom pulls away from Elsie and Meg takes her hand.
“Come on, butterfly.”
While they eat, the crew keeps them all entertained with stories of the things they have seen on their travels back and fore across the seas. Each of the crew members has a story to tell, a joke, a lark, an unimaginable tale, and for Elsie, who has seen nothing but the same four walls for six years, their tales are even more incredible than the stories Meg tells her. Her eyes are wide, her cheeks flushed. Sometimes she thinks they must be teasing her, but they all remain straight faced. “I don’t believe you,” she says to Tom, when he laughingly tells of the mermaid who tried to kill him when he accidently sailed into her cove. “She was very protective, very territorial. I’m telling you if I hadn’t flown away and got the ship out of there pretty quickly, I don’t know what she would have done. I’m not even convinced she was a mermaid; she might have been a deranged harpy.”
At this point Elsie spits out some of her drink, before covering her mouth, embarrassment colouring her cheeks.
This has the crew in stitches, and they then share the most disgusting series of burps, farts and crude jokes. Even Twitch who has been silent the whole time joins in, before Meg calls out to them to stop. She cannot hide her laughter or her shock, and this makes each of them laugh even harder.
“I’ll never leave the sea,” Mark says, clearing their plates.
Meg stands up to help him, but Tom puts up a hand in protest. “Please, while you’re on my ship, we look after you.”
And Tom and the rest of the crew clear up while the girls sip hot whiskey and watch the stars come out.
“I could get used to this,” Meg says.
Elsie nods. “Me too. Do you think Alwen would notice if I didn’t turn up?”
“I think so. They’ll be getting ready to celebrate, not only your arrival, but your upcoming wedding.”
“I wish I could choose a husband, instead of having a political marriage.” She cannot help but look wistfully at Tom as she talks.
“Princess, you have had your head turned a little here today, which you weren’t prepared for, but it was inevitable, if you think about it. You have been locked up for six years and now you’re in the company of a handsome young man, who looks at you the way you look at him. I’m sure you’ll get these same feelings when we get across the sea, and you meet Alwen. And, even if you were awarded the luxury of choosing your own match, you wouldn’t be able to choose a sailor. You’d have to choose a nobleman, from an important family, with connections.”
Elsie shrugs. She doesn’t want to face reality yet; she wants to pretend for just a little longer. If she tries hard enough, she can almost feel the touch of his skin on hers, her hand in his, his breath against her ear as he points out the different fish and then tells her how beautiful she is.
One of the crew, a man older than Tom, brings up his fiddle from his cabin and plays. Tom and Mark sing, and the tw
o remaining crew men clap and stamp along. Meg and Elsie are both clapping and laughing, and Elsie feels overcome with happiness. “I feel like I can’t breathe,” she says, turning to Meg, her eyes bright.
“It’s happiness you’re feeling, my lovely. Pure happiness.”
“I think I might die of it.”
“That’s dramatic, even for you. You won’t die, you’ll have a wonderful night, and a wonderful journey, you will talk and flirt and fall in love with this man, Tom, and you’ll always remember him, and then when you meet Alwen, you’ll do it all over again, but you won’t be so scared, you won’t feel so nervous, you’ll be ready.”
“You think I will fall in love with Tom? And you won’t try to stop me?”
“I don’t think I could. I think you’re already half in love with him, convinced that you could run off with him, sail the seas for your entire life, instead of marrying Alwen, and be happy for ever. I’m sure you look at him and imagine how pretty your children might be, or how glorious nights under the stars with him would be.”
“Meg!”
“Thoughts are not deeds, Elsie. And you can have all the thoughts you please. I won’t let you have anything other than thoughts, though. I have to protect you – you and your reputation. You will be as innocent when you end this journey as the day you begin it, this day.”
Elsie’s eyes fill with tears. “I really am so naïve. I imagined staying on this ship or running away. And I think our children would be beautiful. And you’re right, I will leave this ship as I have boarded it. Innocent, unhappy, and bound to do as I am told forever more.”
“You will not be unhappy. You will be happier for knowing Tom, for these flights of fancy you are having, for flying, as free as a butterfly, like you’ve never done before. If you look at a beautiful picture, you cannot look at it forever, but it changes you for looking at it. Do not close yourself from the wonders of this journey, from the joy you might get from it. Enjoy it, indulge in it, wallow in it, for it is so different to anything you know. You’re bound to feel giddy and light and full of possibility, and that feeling can go with you to your new life. Alwen doesn’t know you, neither do his family or his people. You can start a new life, with fresh ideas, and new courage.”
“Why do you believe in me more than I believe in myself? Why are you so kind to me?”
“Because I love you. You’re my family.”
“You’re my family too. I hope you know that.”
“I do.” Meg kisses Elsie on the cheek. “Now say goodnight to your handsome captain and his lovely crew. I think you’re more than ready for a rest. What a day it has been!”
Elsie accepts a kiss on her cheek from Tom, closing her eyes as his lips meet her skin, and wishing it was a proper kiss. She’s still blushing when Meg leads the way down to their cabin.
She puts Elsie into her nightdress and then stands behind her, brushing out her hair, before hugging her and tucking her into bed. “I’ll just tidy up, you sleep.”
Elsie turns to face the wall, listening to Meg bustle around the cabin as she readies herself for bed. As soon as she is sure Meg is sleeping soundly, she slips out of bed and up onto the deck.
The night air is freezing, but she likes it; it numbs her and distracts her from her racing thoughts. She watches the sky, the gloomy clouds zipping along, the birds swooping in front of the moon, and she listens to the sounds of the sea, the fish and the ship adding to the choppy waters.
She is glad she is leaving, and yet she cannot believe she gets to leave. Why should she be free when her step parents are abusing their subjects? She thinks about them now, distant figures, capable of locking two innocent children away and hurting who knows how many more people.
She sinks onto the floor, back against the railings as it dawns on her; she has been a prisoner. A prisoner in plain view of the Kingdom. Kept from her sibling, ignored by her step parents, loved and cared for only by Meg. Thank goodness Meg returned to her prison every week.
She’s crying again, the wind taking her sobs and the crisp night air punishing her, stinging her skin. She won’t move though. She can’t lie in a comfortable bed, dreaming sweetly, with no cares, now that she knows.
When Meg said that you can’t look at a beautiful picture forever, but it will change you from seeing it; that’s how she feels – this knowledge changes her.
How can she leave her kingdom, the place where she was born, when it’s in such a terrible mess? The sins of her step parents might not be hers to bear, but is it her responsibility to help?
According to Meg, nothing brings her step parents more happiness than abusing and suppressing their subjects and charging them for the pleasure! She shakes her head. She can still hardly believe what she’s been told, and yet she knows it is the truth.
And she gets to just walk away, fly away, sail away and forget all about it?
It doesn’t seem right. It isn’t right.
The sound of vomiting breaks the spell of silence around her, and she stands up and tiptoes towards the steps. She can fret in the cabin. She doesn’t want company.
“Princess?”
It’s Tom, and she cannot turn away from him. There’s something about him that she feels a pull to and it’s something that’s never happened to her before. She’s curious about her feelings for him.
She crosses the deck and stands across from him. Even in the pale light from the moon, she can see that he’s green. She cannot help but laugh that a ship’s captain gets seasick.
“You get seasick?”
He nods, shamefaced. “Every time.”
“Maybe you’re better suited to a life on dry land?”
“I couldn’t give up the sea. I love sailing. It’s the only time I feel happy.”
“And sick.”
“It’s worth it.”
She shakes her head at the logic of a stupid man. A handsome man. Then she remembers the tonic that Alyce sent with Meg, to stop her feeling sick. Her stomach feels the same as it does on dry land; she doesn’t think she’ll need them. “I have something for you. Our wise woman, Alyce, sent it with Meg in case I got sick. But I feel fine.”
“Wait until we hit the rough seas.”
“I cannot believe you sail every day of your life when it makes you feel like this. I will get word to Alyce and she can make you enough tonic to last you a lifetime; you’ll never be seasick again.”
“There’s no need, really.”
“There is. I cannot believe you haven’t tried to find a cure.”
His face darkens, and she cannot read his expression. “I’ve never wanted a cure. I...”
She takes a step closer to him, despite the sick. “What? Tell me.”
He shakes his head. “It’s nothing, just family...”
5
SHE CANNOT HELP BUT snort, and he laughs. “What?”
“Just what I found out about my family, my step parents, today. I still can’t understand it.”
He looks sad for a moment and then he reaches out and touches her arm, his fingers warm on her icy skin. “I can’t pretend to know how you feel.”
“So what do I do?”
“You cannot do anything. Your step parents are monsters. It would be a risk to your own life to go back to Allaire, to confront them, to...” He shakes his head. “I don’t even know what you think you could do or say to change them.”
“Nothing, I suppose. I just feel terrible, sailing away while the Kingdom is in ruins.”
“You didn’t ruin it and you cannot save it.”
She is silent. She has no answer, and no way to explain why she feels the way she does, why the knowledge of what’s going on, what was going on under her nose, has made her feel so sick, so responsible and so cowardly for turning her back on her home.
“My family are all clipped,” he says, his voice low.
She spins around to look at him, horror clear in her expression. “I’m so sorry.”
“It’s not your fault. It’s your step
parent’s fault. Everybody hates them.”
“I guess they do.” She slumps onto the floor, feeling helpless and hopeless. Tom hunkers down beside her. “I’ll move away from you if I need to be sick.”
“Thanks.”
He laughs at the despondency in her voice and then looks contrite when more tears spill over. “I’m sorry. I was trying to reassure you.”
“I’m sure. My entire life changed today. First, they let me out of my prison after six years. Then I was told what’s been happening in Allaire. All the good my parents did, my grandparents did, has been undone. You know, I thought they locked me up because there was something wrong with me, because they hated me. Now I know they hate everybody, I don’t know whether to feel better or worse. I never tried to escape from my room. What does that say about me and how compliant I am!”
“I don’t think it says anything. How old were you when they locked you up?”
“Ten.”
“Ten years old, with both your parents dead. What could you have done?”
“I’m not ten now. I should do something.”
“You’re not ten, but you’re still no match for them. I’ll get you safely across the sea, and then you’ll start your new life, you can’t punish yourself...” He looks away from her, and sighs. “The reason I don’t find a cure for my sea sickness is because I feel guilty. Guilty that I got to keep my wings when my entire family was clipped.”
“Atonement?”
“Exactly.”
“That’s how I feel. It isn’t right that I just get to leave, while all of those people have to stay there and endure such awful things at the hands of my step parents.”
“But that’s the point. It’s not at your behest. Please, if one person gets to escape and live a wonderful life, then why shouldn’t it be you?”
“Because I don’t deserve it. I’m a princess. That makes me culpable.”
The Rise of the Fairy Queen (The Fairy Queen Trilogy Book 1) Page 4