“I can’t believe you did this.” Elsie gives the piece of wing back.
“I wonder too if I did it and it was still attached if it would grow back the same shape. I don’t know if I could do it.”
“Does anyone else know you can do this?”
“Only Bronwen and Gwenna.”
“This is incredible. When I’m queen, I want to fix everything my step parents have done, and healing the broken wings is one thing I desperately want to do. Will you keep trying to see if you can do it?”
Aster nods.
“I’ll ask Hardy if we can find someone who has just been clipped and bring them to you. This is so exciting. Imagine if you could undo all the harm that’s been done to so many.”
“I would love that.”
The girls hold hands and squeal. “I’m so excited. I’m excited to fight and I’m excited that you can heal. This is such a gift you have.”
Aster shrugs. “Not my doing, but I’m grateful.”
“It’s wonderful. You’re wonderful. Now can you help me? I don’t know enough people here to gather all the women who want to fight.”
“I can help you.”
“And Norah should be able to help with fairies who aren’t in the troupe. I will try to find her later, so she can do it by tomorrow. But you think we should keep it quiet?”
“I do. I definitely do.”
“I trust you. You know more than I do. I’ve been locked up for such a long time I have no idea what’s what.”
“It must have been terrible.”
“It was all right. Because of Meg, it was all right. Sorry.” Elsie apologises because the tears have started. Aster hugs her.
“Oh, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have brought it up.”
“It’s fine, it’s fine. I keep thinking I can hear her voice. I keep waiting for her to take my hand and show me what I should do next.”
“It’ll get easier. Oh, I have something.” She holds up a hand and then turns her back on Elsie, rummaging through a gigantic box of bottles. “I have. No. Wait. Not that one. This one. No. Here.”
She turns around and passes a bottle of pink liquid to Elsie. “My mum died last year. I made this for myself. It helps.”
“What does it do?” Elsie takes the bottle, opens it up and smells it. “It smells lovely.”
“It helps, it soothes, it stops you from feeling too sad but it doesn’t numb you. I wanted to miss my mum and think about her and remember all the lovely things about her; and the sadness too. But I couldn’t function when I felt so sick and so scared and so worried, and I kept replaying things over and over in my head. Bronwen told me to make myself something, just as I would if I was making it for someone else. It worked. I felt better. I still take a little now and then.”
“Do you need it, then? I don’t want to take it off you-”
Aster shakes her head. “No, it’s fine. I think I’m ready. And it’ll be nice to help someone else. It’s what my healing’s for. Bronwen keeps reminding me I can’t be bashful about my gifts because it’s not showing off to help people. It’s kind.”
“It is. Thank you. I need help.”
“And purpose.”
“What?”
“Sad people need purpose. We only give up when we have no hope. And as long as we have purpose, then we have hope. This rebellion is giving you hope. Hope that your step parents might stop. Hope that maybe I can fix the broken wings. Hope that you might rule.”
“Will you come to the castle if I’m queen?”
“What for?”
“To be my wise woman, my healer?”
Aster stands up a little straighter; her smile is a little wider. “It would honour me. Oh Elsie. Bronwen always tells me that my time will come and that I’ll know what I’m meant to do when I’m meant to do it. She says to keep my eyes open because opportunities always come up and now you’re here. And you’ll be queen and I’ll be your helper. And we’ll all learn to fight.”
They are both beaming at each other, when Gwenna pokes her head through the tent opening.
“I wondered where you two got to. Did you show her, Aster?”
Aster nods.
“What do you think, Elsie?”
“I think it’s amazing.”
Gwenna grins. “Are you wanting to go home now or eat first?”
“I’ll go back to Maud’s, if you don’t mind. Thank you, though.”
“Oh, she’ll feed you better than we ever could.” Gwenna laughs. “Will you take her, Aster?”
Aster nods, and Elsie grins. She knows who she needs to talk to next, and she knows it might not be easy.
19
“ASTER. I WANT YOU TO take me to see Bella. I can’t quite remember how to get to the cave. Do you know?”
Aster nods. “Bella? You want to see Hardy’s Bella?”
Elsie nods. “Do you know her?”
“I’ve met her. She’s frightening. I mean, I’m sure she’s lovely. I just, she just-”
“I know what you mean. That’s how I feel about her too. And she doesn’t like me.”
“Why? What did she do?”
“She was just mean. Snarky. And she broke up with Hardy. But she’s also the best fighter.”
“I heard that too. It’s strange that he didn’t want her to be part of his rebellion. If she’s that good.”
“I think it’s just men, thinking girls don’t fight.”
“Maybe. Are you sure though?”
“I am.”
“Won’t Hardy see you?”
“I hope not.”
“Come on.”
Aster leads the way, and Elsie is glad; she would have definitely got lost if she’d tried to find the way on her own.
“Will you come tomorrow and bring as many females from the troupe as you can?”
“Where?”
Elsie tries to think of somewhere in her Kingdom they could go. Somewhere she used to go to a long time ago, before she was locked up, somewhere lots of people could meet up and not be seen.
“Apple Valley?”
Aster looks sad. “There aren’t any apples there now.”
“Then it’ll serve as a reminder of why we want to do this.”
Aster nods. “Be careful with her. If she doesn’t like you.”
“I’ll be okay. I think maybe we want the same thing.”
Elsie closes her eyes for just a second, remembering Hardy’s lips on hers. They have more in common than Bella might like to accept or even know about.
“I’ll see you tomorrow. Don’t forget to take that potion.”
They hug and Aster flies off. Elsie takes a deep breath and walks as softly as she can into the cave. She can hear bustle and chatter and doesn’t want to be seen by Hardy; he’ll only think she’s spying on him because he wouldn’t let her come with him. She’s hoping to tuck out of the way, so nobody sees her until she sees Bella and somehow gets her attention.
She spots Ajo’s sister Anya and whistles. Anya looks, but so do a few other fairies, so Elsie ducks back out of sight. She sneaks a look and Anya is heading her way, a curious expression on her face.
“Elsie! I don’t know how, but I knew it was you. Come in, I’ll find Hardy, he’s holed up with Ajo somewhere.”
“No.” Elsie pulls Anya out of the cave and around the corner.
“What’s going on?”
“I want to talk to Bella. And you.”
“Why? You know Bella hates you – and she broke up with Hardy and he didn’t even try to talk her out of it.”
“I know nothing about that. I just had an idea and know you’ll help, and I think it would be good if Bella did too.”
“Good for Bella, or good for you?”
“Good for everyone.”
Anya shrugs and sighs. “Tell me and then I’ll tell you if it’s a good idea.”
“I want to fight.”
“And Hardy said no.”
“But I’m not going to listen to him. And – hopefully – neit
her are you, or Bella, or Norah or Aster or any of the other females in the Kingdom.”
“I don’t get it.”
“We will train to fight and join the rebellion.”
Anya laughs and shakes her head. “Elsie, sweetie, I know you’ve been locked up for a long time and you don’t really know how things work out here, but we’re not going to fight. Even if we could, the boys won’t let us.”
“The boys won’t let us. Since when do we have to do what the boys say?”
“Well...” Anya cannot answer but still looks sceptical.
Elsie needs to convince her; she will help to convince Bella. And Bella is the best fighter – the best female fighter – in the Kingdom. They’ll need her.
“What use is being able to fight if you’re never allowed to fight? And why should the boys or your brother or Hardy get to choose what we’re allowed to do? I saw Norah fight, she showed me what to do, and I bet she’s better than half the men in the Kingdom.”
“Probably. And Bella is better than all of them. I still don’t get your point.”
“Hardy reckons this rebellion is all about me. Now I’m here, the fairies finally have the courage to overthrow my step parents and put me in their place, but it’s crap if I’m not even allowed to help win the throne I’ll end up sitting on. Why do we have to sit back and watch the men fight and win and get all the glory?”
“What if they fight and lose?”
“What if they do? What if we do? At least we’ll have been part of it, and not just bystanders. I’ve spent years being unable to do anything. I’ve had to sit and wait for my wedding before they’d let me out of the castle. Now I’m out and someone else is trying to tell me what to do. Doesn’t it annoy you that Ajo gets to have all the fun?”
Anya nods. “It does. I just, well, I just never thought to change it.”
“So let’s do it now. There’s enough of us we could fight back. We could insist on being part of it. We’re meeting tomorrow. In Apple Valley. Norah, Aster, and as many of the troupe as she can convince. You can help her. We want as many women as we can get, young, old, it doesn’t matter. But if we have outstanding fighters who can help us and train us and we all show up, the men will have to listen to us. Hardy will have to listen to us.”
“I’ll fetch Bella. I’m not convinced she’ll listen to me. Or you. She’s angry about you and Hardy.”
“Me and Hardy?”
“He made it clear when she broke up with him he was happy to be free. I think he’s got designs on you. On the throne, maybe.”
Elsie shakes her head. That can’t be right. She can see his face close to hers, as though he’s right there with her; she can feel his lips on hers as though he’s still kissing her. She refuses to look at Anya. “Get Bella.”
Anya flits inside the cave and Elsie flies back and fore, her wings feeling so tired and the ache from being used something she’s not used to.
Bella comes out of the cave with Anya. She folds her arms across her chest and stares at Elsie, open hostility in her expression; she doesn’t hide it. Not one bit.
“What?”
Elsie holds up her hands. “I know you don’t like me though I don’t know why-”
Bella humphs and laughs, and Elsie ignores her and carries on with her pitch.
“But I know you’re the best female fighter in the Kingdom. Hardy told me.”
“Before or after he kissed you?”
“Kissed me?”
“I know him, Elsie. And I know that he’ll do anything for his ambition.”
“His ambition?”
“I might be the best fighter this Kingdom’s got, but did that mean he’d let me fight? No. And when you came along, suddenly he didn’t see us having a future together, suddenly he was prickly and awkward and mean and when I said I think we should take a break, he didn’t cry and sob and tell me he couldn’t live without me, which is pathetically what I was hoping for, he just walked away. I know him better than anyone Elsie, and if you tell me he hasn’t made a move on you yet, I wouldn’t even believe you.”
“He...” Elsie cannot think of anything to say. She’s clueless about love and lust and anything of a romantic nature. But she knows she feels something for Hardy, and she is sure he feels something for her. Was he just saying what she wanted to hear so he could be King?
Anya steps between them. “Can we talk about Hardy later? I’m feeling excited about what you suggested, Elsie. I want to know what Bella thinks.”
“Excited about what?”
“Elsie thinks we should all fight – all the females in the Kingdom who want to – fight in the rebellion and help win the throne for Elsie.”
“You think I want to help you win the throne, so you can sit on it with Hardy at your feet?”
“Bella! Put that aside for a minute.”
“I can’t. I love him and I have loved him for years, and as soon as this puppet comes along, he’s happy to see me go. Tell me he hasn’t kissed you.”
Elsie’s hands drop to her side, and she feels tears spring into her eyes. She wipes them away, feeling angry. And hurt. And confused.
“Did he kiss you?”
She nods and Bella throws up her arms. “See?” She’s shouting now. “I bet he’ll tell you he loves you next and that he wants to look after you and protect you and guide you, and then he’ll push Meg out of the way and he’ll be the only person you can turn to and-”
“Meg’s dead.”
Bella stops and turns to Elsie, a look of horror on her face. “Dead? How? I’m sorry, I didn’t know.”
“She was killed last night, by clippers.”
“Clippers? That’s...” she trails off, suddenly awkward, and shakes her head. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know. You must be devastated.”
“I am. What were you going to say?”
“Nothing.” Bella touches her arm and Elsie meets her eyes, nervous to see the hatred there. But it’s pity she sees instead.
“What Bella?” Anya nudges her with her hip. “What is it?”
“Nothing. I’m sure it’s nothing. It’s just not normal for the clippers to be out on a Tuesday. That’s all.”
Elsie is silent, and the tension between the three of them grows. Elsie shakes her head and frowns. “What Bella? Say it? Do you think it’s sketchy?”
Bella is still, but then nods. “I think it’s sketchy. Meg was the person you were closest to. She was someone you leaned on for support and comfort, and I’m sure you would have run any big decision past her. She would have been the voice of reason; she would have made the calls for you because she loved you and she had your best interests at heart. And now she’s gone.”
“And I’m alone.”
“And who will guide you now? Who will steer you right?”
Elsie closes her eyes. She cannot think straight. Is Bella right? Is there something more sinister going on?
“I’m sorry, I need to go.”
Without waiting for either girl to answer, and with no clue where she might end up, Elsie flies away. She flies up high until the sun is too bright for her eyes and then she swoops down, corkscrewing to the ground. Then she flies faster than she ever has before until she can see the sea. Then she drops into the docks and sits on a bench.
She has never felt so lost and alone before. Does she trust Hardy and his mother, who are both so nice and have been so kind to her? Does she trust Bella who hates her? Does she listen to Anya, who told her to be careful around Hardy?
Her own instincts are useless. She’s like a feather in the wind blowing this way and that wherever the breeze takes her.
Hardy kissed her. And that must mean he likes her.
But Bella says he wants to be King.
Anya says he would have killed her and Isla if they had still been in the castle and he could have got the uprising to happen.
She cannot think straight and she has no idea what to do next or who to turn to.
Meg. Who would have gained from her death? If
she listens to Bella, then it would be Hardy.
She closes her eyes and sees the warmth in his smile. He would never have hurt Meg. There’s no way.
The kiss felt too real. The look on his face mirrored her own, and she knows she feels something real for him. It might be new and unexplored and damn scary, but it’s real.
She watches the fairies go about their business and lets the sounds of the place fill her up. She cannot think straight and so she’s better not to think at all, not for a minute or two. She drinks in the place's smell, the sound of fairies talking and laughing, the sight of so many people, when she’s used to such peace. She likes it. It’s a joyful noise, a normal noise. People just going about their business. Nobody is paying her any attention.
She’s not the spark that’s leading to an uprising here.
She’s not the poor princess who was locked up and is now free.
She’s not the figurehead of a rebellion.
Or the future queen.
She’s nobody.
And for now, it’s refreshing.
She has to have a clear head and she can’t do that when she’s got Bella being mean to her or Hardy being kind to her. And if it all goes to plan – Hardy’s plan or anybody else’s – and she becomes queen, she will have to have some nous about her. She will have to start fine tuning her instincts now. She cannot run to a grown up any time she needs to decide.
Even if she’d like to.
“Who have we here? Princess?”
Elsie spins around and then has to stand up and take a step back to catch her breath.
“Jim!”
“Smelly Jim,” he says and takes a seat on the bench.
“Indeed.”
And oh, he is smelly. Her eyes are watering from the stench. And she can see no polite way to escape. She smiles at him as best she can, and he laughs. “Stay here.” He vanishes before she can protest and before she can fly away an unfamiliar man takes his place. An unfamiliar man, but a familiar one. He laughs at her confused expression.
The Rise of the Fairy Queen (The Fairy Queen Trilogy Book 1) Page 17