She stood. “Maybe I should go."
He went on as if she hadn't spoken. “The only good thing about you is that you haven't brought any children in this world to watch the destruction. Sure won't catch me having kids. It ends right here. When this heart gives out, that's it. That's it for this godforsaken family and good riddance."
"Dennis ... “she attempted.
"Shut up!” He pressed his hands over his ears like a child. “I don't want to hear the excuses that you've run away and he finds you. You wanted to be found. You think he loves you, that's why he hits you!"
Kiara clenched her hands at her sides. She knew her cousin needed to calm down. He couldn't be upset, and if the doctor found out, he might not let her visit. “You're wrong,” she muttered. He fell silent. “I know he hates me, maybe more than he hates himself. I don't feel like he's all I can get or that I somehow deserve this. Unlike your experience, my parents were wonderful. I miss them with all my heart, and regret every day I didn't go on that trip the time they were killed in that avalanche because I was too ill to go. Tragedy has followed this family like a curse. But I haven't given up. I believe that some day I will escape. I will experience love and happiness. I just don't know how to get free right now. But I will. I promise you, I will."
He waved his hand in disbelief, but he had calmed. The rant had tired him out. Now, he seemed to want to be left alone. Kiara lowered his bed some, pulled his blanket up to his chin and turned to leave. His words behind her, made her pause at the door.
"What happened to me happened so many years ago, Kiara. And some say I should have gotten over it by now, but the fact that I never have is a testament to how abuse destroys a life. If I have a few months left or a few years, it's too long to watch you let that man take your life a little at a time. Don't bother coming back. Not even Cajun cake is worth it."
* * * *
Hoisting her bag more securely on her shoulder, Kiara took the hour and a half bus ride out to the county, where she knew she would fare better in selling a few portraits and doing some bartering with the richer, but still frugal residents. Two strip malls were along her bus route, and if she humped it a mile, she could get over to the indoor mall. Right then, she didn't have enough to get home, let alone take another bus ride. She wasn't worried; she had done this a thousand times before.
She strolled along the walkway in the strip mall, looking for the ideal place. A pizza place, an insurance office, a hair and nails salon. She stopped. The painting of a hand on the door looked slightly worn and in peeking through the door to the interior, she saw that the only decor on the walls were a few advertisements. Bland. She slipped inside.
"May I help you?” the Asian woman asked as soon as she crossed the doorframe.
Kiara nodded. “Yes, please. I noticed your hand painting on the door as I passed by, and I'm sure I can be of help to you. Let me show you a few things..."
Twenty minutes later and she had a sale, but unfortunately, not only could she not start work on their busiest day, she wouldn't get paid a dime until the job was done. That meant she would need to raise the funds to come back out, plus gather enough paints to do the mural she had talked the woman into.
Squaring her shoulders for the next pitch, she started along the walk again, praying the next place would give her immediate work.
"Ms. Jackson!"
She stopped and turned at the young voice calling to her. Shading her eyes against the sun, she spotted Ayumi of all people on the other side of the street, holding a man's hand she didn't recognize. Disappointment that it wasn't her brother made Kiara smile, wave and then continue on.
"Wait, Ms. Jackson. Please."
She stopped once again. Before she knew what the girl intended, she broke away from the man holding her hand and hurled herself into Kiara's arms. Taken aback at the over-friendly manner when she had been shy and quiet when they met, Kiara stumbled and righted herself. “Hello, Ayumi."
The girl grinned up at her, face red with embarrassment. “Oh, sumimasen. I'm sorry. I have been speaking with Jiro-san about my lessons so much, I felt like I knew you. Please, don't be offended. I want to learn to draw well so much."
Kiara, overjoyed at the girl's enthusiasm, patted her face. “Don't worry. I'm not offended. I'm glad you're excited. I find people learn much faster and easier when they are excited about what they are doing.” She glanced up at the frowning man behind Ayumi who looked like he wanted to reprimand the girl but didn't in front of Kiara.
Ayumi leaned toward Kiara to whisper, “My babysitter. Don't mind him. He's a grump, and he treats me like a little kid. I'm nine for goodness sake and don't need my hand held to cross the street."
Kiara laughed. All semblance of respectful Japanese girl was gone to be replaced by a regular old American. She knew immediately that she liked Ayumi either way.
"Ms. Jackson, why don't you come to lunch with us? I would love to talk about what you will be teaching me on Tuesday.” Kiara laughed. Now the girl sounded like an adult.
"I'm sorry, sweetie. I have some errands to run. I'll have to take a rain check.” Kiara extracted herself from the girl's hold. “I will see you on Tuesday for sure, bright and early."
Like her brother, Kiara guessed, Ayumi was not used to taking no for an answer. “You can do errands any time, after lunch maybe. Come on, please?"
Kiara had been focusing on Ayumi and did not hear anyone come up, but when she heard his deep resonant voice, a shiver spread through her body. He spoke to Ayumi in Japanese, and she answered in the same. Kiara took her time straightening and turning to face him. Her heart fluttered. Today, he was dressed casually, although just as tastefully, in a collared shirt, shorts and sandals. The obligatory glasses hid his eyes.
"Forgive me.” He bowed. “Good afternoon, Kiara.” She pretended the funny way he said her name did nothing to her insides. “I asked my sister if she was bothering you. She informed me that she asked you to lunch, and you declined. May I ask why?"
Kiara blinked. He actually waited politely for her to respond, to offer a reasonable explanation for why should wouldn't join them. “I..."
"While I would never want to spoil my sister, I do not tell her no for the sake of it. So if there is nothing pressing that can't wait an hour, please allow her to take you to lunch."
"Her ... to ... take me?” She knew she sounded like a complete idiot. He made it sound like Ayumi had money of her own and would be treating Kiara.
He confirmed her thoughts. “Oh yes. Occasionally, Ayumi gets it into her head that she must return the kindnesses she feels I've heaped on her and she will then invite me to lunch. She pays with her own money. I graciously accept, although I take care of her as a duty and an honor. I love her deeply."
Kiara swallowed and tried to find words.
"Will you also honor my sister's request?"
Honor, she thought. She didn't understand much about their ways, she was sure, but she wanted to do just what he asked, honor Ayumi's request. “Okay, yes. I will."
He smiled, setting her off balance. “Good, it's settled."
* * * *
Jiro dismissed the ‘babysitter’ for the day and took Ayumi and Kiara up in his car. Lunch turned out to be at a restaurant that while it didn't have a dress code, it was quite expensive. The prices on the menus made her head spin, and out of habit, she scanned to find the cheapest.
Ayumi leaned over to her to speak in a loud whisper. “I always get the chicken fingers and fries. I've been to a million fancy restaurants all over the world, and most of them serve normal food along with that crazy stuff. You can't go wrong with chicken fingers."
Kiara laughed. “Sounds like a good idea, but shouldn't I try something I've never had?"
With a straight face, the young girl asked, “Have you ever had the chicken fingers here?"
"No."
She winked. “Then trust me. They are delicious. Get ranch dressing and honey mustard both.” She lowered her voice this time. “You
'll want to lick your fingers, but of course Jiro-san won't let you."
Kiara slapped a hand over her mouth and tears ran down her cheeks before she could stop laughing. Just two minutes in Ayumi's presence, and she had made her day. Yet, as soon as she met Jiro's eyes, her humor settled. She was too attracted to the man for her own good. She cleared her throat. “Sorry."
"No problem at all.” He grinned. “Ayumi has that affect on everyone she meets. I like seeing that beautiful smile of yours."
She fidgeted.
He held up his hands in surrender. “I'm sorry. That was crossing the line. Come, we'll talk of whatever you like, and I will not make inappropriate statements that make you uncomfortable. What would you like to talk about?"
Ayumi led the conversation with talk of art until their food arrived. Kiara had to agree. The food was good enough to lick her fingers, but she resisted with a wink at Ayumi. The girl was overjoyed at their little secret, making Kiara wonder where her mother was. She didn't ask.
"What do you do?” She had assumed this was a simple question, not prying in any way as people loved discussing what they did for a living, whether it was to complain about it or sing praises that they were lucky enough to be doing it at all. Jiro went stiff and quiet, and Ayumi began to hum pointedly while dipping her chicken in her sauce. “I...” she began.
He waved two fingers. “I work in the family business.” His tone told her to drop it. She did. “Tell me more about you? Any family?"
She hated talking about herself, but wanted the conversation to move smoothly. Besides, if she was forthcoming, maybe he would be. “Not much. My parents were killed hiking in the Chugach National Forest. An avalanche came down on them."
"Alaska?” he questioned knowledgeably.
She nodded with tears in her eyes, even after so many years. “Yes, I should have been there but I couldn't go. I was sick with a fever at the last minute before they flew out there. They left me with my cousin. My only living relative."
"I'm sorry. That must hurt still after so long."
"Yes, it feels like it was yesterday. They were so great, taking me everywhere, or as many places as my dad's money could afford. The Alaska adventure had been in the works for three years before we could go. I was disappointed, so angry with them for leaving me. I would have gone if I had to be carried on the plane."
"Mmm."
Not to be left out of the conversation, Ayumi spoke up. “I know how it feels to lose my parents too, Ms. Jackson. My parents were murdered. They—"
"Ayumi, enough!” her brother growled.
Kiara jumped. She stared at him in surprise, but he didn't appear to regret his meanness. Possibly he hurt just as bad as she did if their parents had been murdered. She studied Ayumi who sat sullen not sad in her chair. She shuffled apple pie and ice cream around on her plate, and Kiara suspected she had eaten too much before the dessert. A classic case of eyes bigger than the stomach, she guessed.
After a while, Jiro spoke again, calmer, back to his quietly kind voice. “My family is into the import-export business. We shift around anything from cars to computers. You name it, we have our fingers into it. It is big business, and I help to keep things running smoothly. It's what I have always known I would do and what I have been doing since I lost my twin brother and my parents, as Ayumi so indelicately stated. Now, family is everything to me. Our honor, our traditions come before all else, except for Ayumi."
Kiara tried to understand. “I'm so sorry for your loss. I can't even begin to imagine losing a sibling, let alone a twin. I can see how Ayumi has become everything to you. Do you mean if it was ever a question of your honor or Ayumi, you would choose her?"
He grinned. She bit her lip and he noticed, his eyebrow flicking upward with interest. “Yes, that's exactly what I mean. However, caring for her is one and the same."
What must it be like to be so absolutely loved that someone would die for me? Would give up everything to keep me safe?
Kiara stood. “Well, I thank you very much, Ayumi, for taking me to lunch. It's getting late, and I must go."
Jiro stood and bowed slightly. Kiara nodded her head. She thought he would settle the bill, but Ayumi clicked open her purse and pulled out a credit card. The cost of the meal and the tip was soon settled. On the sidewalk outside, Jiro asked, “May I offer you a ride home, Kiara?"
She shook her head. “No, thank you. I have some other things to do. If you could take me back to the strip mall where we met up, that would be great."
To her relief, he agreed without argument. She hugged Ayumi and shook his hand and was soon off on her trek to make money. At least her feet didn't hurt, and her belly was full. That was a huge bonus in itself. She was able to face the next few hours with a positive attitude that produced fifty-three dollars before she headed back to the city on the bus.
[Back to Table of Contents]
Chapter Three
Kiara stepped off the bus two blocks from her street, after an hour and a half ride. Even from her distance away, she could see Odell and friends camped out on the front steps of her building. Her heart sank. Most Saturdays, he disappeared for hours and didn't return until late at night. On those special occasions, he didn't come back for days.
Too soon, she walked up to the steps and greeted them all. Odell's friends didn't respect her because he didn't. One of the men looked her up and down with a sneer. She couldn't remember his name, nor did she try. “Damn, Kiara, you used to be hot, could bounce a quarter off that round ass. Now, you ain't worth shit. Odell, why do you keep her, man?"
Odell laughed. “She can cook."
Another guy slapped the first one in the back of the head. “Can't tell by looking at her."
They all fell out laughing while Odell frowned, and Kiara tried to squeeze by. He grabbed her ankle nearly making her fall over backward. “Where are you going?"
She hesitated. “In the house. I'm tired. I thought I would lay down a while before cleaning the house."
"No.” He stood up. “Get down here. We're going to see my mother. And where's that cake I smelled before? She might like a treat."
Kiara thought fast. If she admitted to taking it to her cousin, Odell would go off complaining she cared more about her family than his, which she did of course, but the admission need not be made. It would only set him off and cost her pain. She lied. “I screwed up on the measurements. I can make another real quick."
"Fine. Hurry up."
She scurried into the house trying to think what she would do for eggs. She had budgeted the dozen she picked up from the corner store as that twenty dollars wouldn't buy much food. Maybe if she skimped on Odell's morning omelet, she could make it work.
Flipping on the oven with one hand, she dug the other into the utility drawer by the sink for a book of matches. When she found them, she dropped to her knees and reached into the broiler section of the stove to light the pilot. “One day, I will never have to do this again,” she muttered.
The cake turned out well, and since she had made some money out in the county, she could maybe walk down to the grocery store a few blocks away to pick up a few cheaper items. Not many, though. She needed to start saving up for more bills. She sighed at the thought. Why couldn't one ever pay off the electric, the rent or any other ongoing bill? There should be a law.
She was soon strolling slightly behind Odell as they headed to his mother's house. Odell had had a car last year, given to him when his great uncle had gotten too old to drive. But Odell, living for the moment, decided to sell it for two hundred dollars to buy tickets to a concert he had been longing to attend. Now she had to listen to his incessant complaints about how much his feet hurt walking and what an idiot he had been for selling the car. She had to agree, but didn't voice that opinion out loud.
May, Odell's mother, lived just eight blocks from Kiara's apartment. That was both a blessing and curse. When Odell was in a mood, he wasn't above humping it to his mother's place for a day or two. When he want
ed to pretend he wasn't a loser and could hold onto a woman from sheer love, he dragged her along. May wasn't fooled.
"Kiara, baby!” she exclaimed when Kiara walked through the door. “I haven't seen you in ages. Come here, girl, and give me a hug.” She dragged Kiara into her arms, squeezing so tight it hurt. “Are you taking care of him, Kee?” she whispered.
Kiara cringed. She hated being called Kee, and only hoped Odell hadn't heard. He took great pleasure in tormenting her with the nickname when he remembered it, which thankfully wasn't often. She gave a vague nod and mumbled something she figured sounded in the affirmative.
Odell flopped on a chair near the TV and popped open the beer he had swiped from the frig. “Hey, Ma, you got a couple dollars until payday?"
May rolled her eyes, “You know damn well you ain't got a job, Odell. Why can't you be like your brother? He's a dentist, went to school and everything."
"Oh here we go,” he shouted. “Why can't you accept me for who I am? Why does it always have to be about me and Otis? Huh? Damn, I come to visit you and look what I get."
As usual, May's attitude changed in a heartbeat. She jabbed her hips with her hands and glowered at Kiara. “Girl, I don't get why you stay with him. He's my son and I'll always love him, but I couldn't take it. That's why I left his father years ago. Like father, like son."
"You gonna stop that talking about my father, Ma,” Odell threatened. Kiara sat down, rubbing her temple. Odell was all bark when it came to his mother. Like he said, she loved Otis more, but Odell was always trying to win her over. Too bad, he didn't get she would accept him if he didn't continue to remind her of her cheating husband. Kiara would be caught in the middle for the next hour until they ran out of insults to hurl at each other.
Loving Jiro Page 2