by Trina Solet
"Doesn't Ricky have any relatives on his father's side?" Nate asked. He looked over to where Ricky was now swinging from a branch while Georgie was trying to pull him down.
"He has some, but they aren't interested in him. Greta made sure no one could get their hands on Ricky's inheritance. That eliminated the greedy ones. The rest just haven't bothered with him."
"He's lucky he has you." Nate was now looking at Brent. He could see how much he cared.
"I'm lucky to have him," Brent said. "Greta didn't want me to adopt him. When I asked, she said, 'He has a father.' I didn't take it personally. She was never able to let go of her late husband."
Nate had already guessed that. From the pictures in Ricky's room and from the back of the book jacket, Nate had seen that Brent was a younger, more attractive version of the late James Morley. Choosing to marry Brent certainly wasn't a way to move on.
Brent continued to talk about Ricky.
"It wasn't just her devotion to her late husband that held back the adoption. She didn't want to accept that she couldn't beat the cancer. Once it became clear that she wouldn't make it, she wanted to be sure Ricky and Georgie wouldn't be separated. And I finally got to be Ricky's dad."
Brent smiled sadly then looked back toward the children. His smile brightened as he looked at them. Georgie was holding a bunch of white flowers while she chased Ricky.
"I think Ricky is like his mom," Brent said without taking his eyes off the kids. "Greta didn't want to let go of her late husband so she refused to have a real relationship, a real marriage. She didn't want to accept that she was dying until there was no denying it. And Ricky doesn't want to admit that she is gone. He doesn't want to let go of her hand and take mine."
"Even after all this time?" Nate said.
"It wasn't that long ago."
Then Nate remembered how long painful memories could grip your heart. When he was a kid, seeing a strange car parked in front of his house had scared him for years. He would rush inside to make sure that no one was there to give his mom bad news and make her cry. And all because one day a strange car brought the news that his father was dead. That sense of panic and dread stayed with him for so long. It always seemed like yesterday that the gray car was parked in their driveway, and he walked in to the sounds of his mother sobbing. It wasn't easy to let go of that kind of pain, to set aside bad memories and accept the good things in life.
As Nate was thinking this, Brent put an arm around him and leaned his head on his shoulder. Nate listened to the rushing of the river and to the screams of the children as they chased each other. Putting an arm around Brent, he drew him closer. With his free hand, he cupped Brent's face. Right away, he felt him smile. Brent was definitely one of the good things in life.
After they ate the bacon fritters, the kids got sticks and pretended to fish. Nate had found them a safe spot, and he and Brent watched them carefully. The kids did a lot of yelling. Georgie kept saying that she saw a big fish. Ricky told her that it wasn't a fish, and they argued about it. Nate stood in the shade of a tree and noticed Brent moving behind him. Brent must have felt brave with the kids preoccupied. He pressed himself against Nate's back and slid his hands around his waist.
"We're a good fit," Brent said in his ear. "You feel just right in my arms."
It was true. The corny phrase "made for each other" played in Nate's brain while his body tingled with anticipation. When he whispered, Brent's lips brushed against his ear, and Nate felt little shocks of electricity go through him. He was too keyed up if something like that could get him going. Brent kissed the side of his neck and drew his lips over the edge of his earlobe. The touch of his lips was teasing, but his arms were firm and strong around Nate. Nate ran his hands over them ending at Brent's hands. Brent stopped kissing him as if he was waiting to see if Nate would pull his hands apart and make him let go. But Nate had no intention of doing that, he just wanted more contact. To show him, Nate turned to face him. He enjoyed the sight of the uncertain look on his beautiful face before kissing him lightly. This was no time for anything more than that. A real kiss would have to wait.
The kids were hungry again as they drove in the general direction of home. Just as they were discussing where to go for dinner, they came across a small, fundraising fair in front of a middle school. They couldn't pass that up. Nate decided to pull over even before Georgie started screaming for him to go there.
The fair had bad rides and bad food, but the kids didn't care. Brent spent money like water, and the kids had fun. Anything they wanted was theirs unless Nate said no, which he did when he thought their little stomachs reached a greasy food limit. He didn't want them puking on the rides or on the drive home. They were exhausted and asleep by the time they arrived back at the house. That was a sure sign that they had a good time. Brent had fun too, and Nate hoped he would make a habit of sticking around.
As they drove home, Brent noticed how good Nate looked behind the wheel. As with everything else, the car didn't intimidate him. He impressed Brent so completely without ever trying, just by always being sure of himself. Now the streetlights played over his face, the light gliding over his handsome features. Brent wanted to reach for him, make him pull over. If only the kids weren't sleeping in the back. One of these nights they would have to go out, just the two of them.
Once they got back home, they carried the kids in, trying not to wake them. Nate cradled Georgie while Brent held Ricky. Both of them were still asleep until Brent had to open the door. That's when Ricky stirred. Seeing who was carrying him, Ricky started to squirm.
"Jeez, you were sleeping peacefully a minute ago," Brent said.
Now Ricky jumped out of his arms, and Brent made sure he landed safely. He then walked up the steps decisively next to Brent like that little boy contentedly curled up in Brent's arms a minute ago had nothing to do with him. After helping Nate get Georgie into her bed without waking her, Brent went to tuck in Ricky.
"Did you have fun?" Brent asked him as he sat on the edge of his bed.
Ricky said a quick and decisive yes.
"Nate is pretty great, huh?"
"He likes to read," Ricky said, and there was no greater compliment than that as far as he was concerned.
After lying quietly but with a frown on his face, Ricky asked, "Does he have a girlfriend?"
"No. And he wouldn't have a girlfriend. He would have a boyfriend," Brent told him. "Why do you ask?"
"Pam had a boyfriend, and she got married and went away."
"Nate doesn't have a boyfriend right now."
"OK." He seemed to be reassured by this.
Brent was glad Ricky liked Nate. He hadn't given it any thought when he hired him. Someone like Nate applying for the nanny job seemed so improbable, Brent just made a grab for him and left the thinking to John. That things worked out so well had to be just dumb luck. Or maybe Nate was right, and Brent had good instincts. He did have three amazing guys working for him, and he hadn't given hiring any of them even two seconds of thought. Thinking back, Brent realized that he had asked Greta to let him adopt Ricky the same way. And at first, he had trusted her to make the right decision, even after she rejected him. In those days, Brent tried to empty his head of thoughts of what would happen when Greta was gone. But as she got worse, he became more determined to make Ricky his son. Partly it was for Georgie's sake. Mainly he was afraid that after Greta was gone, someone with a better claim would come along and take Ricky away from him. Brent couldn't stand to lose him too. Ricky was standoffish and sometimes difficult, but Brent was too attached to him to let him go. He was incredibly relieved when Greta finally agreed to the adoption. He just wished it could have been at a happier time.
While he was lost in thought, Brent saw that Ricky had fallen asleep. He looked kind of funny with his mouth open and the gaps between his teeth showing. Without realizing it, Brent had taken his hand and he still held it. Ricky's hand was small and warm in his. Brent let it go gently so he wouldn't wake him.
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Brent wondered where Nate had gone. He was in the loft looking at a photo.
"See. He knows how to smile," Brent said as he saw that Nate held a picture of him and Ricky, who was about two years old at the time. Both of them had big smiles on their faces.
"Ricky looks happy there," Nate noticed.
"That's from out trip to Brussels. We both went with Greta on one of her business trips. Linh, that was Ricky's nanny at that time, couldn't go with us because of some passport issue. Greta was busy so it was just me and Ricky for most of that trip. It was the longest time we ever spent together. We had a blast. He would yell 'Brussels sprouts' any time I asked. Otherwise Ricky was still the same quiet kid we know and love." That trip was part of an idyllic time. They went to some kid friendly museums, visited parks and the zoo. Brent would hold Ricky's hand all the time or carry him when he got tired. He believed they were getting closer. For his part, Brent was becoming seriously attached to this smart, solemn little kid. Greta was already pregnant with Georgie. She seemed to be in perfect health. It wasn't long after that trip that the good times ended.
"Would you rather be somewhere else right now?" Nate asked suddenly.
"What? No," Brent said and wondered why Nate would ask that.
"You just look kind of gloomy and far away," Nate said to explain. "I thought maybe you missed playing with the big boys. It is Saturday night."
"I don't need anyone else as long as I have you," Brent didn't hesitate to say. He was comfortable telling the truth since he didn't expect Nate to believe him. And he sure as hell didn't expect Nate to kiss him. Nate touched the side of his face as his tongue parted Brent's lips. Brent leaned in wanting it deeper. When the kiss ended, he clutched at Nate. He must have looked desperate because Nate told him, "Easy. There's more where that came from. An endless supply actually."
"Do you know what kind of promise you just made me?" Brent asked. He wondered if Nate was saying more than he meant to say. But no. This was Nate. He didn't second-guess himself or blurt things out without thinking. Before going to his room, he gave Brent a confident smile that said that he knew what he wanted. And also that Brent wasn't getting any tonight.
Chapter 10
On Sunday morning, Nate didn't open his eyes right away. He relived the kiss from last night. It was so vivid that it made Nate breathe hard. A kiss had never stayed with him like that. Just a press of his lips against Brent's, the combination of soft and hard, the underlying passion that threatened to burst. His heart pounded in his chest and he was flooded with lust. The kiss suddenly broken, Nate stayed still catching his breath, getting himself under control. He almost felt like someone else had ended it, not him. Nate saw Brent looking at him desperately, like he was asking him something and telling him something at the same time. Nate remembered his promise with a smile.
Nate found Ricky in his room, but Georgie wasn't in hers. Nate enlisted Ricky to help him look for her. They found her in one of the guest rooms, peering into the walk-in closet.
"Don't touch them," Ricky warned her as he ran over.
"I wasn't!" she said defensively.
Nate went in to see what this was about. Georgie showed him dozens of white boxes of different sizes stacked in the closet. They were marked with dates, all of them March 12 but with different years starting with the next.
"They are presents from Mommy," Georgie said.
"They are not presents. They are memory boxes," Ricky corrected her.
"They have presents inside," Georgie insisted.
"Not just presents. They have messages to help us remember," he said to Georgie then turned to Nate to explain. "Like how Mommy called Georgie her baby sunshine because she was always smiling," Ricky explained.
"And what did she call you?" Nate asked.
"Mommy called me peanut."
"Peanut butter," Georgie said.
"No. Peanut," Ricky told her.
"And when you were a baby? Did she call you baby peanut?" Nate asked.
"I don't know. It was a long time ago when I was a baby," Ricky said.
"We can ask Brent." Nate wasn't sure he would know but decided to give it a shot.
It turned out that Brent did know. At breakfast, he told Ricky about it.
"You know how your mom called you peanut."
Ricky nodded.
"When you were really little, she called you itty bitty peanut."
Ricky made an embarrassed face at the nickname, but he also smiled. Brent ruffled his hair.
When they were left alone, Nate told Brent that the kids had shown him the memory boxes.
"They are for the kids to open together on Greta's birthday. When they opened the first one, I got a surprise. I thought it was just for the kids. But then Ricky handed me an envelope with my name on it and there was a bottle of my favorite wine. The envelope had a short note from Greta. I could hear her voice so clearly when I read it. It said 'Drink a glass to me then drink the rest just for fun. If you don't have anyone special to share it with, I hope you soon will.'"
Nate could see how touched he was.
"Were you even old enough to drink?" Nate asked him.
"Almost."
It was strange for Nate to think how young he was then. Nate couldn't imagine being married. At that age, he was in college, which reminded him that he still was and of all the reading he had to do. He left Brent to clean up after breakfast and went to the library.
When Nate took a break and went to get himself something to drink, he found Ricky and Georgie having fun in the kitchen. They were chasing each other around and throwing grapes.
"What are you guys doing? Grapes are for eating," Nate told them.
"This is better," Georgie said.
Ricky had stopped but Georgie was still throwing grapes at him. He ducked most of them. Nate took the bunch of grapes away from her.
"Who is going to pick up all these," Nate asked, seeing all the grapes rolling around on the floor. "You guys, that's who's going to pick them up. Start right now. I want every single grape off the floor."
Ricky did as he was told, but Georgie had a better idea – stomping on the grapes. Nate picked her up as soon as she raised her foot but before she brought it down.
"You want to make an even bigger mess?" Nate said to her.
She nodded.
"You can either pick up the grapes or get a time-out," Nate told her.
"Pick them up. Don't get in trouble," Ricky pleaded with her. He hated to see her get punished. Nate noticed that between them only Ricky worried about that, and he worried about both of them.
Either the threat or the pleading worked, Georgie picked up some grapes but not even close to her fair share.
Ricky followed Nate back to the library. He seemed to like to do his reading in Nate's company. Sometimes he sat at the desk across from the one Nate used. Georgie didn't get her fill of excitement. She left Nate and Ricky to some quiet time in the library while she went to pester her dad. Nate got some work done before she came back. First she wanted to know if Nate's book had any pictures. He showed her a map or two, and she looked at him indignantly. Seeing that Nate wasn't worth bothering, she went to her brother and demanded a story. Ricky sighed and then started reading. Georgie rolled around on the carpet while Ricky read to her. Sometimes she would ask, "What's happening?" Then Ricky would stop and retell the story as he understood it or misunderstood it.
Nate left them like that and went in search of a book he was sure he packed but couldn't find. Still empty-handed, he came down the stairs to Georgie crying while John held her. Ricky stood nearby, looking confused and guilty.
"But she's not real, honey," John was telling Georgie. His words had no effect.
"What's going on?" Nate asked.
"I came in and heard her crying. Ricky was reading the story of The Little Match Girl and..." John tried to explain, but Georgie's wail interrupted him.
"She died!" Georgie cried.
"But it's OK. She isn't real," Jo
hn said.
Georgie just kept sobbing. Her eyes dripped with tears.
"Well, that clearly isn't working," Brent said appearing next to them. He took Georgie from John, who said, "Sorry." He handed over Georgie and the tissue he had been using to wipe her nose.
"Why is my girl crying?" Brent asked while Georgie hugged his neck and cried louder.
Seeing Brent holding the crying Georgie, Ricky looked like he was going to cry too then he ran off. Nate followed him to make sure he didn't go far. He tried the library first, but he found Ricky in one of the sitting rooms, curled up in a big armchair with his feet up. Nate decided not to talk to him himself. When he went back to Brent and Georgie, he heard her explaining about the story while Brent consoled her in his own way.
"She was cold."
"Oh, the poor thing," Brent said."
"They didn't help," Georgie said.
"Who didn't?"
"The mean people."
"We'll beat them up," Brent said.
"I hate the mean people. Beat them up, Daddy."
"I can take her," Nate said. "You better go after Ricky. He might think he's in trouble."
"That kid takes himself too seriously," Brent said as he passed Georgie to Nate.
"Maybe I should go," Nate said not sure if Brent was the one to handle it after all.
"No. I got it," Brent said and gave him a confident look.
Brent stopped in the doorway and watched his little boy brooding in that big armchair. It was typical of Georgie to get upset over a sad story. And it was typical of Ricky to blame himself when she got upset. Going in, Brent kneeled in front of him.
"It's not your fault. That story is just too sad for Georgie. You didn't do anything wrong. She just doesn't know the difference between real and made up people," Brent told him while holding his hand.
Ricky halfheartedly pulled his hand away and said, "Go and make Georgie stop crying. I don't need you."