He didn’t even have to think about this one. This was just too fucking absurd. She would rip him to pieces and not even know what she’d done, but he wasn’t about to tell her that. “Honey, I don’t make love. Did you forget that?”
Her mouth twitched, but he wasn’t sure whether she thought that was funny or something a lot worse. “Maybe you should.” She lifted her hand, and he thought about human hands on him when he wasn’t passing like a good boy. “I’m tired of not talking about what’s wrong with us. I’m tired of waking up and realizing I’ve been in your head when, seriously, when you’re doing. . .any of that. . . I don’t want to be along for that ride.”
The problem was she understood the demonkind too well for him to bullshit her much. He said the one thing guaranteed to bring this conversation to a quick end. “I’ll do you however you want, but you have to give me what I want.”
Her suspicious look said it all. But she was trying, he had to give her that. “Which is?”
He leaned toward her. “Our bonds closed. Give me that, and I’ll take my chances. Nikodemus can go fuck himself.” The temperature in the room went up at least a hundred degrees, figuratively speaking.
She sat there, blinking at him, and during the silence all he could think about was, what if she said yes? “No.”
He stared at his glass, pissed off at himself. “How drunk were you and your girlfriends when you came up with this?”
She shrugged one shoulder. “I think it would be good, don’t you?”
“Maybe I don’t feel like it.”
She lifted a hand again. Lawyer Winters. He fucking hated lawyer Winters. “I’d never deny you your right to choose.”
“Sex. No sex.” He looked her up and down and took the opportunity to appreciate what he saw. He wanted her so badly it hurt. “It’s all the same to you, isn’t it?”
“No.” She let out a breath and shook her head, which pissed him off more. She would never agree. Never.
“That’s the only thing I’m interested in.” The voices of his dead sworn whirled through his head, and he relaxed into the buzz of the additional power. If he were alone, he’d give himself up to that state of bliss. But he wasn’t alone. He grabbed his whisky and held it close. Like that would shield him from the conversational truck about to run him over. Thinking about Winters giving herself to him wasn’t safe. He added a slow grin that felt a little too real to him. He allowed more of his magic to surface. Her glance at him confirmed his eyes had changed. A little risky, letting that happen, but there was good reason for them both to be feeling the bite of him not passing. “If you agree, I’m all over that. Right now.”
She leaned toward him, and her poise turned him on the way it always did. She was completely confident about dealing with him when the pull of their magic vibrated between them like it was alive. “The idea is that you and I would get along better if we had normal sex. We could get all that out of the way. Without any of that other. . .” She waved a hand. “Just. . . sex.”
With a deliberation intended to annoy her, he ate a piece of shortbread and then another. “You mean boring sex?”
Annoyance flickered across her face, and she focused on the shelf of glass vases arranged on one wall. “Maybe if we did, we’d stop being so tense when we’re together. Just, you know, have sex when I’m not all having trouble. You too. Are you telling me you haven’t wondered what that would be like?”
“I’m always messed-up.” He poured more whisky into his glass. He wished he could get drunk.
“You’re being unnecessarily difficult.”
“I think I’m being exactly the right amount of difficult.”
“Do you?”
“Yes.” Her attention was fully on him, and that was something, having her looking at him like that—those soft eyes, that beautiful face. “Well?”
“No, Kynan. You know that’s dangerous.”
“Think of the power.” He leaned closer. “Mine and yours, twinned.” Her pupils widened, and for a deathless moment he thought she might say yes. The thrum of arousal started up, connecting them even tighter. “You’re the only one I’d ever make that offer to. I’d give you full access.” He was close enough to brush his lips over hers, so he did. She didn’t pull away. With his mouth hovering over hers, he said, “Not just you belonging to me, Maddy.” He brushed a finger over her temple. “I’d belong to you, too.”
Her eyes closed, and his mind and emotions suspended in the silence. Then she pulled away and frowned at him with one of her intense looks. The kind he saw all the time when she was thinking hard about something. “We can’t.” She shook her head. “We can’t be like that.”
“Then what you’re calling making love is really just fucking.” He looked at her straight on. “Maybe I don’t feel like having sex with you just because you formed a committee to decide what I should do. I guarantee none of you knew about the risks for me.” He stood. He was legitimately upset now. “I have a blood-bound promise to fucking Nikodemus about you. You’re asking me to put that at risk.”
Her eyes got big. He refused to care about how her eyes made her come alive to him. “It’s just sex, Kynan.”
“It’s never just sex with you. Never.” He fought to keep his voice level and lost the battle. “You have no idea.” His dead sworn shouted objections. If he said things he shouldn’t, if that got her off this subject, then good. Never mind the collateral damage. “Not one fucking idea what I deal with every minute of every day. As long as those bonds are like this, we can’t be normal. There is not one chance in hell of normal sex for us. We are fucked, Winters. Both of us.”
She withdrew. Shut down. “A simple no would suffice.”
“No.”
“Thank you.” She unfurled her legs and put her feet on the floor. “I appreciate you listening to me.”
He grabbed his whisky, took a long drink and stood there staring at her. The more he thought about her asking him for sex like it was no big deal, the more pissed off he got. “Maybe fucked-up sex is the only sex I want with you. Did you think of that? Maybe that’s the only sex I like.”
She leaned back. “I got it the first time.”
“I don’t need a pity fuck, either. There’s plenty of humans willing and able.”
Her reply was sharp enough to cut. “I wasn’t offering one.”
In for the kill. “You don’t need one, either.”
“Please. That’s enough.” She held up both hands. Her white top was extra bright against the red leather of the couch. “That isn’t what I meant. I’m sorry I came across so badly.” Here it was. Winters as hard-assed negotiator. From everything he’d heard, she was an absolute beast in the deals she conducted for Nikodemus. “We don’t get along, and we should. You’re fine with Emily. In fact I think she’s still in love with you.”
“No, she isn’t.”
“You get along with Addison.”
“Not your business.” No way did he want to talk about Emily or Addison, both human. Both with magic. Both good for him in different ways. His kind procreated with humans. The kin were driven to connections with humans. In the days before the wars and rules about behavior, the demonkind had developed a symbiotic existence—humans in those times called it parasitic, despotic, or whatever the local idiom was for evil personified. Whatever. His kind and her kind. The potential for pleasure wrapped up in power made existence sweet.
“It shouldn’t be this hard, us getting along.” She put her hands on her hips. “You can deal with everybody except me. I would like for that to stop. I don’t think that’s so much to ask.”
He waited until he had himself under control, but the minute he started talking he screwed up. “I’m not tied to anyone else the way I am to you.”
“Those bonds are hardly ever a problem.”
“For you.”
She gave him a narrow look, suspicious. “Explain that.”
All of it came out, and he didn’t have the right words. Only the ones that flow
ed out of him seared by anger and frustration. They were bound by magical bonds he was prohibited from allowing to close. That had unpleasant consequences for him. “You’re the one who fucks me up every goddamned minute of every goddamned day. Not Emily. Not Addison. You.”
“Thank you for that helpful clarification.”
“It’s about time you saw things from my perspective.”
As she stalked past him, he held out the Macallan. She gave him a venomous look. “I bought it for you.”
“I don’t like Macallan.”
She stopped dead, and this time she was so wooden he knew he’d hurt her. Ice coated every word of her reply. “That is a lie.”
“The only thing you know about me is what I like when I’m fucking you.” He retreated into the cold comfort of his sworn.
“Emily mentioned it a couple of years ago.”
“It’s not my favorite anymore.” He braced himself, because he recognized the look in her eyes.
She spoke crisply. “Fuck you, Kynan.”
He watched her leave, spine straight, moving quickly. It was better this way. It really was.
Read My Demon Warlord
Glossary
Blood-twins: A bonded pair of demons who share a permanent magical connection. They may be biologically related and/or same-sex. Antisocial and prone to psychosis.
Copa: A plant derivative of a yellow-ochre color when processed. Has a mild psychotropic effect on the Kin, who use it for relaxation. For mages, the drug increases magical abilities and is highly addictive.
Cracking (a talisman): A mage or witch may crack open a talisman in order to absorb the life force therein and magically prolong his or her life. Requires a sacrificial murder.
Demon: Any one of a number of shape-shifting magical beings whose chief characteristic is, as far as the magekind are concerned, the ability to possess and control a human. They are psychically bound beings. They typically possess multiple physical forms, at least one of which is recognizably human. Before relations with the magekind exploded into war, they frequently bonded with the magekind. Demons can procreate with humans, but the demon must be in his or her true form.
Entelechy: Demons not born from a human parent. Most are thousands of years old and extremely powerful.
Fealty: Magically binding oath between a warlord and another demon, one of the magekind, or a human. Mutually protective. For the one swearing fealty, a broken oath results in severe harm or even death. A warlord who behaves capriciously with his sworn kin risks severing the bond. A warlord gains power through these oaths. A warlord can swear fealty to another warlord.
Fiend: Subspecies of demon.
Hotblood: An epithet the magekind use to refer to demons.
Kin: What demons collectively call each other. Socially divided into various factions seeking power over other warlord-led factions.
Mage: Human man who possesses magic. A sorcerer. See also magekind.
Magekind: Humans who possess magic. The magekind arose to protect vanilla humans from the depredations of demons, a very real threat.
Mageheld: Demon under the complete control of one of the magekind. A slave.
Severing: The act of removing a mageheld from the control of a mage or witch, through the use of magic.
Talisman: A usually small object holding the life force of a demon. The kin sometimes create talismans by consent if another demon is no longer able to take physical form. The magekind have learned to create talismans through ritual murder. A talisman confers additional magical power on the mage who has it. Sometimes requires an additional sacrifice. See also cracking (a talisman).
Vanilla: A human with no magic or, pejoratively, one of the magekind with little power.
Warlord: A demon who leads some number of other demons, who have sworn fealty. Usually a natural leader possessing far more magic than others of the Kin. Magekind and vanilla humans can swear fealty to a warlord.
Witch: A human woman who possesses magic. A sorceress. See also magekind.
Change Log
Alas, I am not perfect. From time to time I make mistakes. The great thing about eBooks is I can upload fixes pretty quickly. If you find a typo, by all means let me know!
Here’s a list of updates so far:
• 2016.03.31 Version 2.0: All new formatting, spiffier interior graphics, corrected some typos.
• 2014.12.06 Version 1.0.
Thank you, eagle-eyed readers!
Dead Drop Page 15