by Ken Dickson
“Mr. Dickson… Mr. Dickson, wake up.”
“Not wishing to be disturbed, I ignored them. When I didn’t respond, they lifted my arms and let them drop limply back to the bed, shouted at me and shook me harshly. Frustrated, one of them pressed his knuckles firmly into my sternum and twisted them back and forth. It hurt like hell, but I remained unresponsive. Nevertheless, I did wonder how far they would go. At that instant, a vision filled my mind as clearly as if it were real. One of the PAs ripped open my shirt and pressed defibrillator paddles against my chest and side. “Clear!” he yelled. My body arched rigidly for a full second and then dropped back onto the bed, bouncing as it did. Startled, I promptly ended my act. I can’t recall what they wanted, but I’ll never forget the lesson that I learned.
“Throughout history, countless men and women suffered or died bull-headedly defending their ideology without ever stepping back to examine the bigger picture. Imagine for a moment that things had gone differently, that whenever their fortunes turned, they paused and asked, ‘What’s going on? Is there a message behind all of this bad luck?’ What if by doing so, they tuned in to the subtle cues that life was sending them and used them to their advantage, learning in the process how to navigate the political and social booby traps of their day? What if they taught those skills to their peers and they too lived full lives, spreading their message and those same skills even further: ‘Adapt and survive, keep the gift—whatever it might be—alive at all costs: if you die, it goes with you?’ How different would our world be today?
“Whether you buy this scenario or not, there is no arguing that many of those people died trying to make the world a better place. The same will happen to us should we persevere. We’ve proven everything we needed with Primera. We’ve established how well changed people, resilients, people without negative emotions—whatever you wish to call us—can live and work together. There is no need to rebuild it. If we continue and build Amistad, it will end up as a fortress against humanity instead of a hope for it. Life will burn it to the ground, erasing Amistad and us from history.
“I’ve called you here today to prevent another catastrophe. We have a great opportunity if, instead of being bullheaded, we change gears in the midst of adversity and like a smart boxer, we duck, dodge and roll with the punches instead of accepting a continuous pummeling all the while believing that our foe will exhaust himself before we die. We don’t need to fight humanity to make a difference; we need to work around and with them.
“When I started all of this, I thought that everyone would change. That hasn’t happened. The few of us here and scattered around the world are it. If we are to survive, we need a new strategy. Have any of you ever seen an angel?” Heads shook around the room. “I won’t debate the existence of angels, but if they do exist, don’t you think they’d want to keep their existence secret? How could they carry out their special missions for a few and leave others to suffer otherwise? Humanity would make it impossible for them to do their jobs. It’s time for us to go into stealth mode. We are, in a way, angels, and if we want to succeed for the betterment of humanity, we must fade into the woodwork and continue our good deeds in secret, or we will doom ourselves and humanity’s chance will turn to dust along with us.
“I can’t tell you at this point what we will do, but I will say this: Each of us is filled with unique passion and will best serve humanity by continuing to follow those passions as we did in Primera. How? By being shining examples: beacons in the night to friends, neighbors, strangers and even our children.
“Although we must abandon Primera, we must not abandon what we’ve learned. Keep on designing new furniture, building innovative homes, brainstorming ways to save energy and more. We can even remain friends—just don’t make targets of yourselves by congregating in one place and isolating yourselves from the world. Better yet, include new friends in everything that you do, friends who are unlike you.
“Tonight, I’m freeing each of you to use the knowledge that you’ve gained from Primera, to carry to humanity in your own way, protecting your gift as you do. I don’t know what that means for you personally, for the future of BRI, or for my own future, but I promise you that if you follow your passion and listen to the messages of life, your journey will be more wonderful than you could ever imagine. It’s certainly been an eye-opening odyssey thus far. I hope that we can safely find a way for it not to end with us. Thank you.”
The crowd was silent for a few moments as the undeniable message sank in. Eventually, someone clapped, and soon, the room filled with applause. Unexpectedly, one person, then another stood. As I watched, the entire audience rose to give me a standing ovation. It was unforeseen, but it was what I should have expected from people who didn’t have worry or fear holding them back. I wished then that the world still had a chance to experience life as we did. I reached for the recorder in my pocket and pressed the stop button, and then found Conner.
“Could you do me a favor?”
“Name it.”
“This is a recording of what I just presented. Can you send it over your secure network to the others like us? I don’t want them to make the same mistake and put themselves and a precious gift for humanity in jeopardy.”
***
Later, as I exited the Arizona Grand, feeling the lowest that I had in a long time after publicly trampling my dreams, a nervous young man approached me.
“Are you Ken Dickson?”
“Yes.” He produced an unmarked manila envelope and handed it to me. “What’s this?” I asked as I accepted it.
“You’ve been served.” As he turned and walked briskly away, I cautiously opened the envelope and then stared in disbelief at its contents: a petition for the dissolution of my marriage.
Chapter 49
BETH
The pain that I felt when Ken told me that he was having an affair was unimaginable. Not only could I feel my heart breaking, it seemed that someone was tearing it from my chest. My entire body shook uncontrollably for hours afterward. Throughout our marriage, I’d warned him regularly that the one thing I wouldn’t tolerate was infidelity. What gall he had to break that news right after making love to me! I couldn’t believe he would be so heartless and cruel.
I changed the locks and the garage code the next day and then I called Father Bob at church to schedule a meeting. During our hour together, he helped me to realize that I’d done all that I could to keep my marriage intact, and that I was not sinning if I chose to end it. He also reassured me that there would be no difficulty annulling our marriage should I wish to.
Despite that, I remained uncertain as to what to do for what seemed an eternity, until the day Primera burned to the ground. Although nearly losing Ken briefly sparked feelings for him, it also rekindled my anger over his affair. It didn’t take long after that to finally make a stand for myself. I hired an attorney and initiated divorce proceedings right away.
After the divorce, I put the house up for sale. I certainly didn’t want to live there anymore. It felt like a shell filled with lies of a happy life. It sold in one day. With the girls away at college, I had no need for a large home anymore. I located a condo to rent not far away that allowed pets and quietly moved into my new home with the dogs, the remaining rat and the goldfish. I found comfort in knowing that the heartbreak with Ken was irrevocably finished, and surprisingly, I didn’t feel lonely.
My friends and daughters convinced me to take a vacation. I was still a bit of an emotional wreck and reluctant to do so, but I knew that they were right—an adventure would surely help me get back on my feet. Remembering a small island off the gulf coast of Florida that I’d visited with my girlfriends, I started making plans. As luck would have it, I found a small cottage to rent right on the beach. The owner needed someone to watch her place and pets for a month while she dealt with a family emergency. No potential renter cared to pet-sit two dogs, but I jumped at the chance. Having left my pets in Phoenix with my sister, I was mor
e than happy to have some foster canine companionship.
I started and ended each day by taking the two cream-colored Havanese for a long walk on the beach. After my morning walk, I’d stop for chai tea at a quaint coffee shop, but otherwise, I kept to myself. I particularly loved sitting on the cottage lanai and reading. I’d always wanted to paint, so I bought some acrylics, brushes and a few canvases, and tried my hand at recreating the gorgeous view from my back door. To my surprise, I really enjoyed it and wasn’t half bad.
Late one morning as I sat on the beach watching the waves, a male voice interrupted my reverie. “Good morning.” I looked up to see a vaguely familiar face. “I see you walking on the beach every day, and thought that I recognized you from somewhere. It dawned on me this morning where. I waited on you and your friends at the ‘Sandbar’ last year.”
I was stunned that he remembered us. He must have served thousands of customers since then. “How in the world do you remember us? Were we that crazy?”
“The restaurant staff still talks about you and your friends.”
“I’m a little embarrassed. I hope that we didn’t make fools of ourselves.”
“Not at all. I think it’s wonderful that you all had such a great time. I hope that you don’t think that I’m being too forward, but I especially remember you. I never expected to see you again.”
“I’m here for some much needed ‘me’ time. I’m beginning a new chapter in my life.”
“How so?”
“I’m recently divorced.”
“Oh. I’m sorry to hear that.”
“Don’t be. It was time for it to end. I gave it all that I had, but apparently, I wasn’t enough for my husband. He was seeing another woman.”
“How awful. If I had someone like you, I’d treat her like a queen.”
“That’s sweet, but I’m probably old enough to be your mother.”
“I’m thirty-four, and you don’t look a day over forty.”
“Flatterer.”
“My name’s John, by the way.”
“I’m Beth.”
“Could I interest you in joining me for lunch tomorrow?”
“I’d be delighted.”
I was so nervous about the lunch date that I couldn’t focus the remainder of the day. Fortunately, the salt air and the sound of the waves lulled me to sleep that night. I awoke early, took the dogs for a walk, and then busied myself until noon when John arrived. He escorted me to his Jeep and we drove toward the marina. When we arrived, he unloaded a cooler from the back. “We’re going for a picnic,” he announced, and then led me down the dock to a magnificent old runabout, pulling the cooler behind him. “This is my pride and joy: a 1956 Healy Ski-Master. I’ve been working on it for years, and just refinished it.”
“It’s beautiful. I love restoring old things. I’ve refinished several pieces of furniture over the years.” He placed the cooler in the back seat and then helped me into the front. Then he untied the boat from its moorings and climbed in himself. Moments later, the ancient outboard rumbled to life. We idled away from the dock until he passed the end of the no-wake zone where he opened the throttle.
The day was beautiful, and I loved being on the water. We crossed open sea for a half-hour until a small island appeared. He headed directly toward it and cut the engine as we neared, allowing the boat to drift onto the sand. Once we’d beached, he leaped out, pulled it farther ashore and then moored it by stretching the anchor rope taut and burying the anchor in the sand.
“This is one of my favorite places. Very few people come here, especially in the off season, so we’ll have the place to ourselves.” He hefted the cooler out of the boat and spread a blanket on the sand. In no time, lunch was ready. In between bites of sandwiches and fruit, we spoke. “I can’t believe your ex cheated on you. I’d never screw around on someone like you.”
“You don’t even know me.”
“I can tell plenty about people from their mannerisms. I watched you in particular the two times you came to the restaurant with your friends. I never forgot your spontaneous laugh and the confident way that you carried yourself. I’ve been enjoying watching a woman on the beach for several weeks who reminded me of you. Imagine my delight when I found that it was you. I find you very attractive. You have a natural style that says ‘I know who I am and I don’t care what you think about me.’ I hate it when women plaster on makeup, wear revealing clothes and outrageous heels trying to be someone they’re not.”
“You’ve been spying on me all this time? I don’t know what to say. You are right about one thing—I don’t care if other people like the way I look. I’ve always had my own style. I like being me. I do wear a little makeup, but too much feels like I have dirt on my face, and you’ll never catch me in heels.”
“I think you’re perfect.”
We finished our lunch in silence and after that sat next to each other on the beach with the waves lapping soothingly close by. After a while, he placed his arm around me and pulled me close. It felt wonderful to be held, and my body relaxed into his.
“I’d like to kiss you if you don’t mind.”
I never imagined that I would be with anyone besides Ken, but he’d crossed the line that ended our marriage. Now, a new future seemed to have washed up on the beach. It thrilled me to hear those words. I hadn’t felt loved in a long time. Perhaps he was lying, but I really didn’t care. He went to so much trouble to bring me here, and I was tired of hiding “Beth” away. I longed for someone to accept me for who I was and start living again.
“Okay.”
Chapter 50
AMISTAD
Having been through a divorce prior to meeting Beth when my former wife had an affair with another man, I knew all too well the pain that drove Beth to divorce me. I didn’t blame her for throwing in the towel. It’s exactly the choice that I made when I divorced my first wife. She was just doing what she needed to do. It’s funny, though, how life repeats itself, so that you eventually see all perspectives.
Despite the divorce, I still had strong feelings for her. I treasured the long history and many good times we shared and preferred to reminisce about those rather than the painful times. I heard that she met someone in Florida. I don’t know what became of that, but it appeared to bring her resolution. She no longer seemed angry or hurt after that. Because of the kids, we saw each other periodically. Each time, I fought my attraction to her, forcing myself to accept my new life.
As far as what happened after my speech at the Arizona Grand, I thought that everyone would disband and find their unique paths and that BRI might collapse, but it didn’t happen that way. In true resilient form, they adapted, and BRI survived, remaining essentially intact. The only major alteration was that the research arm changed its primary focus to real estate development.
The company continued to grow and retained the same hiring practices: by passion over experience, but those practices no longer favored resilients. In fact, that term disappeared from almost all internal documents as BRI became much like any other company. The exception was Merry’s department. Generously funded by BRI, Merry stayed on and continued his research. Matt felt that it was too important to the future of BRI—and the world, for that matter—to abandon. Given free rein and a blank check within reason, Merry couldn’t be happier.
For a time, the former location of Primera sat idle as BRI awaited the insurance payout. Once the insurance company settled, BRI initially planned to sell the land, but, with all the knowledge gained from Primera by BRI employees, it was hard to contain their creative ambition. Legal negotiated a deal with the city of Phoenix to free up acreage around the former community, and BRI ultimately purchased an additional three hundred and sixty-five acres to develop a new community.
Just as fire erased Primera from existence, so too did its name vanish into obscurity, all but forgotten. The staff and employees heeded my warnings, and the new community took shape with the involvement of
people from every walk of life. To my surprise, the name chosen for that community was Amistad.
I stayed in the background except on one point. I longed to build a modest home of my own there with a panoramic view of the community below. Building a home near the big rock was out of the question. As part of the Amistad Greenway System, its view would be preserved in perpetuity. However, an area just to the northeast of it proved to be perfect. I continued to live in the trailer as long as I could so that I could watch the new community unfold and be intimately involved in the construction of my new home.
I did have one other request, a personal one. I asked Emma if she would join me to landscape Amistad. “I’m way ahead of you!” she exclaimed. I couldn’t wait to work beside her once more.
A year after Beth and I divorced, we finally had the talk that I’d wanted. During it, I told her, “There’s nothing I regret more than hurting you,” to which she replied, “I miss being married to my best friend.” It was a surprisingly productive talk. Perhaps if we’d had it sooner, things might not have gone so far.
During the ensuing months, we met for lunch and then dinner. Eventually, we went to a movie together, something that had been a mainstay of our marriage. As I reached for and then held her hand in the theater, I felt like a couple again. A few days later, I invited her on a special date. I didn’t tell her what I’d planned, just that she needed a suitcase and what to pack.
A week later, we flew into Denver, Colorado. I rented a car and then, as closely as possible, recreated the date on which she first fell in love with me. I left a few activities out that no longer existed more than twenty years later, but we managed to have a picnic lunch near a stream in Aspen, hike to Hanging Lake just outside of Glenwood Springs, and lounge in the massive Glenwood Springs hot springs, just as we had back then. That night, we stayed in a suite at the Glenwood Springs Hotel. We made love for the first time in years, and I felt as if I’d come home.