by Jen Gilroy
Amy took a soggy French fry and ate it without tasting it. Unlike in Boston, nobody here called her dumb and, for a while, she’d almost forgotten she was. But if her mom was having sex with Coach Luc and she’d never spotted it, she must be really dumb. Her stomach knotted and she blinked to hold back the scalding rush of tears.
She glanced between her mom and the coach again. They were looking at each other. She looked at him like he wasn’t a coach, and he looked at her like she wasn’t a mom. It was the kind of look that shut Amy and everyone else out. They liked each other all right, and unless she came up with something fast, that look could change her life in a whole bunch of ways she didn’t want.
She tore her paper napkin into small pieces and stared at the plate, where several cheese curds blurred with the tears she fought to hold back. Her mom didn’t want her to kick butt on the ice, but she’d never said anything about kicking butt off it.
A spoon clanged against a glass, and Luc looked up from his bowl of Liz’s fiery Texas chili. Ward, Gabrielle’s partner, stood at the front of the diner, with Gabrielle by his side. Nick, Cat, and Georgia were clustered behind them.
Ward hit the spoon against the glass again and the buzz of conversation quieted. “Because of the storm, almost everyone we care about is here, so Gabrielle and I thought it was the perfect time to tell you that Nick and Mia won’t be the only newlyweds in town for much longer.” He paused and glanced at Gabrielle, who smiled and nodded. “Last night, Gabrielle made me an even happier man by agreeing to be my wife.”
Gabrielle rested a hand on Ward’s arm. “At our age, we won’t have a big wedding, but we’ll have a party afterward, and we hope you’ll all join us to celebrate.”
Luc got to his feet to join in the cheers and congratulations. Of course he was happy for Gabrielle and Ward, so why was there that pinch around his heart?
“I never thought Gabrielle would get married again, but turns out I was wrong.” Beside him, Josh Tremblay gave a wry laugh. “As soon as that silver fox rolled into town, she was a goner. Now I owe Georgia fifty bucks.”
“Gabrielle better not know that you and Georgia had a wager about whether she and Ward were going to get married.” Luc eyed Josh long enough to make the guy sweat. He liked him, and he’d made sure his contractor had hired him to do some work at the new house, but if Josh had upset Gabrielle, that contract was off.
“Of course not.” A faint flush tinged Josh’s cheeks beneath the dark beard stubble. “It was Georgia’s idea, and I went along with it for a joke. That girl’s as crazy as she ever was.”
And nowadays it seemed she was Josh’s kind of crazy. Luc bit back a smile. “There wasn’t anything more to it than a dumb bet?”
Josh grinned. “Nope. I’m smarter than I used to be.”
“At least one of you is.” He glanced to the front of the diner again, where Cat and Georgia hugged their mom. While Cat had always been conservative with a capital C, Georgia was trouble with a capital T. He’d suspected, though, that Georgia had a big heart beneath that wild-child exterior. Cat wouldn’t be so close to her sister otherwise.
“Great surprise, huh?” Nick joined them. “Mom told us the news earlier, and we’re all happy for them. Ward’s a good guy and he looks out for Mom, but he still lets her be independent like she wants.”
“They’re sure good together.” Luc’s heart gave an agonizing thud.
Ward had loved his first wife and grieved when she’d passed. Somehow, though, he’d found the courage to let himself love again. How had he done it? Unlike sports, grief didn’t come with a playbook.
“The contractor says my house will be done by Memorial Day at the latest, so unless Georgia sticks around, Gabrielle and Ward can have their privacy in Harbor House.” And even though he couldn’t let himself love her, after last night and what they’d done in front of the fire and in her bed, Luc wanted that kind of privacy with Cat.
“You’re building an awfully big house for a guy on his own.” Josh’s voice was contemplative. “Unless maybe you’re thinking of having company?” He glanced toward Cat and Georgia still huddled with Gabrielle.
“Give the guy a break.” Nick raised a dark eyebrow. “With all that extended Simard family, he needs the space. Besides, there’s a lot to be said for having more room than you need. I thought that, with an addition, Mia’s house would be plenty big for all of us, but it’s still a squeeze. Who knew a bunch of females had so much stuff? Mia needs a separate closet for her shoes alone.” The happy sound of his laugh grated on Luc’s ears.
Josh still eyed Luc. “How long is Cat staying in Firefly Lake?”
“I don’t know.” Luc eyeballed him right back. The guy might think he’d seen something, but even if he had, Luc wouldn’t give anything away—especially not in front of Cat’s big brother.
“Amy’s been great for the team. Connor has learned a lot from her.” Josh grinned. “I’m real proud of my boy for admitting he can learn something about hockey from a girl. It’s tough being a single dad, and although I want to raise Connor to respect girls and women, it’s sure harder than I thought it would be.”
Okay, maybe Luc was paranoid. Or maybe it was the guilt that needled him. He’d had sex with a woman who wasn’t his wife, and everybody must have guessed. His dad had, that was for certain. It was in the look he’d given him when Luc had come into the diner fifteen minutes after Cat, like they’d agreed. But his dad knew to mind his own business, and he’d make sure Luc’s mom did, too.
Maggie had been gone for more than two years. There was no reason for Luc to feel like he’d cheated on her. But it was more than that. Even before he’d had sex with Cat, he’d started to feel something for her that he’d never felt for anyone except Maggie.
He held out his coffee mug to a passing waitress. He needed caffeine and lots of it. Then he needed another bowl of Liz’s chili. And when the crew got the power back on, he needed a shower, a hard workout, then another shower.
After all those things, maybe he could figure out these feelings he had for a woman who couldn’t have been more unlike his wife but who’d curled herself around his heart in the exact same way. Even more than the sex, that was what he had the most guilt about.
Chapter Fourteen
Only ten minutes or so until you can breathe normally again.” Her mom patted Cat’s arm, then pointed to the remaining game time as the luminous, red seconds ticked down on the scoreboard mounted high on the arena wall. “I didn’t know I was that obvious.” Cat blew out a breath and tried to uncurl her tense fingers inside her mittens. It had been a week since she’d had sex with Luc. Since then, they’d circled around each other and, by unspoken agreement, avoided what had happened between them. But whether it was in her mom’s kitchen, or today behind the home team’s bench, each time she saw him, her heart clenched a little tighter and she wanted him again a little bit more.
“I remember what I was like with your sister and brother.” Her mom picked up a Thermos and poured more tea into Cat’s mug. “When Georgia went through her gymnastics phase, I died a thousand deaths every time she flung herself off that balance beam. Even now, whenever Nick goes skiing, I picture him lying unconscious at the bottom of a mountain, every bone in his body broken.” She gave Cat a wry smile. “It’s a dangerous business being a mom. At least I never had to worry about you and sports.”
But her mom had worried about Cat in other ways, and she still did. She’d never mentioned that morning of the snowstorm in Cat’s apartment, but it was still there between them, along with everything else that had piled up over the years.
Cat sipped the hot tea and tried to focus on the action on the ice. Even to her untrained eyes, it was obvious Amy was good and Luc’s coaching had made her better. She was a faster and more polished skater. Her turns were crisper, and she handled her stick with more confidence.
“Luc’s been good for Amy.” Her mom looked at the ice, too. “And she’s been good for him. I worry about Luc almost as mu
ch as I did about Nick before Mia came into his life. But since you and Amy moved here, Luc’s eyes aren’t sad anymore. He even laughed twice in one day this week.”
“He likes coaching Amy, and she sure likes him.” Cat’s fear of losing her daughter was groundless. Although Amy had been unusually mouthy this past week, she was growing up, and the teenage hormones were starting to kick in.
“I think Luc’s good for you as well.” Her mom’s tone had a hint of amusement, but her gaze remained fixed on the ice. “You have a lot in common. For a start, both of you are focused and determined—and hurting.”
“I’m not hurting.” At least not like Luc was. He’d lost the only woman he’d ever loved, his soul mate. Whereas she’d only lost the man who’d fathered Amy, a man she’d barely known. Besides, that loss was years ago and she’d moved on.
“If you say so.” Her mom looped an arm around Cat’s stiff shoulders. “But you’re both at points of transition in your lives. He’s making a future for himself after hockey and Maggie, and you’re—”
“Still making the same future I always planned on.” She had to give it time, that was all. “As soon as I get a permanent job, I’ll be able to give Amy everything she needs. A girls’ hockey league, tennis lessons in the summer, a real vacation, and maybe even private school.” Cat set her mug of tea on the bleacher with an unsteady hand.
“All Amy needs is a mom who loves her and wants the best for her. Thanks to you, she already has that. Tennis lessons and private school are nice, sure, but they’re not the most important things.” Her mom’s voice was neutral.
“I want her to have the best opportunities, too.” Cat’s stomach rolled. “Like you did for us after Dad left. You said not to worry, you’d give us everything we needed, and you did.”
“Maybe I was wrong.” Her mom tugged on her fluffy gloves. “Maybe what you really needed, I couldn’t give you—time with your dad.”
“It wasn’t your fault Dad left, and it wasn’t as if any of us kids wanted to visit him, either. He didn’t want us, not really. If he had, he wouldn’t have done what he did.” Cat tried to keep the little-girl quiver out of her voice. “It’s over.”
“As long as you carry around all that hurt and anger, it will never be over.” Her mom’s voice was loving but also firm. “Meeting Ward changed me for the better. Since I’ve finally faced my fears and agreed to marry him, it’s like a big weight’s been lifted off my chest. He’s a different man than your dad, and he deserves not only my love but my trust. I don’t want to interfere in your life, or tell you what to do—”
“I don’t… what’s… Amy?” Cat stumbled to her feet and her gaze zeroed in on the pile of heaving bodies near center ice. The moment she’d taken her focus away from the game, the hockey version of hell had broken loose. She made her legs move along the bleacher toward the steps leading to the ice. Despite the arena’s numbing chill, sweat trickled between her shoulder blades beneath her sweater and parka.
“Wait.” Her mom’s voice came from behind her. “Luc and Scott are right there. You won’t help Amy if you fall and crack your head open.”
Cat slowed and picked her way down the steps. Amy couldn’t be in that pile of bodies. As she reached ice level, her vision blurred.
“Here.” Her mom pulled open the gate for Cat to go through and gripped her arm.
“You’re not allowed on the ice.” The male voice was young and hesitant.
“Just try to stop me.” Cat half-turned to face the teenage referee who hovered at the edge of the melee, his whistle useless. “My daughter’s there. I have to get to her.”
“If you stop her, you’ll have to stop all of us.” Stephanie and a group of the other hockey moms surged onto the ice behind Cat, an unlikely but solid phalanx of support.
Cat’s heart hammered. Luc, Scott, and the other team’s coaches pulled boys off of each other. A streak of red darkened a patch of ice next to a first aid kit and stack of towels.
“Amy… I still don’t see her.” She wasn’t on the home team’s bench or with the small group of players huddled at the end of the rink by one of the goal nets. And she wasn’t in the tangle of arms and legs still piled up on the ice. No number five and no familiar dark blond hair sticking out from beneath a helmet.
“Stay here.” Her mom pulled at her sleeve. “If you get in the middle of a fight, you’ll only make things worse.”
“But Amy, she…” Cat swallowed a sob. “At her age, there’s no body checking in hockey. It’s noncontact. Luc promised me.” Her voice came out in a high wail.
“Boys of this age don’t know the meaning of noncontact.” Stephanie stopped at Cat’s shoulder. “Believe me, I have two of them. As for men’s promises, they’re not worth much. Even Luc, and he’s one of the good ones.” Although Stephanie’s voice was hard, her light touch on Cat’s back was kind.
“Amy will be okay.” She had to be because if she wasn’t… Cat stopped that train of thought with an effort, only to see Scott pull off the last boy, a big player from the opposing team, and the small, still figure on the ice beneath him.
“Oh my God. Mom… she’s not moving… she’s…” Cat slid across the few feet of ice that separated her from her daughter.
“I’ve already called the paramedics and they’ll be here any minute.” Luc’s voice was steady. “Scott is a certified hockey trainer and first aider.”
Cat’s eyes swung to Scott, who knelt on the ice on the other side of Amy. “What happened?”
“She took an illegal body check even before most of the two teams landed on top of her.” He turned back to Amy. “You’re going to be fine, Amy. It’s Coach Scott. I need you to stay as still as you can and tell me where you hurt.”
Amy whimpered. “Everywhere.” Behind her face mask, her blue eyes were unfocused and she blinked up at the bright, overhead lights. “My head.”
“She’s still wearing her helmet. I bought her that one because it was supposed to be the safest. I researched it. I compared all the facts.”
Amy’s hair stuck out from underneath it like the limp tresses of a doll.
“It protected her from the hit, but no helmet’s concussion-proof.” Luc crouched on his knees beside Cat. “I tried to get to her in time, but it all happened so fast.”
Cat’s chin shook. “It’ll be okay, sweetie. I’m right here. Grandma is, too, and Coach Luc. Don’t move and do what Coach Scott says.” She glanced at him again as he wrapped a strip of gauze around Amy’s left hand, where blood spurted onto the ice.
“She’s got a deep cut, but it’s clean. And she’s lucky. Skate blades can do a lot worse damage.” He tied the makeshift tourniquet tight, then went back to touching Amy’s arms and legs.
“I really kicked spaghetti out there, didn’t I, Mom?” Amy’s voice was so soft Cat had to strain to hear her.
“Spaghetti?” Cat’s insides were in a viselike grip. “I don’t understand, honey.”
“You didn’t want me telling the kids to kick butt, so since then they’ve kicked spaghetti instead.” Luc’s voice was rough. “It was Amy’s idea, and the guys went for it.”
“You sure kicked something out there.” Cat swallowed the lump in her throat. “It looks like you got kicked, too.”
“I’d have scored another goal if that big guy hadn’t hit me.” Amy winced as Scott put a blanket over her. “But did you see how my whole team came to help?” Her smile was crooked and so childlike that Cat’s heart splintered further.
“I don’t think a bench-clearing brawl can be called helping.” She stroked the ends of Amy’s sweat-matted hair with a gentle finger.
“It didn’t start off as a fight. It just… it happened, I guess.” She looked at Cat and her expression was anxious. “We have to finish this game and there’s another one tomorrow and—”
“You don’t need to worry about any of that.” Luc’s voice was calm. “I already told the referee to call this game so nobody else gets hurt.” He glanced at Cat. “He�
��s only seventeen. He’s never had to deal with something like this before.”
“And you won’t be playing in the next game.” If Cat had her way, Amy wouldn’t play hockey with boys ever again.
“I have to.” Amy looked at Luc. “I can’t let my team down. We were winning this game and I want to keep winning.”
“But—” Cat stopped at a warning glance from Scott. “Let’s wait to hear what the doctor says,” she said instead.
Focused on Amy, the pain in Luc’s blue eyes was unmistakable. He brushed a hand across his face. “I promised you… I let you down, both of you.”
“It’s not your fault.” Cat’s body shook. “You couldn’t know this would happen.” She stopped and tried to swallow the tight knot of anxiety.
Apart from the kid who’d tackled Amy, if it was anybody’s fault, it was hers. She was the one who’d said Amy could play on the boys’ team. Even though she’d done it to make her daughter happy, she’d still put her at risk.
Behind Luc, Stephanie stood with her boys, arms looped together in an uneasy embrace, flanked by the rest of the hockey parents and players.
Cat’s gaze connected with Stephanie’s. The other woman’s expression was etched with pain, as well as concern. “Thanks,” Cat muttered.
Stephanie’s face went red. “If you need anything…” She cleared her throat. “All of us, we…” She gestured to the group. “Here, hockey means family.” She pulled at her coat collar. “You and Amy are part of that family.”
Cat gave a jerky nod and her stomach dropped as she looked at Amy huddled under the blanket. Even though the accident wasn’t Luc’s fault, it was still a reminder of why she couldn’t give any man her heart—or her trust. Like Stephanie had said, and Cat had almost let herself forget, she knew the worth of men’s promises and had already paid a bitter price. She might be smart, but when it came to her heart, she also had to be wise.