by Bec Botefuhr
Caden walks over and wraps me in his arms, “It’s gonna be fine Angel, she’ll calm down.”
“She’ll kill me more like!”
Pulling back, he studies my face. “Want me to come?”
I sigh. As much as I would love for him to be at my side, I know it’d only make things more difficult. “No, I have to do this one on my own; but I’ll call you later, okay?”
He kisses me softly, “I hope it goes well.”
“Me too.”
~*~*~*~*
“How could you?” My Mother screams, pacing my hall. My Father sits staring at the wall; the anger he is feeling clearly visible across his features.
The last hour has been spent arguing with my Mother whilst my Father stays silent; watching our back-and-forth. It probably didn’t help that overnight the coloring on my bruise had deepened and I was now sporting a rather commendable black eye. It took me half an hour to convince them that Caden wasn’t responsible. Not that they acknowledged that he had actually looked out for me afterwards.
“I want to be with him.”
“He’s a biker who tattoos young girls! He probably has diseases, he is dangerous. You won’t see him again.”
“I will, because it’s my choice.”
“If you know what’s good for you,” my Father snaps. “You won’t.”
“I’m sorry, but you can’t stop this.” I’m on a roll and for the first time in my life I am standing up to my parents.
“Can’t we?” my Mother screams, “I think we can.”
“By taking everything away from me? Go ahead Mother,” I spit “I’m sick of living in your damn shadow.”
Her face drops and her eyes fill with tears, “You’re selfish. I raised you better than this. That man is dangerous and I won’t have my daughter putting herself at risk for the sake of some stupid rebellious phase.”
“What will you have me do then?” I scream, losing my temper. “Marry a man I hate, work in a position I didn’t even ask for, just so I get some money?”
“Greg is good for you and that money will set you up for life. As for the job, you haven’t complained thus far. Do you really want it all taken away?”
Folding my arms across my chest I stare straight into my Mother’s eyes. “Maybe I do.”
“Enough,” my Father snaps, “Enough of this. If you have any idea what’s good for you you’ll stop right now.”
“No, I won’t.”
“What is wrong with you, I thought you were better than this?” My Mother wails.
“Did you Mother, or did you just want me to be like you?”
“I beg your pardon?” she gasps.
“You heard me! Well guess what? I don’t want to be like you; I don’t want to work in a place I hate and I don’t want to marry a man I DO NOT LOVE!”
“We’ve worked so hard to give you a good life and you repay us by throwing it away?!”
“HOW?” I cry, throwing my hands up. “Don’t tell me what you’re offering is going to make me happy, because it isn’t. You have it all and look at you! I haven’t seen you and Daddy kiss in years and you really think I don’t know you sleep in different beds?”
“Stop,” she whispers, harshly.
“No, I won’t stop. Do you think that’s the life I want? To be trapped in a loveless marriage? To have to fill my life with different social events because I don’t have anything more worthwhile to do with my time? That is you Mother, you ruined your life but you don’t get to ruin mine too!”
My head whips to the side as she slaps me clean across the face; catching me just under my swollen eye. The sting radiates through my cheek and angry tears slide down my cheeks.
“Get out,” I hiss.
“You’re making a mistake.”
“No, the only mistake I’m made is not sticking up for myself sooner. Take it all Mother, take my money, take my job, and take my family. I won’t leave him, because he gives me more than you ever have; respect. Now get out.”
“Mandy…” My Father says, his voice soft.
“GET OUT!”
They leave and I fall to my knees and cry. Jaxson arrives only ten minutes later and finds me near hysterical; my arms resting on my knees, covering my face. .
“Hey, what happened?” He asks, dropping to his knees.
“My Mother found out about Caden.” I stutter.
“Uh oh, I guess it didn’t go so well then?”
“No, she flipped and threatened to take everything away from me. What am I supposed to do Jax? My own parents now hate me.”
“They will calm down.”
“Jaxson, she slapped me across the face! It is all going badly; I just want things to go right.”
I look up and he catches sight of my face and gasps. The bright red handprint makes an unwelcome addition to my already battered features. A dark look crosses his face but he takes a breath and instead of questioning me he slips his hands under my arms and lifts me to my feet. “Does he make you happy Mands?”
I smile, weakly. “He does; he really does.”
“Then what the hell does it matter? Let them threaten to take everything away from you; we both know they are only speaking out of anger. You know your parents would never let anything happen to you. Your Mother is angry because your life didn’t go the way she wanted but screw her; you’re a grown woman and you don’t have to bend to her every command anymore. If you want to be with big bad biker then be with him. If you parents love you they’ll accept that. If not, they’ll be the ones missing out.”
I smile, and hug him close. “Why do you always know what to say?”
“It is part of being gay.”
I snort a laugh, “Please do tell me how you came up with that?”
He shrugs his shoulders. “I think us gay men have extra brain cells.”
“If you say so,” I giggle.
Jaxson’s face falls and I know he’s going to ask about my face.
“You feel up to telling me how you got that shiner?” he asks softly.
“Not really”
“Okay, I’ll give you space but just tell me it wasn’t Caden?”
“It most definitely wasn’t Caden. He would never hurt me.” I smile knowing that despite all my misgivings about our relationship, Caden would never intentionally hurt me.
Placated for the moment, Jax changes the subject. “So tell me, how is hot biker doing?”
I sigh, “Amazing.”
“Uh oh, someone’s in love!”
“What, I am not!”
“Are so,” he laughs, standing and dancing in circles.
“Mandy is in love, Mandy is in love!”
“Shut up Jaxson!”
I chase him down the hall, and for a moment I forget the stinging in my cheek and the pain in my heart.
CHAPTER EIGHT
“Baby, what happened?!” Caden says when I walk pitifully up Max’s driveway.
He leaps over the railing and rushes over, taking my face in his hands.
“She hit you.”
His words are a statement not a question so I guess he has some experience with deciphering facial wounds. I want to ask how he knows but I don’t think I have the headspace for that conversation yet.
“It’s fine, at least it is all out there now.”
Steering me towards the front door, he wraps his arm around my shoulder. “Come on, let me get you inside.”
“All okay Chief?” Max yells out.
“Just need some ice bud.”
Caden walks me up the stairs and I smile weakly at Max and Bill.
“Jesus Angel, look at your face. What happened to you now?” they ask.
“Her Ma hit her.” Caden grumbles.
“What? Why?”
“’Cause she told her folks about me.”
Max and Bill give me sympathetic looks. “Aww Angel, sorry.”
“It’s okay,” I whisper.
Caden walks inside to get me a cool cloth, then he comes back and sets it on
my cheek.
“Why is she still here?”
I hear the voice and look down to see Dani standing in the driveway. She has her hand on her hips and her pelvis is tilted; emphasizing her curves. She glares up at Caden.
“Go away Dani. Jesus, how many times do I have to tell you before you take the fuckin’ hint?”
“Awwww what happened to the little princess? Did someone slap you?” She taunts and my anger rises.
“Get lost,” I snarl.
“Or what?” She challenges.
“Dani, fuck off,” Max growls. Seems I’m not the only one who has a problem with Dani and her runaway mouth.
“Shut up Max.”
“Get off my fuckin’ lawn or I’ll toss you off myself.”
“I need to speak with you Caden,” she says, ignoring Max.
Caden doesn’t even look in her direction as he responds. “No.”
“It’s urgent.”
“I said no.”
“I’m pregnant,” she yells. “And it’s yours.”
I snap, I just snap. I stand and leap over the balcony. Dani sees me charging towards her, and has the nerve to laugh. What is the little princess going to do to a big scary biker girl like her right? I lift my hand and I biker slap her so hard I hear the crack echo across the lawn. She screams and stumbles backwards, landing on her ass. I leap on top of her, driving another two slaps into her jaw.
“Get off me, you fucking crazy bitch,” she screams.
“Get out, get lost, and don’t come back here. He doesn’t want you,” I scream back at her.
“I’m pregnant, you’re killing my baby! Chief, she is killing my baby.”
Caden is behind me in seconds, pulling me off. His big arms wrap around me and I struggle to lunge forward. Max rushes down and grips Dani’s arm.
“Get the fuck outta here Dani, or I will let her go at you again.”
“I’m pregnant!” she cries.
“How?!” Caden roars.
“You know how,” a sly smile creeps across her face, “we fucked without protection.”
“Not often!”
“We did that night you were drunk.”
He stiffens behind me.
“You’re lying.”
“No I’m not, I just found out. I can give you the doctor’s number if you want.”
“Might not be mine.”
“Are you callin’ me a slut Chief?”
“You fuckin’ are!” he screams back at her, “Why don’t you ask Ben whose baby it is?”
“Fuck you.”
She lunges and Max reefs her back.
“Get the fuck outta here Dani; you can discuss this another time.”
Her eyes fall on me, “My baby is his, so get used to me in your life bitch because I’m never leaving.”
Then she turns and storms off. I wriggle furiously.
“Caden let me go!” I cry out.
“Not until you calm down.”
“She’s pregnant, my face is a mess and I have no family! Fuck, let me fucking go!” I scream, shocking myself with my own swearing.
“No!”
“Chief let her go.”
Max pulls Caden off me and I spin around, shoving him in the chest. Then I turn and run, I force my legs to carry me, even though they don’t want to work. I hit the sand and I keep running, then suddenly, I’m flat on my face in the sand. Caden’s body is over mine, his chest pressed to my back. My body is squashed into the grainy sand and I’m panting.
“Stop,” he whispers in my ear, not moving off me, “Just stop.”
I break. “It all hurts, Caden, it hurts.”
“I know baby.”
“Why can’t I just have a normal life?”
“You’re too good for a normal life.”
“I’m not too good.”
“You are baby, you are.”
He rolls me over but doesn’t get off me. His lips kiss away my tears and he strokes my hair gently.
“It’s going to be okay; I’m going to take care of you.”
“How?” I hiccup.
“I just will. Listen, I’ve been thinking… move in with me?”
I blink up at him, “I can’t.”
“Why not?”
“It’s only been five weeks; we don’t know each other that well.”
“Then let me help you out with money at least.”
I know I shouldn’t be feeling this way after what has happened but when he acts all sweet and protective it melts my heart. “I can get a new job.”
“Angel, stop pushin’ me away.”
“I’m not,” I whisper.
“Yeah,” he says, pressing a soft kiss to my lips, “You are.”
He holds me on the sand for long moments, at least until my breathing dies down. He lifts me to my feet and walks me back to the house. I inhale sharply when I realize that my parents’ car is parked out front.
“Oh no,” I whisper. “They’re here.”
“That your folks?”
“Yeah.”
We walk over, and I see my Father getting out of the car. He is alone. His eyes fall on me, and his face softens. Caden steps in front of me, his face full of rage. My Father puts his hands up.
“I’m not here to cause trouble; I just want to see my daughter.”
Caden doesn’t move a muscle. “When she shows up with a red, swollen face and tears streamin’ down her cheeks, you can understand why I don’t want to just step out of the way and hand her over.”
“It’s ok,” I whisper, putting my hand on his arm.
“I know you’re trying to protect her, I’m not here to cause her more pain.”
My Father reaches out his hand, offering it to Caden. They stare at each other for long moments, and then Caden steps forward and takes his hand.
“It is good to see you again son.”
“This time you haven’t got your fist in my face.”
My Father snorts, “No, this time I don’t.”
Jerking his head in my direction Caden gives my Father a gentle warning. “Go easy on her; she’s hurting.”
My Father nods and releases Caden’s hand. Caden turns to me and kisses me lightly on the mouth.
“I will be inside if you need.”
I nod and watch him go, and then I turn to my Father.
“Fancy a walk?” He asks.
I exhale and shrug my shoulders. “Ok.”
We walk down to the beach and begin strolling quietly along it.
“Mandy, I’m sorry. What your Mother and I have been doing, it’s been wrong…”
“I didn’t deserve that Daddy; I should have a right to love whoever I want.”
“Yes, you should and that is why I’m here.” He takes a deep breath as if he has something big to say. Bearing in mind my Father is usually a man of few words; I’m intrigued as to what will happen next.
“Your Mother won’t see sense, and I can’t make her, but what you said was right. My life, her life; it’s always been strained. We married because of the image, because of the money, and the love wasn’t there the way it should have been. I don’t want a loveless marriage for you and I’m sick of not standing up for myself and my daughter. You shouldn’t have to work in my company if you don’t want to you, and you should get your money because of the mere fact that you’re our daughter. If that man makes you happy, then I won’t stand in your way.”
I feel my heart constrict, and I’m overcome with emotion; today has been such a rollercoaster ride. I reach out to take his hand, “Thank you Daddy, it means so much to me.”
“Your Mother kicked me out.”
“What?” I whisper.
“She kicked me out; I told her I was going to accept your decision to be with Caden. She kicked me out and locked the doors.”
“Oh Daddy, it’s my fault…” I knew my parents weren’t exactly ‘loves young dream’ but that didn’t mean I wanted them to separate; especially over me!
“This is not your fault Mandy; th
is has been a long time coming. We haven’t been happy and it isn’t fair on either of us to stay together. You were our glue and now you’re gone, things are bad. Your Mother wants to control your life, because she can’t control her own. If you need money, please, ask me and I will get it for you.”
I smile, humbled by his offer, “Thanks daddy, but I think I have to do this one on my own. I need to live like the rest of the world lives; it’s time for me to grow up.”
“You deserve love and happiness Mandy. Just promise me that you’re with him for the right reasons, not just to rebel. I wouldn’t want you getting hurt.”
“I love him Daddy, I truly do. He is everything I ever wanted and more. He may not be what people expected me to go for - heck, he isn’t what I expected me to go for - but we fit. He is what I want and if it goes wrong, that is on me. I’m a grown woman.”
My Father smiles at me. “Yes you are, and I can see he cares about you.”
“Where will you go?”
“I’m staying at our apartment in the city for now.”
“Are you sad?”
He smiles, “Yes and no. Regardless, I know it’s for the best.”
“Daddy?”
“Yes?”
“Have you ever been in love, the way I am?”
He smiles painfully, “Once.”
“What happened?”
He takes a moment; as if deciding whether or not he should tell me something. “She died.”
I feel my chest seize, “Oh Daddy.”
“We were young lovers, I was only eighteen and she was seventeen. We spent every moment together; she was my everything. One day, her family was out skiing and something went wrong. She came off the skis and got tangled in the ropes. They tried to get her out but it was too late.
My eyes begin welling with tears.
“I was so angry; I went off the rails for a long time. Then I met your Mother. My parents and her parents set us up and I knew I had to get myself back on track. I married her, and we got all the wonderful things promised to us, but I never loved her the way I loved Beth. It was always a cause for fights.”
“What about Mom? Did she love before?”
My Father sighed. “If she did, she never told me about it.”
“Do you love her at all daddy?”
“Of course I do; she gave me you. She has been a loyal wife and a great friend. I may not love her the way you love Caden, or the way I loved Beth but I do love her in my own strange way.”