Her eyes widened for a brief second when the sense of my question hit her, but I was surprised when her cheeks didn’t turn pink. I knew she wasn’t a prude as Carter Manor wouldn’t take on women who were estranged from sex, but considering the kind of sheltered life these women lived for years, I was sure she’d be a little bit more skittish.
“Obviously. It’s no secret that the Manor wouldn’t let us out without a chaperone and that was when we were lucky enough to get off of the property.’’
I nodded and once again traced my lower lip. Her eyes followed the movement of my finger, but it didn’t seem as if she got aroused at watching my mouth. The way she stared at me made it as if a scientist was studying a specimen of some sort.
“Then, Lila, I can assure you that you’ll come to me at one point.’’ I leaned closer to her and let my lips ‘accidentally’ brush against the shell of her ear. “Your body will betray you and I’ll be there to make you burn with a desire you’ve never known.’’
She shivered and when I pulled away, sure I’d find some trace of desire on her face I only found anger. Her eyes were narrow slits, her mouth stretched into a thin line as her small fists clenched along her body. She was vibrating with the burning need to put me in my place.
My cock was rock hard and my whole body burned from the insane need to take her and make her scream my name, to strip her of her temper until there was only a vixen in bed left. Even my fingertips tingled with the urge to touch her and explore her sinful curves that begged any man close by to touch and revel in.
Maybe it was because I hadn’t had sex since I had met Lila, or she truly was irresistible, but the fact remained; the lust I felt for her was unprecedented and the way she didn’t try to hide her temper while remaining a well-educated woman made me all the more eager to sink into her.
I didn’t expect that lust to last beyond that one time with her, or maybe a handful more if the sex was really good, but the end result would be the same as usual. I got easily bored with women and even the ring on her finger and my name attached to hers wouldn’t change that.
“You said I underestimate you, but you underestimate me too. Now, if you’ll excuse me I’d like to go to my room.’’ Her small chin jutted as cold determination seemed to chase away her anger. She was fighting for control and it looked like she had plenty, something I only wanted to take away from her all the more.
She made to walk past me, but I stopped her with a well-placed smirk that she didn’t miss.
“Our room, you mean. You didn’t think I’d book a suite with two bedrooms I hope.’’
“There’s only one bedroom,’’ she said with a voice that belayed how stunned she was by the news.
“My dear wife, we’re newlyweds.’’ I kept my eyes on hers and I was pleased when she didn’t try and look away. If anything, her eyes kept me there, enthralled and momentarily blindsided when I saw the sadness peeking briefly. I didn’t let that destabilize me and powered on. “We’re supposed to be unable to keep our hands off of each other. We’re supposed to tear each other’s clothes off.’’ I leaned closer to her face until our lips were a breath away and it made my cock twitch again when her breathing hitched. “I’m supposed to make you scream again and again all night long, Lila.’’
“Do you really think this is supposed to have an effect on me?’’ she retorted in a sassy tone, trying like hell to be cold and distant, but that mask had huge cracks. At seeing these cracks, I wanted her even more, if only to show her who truly was in control here, but playing with her was too tempting and I knew very well that she was stubborn enough to deny herself and me too.
“Oh, but it does, Lila.’’ I let my eyes fall to her chest before I locked eyes with her again. “For instance, your pupils are dilated, you’re breathing faster and your cheeks are a little bit more pink than earlier.’’
“It has nothing to do with lust.’’
“Even the fact that you’re fidgeting right now, probably trying to press your thighs together?’’ She narrowed her eyes on me and froze. God, she gave me a thrill like no other. My smirk widened and it only made her sneer at me. “Years of abstinence will make you beg me to get you off and I’ll love every sinful minute of it.’’
“Get ready to wait a really long time, Mathis.’’
My name coming from her mouth had me so hard I was probably leaking pre-cum in my underwear and that contrast between the proper and chic exterior of my wife in her wedding dress and me in my perfectly tailored three piece suit with the naughty part underneath of me hard as a rock and ready to take my wife, and so without a doubt in my mind, her wet in her panties, had me almost mad with lust.
I had never been as barely hanging onto my control before with a woman, maybe because all the women I had a brief fling or a one-night stand with weren’t fighting their desire for me and there weren’t any kind of games at stake contrary to what Lila and I had going. And these women weren’t my wife.
“We’ll see, Lila. We’ll see.’’
LILA
My arms and shoulders ached. That’s what happened when you didn’t want to ask your husband to unbutton your wedding dress and you had to twist in weird angles to get the work done on your own.
I sighed and kept on staring at my wedding dress now safely covered and hanging behind the bathroom door. Now wearing pajama pants and a tank top, both made of a fine brown silk that shimmered under the light in the bathroom, I considered how long I could extend my stay in the luxurious bathroom before I had to join my husband in the bedroom on the other side of that door.
Mathis Grimes scared me.
It wasn’t because I thought he’d physically hurt me or that he would be mean just for the sake of it, but I hated the game he played with me and it frightened me how easily he could have the upper hand on me. Earlier he proved to me that he could have me, my body betrayed me with just an invasion of personal space and a few well placed words along with that wicked smirk of his.
I couldn’t ignore the fact that even if I wanted to pretend that the lack of sex in the past four years wasn’t important, the truth was as any other red blooded woman, I missed sex. I missed the fact that sex could make everything else fade away for a brief moment, that my body could burn so hot that the sheer pleasure could bring a smile to my face when nothing else made me want to smile.
At the Manor, missing sex wasn’t a problem. I had always been with other women and the few men I had been in contact with had been a few tutors and none of them were at all attractive. The few parties hosted at the Manor had been tests for us, the dolls, and during these tests sex had never been on my mind. The only time I had to think of sex was when we had to use some toys in our respective rooms for our sexual enlightenment as our tutor, Ms. Harlington, said. That was a sordid affair to me as playing with sex toys was homework and not for pleasure. Apparently, even if we weren’t expected to lock down our husband so he wouldn’t stray, we were expected to be good lovers.
“You can stay in here if you want, Lila, but it’s rather ridiculous.’’
Mathis’ voice startled me from my thoughts of the past and made me gasp. “I wasn’t finished,’’ I bit back and without giving myself enough time to think about it any more, I twisted the doorknob and opened the door.
I had no idea how my eyes didn’t bug out of my head upon seeing him. Not once during my small panic attack in the bathroom had I thought of what Mathis would be wearing to go to bed. Somehow, I only focused on the amount of skin I showed and the kind of proximity a bed forced two people when sleeping in the same one. Now I knew I should have been smarter and prepared to face some of my husband’s flesh. And muscles.
While I was sure the pajama pants he wore were expensive, what truly had my attention was his chest, fully bared to me. When I first saw this man in his tailored suit, I had known he had the kind of body someone sculpted with intense physical activity beyond what genetics had already given him. Knowing something was very different from seeing it.
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br /> Mathis was standing there, his dark eyes calculating as mine slowly traveled down his torso, stopping a moment to take in his strong arms and the muscles even more defined than I expected and the veins, few but defined, running along his forearms. Then, my eyes caught his pecs, impossible to miss but not overly buffed and his flat nipples of the same dark pink color as his lips. Of course, my eyes went further down and my breath hitched upon seeing his abs, a real six pack leading to his navel and then a fine trail of hair that got lost in the waistband of his pajama pants hanging low enough to let me get a peek of the ‘v’ that made every woman salivate.
My breathing accelerated, my blood rushed through my veins and the worst, something I couldn’t possibly control, I felt myself getting wet.
“No underwear? Are you trying to tempt me, Lila?’’
I blinked and locked eyes with him and once again the stark contrast between the wicked smirk and the distance in his eyes got to me. I wondered what he looked like when he truly smiled and it reached his eyes. I quickly banished that thought, way too dangerous for more than one reason.
“It’s been a long day and I’m exhausted. Let’s just end this day now and stop this power play going.’’ I sighed then and without waiting for his answer I tore my eyes away and made my way to the huge bed. With my back to him I had no idea if he was looking at me or not, maybe staring at my behind, but my whole body burned hotter by the second anyway.
For days, weeks even, I had thought I’d have to let this man, my husband that I despised, put his hands on me and take his pleasure while participating as expected of me, to make it good for him, but the out he had given me today changed everything. I didn’t know what to make of the contradictory thoughts plaguing me or the way my body reacted, seemingly going into two very different directions.
I pulled the covers and quickly, probably with less grace than I should show after being taught to move with grace and poise, I climbed in bed and pulled the covers completely over myself until only my head peeked out. I relaxed immediately now that I was sure my nipples wouldn’t make an appearance if they betrayed me.
My eyes wandered to him as he made his way to the bed. Watching him walk was something entirely too enticing. Before, I had never fully understood in books when they talked about the male character walking like a panther or lion or any feline, but now I did.
Mathis’ steps were controlled, but seemed to slither in such a smooth way that all his muscles looked honed to answer to all his commands. The strength in his body was unmistakable and somehow I found myself unable to look away, not until he pulled away the covers on his side of the bed and joined me. Then it was hard for me not to stop looking at the high ceiling above us while I tensed when the bed slightly caved on his side as he situated himself.
The bed was big enough that no part of my body touched his and I was thankful, so much so that I had half a mind to find the name of the palace’s director to send them a gift basket for such accommodation. However, I was well aware that we were in the same bed and that my body was hotter than usual.
Sexual frustration wasn’t something I had thought would be an issue. Apparently, I still had had some naïveté left in me.
“To fall asleep you need to relax first,’’ he said with a wicked smirk I could hear as he turned off the light and rearranged his pillow. At his every move, the last traces of his cologne hit me and it only made my body coil tighter while my head kept on screaming at me for letting my body getting away with such a shameless reaction.
“I’ve managed for almost twenty-five years,’’ I bit back and sighed as I decided to turn on my side so I wouldn’t be tempted to let my eyes drink him in once my sight got used to the darkness.
“When I decided to go through with this marriage I had never envisioned my wedding night quite like this.’’
I nibbled on my lip at his sincere words. I couldn’t pinpoint the kind of thoughts he had running through his twisted mind considering his voice was rather flat, but I supposed that as any man in this situation would be disappointed for not getting laid, but I was sure that he’d remedy it as soon as tomorrow with one of the women he certainly called frequently to take the edge off. Somehow, I couldn’t exactly picture that man at a bar doing the chasing like most red blooded men in this day and age. Somehow, Mathis Grimes seemed like the kind of man who was chased after a well-placed appreciative glance a woman’s way and maybe a slight flirtation to drill home he was open if only she would do the work of propositioning him. It was no surprise if my reasoning tended to go that course considering the kind of mind game he was playing with me.
“Me neither,’’ I mumbled and drew the covers closer to me when I felt air hitting my shoulder. “If you expect some sort of apology—‘’
“Of course not,’’ he retorted shortly without giving me a chance to finish my sentence. I bristled in the darkness, but I didn’t dare move when I felt him turning on his side and I just knew it wasn’t to look away from me. The man lived for torturing me and if he knew how much of an effect he had on me right now he’d be insufferable and impossible to resist. Sex deprivation could very well render an adult woman a slave to her hormones. I was pathetic. “I’d be disappointed, Lila. You’re the kind of woman who fights even when you’ve lost. That’s a lot more of a turn on than I would have ever expected.’’ The bed caved some more as he moved and the warmth coming from him became more present. I tensed and brought my legs closer to me in a fetal position when the bed caved so much that if I let myself relax I’d be rolling into him. But still, his body didn’t touch mine. I couldn’t see him in this position, but I was aware of him close by, the presence so potent and heavy it became difficult for me to breathe as if all the oxygen was re-routed to fill his lungs right behind me. When he exhaled, the air hit the back of my head and raised goosebumps all over my skin. “And let’s be honest, little wife. You’d rather be screaming in pleasure right now instead of hiding under these covers.’’
My first instinct was to turn over and glare at him in the darkness to hit him with some choice words, but my common sense stopped me just in time. He’d be too happy to get me to turn over to face him. I wouldn’t give him that satisfaction. Or any satisfaction even if his words had me squeezing my thighs together. “I’d rather not dignify that statement. Now, if you don’t mind, I’m trying to fall asleep.’’
Silence greeted me and with it my heart drummed a fast rhythm in my chest as my nerves twisted into knots so tight I knew I’d be hard at work to try and untie them. I was starting to believe that silence with my husband never bode well.
His big hand landed on my shoulder and he pulled on it until I was on my back and blinking furiously as his face appeared over me with a deep frown etched on it. He was so close that the air leaving his flared nostrils brushed over my neck and cheeks in a caress that made it impossible for me to hide the shiver that coursed through me. “I’ll let you in on a little something, Lila,’’ he said and leaned even closer. His nose almost touched mine, but only his hand still on my, now uncovered, shoulder touched me. “I know how a woman’s body reacts when she is sexually attracted. If you think for one second I hadn’t realized that you’re drowning in lust you’re very mistaken.’’
“So?’’ I asked bravely, but knowing full well that I couldn’t muster another word beyond that one. My breathing was already getting faster as my heart hammered fiercely in my chest. The only consolation prize was that his own breathing was getting heavier as his eyes trailed over my slightly parted lips.
His fingers traced an odd shape on the skin of my shoulder and I felt that touch in the deepest part of me, making me ache for something that made me furious for wanting such things with a man I despised.
“We’re married and we’re going to live together… share a bed.’’ His hand trailed up until he cupped my burning cheek in his big palm and his fingers delved in my hair probably splayed everywhere on my pillow around my head. “You’re a smart woman. You know it’s inevita
ble and it’s going to happen sooner than you think.’’
My throat started to close in on itself as the certainty behind his words hit me and seemed to swipe away my assurance. In the quiet room after the long day, I was left there to feel like a young woman without any experience and so out of my depth I couldn’t gather enough words to form a coherent sentence. Until his eyes fell to my mouth once again.
“You can play with me all you want, but it’s not going to happen tonight, Mathis.’’
His hand shook slightly against my cheek before he offered me a smirk that both lit me up and made me narrow my eyes on him. The slight tremble in his hand disappeared as soon as it appeared and if it weren’t for the responding shiver in my body, I’d think I had imagined it. I couldn’t decipher that man.
“I know. Right now, I’m just enjoying the effect I have on you.’’ He brushed his nose against mine and pulled his hand away from my face. I heard him inhaling so close to me and I was frozen there, lying partially under him while we now only touched with our noses. My whole being buzzed with the kind of restlessness that only an orgasm could cure. My mind was oddly bereft while my hands took a fistful of the sheets covering us. “Good night, Lila.’’
And just like that he retreated to his side of the bed, put one hand behind his head under the pillow and the other on his six pack just above the covers. One quick glance further down showed me the impressive tent in the bedsheets he didn’t try to hide. I snapped my head away from him and fixed on the high ceiling above hidden by the darkness.
It took a great deal of effort to control my breathing while my chest heaved and burned from the need for more oxygen, but I didn’t want to give him the satisfaction of knowing that he quite literally stole my breath. I only had a small part of dignity left and I’d clung onto it with all the strength I had. I only hoped that my strength would resist when colliding with my husband’s vices.
Be A Doll: A Carter Manor Novel Page 7