by Ruby Moone
Jack’s eyes closed as the soft music drifted around them. Michael found the courage to ask the question burning in his brain.
“Did he…hurt you?”
Jack peeled open an eye. “I was out of it for a while, but nothing hurts, so maybe he didn’t.”
“Thank God.” The breath that Michael had been holding came out, making him light headed. The thought that Bryce could have followed through this time, could have raped him… He still felt sick at the thought. At how vulnerable Jack had been.
“Do you remember anything at all?”
Jack shook his head. “I remember saying goodbye to you and getting out of the car, but I don’t think I made it as far as getting into the bar. I woke up in a basement flat in Chinatown feeling like absolute crap.”
“How did you get out?”
Jack’s grin was wan. “Broke the window. It came away in a pretty big panel, so I got away without cutting my feet.”
“Christ.” Michael’s head was spinning.
“I’ve had worse. Don’t worry.”
“I’m sorry.” Michael said. He didn’t know what else to say.
“What for?” Jack looked genuinely confused.
“I’m sorry this happened to you. Sorry I thought you’d…” He gestured vaguely. He swallowed, desperate to put it all right, but not quite knowing how. He grasped at one thing he thought might reassure Jack. He’d not been keen about moving in with him, so maybe…he sighed.
“The flats I told you about? They’re ready if you want your own space. I’ll work out a deal for you. I’ll help you, it will be okay, I promise.”
Jack’s eyes widened. “Oh. Thank you.” He swallowed and looked at his hands. “When do you want me to move out?”
“It’s up to you. No rush.” I don’t want you to ever move out. I want to live with you, love you for the rest of my life.
Soft Christmas songs wove around them, and the tree lights twinkled. Jack got up and went to stand by the window. He folded his arms and looked out across the city.
“Everyone’s partying.”
Michael stood up and went to stand beside him. “Yeah. You should let Noah and Kev know that you are safe.”
Jack nodded, and for a moment, Michael thought Jack might lean into him, but he didn’t. He stood and shook himself. “I’d best pack.”
“Pack?”
“If you want me gone, I’d best sort my stuff out.” He hesitated. “I’m sorry I messed up. I’m sorry I messed us up. I thought… I thought…” He broke off as his voice wobbled. “I hope your mum’s not too disappointed tomorrow.”
Michael was trying to process what he was saying. Messed up? “Aren’t you coming tomorrow?”
“Well, I didn’t imagine you’d want me to.”
Something stirred inside Michael. Had he misunderstood Jack’s silence? It was entirely possible, he was so fucking rubbish at reading people.
“Jack.” He licked his lips. “Jack, the only reason I’m offering you a place of your own is because you said you weren’t ready to live with me.” He shrugged helplessly. “I thought you were angry with me for thinking that you’d…for thinking that you’d left me. Thinking that you and Bryce were part of some sort of scam, that you’d…” He raised his hands and let them flop by his side. “I’ve been out of my head worrying, wondering how the fuck I’m going to manage without you. I’m offering you an out if you need one. If you don’t want to be here. Not because I want you to go.”
Jack opened his mouth then shut it. He ran his hand over the back of his head and let out a soft laugh. “You know, when I dragged myself out of some shitty house with no shoes on, to get here. To get back to you. I imagined falling into your arms like some sort of romance movie. I thought it would all be okay and we’d just…” He shrugged.
Michael’s heart was thudding steadily, and his hands trembled. “That bit about falling into each other’s arms. Do you think we could ignore how shit I am with words and just skip to that?”
He didn’t dare look up.
Jack’s body hit his with the force of a blow. They clung together. Not speaking, just holding. Absorbing. Remembering the feel and the shape of each other. Jack’s arms were crushing him, and Michael was sure he was holding Jack tight enough to hurt. He eased up. Jack sniffed and swallowed and brought his face up, so they could look at each other.
“Silly sod,” he whispered and touched his nose to the side of Michael’s. “Fancy thinking I’d ever leave you.” He kissed the corner of Michael’s mouth. Michael followed blindly trying to capture his lips.
Jack took hold of his face and kissed him. Michael groaned into his mouth and kissed him back, plunging his hands into his hair and holding him steady. There was nothing in the world like kissing Jack. Nothing.
When Jack emerged, he was dazed. His eyes were hazy, his lips soft and pink. He looked at Michael and Michael’s heart thumped painfully.
“Stay,” he whispered, kissing him softly, gently. “Stay here with me. Live with me?”
Jack’s eyes filled with tears as he nodded, but his next words almost undid
Michael.
“I love you. I love you so much…” Jack’s voice cracked.
Michael trembled and buried his face in Jack’s neck. He tried to find some semblance of a voice and pulled back to look at Jack. It came out as a croaked whisper.
“I love you too. So damned much.”
Chapter Fourteen
They stood outside Michael’s parents’ house in the softly falling snow. It was very Christmassy. Jack held out his hand and smiled as the flakes landed on his gloves.
“Pretty.”
“Freezing. We’d better get in.”
There was such reluctance in Michael’s tone. Jack looked at him and smiled. “Don’t worry. I’ll behave.”
“I know you will, it’s just…parents.”
Jack dipped his head. He didn’t know how lucky he was to have parents that cared about him, made him Christmas dinner and wanted to meet his boyfriends. He didn’t say anything, but Michael picked up on it immediately.
“Sorry. Sorry.” He clasped Jack’s gloved hand.
“It’s fine. I just hope they like me. I still feel a bit out of it. I don’t want them to think I’m weird.”
“They will love you. Dad’s a bit… stand-offish, but he’s like that with everyone. Mum’s fine, and you’re not acting weird at all. I’ll just say you’ve had a bug or something if you feel ill.”
The door opened, and Jack turned to see Michael’s mother standing in the doorway. Small, dark haired, with Michael’s eyes.
“Darling!” She stood back to let them in, and then hugged Michael. He hugged her back, swaying gently, then turned to him with his mother still tucked under his arm. “Mum, this is Jack.”
Michael’s mum smiled and tilted her head to one side. “Oh, Jack. You don’t know how good it is to meet you.”
He tried not to laugh as Michael rolled his eyes, but when she came to him with her arms outstretched, he allowed himself to be pulled into a hug. A warm, motherly hug. It was lovely.
“Let them in, Andrea, don’t keep them on the doorstep.”
Jack pulled back and looked up to find Michael’s father standing in the hall. He looked a bit like Michael, not overly tall, trim and good looking. Jack put his parents in their late sixties, but both looked well.
“Dad. I’d like you to meet Jack.” Michael was tense. Jack could see it in his shoulders, the set of his chin, the tone of his voice.
Jack held his breath and stuck out his hand. “Mr. Cross. Good to meet you.”
His father hesitated and then shook hands. “You’re younger than I imagined. How old are you?”
“Dad!” Michael hissed.
“It’s fine. I’m twenty-five, Mr. Cross.”
He just nodded. “How long have you been together?”
“Geoffrey, can we let them sit down before you start the interrogation?” His father made a harrumphing sound and
turned and headed for what looked like the lounge.
“Drink, darling?” His mum headed for the kitchen, and Jack followed Michael to be interrogated.
He sat on the sofa beside him and clasped his hands between his knees as they both faced his father who sat in what Jack presumed to be his chair.
“You’ll have to forgive me. It’s all a bit new to me. I never realised you were…um…gay. Apparently, your mother thought you might be but never thought to mention it.” He twiddled his fingers and cleared his throat.
“Dad. It’s fine. I should have said sooner, I…”
He held up a hand. “Michael. Don’t apologise. I should be the one apologising.” He cleared his throat. “I’m not always the quickest on the uptake, but I’m not completely out of step with the world. Even if I might be with my son.” He cleared his throat again. Jack was mesmerised, and judging by Michael’s face, so was he.
Mr Cross looked directly at him. “Jack. I’m glad to have you here.”
“Thank you,” Jack said and smiled. He glanced at Michael who was staring fixedly at the carpet.
His mother came into the room with a tray bearing tea and what looked like mince pies. Michael got up to help her.
“So, Jack. What do your parents do?” she said as she handed out mince pies and plates. She sat in the chair opposite Michael’s father.
Jack swallowed and watched Michael’s back tense. He felt the only thing he could be was honest. “Well, my parents died a long time ago, so I’ve mainly been in the care of foster families and the like.” He didn’t look at Mr. Cross as he spoke. He just wanted to get this bit out of the way and pray that they didn’t think that he wasn’t good enough for Michael.
“Sorry to hear that.” He nodded and frowned. “So, what do you do? Is the same kind of thing that Michael does?”
Jack opened his mouth, but Michael answered. “It is. Jack joined us a junior member of the team…” He shrugged.
“Well, that might be awkward,” his father said.
Jack swallowed, and Michael sighed.
“Geoffrey. I’m sure they’ve thought of all that. Now, boys, I think it might be Christmas stocking time….” She waggled her eyebrows and Michael laughed. Jack had brought a bottle of wine for Mr. Cross and a box of chocolates for Mrs. Cross. Michael said that would be fine. He glanced at the tree. There seemed to be an awful lot of gifts around it. She started handing them out, and Jack was overwhelmed. He sat with about half a dozen wrapped gifts on his lap and didn’t know what to do.
“Just open them, sweetheart,” his mum said softly. “They’re from Michael’s cousins and aunts and uncles. When they heard about you, they wanted to get you something.”
“But I didn’t get them anything.”
She came and perched on the sofa arm where he sat and took his hand. “That’s because you haven’t met them yet. Next year, you can buy all manner of things. For now, enjoy. They’re not much, just a token, but we didn’t want you to feel left out.”
Jack’s chest was so tight it was hard to speak so he started opening and found a scarf, socks, a couple of paperbacks, thrillers that were popular at the moment, chocolates, and a pack of fancy looking beer. It was incredible. He ran his hands over it all. From Michael’s mum and dad, there was a beautiful, blue winter coat. He had to breathe steadily for a few moments before he could speak.
“Thank you. Thank you so much. It’s perfect.”
They arrived home feeling well fed and pleasantly tired. Michael’s parents were lovely. His mum had hugged him, and his dad had patted him awkwardly on the back. He was fairly certain that was as demonstrative as it got. It explained some about Michael.
They showered, collapsed on the sofa, Jack with his PJ’s on, Michael in sweats, and Jack lay against Michael in his favourite spot. They lay watching TV for a couple of hours, just letting the day drift over them. Jack was feeling better, still a bit weak, and still feeling a bit battered and shaken, but laying in Michael’s arms was the only place he wanted to be.
“We should exchange gifts now,” Michael murmured into Jack’s hair after a while.
Jack squirmed to look up at him. “I hope you didn’t go mad. I only got you a little pressie.”
“Just a couple of things.”
Jack’s smile was infectious. “Let’s do it.”
They both jumped up and disappeared to gather gifts from hidden places and reconvened on the rug in front of the fire. They both sat cross legged, barefoot, grinning like idiots.
“You first.”
Jack waggled his eyebrows at Michael and opened his parcel carefully. In it, was a tablet and a smartphone. “Oh, my God,” he breathed as he took the shiny gorgeousness from the boxes and examined them. “You shouldn’t have.”
“I didn’t know what to get you.”
“This is…perfect. Thank you.” He leaned over and kissed Michael. The gift was exciting, but so expensive. Nothing like he’d bought for Michael in return. He felt a bit sheepish as he handed over the package.
Michael took it and looked awkward. “What?” Jack asked.
“Nothing, I’m just not very good at opening presents.”
Jack laughed. “What? How can you not be good at it?”
Michael gave him a wry smile. “I never know how to react.”
Jack took his hand and squeezed. “Just smile and kiss me. It’ll be fine.”
Michael laughed and pulled at the paper. He pulled out the picture frame that Jack had bought and stared at the photo he’d put in it. It was the one of them in the Christmas market. Windblown, pink cheeked, but both laughing and looking so happy it was like something from a greetings card. They both looked handsome. Michael, with his dark eyes and dark hair looked broody and gorgeous.
Michael looked at it a long time and then nodded. He glanced up and Jack was sure there were tears in his eyes. He leaned over and kissed him, long and tender.
“I love it. Thank you.”
Jack handed over a second, larger package and Michael tore it open and pulled out fleecy blue PJ’s in the same pattern as his red ones. He held them up and laughed. “Perfect.”
He was still laughing when Jack handed over another package.
Michael shook it, then cautiously opened it. A box of condoms and a bottle of lube fell into his hands. He stared at them for a long time. Jack’s heart was hammering in his chest.
Michael looked up.
“I want you.” Jack’s voice was wobbly. He couldn’t help it. “It’s not a thank you or anything like that,” he said hurriedly, “I just really, really want you.”
Michael’s gave him a look that was filled with love and warmth. “I know it’s not. I want you too. So much. Love you so much.”
He leaned over and kissed him. Long and slow, but before the kiss got out of hand, he pulled back, stroked Jack’s cheek in the way that sent shivers down his spine, and pulled a small, flat box out of his pocket. He hesitated, then gave it to him.
Now it was Jack’s turn to hesitate. He opened it carefully. He unwrapped the box and opened the lid cautiously. In it, lay a key. A door key. His door key on a key ring and on the fob, it said, ‘Two’s Company’ in fancy writing. He looked up at Michael, not quite sure.
“I know you’ve technically had a key for a while, but… I want us to live together. I know it’s probably too soon, too much, and I still don’t know what we do about work but if I’ve learned nothing this past two days, it’s grab the one you love and never let him go.” He cleared his throat. “I want this to be your home as well as mine.”
Jack swiped at the tears that were rolling down his face with the back of his hand.
Michael cleared the paper and debris that sat between them and kneeled in front of him. “Jack Whelan, I love you. I almost lost you yesterday and the thought of not having you, not seeing you, of you not being part of my life is something I never want to go through again.” He pulled in a breath, and his eyes were wet. Jack felt himself tremble at the thought th
at this man, this beautiful man loved him. Wanted him. Needed him.
Jack put the box on the floor beside him and buried his face in his hands for a moment to get himself under control, then looked up. Michael’s brown eyes were filled with love, warmth, and something else.
“I love you too. I’d love to live with you. I want us to be together forever too.”
Michael cupped his face, tilted his head, and slowly, oh so slowly, in the way that made Jack’s heart melt, bent and touched their lips together in the tenderest, most loving kiss of his life.
Jack pulled away and rubbed his nose against Michael’s. “That’s the best Christmas present I could ever have.”
“What?”
“You. A home with you. That you trust me enough to want me…”
Michael looked at him for a moment, and then his eyes filled with tears. Jack was certain he was remembering the night he’d told him he’d never found a forever home. His next words confirmed it.
“A forever home? This is your forever home? With you in it, It’s my forever home too.”
A tear hung on Michael’s eyelashes for a moment, then splashed onto his cheek. “I did trust you. I wobbled a bit, but I did. I knew you wouldn’t do anything to hurt me.”
Jack felt his chin quiver. He couldn’t speak so he just nodded. His heart was too full.
“I need you to trust in me too,” Michael said. “I’ll always say the wrong things, but don’t ever think I’m trying to get rid of you.”
Jack understood what he was trying to say. He nodded. He would probably always think the worst, imagine that it wasn’t going to last. That was all he’d ever known. Nothing had ever lasted.
He looked at Michael. “If you did want rid of me, you’d just say, wouldn’t you?”
Michael looked sheepish. “Probably.”
Jack laughed. “I need to stop reading too much into things.”