She first walked through this cemetery not that long after her first visit to the museum. She’d been captivated by the story of Sarah Carmichael Benedict. How she’d been able to empathize with the young woman—yes, Sarah had been eighteen when her father had sold her into marriage, but Ari reasoned she’d been younger in her innocence than Ari herself had been at fourteen.
It had been a poignant moment when she’d first seen the graves of Sarah and her husbands. She’d learned that Sarah had buried her men first, not that many years apart, and lived about another twenty without them, dying in 1955.
She’d seen the graves of Adam Kendall, Warren Jessop, and Amanda Jessop-Kendall, and noticed a similar pattern. Amanda had passed just a couple of years before Sarah.
I wonder what it would be like to love two men for so very long, and then have to be without them. Was it better to love, and then be alone, than to never love?
The answer had to be yes. Though she had learned of these people and then seen their graves just a few days after, she knew they’d built a life together, and had lived and loved and prospered.
Ari stood for a moment and let her thoughts wander over the people buried here—people she would never know. Some of them were Cord and Jackson’s ancestors. She walked to the corner, just before the little well-kept yard followed the fence line and jogged to the left—or north, she thought, orienting herself.
Jacob, James, and Rosie O’Toole Benedict had been laid to rest here, under the shade of a Texas oak. And here, she noted, the pattern changed, for Rosie had passed first. Ari had visited the museum more than once, for there was just something compelling about the place, and the history held within its walls. She recalled that all of Rosie’s sons had left Lusty, never to return to live there again. One had died in the Second World War, two who also served in that conflict had stayed in Europe once peace had been declared, marrying over there and never coming home except to visit, one time for each of them. Then the final two sons had moved away—Emerson, who’d gone to Montana, and Christopher, who’d settled in upstate New York.
When Rosie had died, her husbands wouldn’t have had the comfort of their own sons to sustain them. “It must have been very hard for your men to go on without you, Rosie O’Toole Benedict.”
“Yes, it was very hard.”
Ari nearly jumped out of her skin. Of course, it wasn’t a voice from beyond the grave that had spoken. Ari looked over, and saw what she had missed until now, because she’d been so absorbed in her own thoughts.
Kate Benedict sat alone on a wooden bench, just by the corner of the fence. She hadn’t ever ventured around the corner so she hadn’t known a bench was there. But one look at the nonagenarian, and Ari found herself moving closer to the woman.
She’s been crying!
Kate Benedict forever seemed like a woman who was always smiling and busy and, well, crying and tears just didn’t seem to belong in the same thought as Kate Benedict.
“Hello, Ari. I didn’t mean to startle you.” Kate smiled at her, as if her eyes weren’t red rimmed. “If you’re not in a hurry, you could sit with me for a bit.”
It wasn’t that Ari didn’t like Kate. She did, very much. However, so far, she hadn’t given in and called her Grandma Kate like everyone else did.
She supposed her reasoning was a bit perverse. There was a part of her that wished more than anything that the woman really could have been her grandmother.
If Kate had been my granny, then I would have been able to go to her when my mother’s husband raped me. I wouldn’t have had to run away.
Kate would never have slapped her face and called her a whore and a liar, the way her own mother had done.
“I’m sorry if I’ve invaded your privacy.” Ari sat down and looked at the headstones that Kate had chosen to sit near. Gerald Caleb Benedict and Patrick Warren Benedict. No wife lay between them, of course, because she was sitting right next to Ari.
“I guess you must miss them a lot.”
“Every single day. Sometimes, like today, I give in to the tears. And yet, I have only to look at my sons, and grandsons, and I can see them—parts of them, little traits, little quirks. Sarah’s daughter, Chelsea, married into the Jessop-Kendall clan, and so I see similarities in practically every member of the families.”
“But it’s not the same.”
“No, it’s not the same. They’re waiting for me, and they’ve told me there’s no hurry. They aren’t going anywhere else without me.”
Ari grinned at that.
Kate nodded over toward Rosie’s grave. “Aunt Rosie left us very suddenly—even before Grandmother Sarah did. It was a shock to everyone, of course. But Jacob and James were…they were devastated, and completely lost without her. We did what we could to comfort them. We all did.”
“Were they resentful that all their sons had left? I think I would be.”
“Resentful? No, not so much. But they were lonely. Before Rosie died, and in the aftermath of their being left here alone, we adopted them as second parents, my men and I, and as extra grandparents to our own children. Rosie had been so welcoming of me when I first arrived here in Lusty.” Kate sighed, and then she looked at Ari. “This isn’t the first time you’ve been here, is it?”
Ari felt her face turn just the slightest bit pink. It had just occurred to her that while this was an interesting cemetery to her, it was an emotional and probably spiritual place for Mrs. Benedict. She didn’t often volunteer anything personal, but she thought that under the circumstances, she owed a bit of a debt.
“One of the few memories I have of my Nana was visiting cemeteries with her. She would take me to visit her husband, and great aunts and uncles—all on my dad’s side, of course. I must have felt very close to her because those are warm memories for me.” Ari shrugged. “Shortly after Chloe hired me, Tasha and I visited the museum here in town. I was intrigued by the stories I found there.”
“It’s an interesting place to visit. There has been more than one adventurer in the family tree, and more than one exciting adventure in our past.” She looked out over the entire cemetery. “What do you see when you look around here?”
“Love. Love and constancy.” How ironic that she would pick that particular word. Ari had never really thought about it before, but the answer to Kate’s question had risen up from within her and she needed to get it out. “I see several generations of the same family. I see mates found and loved and lived with…and buried with. That speaks of a kind of love and loyalty I never knew existed until I came here.”
“The world has changed in so many ways since I first came to this town. It’s more accepting of people who want to live in the way people do here in Lusty, although there are still plenty of judgmental folks to go around.”
“It’s been my experience that the ones who judge the loudest are the ones who turn out to be the biggest hypocrites.” Ari couldn’t help but think of her mother. She’d had ten years to get used to the fact that her mother had put her new husband ahead of her only daughter, that she had believed him instead of her.
In a way, Ari got it. Kids lied, and any adult dealing with kids had to know that. But she hadn’t been in the habit of lying. She’d been the one the other kids called “brown noser” because she’d never flaunted the rules. There’d been no secret smokes, no sneaked drinks or sex in her life.
And no reason whatsoever for her mother not to believe her except belief would have made her maybe have to give up the cushy life of being a city councilman’s wife. Her mother had had plans, obviously, and now that she was a congressman’s wife, Ari imagined she’d gotten what she wanted.
Believing her daughter would have made Frances Bishop’s life too uncomfortable.
“Will you tell me what has your heart so heavy, child?”
Ari looked over at one of the truly sweetest women she’d ever known. She hadn’t realized her mental and emotional wrangling had shown. “I don’t think I can. Not yet.” And then, because the moment
seemed to call for it, she said, “But if it’s all right, I’ll keep your offer in mind for future use, Grandma Kate.”
Kate Benedict gave her the most beautiful smile. “You do that, sweetheart. Everyone needs someone they can go to when they’re troubled. When I was your age, I had Sarah and Amanda, and, of course, my mother-in-law, Maddie.”
Ari blinked. “I guess I didn’t appreciate that you actually knew Sarah and Amanda!”
“Knew them? Oh, my darling, they were the ones who’d sneakily arranged for me to be sent here in the first place—and all because their grandsons had met me in Virginia and decided that I was the only woman for them.”
“Oh, I’d love to hear that story sometime!” Ari grinned, imagining that this woman sitting so genteelly beside her must have been…well, quite the lusty lady in her day.
“Well, if you have time now, I’d love to tell it to you.” She looked over at the two headstones, a soft smile on her face. “They were certainly the most handsome, and outrageous men I had ever met…”
Ari let her thoughts go and took in the dulcet tones of Kate Benedict telling her about her own bodacious brothers Benedict. Thoughts of a certain pair of quarterbacks-slash-cowboys came to mind, and Ari wondered if maybe she wouldn’t come away from this afternoon with a couple of pointers on how to deal with them.
Chapter 11
They took her to a restaurant in Waco, one that she’d never been to, that served steak and beer. They also had peanuts by the bucket to eat and discarded peanut shells scattered on the floor. There was music and dancing, and unlike the wedding of a few days before, they took turns dancing with her, and kept it all looking platonic rather than romantic.
“Hey, I know who you are!”
Ari’s heart skipped a beat before she realized the two young men who’d come up to their table were talking to Cord and Jackson, and not to her.
“You’re The Wonder Twins! From the Badgers!” Two college-aged young men, one with ginger hair and one with dark, stood wide-eyed looking at the brothers Benedict.
“How’re you doing?” Cord nodded.
“Great! I got myself in a lot of trouble rooting for y’all over the Cowboys last season,” the redheaded young man said. “I’m Joey. Joey Carter. This is my friend Randy Johnson.”
Ari watched as the young men seemed flustered to be actually talking to the famous duo.
“Well now, I think that was very brave of you, Joey,” Jackson said. “I know how fiercely loyal Dallas fans can be.”
Joey blushed at the compliment. “Thanks. But you two made it easy. Man, I was sorry to hear y’all had to retire.”
“Thanks. Life can change on you in an instant,” Cord said. “That’s why you can’t just dream of a career in sports. You have to have a backup plan.”
“That’s what my dad said,” Randy spoke softly. “It’s why I’m majoring in business, even though I got a football scholarship to UT.”
“Your dad is a wise man,” Jackson said. “And you’re a wise one, too, Randy, for listening to him.”
“Could we get your autographs?” Joey asked.
“Sure.” Cord flagged the waitress down. “Could we borrow your pen?”
The young woman quickly summed up the situation and came back with a Sharpie, which each of the brothers used in turn to sign their fans’ T-shirts. Before they could cap the pen, there were a few more male sports fans who came over wanting autographs, and before long, there was a small group standing by their table. The men had questions about being in the NFL and what it was like to be in the spotlight. Cord and Jackson answered their fans’ questions, and listened to their comments about the sport, itself, and the sport as entertainment.
Ari found the turn of events illuminating. Neither Cord nor Jackson acted like they were celebrities, not the way she’d spoken of the state of “celebrity” to Tasha about them being before she’d met them. They were polite to their fans, and kept the conversation going. She estimated that they’d held court for about twenty minutes or so when Jackson looked at his watch.
“Oh, gee, guys, we have to head out. Sorry. But it was nice talking to you all.”
The young men thanked them and quickly dispersed. Cord paid the check, and then they escorted her out of the restaurant to the truck.
“Thank you for being so understanding,” Cord said.
“You’re welcome. I never really thought how I would feel if that ever happened. But it didn’t bother me the way I thought it might.”
“I speak for both of us when I say that we really do appreciate your patience,” Jackson said. He held the passenger side door open so she could climb in before him.
“That was a relatively mild encounter, and we truly do expect them to taper off as the current season gets further along,” Cord said. “Very soon, we’ll both be yesterday’s news, and that suits us just fine.”
“However, if any fans of the female persuasion come up to us and try to get too ‘hands on’ we would be very grateful if you’d protect us.” Jackson sounded absolutely sincere.
Ari couldn’t hold back her grin. “Aw, slick, don’t you like touchy-feely?”
“Not particularly. Ask Cord how he feels about it.” And then he snickered.
“Please.” Cord sounded none too happy. “Last year at one of our home games, this woman came up to me, all fan girl shrieking. Hell, she must have been my mother’s age.”
“Ah, a cougar?” Ari had to fight the urge to laugh out loud because clearly this was not a pleasant memory for him.
“Yeah, and a drunk one, at that. She grabbed my crotch. Can you believe it? She used both hands and gave me a squeeze, and I mean she squeezed. I felt it right through the jock. I checked myself for bruising later. Swear to God I could feel her hands on me for days after that.” Cord shivered.
Ari’s first instinct was to give in to laughter and tease him that he likely hadn’t actually minded all that much. But then she took a good look at the expression on his face.
Why would it be any different for a man than for a woman? She’d only worked one job as a waitress in a bar, and had quit because some of the patrons couldn’t keep their hands to themselves. The management of the dive hadn’t cared if the waitresses got groped or not. It was that experience that told her she wanted to work more with women than men.
“All right. I promise that if any other females try to cop a feel, I’ll protect you.”
“Thank you. The only woman I want grabbing at my crotch is you.” Cord grinned.
“You’re really going to turn my head spouting all that flowery, romantic crap,” Ari said.
Both men chuckled. Then Jackson said, “We’ve been offered a house in town to lease on a temporary basis, until we make a final decision about whether we’re going to settle down here, or not.”
“We’ve been staying with Chase, Brian, and Carrie, as you know, but we’re not really comfortable asking you back there to spend the night.” Cord had pulled his truck out of the parking lot, negotiated the traffic circle, and then headed toward the state highway, back to Lusty. He picked up her hand and kissed it.
“Not that they mind. They’ve told us to feel free to consider their place our own.” Jackson gave her a sly smile. “But it does make it awkward to have naked monkey sex in every room of the house knowing it’s not our own place.”
“We could go to my apartment,” Ari said. “I only have a queen-sized bed, and it will make a tight fit with all three of us in it. But I’m game to try it for a night or two if you are.”
“We can give it a try,” Cord said. “But we want you comfortable, sweetheart. And we only want to say yes to the Town Trust to that offer of a house if you’ll spend some nights there with us.”
“We’d prefer every night, but we don’t think you’re ready for that yet.”
“You’re right. I’m not ready for that. But I’ll spend some nights with you. ” Ari didn’t feel pressured by these two men, not at all. Her inner imp had changed its tone, whisp
ering to her to just say “to hell with it” and jump right in with both feet. She used to trust that inner imp, but wasn’t so sure that she should or even could anymore. She wanted to offer them something more, because there was so much she couldn’t—or wouldn’t—share with them just yet. “I like how it feels to be snuggled in between you. I want some more of it.”
Not for the first time she noticed the look the brothers exchanged and wondered if they had some sort of twin-psi thing going on between them. They seemed to always know what the other was thinking.
“Tinker Bell, you can have anything you want. Just ask.”
“We mean that, Red. You tell us what you want, and you can have it.”
She wasn’t in the habit of speaking without weighing her words, but she did now. “I want to be alone with you. I don’t care where we go, really. I just want to get naked with you both.”
“Well, that’s handy,” Cord said.
“Because that’s what we want, too,” Jackson said.
They headed back toward Lusty, but before they reached the small town, Cord guided his truck off the county road, onto a farm-to-market road she’d never been on before.
“Where are we headed?”
“Just a few miles out,” Cord said. “I won’t get us lost, I promise.”
“Well if you do, I have a GPS app on my cell phone,” Ari said.
“Smart-ass. We have it in the truck, too,” Jackson said. He put his arm around her and pulled her close, placing a kiss on the top of her head.
Darkness had fallen while they’d eaten dinner. But even though there wasn’t much moonlight, it wasn’t a dense darkness. The skies were clear of clouds and the stars were visible, even from inside the truck.
After about ten minutes, Cord left the FM road, turning onto what looked to be little more than a track across pastureland. Just on the very edge of the Texas Hill Country, there were small hillocks and rises and dips scattered about, but no great outcropping of rocks that she could see. Cord drove carefully, and his four-wheel drive handled the terrain without too much jostling in the cab. He stopped the truck on a slight rise, shutting down the engine and the lights.
Love Under Two Quarterbacks [The Lusty, Texas Collection] (Siren Publishing Ménage Everlasting) Page 12