Being the fucked-up one beset with a shit ton of PTSD problems, he’d never had to deal with anyone else’s issues. His were more than enough, but the way he felt about Brynn was thinning the veil between his emotional triggers and day-to-day reality. He’d had an uncomfortable moment that almost bloomed into a full-on panic attack when a delivery truck dropping off a load of lumber had sat in the driveway. An innocent enough occurrence but when he’d been standing by the cab, signing off on some paperwork, the thundering sound of a Linkin Park song came booming out of the satellite radio instantly transporting him back to those dark days in Iraq. To make matters worse, the driver was one of those tough guy wanna-be types decked out in Army Navy store tactical gear that hit a bit too close to home.
When the dude started searching for a slip of paper in one of the many cargo pockets on his pants, the sound of Velcro ripping repeatedly set off an auditory trigger that had Jax sweating like a roofer in the midday sun so fast he struggled to keep it together. A rush of anxiety, the bitter taste of heat, sand, and fear stuck in his throat as that damn song dragged him into the darkness.
Jonas must have picked up on what was happening because he came flying off the porch to Jax’s rescue, pressing an ice-cold soda can into his hand and shouldering him aside as he took over dealing with the delivery. Jax had staggered away, breathing heavily, practically crushing the can until the icy sensation seeped into his brain acting as the disconnect from the reaction overtaking his body and mind.
It had been one hell of a close call with the churning anxiety in the pit of his stomach sticking around for quite a while afterward. He’d been numb the rest of the day and distant that night. Brynn watched him like a hawk but made no attempt to pick his brain apart. It was as if she knew on some instinctual level that he was having an episode. Truth was, he was so far out on the edge of what he could realistically control that he was terrified one wrong step would send him freefalling. When they got in bed, she immediately pulled him close and held on to him through the long, confusing night.
Jax had felt compelled to explain the next morning, but she’d just kissed him sweetly, said, “Nope,” and went about her day as if nothing had happened. It struck him that the depth of trust they felt with each other was so profound that words weren’t always necessary. It didn’t mean though that he was unaware a tune-up was going to be needed, sooner rather than later. PTSD didn’t magically go away. Those triggers and responses would always be there. He’d found support and meaning through talking that shit out with other vets going through the same thing. Therapy only went so far—it was sharing and feeling that bond with others that made so much more of a difference for him.
They’d spent last Sunday walking through New Hope, blending in with the endless stream of shoppers and tourists who had come to enjoy the quaint little town on a beautifully bright autumn day that blazed with color from the turning leaves. Lots of the locals knew Brynn, and she stopped to chat with everyone and their brother. Each time someone called out to her, she’d squeeze his hand and beam when she introduced him. He felt like a million bucks basking in her delight.
His lady love was also a voracious shopper, stopping to sample gourmet oils and vinegars for the bakery and buying an entire sack filled with handmade soaps she declared were completely necessary for her new bathroom. They wandered through a store filled with stones and crystals where she enthusiastically picked up a gorgeous necklace and earring set for Charlie that had pink quartz and amethyst set in sterling silver.
There was one store though where Jax got his way when he spied a display of sexy satin, silk, and lace lingerie in every color of the rainbow. Puffing up his chest like he’d invented gift-giving, he’d purchased a dozen bras and panties, some thigh-high stockings, a very naughty looking garter belt and two pair of crotch-less panties that made Brynn furiously blush and groan out loud when he’d picked through the display until he found ones he liked. He’d even insisted on carrying the distinctive bag as they marched along the main street letting everyone know just who was going to be enjoying those naughty bits.
It was a good time. They were, for all intents and purposes, living together. She’d even let Rhiann in on their status, something he’d discovered when he’d come upon her one afternoon chatting like a magpie to an invisible presence in the bakery. Took him a moment to realize she was working and babbling at the same time with her sister via the computer. Jax was high-fiving himself when he heard her admit that she’d never been happier. Of course the minute he made his presence known, she’d quickly ended the call, but he let that part go. She’d introduce him to her family when she was ready. For now, it was enough that she wasn’t pushing him away anymore.
Jax had avoided talking to his dad—mostly because he feared his suspicion that their parents had quite artfully manipulated him and Brynn would be confirmed. A tremendous bouquet of pink roses had been delivered to the house along with a tub filled with butterscotch candies, but beyond that, Brynn’s grandmother had kept her distance.
He was relieved that there hadn’t been any further upsets because he knew they needed this time to figure out where they were headed. Jax had been formulating a plan in his mind for a new direction to point his business in, and Jonas had proved to be invaluable. He was an organizing wizard, knew the art of the deal like nobody’s business—rather ruthlessly getting the best possible prices on everything from custom fixtures to nails—and managed the day-to-day stuff of the remodel with great skill.
He knew that a certain amount of travel would still be necessary. After all, his clients were hiring his expertise and reputation, but if he handled things right, Jax envisioned bringing Jonas on as a managing supervisor. He liked Pauly and Mike so much that he started seeing them as a traveling crew whose work could be augmented wherever they went with vets from the many VFW and community outreach programs springing up around the country.
The hope that his brother would finally come home and stop giving their poor mother a fucking heart attack on a regular basis every time he competed in one of those crazy Formula One races had also grabbed hold in his mind. Nobody, absolutely nobody, was better with design than Caleb. When they’d been kids, he’d constructed a tree house for their backyard that stood to this day. It had two rooms—two fucking rooms—and a turret with a skylight and a window from which the brothers had watched the goings on in their neighborhood and plotted all sorts of youthful hijinks. By branching out his business, Jax hoped to create a different kind of metaphorical window where the two brothers could plan and dream and build a new life. A life where he would be able to settle in one spot and raise a family. With Brynn.
The calm didn’t last. How could it? That would be asking for way too much. A month had drifted by and with him and Brynn holed up in the loft while the master bedroom got torn apart to include the impressive en suite she’d wanted, he started to sense a disturbance in the force but wasn’t quite able to pin down what that meant. She was edgy, more so than usual, and several times he’d caught her in mid-meltdown over ridiculous things that were actually of no consequence. One particular boohoo fest had to do with the stickers she used on the bakery boxes being off center. The way she carried on you’d have thought it was the end of the damn world.
So here it was, a Saturday, when she was in the bakery for half the day, and he’d planned a special evening for them. The playhouse was presenting a sing-a-long performance of the movie Hairspray on the big screen that he knew Brynn would enjoy. He’d caught her singing and dancing to the soundtrack more than once and wanted to surprise her with the outing.
It was the week before Halloween with the charm of the decorations and autumn splendor all around them being infectious. He’d shown up a few nights ago with a shit ton of pumpkins in every size imaginable that he’d bought from a local farm stand. They’d laughed and teased each other non-stop as their competitive streaks overtook them, and things got a little out of hand as they tried to outdo each other with outrageous carvin
gs. After she’d somehow managed to carve an impressive Yoda on a big orange pumpkin, he’d hid away in the mudroom so she couldn’t see what he was doing and carved a humongous penis on a tall, oval one that made the best use of the exaggerated size.
When he’d presented it to her with a flourish, complete with a battery operated candle inside that made the shadow of the naughty shape dance in huge relief on the wall, she’s shrieked with faux outrage then torn off his pants and subjected him to a mind-melting blow job that ended with her butt ass naked on the kitchen table and he with his jeans around his ankles as he fucked her with unrestrained abandon with the huge shadowed penis mocking them on the wall behind his head.
Tonight he was planning something much more subtle and a hell of a lot sexier. They’d moved into the loft when work on the master started so while she was in the shower, he’d gone to the house and rifled through her closet until he found a demure black dress with a square neckline that looked like it would show a bit of leg but not be too outrageous along with a pair of very high heels that made his dick hard. Back in the loft, he’d laid the outfit on the bed with the garter belt, some delicate silk stockings, a delicious black bra, and a pair of the crotch-less panties. He also had a black velvet jewelry case that he’d slipped into his suit jacket until the right moment presented itself.
When she came up the stairs from the bathroom, the first thing she saw was him standing at the foot of the mattress dressed in a black tailored suit with a dark grey dress shirt, a very expensive black tie, and a wolfish grin that didn’t exactly hide his motives. She flew into his arms with a delighted squeak declaring him, “the sexiest motherfucker to every walk the earth.”
Kissing her soundly he ripped off the towel she was wrapped in and smacked her ass with a hearty chuckle.
“Behave yourself female,” he demanded with a low growl.
“Yes, sir,” she giggled in response. Of course that didn’t stop her from running her fingers under his lapels and pouting like a naughty princess when she added, “Am I to be the good girl or the bad girl tonight?”
Fuck. She knew how to get to him, and if he didn’t take control immediately she’d have him forgetting all about the evening he’d planned. For good measure he grabbed a handful of her hair and yanked hard so he could bite her neck, subduing her the way a lion did when stalking his mate.
Adopting his very best lord and master voice he instructed her to, “Wear what I’ve laid out and be quick about it. We have dinner reservations, and I don’t want to be late. And put your hair up, woman. Your Sir wants easy access to your neck in case you need to be reminded who’s boss.” He stepped away after another hearty slap to her naked ass and quickly left her alone to dress.
Brynn spied the outfit and the sexy lingerie and nearly swooned with happiness. It was playtime, and she was more than up for whatever her demanding lover had in mind. She wasn’t sure about the panties though. It didn’t take much for her to get damp, especially not when he teased her senses and amused himself with her wanton response. He was the devil that way—and frankly, she loved it. She considered foregoing the crotch-less silk and replacing them with something that would cover her but decided to go with the flow and hope she didn’t embarrass herself.
Descending the stairs in record time, her wicked heels tapped on the wood with each step until she reached the bottom. She sashayed into the living area like a runway model, turning to give Jax a back view before rounding again and fixing him with a glorious smile.
“Am I presentable, sir?” she teased. His eyes flared, and she thought, bull’s-eye. Addressing him that way in her very best submissive voice never failed to earn her a delicious response.
His eyes moved, scorching her skin with sensual scrutiny that got her damp instantly. Dammit. They hadn’t even left and already she was in trouble.
Moving toward her he growled, “No. Something’s missing.”
What? No! She’d done just as he asked. Damn. What had she forgotten? Worried, she bit her lip and started to object when she saw him reaching into his suit jacket. The long rectangular box he pulled out effectively shut down all her mental processes.
Brynn’s mouth dropped on a gasp when Jax cracked open the lid and her eyes took in the beautiful blue sapphire and diamond necklace with matching earrings nestled in the velvet interior. Oh. My. God. Jewelry?
“Turn around,” she heard him murmur softly. He reached around her throat and hung the dazzling necklace that sat on her skin above the neckline of her dress. She couldn’t help the delicious shiver that raced through her senses when she felt his big hands fasten the delicate chain. Next, with a dexterity that astonished, he placed the teardrop earrings in each of her ears and ended with a soft kiss on her neck.
He pulled her around to face him again and smiled with approval. “They match your eyes.” She couldn’t speak. The gift was so unexpected she wouldn’t know what to say.
JAX WAS FEELING AWFULLY PLEASED with himself as they made their way into the restaurant and onto the enclosed terrace overlooking the river where they were seated in an out-of-the way corner dotted by potted palms and twinkling lights. It was classy, romantic, and exactly what he wanted.
Brynn had been completely silent from the moment he’d draped her in the outrageously expensive jewelry. The gift was fucking perfect and gave him one of those surreal king of the world sensations when he saw her wearing the magnificent jewels. He hadn’t told her that he intended to fuck her into oblivion wearing nothing but those sapphires—the admission might have spoiled the moment, but that didn’t stop him from imagining that very scenario in a non-stop loop in his mind.
Whenever she fingered the necklace around her throat or touched the delicate dangles hanging from her ears, she looked at him in such a way that he just wanted to freeze each moment in time.
At one point when she excused herself to the ladies’ room, he watched her walk away from him in those dick hardening shoes and marveled at the genteel way she looked, knowing full well that beneath the modest dress she was wearing the sort of silk and lace that was meant to enflame his senses. Only, he knew that before the night was out, those beautiful legs in their delicate silk stockings were going to be over his shoulders while he buried his cock in her balls deep.
Everything was going exactly as he’d planned with plenty of champagne loosening her up until by the time they made it to the playhouse for the campy sing-along, she was a willing and eager participant. In fact, he’d smiled and laughed so much Jax thought his face might crack.
Afterward, they strolled hand in hand along a secluded pathway by the river, the cool nighttime air making her huddle close to his warmth. Being ever the gentleman, he’d removed his jacket and draped it over her shoulders pulling her back against his chest as they watched the lights twinkle on the banks of the river.
“This is perfect, Jax,” she purred. The audacious little wiggle of her naughty ass that she added for emphasis against his groin made him laugh.
With her body shielded from view by the darkness, his body wrapped around her and the way his jacket hung, he nibbled on her neck and snaked his hand under the hem of her dress.
“You’re perfect, my love,” he whispered as his fingers made their way to the wicked panties with the convenient opening. “Spread your legs a little wider, baby,” he groaned in her ear. “Sir wants to play with your pussy a little.”
The way her breath hitched fired him up. So too did the quick repositioning of her feet on the walkway that gave him easy access to her luscious center. He found her wet and willing, not a surprise, and grunted his approval as he slowly inserted a finger into her sexy as fuck pussy. When it was lodged deep, he used his palm and the rest of his fingers to calmly cup her femininity as she began to tremble and pant. It was fucking beautiful and erotic, being out in the open with his finger buried inside her. Jax underestimated how turned on he’d be by the simple act as his cock surged with arousal, hardening unbearably.
“I like these
panties, baby.” His voice sounded harsh and the words a bit slurred. Not from the alcohol but from the lust swelling his flesh and invading his mind. “I want you to wear them whenever you have a dress on.”
Gasping, she wiggled her ass again and whimpered, “Um, okay.”
“That’s my good girl,” he chuckled as he nibbled some more on the soft skin of her neck. “Good girl now, hmmmm? Bad girl later.”
He smiled against her skin when her sweet wet pussy clenched. “Jax?” she whimpered.
“It’s okay baby. Nobody can see. Hold the jacket closed if you’re feeling shy.”
She nodded like someone in a trance, gathering the jacket together and breathing heavily. His finger wasn’t moving, he was just standing there with it buried inside her but Brynn’s sexy body was melting with desire. Jax pressed his hard cock against her ass and groaned.
He knew she loved it when he talked dirty. The filthier and dirtier the better which was fine by him. Telling her in explicit terms how he planned to use her delectable body was a pleasure in and of itself.
“I want to slide another finger inside you, love. Is that okay?” He bit back a laugh when she nodded so quickly her head almost took out his front teeth. Eager little wanton. He fucking loved her like this.
When he added the second finger her legs shook, and he heard her try to swallow a rumbling, “Unf.”
This time he slid both digits in and out in mind-blowing slow motion, whispering to her, “Mmmm. So wet and juicy.” She slumped against him but somehow stayed standing.
“Are you thinking about me fucking you, baby? My big, hard cock being swallowed whole by your luscious cunt? You want that, don’t you?”
She was panting and moaning softly as he worked her pussy and ground his hand against her clit. When she started to breathe heavily he bit her earlobe and growled, “No coming Brynn. This is just an appetizer.”
Wilde Forever (Wilde Women Book 1) Page 33