by Geneva Lee
Rose’s blue eyes sparkled. “I bet you were.” She nodded to the coffee maker. “Tell me there’s enough for us. Holden had me up all night. You know how it is.”
I bit my lip and nodded. I supposed I did know, but it felt wrong sharing something as special as last night with her, no matter how nice she was being.
“Rose,” a familiar voice yelled and my body tightened. A moment later, he walked into the kitchen, stopped in brief surprise, and grinned.
His mouth opened, but he stopped himself from saying whatever was about to come out. Instead, he greeted me with a simple, “Good morning, Kerrigan.”
“Holden?” I said, half greeting and half question.
“Didn’t know you’d be here.” He opened the fridge and snagged a takeout container. He tipped his head. “It’s from last night if you want some. We ordered enough for an army.”
Rose moved to his side and wrapped an arm around his waist, smiling up at him adoringly. When she looked back at me there was warning in her eyes. She was staking her claim on him. I wanted to tell her that she had nothing to worry about. I wasn’t the least bit interested in Holden.
“Wait,” she said, blinking a few times, “is she the one from the loo?”
“The one and only,” Holden said, digging a fork into the container. He spun it around, capturing a large bite of noodles.
“I guess we have kinda met,” Rose said. She popped onto her tiptoes and whispered something in Holden’s ear. He barked with laughter.
“I doubt it,” he said.
“You work at Hillgrove’s?” I guessed. I ignored the heat that rushed to my cheeks. They both knew I’d heard them fucking in that stall.
“I think you know the answer to that,” she said with a smirk.
“I was just using the toilet,” I said flatly. “I felt bad interrupting. Thankfully, it didn’t last too long.” I crossed my arms and shrugged.
Rose let out a whoop of approval. Holden, meanwhile, clutched his chest. “You wound me, but I hope you enjoyed yourself.”
“Holden,” Spencer said, coming out of the bedroom, “stop torturing my girlfriend.” He was wearing nothing more than a pair of jeans. Without a belt they hung at the waist, showcasing the hard angles of his body, particularly the deeply hewn v-shape that started at his hips and continued under his waistband. His hair was still damp from the shower, but his jawline was peppered with stubble.
“Apologies,” Holden replied, glancing between us. “Moving up the ranks quickly, are we?”
“Why wait?” Spencer asked. He walked over to me, paused, and planted a kiss on my forehead.
I resisted the urge to melt into a puddle on the spot. There was a tenderness to it that was unexpected but welcome. I tilted my head back and accepted his lips on mine.
“Come back to bed,” he whispered. Letting me go, he poured himself a cup of coffee and stalked out of the room. Holden followed after him, leaving me alone with Rose.
She watched me as I busied myself making my cup of coffee. There was no milk or cream in the fridge but I found some sugar in a cupboard. When I turned to look for a spoon, Rose opened a drawer, pulled one out, and passed it to me.
“Thank you,” I said, trying to keep things cordial. So what if I had heard her with Holden or she had been with Spencer in the past? All that mattered was this moment. I had no past with either of the Byrd brothers, and I had no future as well. Rose didn’t know that, and she didn’t need to know.
“Spencer isn’t the type to settle down,” she warned me.
“We’ll see.” I smiled at her over the rim of my coffee mug.
“You think if he puts a ring on your finger, he’ll belong to you?” she asks, shaking her head. “You’ll never be a part of their world, even if you marry him. Don’t believe otherwise, or they’ll just break your heart.”
I paused and considered her for a moment. Was this just an astute observation or personal experience speaking? It was hard to tell, and I knew, without a doubt, I couldn’t trust her to be truthful with me.
“I know what’s going on,” she continued in a low voice. “That he’s going to marry you for money. That your parents arranged it, but there’s something you should know. Holden told me—”
“Rose,” Holden’s voice cut her off sharply. He rounded the fridge, his face a stony mask. It was impossible to know if he’d heard what she was about to say. “We should let the lovebirds have their nest for the day.” He looped an arm around her shoulders, towering a good foot over the petite blonde, and guided her toward the hall.
But his eyes never left mine.
Chapter Twenty-One
Spencer had gathered my dress and shoes and laid them out over the freshly made bed. My bag was sitting next to it. He looked up at me as I entered with my cup of coffee and smiled. “I hope you don’t mind, I added my number to your phone.”
“It feels like we did this a bit out of order, didn’t we?” I dug my mobile out of my purse. Scrolling down, I found his entry. “Smile.”
I snapped a picture of Spencer, standing there shirtless, caught completely off-guard.
“Don’t use that.”
“Too late,” I said as I added to his profile. Then I dashed off a text. “Now you have mine.”
“Like a proper boyfriend and girlfriend. Let’s see. What else are we supposed to do? Do you want to get some breakfast?” He glanced back at the dress. “I probably have something you could wear in the closet.”
I couldn’t imagine going for breakfast in the wrinkled dress I’d worn to dinner last night. If that wasn’t enough to scream walk of shame, my bare face and tangled hair would do it.
“I think maybe I should head back to my place,” I said. “I don’t want my father to worry about me.”
Spencer shrugged dismissively. Clearly, he wasn’t worried about what Tod Belmond thought. “I should think he’d be happy. It’s a step in the direction he wants us to take.”
“I suppose. Although, things are moving more quickly than I expected,” I confessed, hoping that he would understand. I didn’t regret going to bed with Spencer, but even I was surprised that after twenty-three years of waiting to sleep with someone, I’d slept with him after knowing him only a few days. Still, part of me felt it was only right. I’d known it somehow. I’d been sure. But that tiny voice in the back of my mind kept whispering that everything between Spencer and I was a lie. How could I have gone to bed with a man who didn’t know who I really was? I had slipped into Kerrigan’s life too easily. I needed to clear my head, and there was no way I could do that around Spencer. He had a way of muddying up my brain.
“Well, it’s not as if it will take a year to get to know each other. I simply wanted more time before the press descended upon us and my mother started in on invitations and all that nonsense,” he explained, opening a drawer. He found a pair of jeans and held them out to me. “They’ll be loose on you.”
“Thanks,” I said as I took them. I pulled the pants on over my bare legs, not bothering to figure out where yesterday’s knickers had landed. “At least we have time before they make us get married.”
“The longer we give them, the bigger the spectacle will be. I think when we are ready, we just elope,” he said as though he’d given it some thought.
I swallowed back a cry of surprise at this revelation. Part of my arrangement with Tod Belmond was that the wedding would take a long time to plan — long enough for him to convince Kerrigan to come back and take her rightful place at the altar. That timeline was going to have to be significantly shortened if Spencer decided he wanted to run off to get married. I felt torn. I knew I was going to have to tell Tod about this development, so he would have time to work on tracking Kerrigan down before it was too late. For some reason, I couldn’t imagine taking wedding vows for her. Not only because it wasn’t my place to do so, but because I feared what would happen to my own heart in the process. I liked Spencer. Maybe I liked him too much. I was certainly attracted to him. I had n
ever considered what would happen if we became emotionally attached to one another. I thought of this relationship as more of a business transaction, like the one I’d made with Kerrigan’s father. But things were getting much more complicated than that—much more quickly than I could process.
“I’d always imagined a large wedding.” In truth, I’d never thought about getting married. It’d never really crossed my mind. I didn’t know why. Weren’t girls supposed to think about their wedding days? I hadn’t, but the lie was easily delivered and even more easily swallowed.
“We’ll do whatever you want, of course.” He grabbed the shirt I wore and pulled me to him. “Are you certain you need to go home?”
“Don’t you have work or something?” I didn’t actually know what Spencer did on a daily basis, which was yet another reason things were moving too fast. It wasn’t as if preparing to be Prime Minister in ten or fifteen years was a full-time, paid occupation. Still, no one had mentioned him doing anything else but that.
Spencer checked his watch and grimaced. “I really should be getting into the office. My grandfather tends to be a bastard on Mondays. Secretly, I think he hates taking weekends off. If the man could spend every moment working, he would.”
“If you don’t have time to drop me off, I’m sure I can call a car,” I offered. Each second I spent with him, my brain felt more muddled, as if I had taken a very strong drug. The sooner I could get some space to clear my head, the better.
“Nonsense. I’m not sending you away in a car after last night.” He wrapped his arms around my waist and studied me for a moment with a worried expression, mistaking my confusion for pain. “Holden distracted me from checking on you. Are you okay? Is everything all right down there?”
Despite the anxiety clouding my brain, I giggled. “I think I’ll live.”
“That’s exactly what a man wants to hear after the first time he sleeps with a woman.”
“Sorry. I’m new at this, remember?” I teased him.
“Actually, that reminds me.” He angled his face so that his mouth covered mine, and I forgot about anything but him at that moment. “I hope you enjoyed yourself as much as I did. I promise it only gets better.”
“Promise, huh?” I whispered. “You’re talking a big game.”
“I’m more than willing to back it up right now,” he said, huskily, and his mouth crushed against mine again. I was lost to him, completely drowning in his taste. I wanted more of it—more of him. It took effort to push him away.
“Office, remember?” I said, panting heavily as I pulled away from his arms.
“Right.” He scratched his head as he stepped away, putting some necessary space between us. “I have a feeling I’m going to be late to the office a little more often in the future.”
I hated the thrill that raced through me as much as I loved to hear him say it.
Chapter Twenty-Two
As soon as I reached Willoughby Place, I raced to Kerrigan’s bedroom. I hadn’t bothered with the shoes I’d worn the night before, going barefoot in Spencer’s car during the ride. I wanted to make a quiet entrance. I wasn’t sure that was even possible, given that I had to be let in through the security gate. Still, I didn’t relish the idea of running into anyone while I was holding my Louboutins and last night’s dress in my arms. As soon as I was inside my private sanctuary, I locked the door and breathed a sigh of relief. I tossed the dress and shoes on the couch, making a note to ask Giles what I should do with things that needed to go out for cleaning. Then I looked down at myself. I was still wearing Spencer’s shirt and jeans. Part of me wanted to stay in them all day, but I knew that wasn’t a good idea. I stripped his clothes off as I walked into the closet and dug out more lacy undergarments followed by a pair of Kerrigan’s jeans and a tank top. Since I’d been here, I spent every waking moment dressed like I just walked off the runway. Today, I needed to feel more like my old self. Changing was the first step to that. I had thought of the second step as Spencer drove me home.
Crawling into Kerrigan’s oversized bed, I dialed a familiar number on my mobile. It was early enough in the day that the pub wouldn’t be open. Eliza’s sleepy voice greeted me.
“I’m only answering because I was worried you were dead,” she told me groggily. “But unless you are dead, don’t call me so early in the future.”
I didn’t bother telling her that didn’t make much sense. I’d learned after months of living with my roommate that it took her a while to process things in the morning. Usually, there were only three things that could be counted on to wake her with a jolt: a cigarette, coffee, or gossip. I only had one at my disposal.
“I lost my virginity,” I confessed.
That did the trick.
“What?” she exploded. “You’ve been there like ten minutes. He must be really hot.”
“It’s not like that,” I said.
“Then tell me what it’s like,” she said. In the background, I heard the familiar flick of a lighter and then a long drag as she lit her first cigarette of the morning.
“He’s not what I expected.” I didn’t know how to explain it. Not without sounding crazy. That was the trouble with this whole situation. It was inherently mental.
“How was the sex?” Trust Eliza to get straight to the point.
“Phenomenal,” I admitted softly. “Better than I imagined.”
She giggled. “I had a feeling it wasn’t going to be as bad as you thought it would be.”
“He made sure that I enjoyed it,” I said, feeling a bit guilty for sharing the intimate details. There was no one else I could talk to about this openly. Only a few people knew the truth. I wasn’t about to talk to Tod Belmond about the things I was doing while bearing his daughter’s name. There was no way Giles and I were going to discuss my sex life. That only left Eliza. But Eliza had something else I needed. She was a bridge to my old life. She was a reminder of who I really was. After a night with Spencer, I needed that connection.
“At least you’re enjoying yourself,” she muttered. “The pub is full of wankers coming to the country on summer vacation. I wish I were you.”
I hesitated long enough that Eliza finally said, “Kate?”
“I’m here.” It was the slap in the face I needed. Hearing my name was like a bucket of cold water poured over my head. I’d been living a dream. I’d been playing at a fairytale. It was time for a dose of cold, hard reality. “I think I like him too much.”
“Oh.” I heard another long drag. “Look, think of it as a perk. You don’t have to go to bed with some guy you hate. You’re not the one being forced to marry him. It’s not your life that’s on the line.”
“I think that’s the problem,” I admitted with a sigh, sinking into the pillows on my bed. Kerrigan’s bed, I silently corrected myself. “I can’t help but feel like I’m making choices for her, and that’s not my place.”
“Think of it like you’re an actress,” Eliza said brightly. “You’re playing a character. Someday she’ll come back and take over the role.”
“That’s what I was afraid you would say. Doesn’t that mean I should think about her future?”
“Why? She’s not. And it’s not like she can’t come back and refuse to marry him or divorce him or whatever,” Eliza said casually, and I envied her easy dismissal of the ethical concerns at stake. “You do what’s best for you. And ten million pounds is best for you. If you get to enjoy some hot sex at the same time, why feel guilty about that? Just focus on the moment and enjoy yourself.”
“Eliza,” I said in a soft voice, “what if I fall in love with him?”
She took the longest drag off her cigarette I’d ever heard. “Don’t.”
“I wish it were that simple,” I said flatly.
“You barely know him, Kate. You can’t be in love with him.”
“I said what if I fall in love with him,” I pointed out.
“And I told you not to do it,” she said, repeating her advice. “Look, enjoy the se
x, but keep it casual. Don’t open up to him. Don’t share who you really are with him. Don’t let him open up to you. Keep it shallow. I’m talking wading pool deep.”
“I’ll try,” I said, but I wasn’t convinced I could.
“Okay, tell me the rest,” she said. “Is the house huge?”
I filled her in on the details of Willoughby Place and then described Sparrow Court. When I reached the description of Spencer’s flat, she stopped me.
“Wait! He has a brother?” she asked after I mentioned my run-in with Holden and his lady friend.
“A twin brother,” I said.
“You didn’t mention that until now?” she shrieked. “Is he available? Because Spencer is really hot. Oh my God, are they identical? Or is Spencer the hot one and then Holden is like the Picasso version of him?”
Despite the worry that had weighed me down all morning, I burst out in laughter. “The Picasso version?”
“Yeah,” she said. “Like his face is a little wrong. He looks like Spencer but his eyes are different colors or his ears are lopsided?”
“They’re completely identical, as far as I know,” I said, still laughing.
“There you go. Problem solved.”
“What do you mean?” I didn’t see how having two men as handsome as Spencer and Holden in my life was going to make anything any easier.
“Use the brother,” she told me. “Mess around with him.”
“I’m not sure Spencer would like that,” I said, my amusement fading.
“Not judging by what that Rose chic said,” Eliza reminded me. “You want to keep things casual with Spencer? Divide your attention between the two of them. I’m sure it will just be a huge burden to be sleeping with two handsome aristocrats.”
“You’re crazy,” I told her.
“I’m right,” she corrected me. “Oh shit, babe, I have to go. I promised Ron I would get to the pub early. Don’t wait so long to call me next time. I want to know all the dirty details.”