by Blake Crouch
BLAKE CROUCH, JACK KILBORN & JA KONRATH
For everyone who thinks the bad guys are so much more fun to read than the good guys, we’ve written a book just for you, and now the definitive volume containing every major villain from the Crouch/Kilborn/Konrath Universe is here. First, there was Serial, the collaborative smash-hit that has been downloaded 500,000 times and optioned for film. Then came Serial Uncut, which expanded on that story. Then Killers, the sequel to Serial. Then Birds of Prey and Killers Uncut, which introduced every major villain the writers had ever created into one cohesive novel. And now, all that and more has been brought together for the definitive, omnibus monster, which at 120,000 words, is the length of two full novels…
Serial Killers Uncut
This epic work, over two years in the making, contains Serial Uncut, Killers Uncut, Birds of Prey, Crouch’s Break You, an interview with the authors, and more. If you haven’t read anything by Crouch, Kilborn, and Konrath, Serial Killers Uncut is the perfect introduction to the dark side of their universe. And if you enjoy a good bad guy (or bad girl), you’re going to love this. Because there are TWENTY-ONE of them featured in this book: Lucy and Donaldson from Serial, Orson and Luther from Desert Places, Locked Doors, and Break You, Mr. K from Shaken, Alex and Charles Kork from Whiskey Sour and Rusty Nail, Isaiah from Abandon, Javier from Snowbound, and many, many more.
Introduction
Authors’ Note
Cast of Characters
Part 1 — A Watch of Nightingales
Part 2 — A Day at the Beach
Part 3 — A Pitying of Turtle Doves
Part 4 — The One That Stayed
Part 5 — A Night at the Dinner Table
Part 6 — Cuckoo
Part 7 — A Wake of Buzzards
Part 8 — A Brood of Hens
Part 9 — A Glaring of Owls
Part 10 — A Murder of Crows
Part 11 — Bad Girl
Part 12 — The One That Got Away
Part 13 — An Unkindness of Ravens
Part 14 — The One That Didn’t
Part 15 — Break You
Part 16 — Truck Stop
Part 17 — Serial
Part 18 — Killers
Part 19 — A Schizophrenia of Hawks
Part 20 — Lovebirds
Storyline Endnotes
Bonus Features
Afterword
Six Decades of Mayhem: The Crouch/Kilborn/Konrath Universe
Excerpt: AFRAID by Jack Kilborn
Excerpt: ENDURANCE by Jack Kilborn
Excerpt: TRAPPED by Jack Kilborn
Excerpt: SHAKEN by JA Konrath
Excerpt: DRACULAS by Blake Crouch, JA Konrath, Jeff Strand, and F. Paul Wilson
Excerpt: DESERT PLACES by Blake Crouch
Excerpt: LOCKED DOORS by Blake Crouch
Excerpt: FAMOUS by Blake Crouch
Excerpt: SNOWBOUND by Blake Crouch
Excerpt: ABANDON by Blake Crouch
Excerpt: RUN by Blake Crouch
About Blake Crouch
About JA Konrath and Jack Kilborn
Other Works by JA Konrath and Jack Kilborn
Other Works by Blake Crouch
Coming Soon
Copyright
The original version of SERIAL, still available as a free ebook, was a 7500-word horror short story written as an experiment. A psychotic driver named Donaldson picks up a psychotic hitchhiker named Lucy, and horror ensues. In two years, SERIAL has been downloaded over 500,000 times, and has received over a hundred scathingly negative reviews, with many people claiming it was the most depraved, awful thing they’ve ever read.
So naturally, we knew we were on to something.
SERIAL UNCUT was over 36,000 words, much of it brand new. Along with the insertion of additional material too extreme for the original version, it also had a vastly expanded beginning and ending, including an extended section that originally appeared in the novellas BAD GIRL and TRUCK STOP.
But even with this expanded version, there were still loose ends to tie up, and more story left to tell.
Which brought us to KILLERS, the sequel to Donaldson’s and Lucy’s escapades in the desert southwest.
And then KILLERS UNCUT, which neatly brought together characters from Crouch’s, Kilborn’s, and Konrath’s works, SERIAL UNCUT, DESERT PLACES, LOCKED DOORS, BREAK YOU, ENDURANCE, TRAPPED, SHOT OF TEQUILA, WHISKEY SOUR, BLOODY MARY, FUZZY NAVEL, CHERRY BOMB, SHAKEN, STIRRED, SNOWBOUND, ABANDON, DRACULAS, and RUN.
What you have here is the culmination of our experiment to see if we could bring all of the villains from our books into a single, cohesive work. This is the definitive volume, what we’ve been working toward for the last two years.
At 120,000 words, SERIAL KILLERS UNCUT is a monster of a novel, the marriage of SERIAL UNCUT, KILLERS UNCUT, BIRDS OF PREY, and more.
You probably know the drill by now, but if not, it bears repeating…
If you can handle horrific thrills, proceed at your own risk.
But if you suffer from anxiety attacks, nervous disorders, insomnia, nightmares or night terrors, heart palpitations, stomach problems, or are of an overly sensitive nature, you should read something else instead.
The authors are in no way responsible for any lost sleep, missed work, failed relationships, or difficulty in coping with life after you have read SERIAL KILLERS UNCUT. They will not pay for any therapy you may require as a result of reading SERIAL KILLERS UNCUT. They will not cradle you in their arms, rock you back and forth, and speak in soothing tones while you unsuccessfully try to forget SERIAL KILLERS UNCUT.
You have been warned…
Love,
Blake Crouch, Jack Kilborn, and JA Konrath
In Serial Killers Uncut, the reader will come across occasional hyperlinks when a character first appears, or when a passage in the story refers to a novel in the Crouch/Kilborn/Konrath Universe. Clicking on this underscored text will take the reader to a brief description of the character or a brief description of the referenced novel.
Our goal is to provide the reader as complete a picture as possible of the 38 stories, novellas, and novels that comprise our interconnected body of work.
We hope this state-of-the-art feature enhances your enjoyment of Serial Killers Uncut, and crystallizes your understanding of the Crouch/Kilborn/Konrath Universe, 1.75 million words and growing…
For the previous, intervening, and continuing adventures of all major characters featured in Serial Killers Uncut, the following list sets forth a brief description of them, and the works outside of SKU in which they appear. For your convenience, we have hyperlinked every major character the first time they appear in SKU. Clicking on their name will bring you back to their listing on this page, which provides a brief bio and refresher on them. Clicking on the “Go to the character’s first appearance” link will return you to where you were in SKU.
BLAKE CROUCH CHARACTERS
GOOD GUYS
ANDREW Z. THOMAS also appears in Desert Places and Locked Doors. He is a semi-famous horror writer who is pulled into a nightmare world more terrifying than the books he writes. Go to character’s first appearance.
VIOLET KING is a young homicide detective who crosses paths with Andrew Thomas in Locked Doors. She also appears in Stirred. Go to character’s first appearance.
BAD GUYS
ORSON THOMAS appears in Desert Places and Locked Doors. He is the psychopathic twin brother of Andrew Z. Thomas. Go to character’s first a
ppearance.
LUTHER KITE appears in Desert Places, Locked Doors, Shaken, and Stirred. He is a friend of Orson Thomas and son of Maxine and Rufus Kite. Go to character’s first appearance.
SWEET-SWEET (RUFUS KITE) appears in Locked Doors. He is Luther Kite’s father. Go to character’s first appearance.
BEAUTIFUL (MAXINE KITE) appears in Locked Doors. She is Luther Kite’s mother. Go to character’s first appearance.
LUCY is the young, beautiful, and monstrous, hitchhiking nemesis of Donaldson. Go to character’s first appearance.
JAVIER ESTRADA is a sociopathic member of the Alphas, an elite group of ex-Mexican paramilitary soldiers who protect the drug cartels. A human trafficker, he appears in Snowbound. Go to character’s first appearance.
ISAIAH BROWN is a Force Recon marine who appears in Abandon. Go to character’s first appearance.
KIERNAN appears in the novel, Run, as a National Guard Unit leader who has lost his mind with countless others. Go to character’s first appearance.
KURT LANZ (that’s Doctor Lanz to you) is an asshole ER doc who also appears in Draculas. Go to character’s first appearance.
LANCELOT BLUE DUNKQUIST is a world-class loser except for his striking resemblance to the movie star, James Jansen. He appears in Famous. Go to character’s first appearance.
JA KONRATH CHARACTERS
GOOD GUYS
JACQUELINE “JACK” DANIELS is a Chicago cop who appears in Shot of Tequila, Whiskey Sour, Bloody Mary, Rusty Nail, Dirty Martini, Fuzzy Navel, Cherry Bomb, Shaken, and Stirred. Go to character’s first appearance.
TEQUILA is a mob enforcer who appears in Shot of Tequila. Go to character’s first appearance.
CLAYTON THEEL appears in Draculas as a small-town deputy with an unhealthy love for exotic firearms. Go to character’s first appearance.
BAD GUYS
CHARLES KORK is a psychopath who also appears in Whiskey Sour. He is Alex Kork’s brother. Go to character’s first appearance.
ALEX KORK is Jack Daniels’s nemesis, and she appears in Rusty Nail, Fuzzy Navel, and Cherry Bomb. She is Charles Kork’s sister. Go to character’s first appearance.
BARRY FULLER is a very angry cop who appears in Bloody Mary. Go to character’s first appearance.
MR. K is a hitman who appears in Shaken. Go to character’s first appearance.
SWANSON, MUNCHEL, & PESSOLANO are snipers who appear in Fuzzy Navel. Go to characters’ first appearance.
JACK KILBORN CHARACTERS
BAD GUYS
DONALDSON is pure psycho, and Lucy’s hitchhiker-murdering nemesis. Go to character’s first appearance.
SHERIFF DWIGHT ROOSEVELT is one of the many maniacs in Endurance. Go to character’s first appearance.
TAYLOR is the lead psychopath in Afraid and Trapped. Go to character’s first appearance.
A Watch of Nightingales
Winston-Salem, North Carolina, 1969
“Get in here, boys!” Jeanette shouted. “It’s happening, and you’re missing it! Andrew! Orson! Come on!”
The eight-year-old twins raced each other down the hall and into the living room, where they skidded to a stop on the green shag carpet.
“You have to see this,” their mother said, pointing at the television screen.
“What’s wrong with Dad?” Orson asked.
Andy looked over at their father who sat on the edge of an ottoman, leaning toward the television with his forearms on his knees and tears running down his face.
“Nothing, son,” he said, dabbing at his eyes with a handkerchief. “Just never thought I’d be alive to see something like this.”
“Can we go outside?” Andy said.
“It’s too late,” Jeannette said. “Ya’ll need to get ready for bed.”
“Aw, come on, Mom. Just for ten minutes,” Orson begged.
“Five minutes,” their mother said. “And don’t make me come out there looking for you.”
The boys rushed out the front door into the night, the screen door banging shut after them.
It was July and warm, lightning bugs floating everywhere like airborne embers, sparking and fading, sparking and fading.
“Look at me!” Andy screamed, running out into the long, cool grass in the front yard. “I’m floating!”
When the boy stopped, he glanced back toward the driveway, saw his brother lying on his back, staring up at the sky.
Andy moved back toward him in exaggerated hops, pretending to bounce along through reduced gravity.
He lay down on the warm concrete beside his brother, their shoulders barely touching, and stared up into the sky.
The gibbous moon shone with a subdued brilliance through the humid southern night.
“I can see them up there,” Andy said.
Orson glanced at him, brow furrowed. “Really?”
Andy smiled. “Of course not, I’m just kidding.”
“I knew that.”
They were quiet for a bit, and then Orson said, “I think there’s something wrong with me.”
“I know, my stomach always hurts after Mom’s meatloaf, too.”
“No, it’s not that.”
“What?”
“You ever feel different?” Orson said.
“Different? Like how?”
“Like from other people, stupid.”
“I don’t know. I don’t guess so.”
“Yeah, that’s because you’re normal.”
“So are you.”
“No, I’m not.”
“Yes, you are, you’re my brother.”
“That doesn’t make me normal, Andy.”
“I know you and there’s nothing wrong—”
“But you only know my outside. You don’t know what’s inside. The thoughts I have.”
“What thoughts?”
“Just thoughts.”
“Normal ones?”
“I don’t think so.”
“Like what?” Andy asked.
“I don’t want to tell. They’re mine.”
“Tell me.”
Orson looked over at Andy. Now there were tears in his eyes. Glassy in the moonlight.
“You’ll tell Mom and Dad.”
“No, I won’t.”
“You promise?”
“I promise.”
Orson looked back into the sky.
“Everyone’s real excited about what’s happening.”
“I know.”
“But you know what I’m thinking?”
“How could I?”
Orson hesitated. Then: “No, I don’t want to say.”
“Orson.” Andy reached over and took hold of his brother’s hand. “You can trust me. Always.”
Orson blinked twice, and then said, “I wish Neil Armstrong would die up there.”
“Why?”
Orson shrugged. “I don’t know. But I wish his friend would leave him on the moon or the Eagle would blow up or a space monster that no one had ever heard of before would crawl out of a hole and eat him. Everyone would be sad, and I’d be….so happy.”
Andy stared at his brother, an airy fluttering in his stomach now, and it wasn’t his mother’s meatloaf.
“You can let go of my hand if you want,” Orson said, and that look on his face would never leave Andy—fear and defiance and rage and a deep, deep sadness.
The screen door banged open.
Their mother’s voice echoing through the woods across the street, calling for them to come inside and get ready for bed.
Andy squeezed his brother’s hand tighter.
A Day at the Beach
North Carolina Outer Banks, 1977
They were a happy, black-eyed family, and the day was perfect.
Late August.
The heat broken by the breeze coming off the ocean.
A few stray clouds way out over the Atlantic, but otherwise, the sky pitch-blue and already beginning to deepen toward evening.