by Unknown
“Alright,” I whispered.
It had been an emotionally exhausting day and every faerie I'd met had added to that exhaustion. The dark fey would be even worse for me because I had helped to create them. In a way, I was a mother to them and I had always felt responsible for them. Seeing them would not be easy on either of us. Arach was right, I needed to take a breather and gather my strength. I'd take his word that the dark fey were alright and leave them be for now.
“Let's go home,” I launched myself back into the darkening sky.
Chapter Fourteen
We landed near the back entrance of Castle Aithinne but before we could go in, I spied the pixie village. Carved from the mountainside in a similar fashion to Castle Aithinne, the village was a tiered complex of living quarters. Our fire pixies had made this home for themselves and then generously offered to share it with the ex-earth pixies. I say ex because they were once earth fey but they had defected over to Fire and had declared their loyalty to us, so now they were fire pixies, though not by blood or magic.
“Vervain, no,” Arach called out as I headed over.
“Where are they?” I had changed back to human and didn't even care that I was walking around my kingdom naked, my concern for my pixies was suddenly that overpowering.
“Vervain,” Arach came up behind me and laid a hand on my shoulder.
“Lissa?” I called. “Artair. Cora,” I stopped short when I saw the shriveled stem of a flower which had been planted in the little courtyard at the base of the pixie village. “Blossom?” I knelt beside it and lightly touched the stem with a fingertip. The edge broke off and fell to the earth, dry and dead.
“She faded away,” Arach whispered as he knelt beside me.
“But the magic of Faerie should have sustained her,” I felt a tear slide down my cheek.
“She was neglected, I'm afraid,” Arach sighed. “The pixies are gone, Vervain. They fought valiantly for us but they were the easiest targets and the first to die.”
“All of them?” I turned to look at Arach as another tear fell.
“All of them,” he nodded sadly. “Without them to look after her, your Blossom was forgotten. Even plants need attention, especially magical ones. I think she must have let herself die.”
“Blossom,” I looked down and the ground blurred for a moment before I blinked. “I'm so sorry.” My tears hit the dry earth around the withered stalk of the flower who had once saved my life. I watched them bleed into the parched soil and I suddenly couldn't hold it together anymore.
I fell onto my hands above the husk of that valiant dead flower and cried. I cried violently, my shoulders shaking as I hung my head and watered the earth with my tears. It was an ugly sobbing, messy and loud, nothing beautiful about it. I cried not just for Blossom but for all of my loved ones who I'd let down, who I'd let die. Arach's hand slid over my shoulder and his chest leaned into me but still I went on until there were no tears left, till I was as dry inside as the crisp remains beneath me.
I sniffed and took a shaky breath, rubbing at my face as I sat back. My hair was stuck to my wet cheeks and I pushed it back wearily. I was exhausted, the kind of exhaustion which only comes from emotional upheaval. Being goddess and fey afforded me with enough strength and stamina that I rarely ever felt tired but this was a bone deep debilitation that had nothing to do with physical exertion. I leaned into Arach and was about to ask him to take me to our bed, when I felt him tense.
“Vervain, look,” he said in an awe filled voice.
I opened my eyes, rubbing away the last traces of my tears, and focused on the ground before me. Where Blossom's withered stem had been was now a green shoot and as I watched, that shoot grew. It stretched upwards, waxy leaves unfurling to reveal a baby bud at the tip. That bud ballooned and opened; first the slim outer leaves, pale and bright as new peas, curled outward like ribbon on a present. They revealed a sunshine center of velvety petals pressed tight together. Then those petals swelled and fluttered out gracefully, like the skirts of a ballerina. Their color deepened to canary yellow as the delicate stamens in the heart of the flower shivered to life.
“Blossom,” I whispered and the flower gave a happy shake before it bobbed forward. “You're back,” I stroked a petal gingerly. “Just like me.”
Blossom's roots pulled slickly from the ground and snaked across the small distance separating us. I held out my hand and those bone white roots trailed around my wrist and pulled her up into my hand. I lifted her to my chest and gently cradled her there as I stood.
“You have never stopped surprising me,” Arach smiled gently. “Come now, let's get you both inside.”
I nodded and bent down to kiss Blossom lightly on her soft petals. I know she's only a flower but I loved her and watching her rebirth was like watching hope be born anew. All was not lost, death could be conquered, and I would be the one who conquered it.
Just as soon as I got some sleep.
Chapter Fifteen
I had a restless night's sleep and woke early in the purple pre-dawn light, to stand at our now shutter-less window and stare out at Faerie. Dexter had quietly got up with me and stood beside me at the window, leaning against me and sharing his warmth. In that in-between time that belonged as much to the darkness as it did the light, Faerie looked like her old self again. I couldn't see all the wounds and burns marring her landscape and I could pretend that everything was as it should be.
Next to the window, in her tall porcelain pot, Blossom was just beginning to stir, feeling the call of the light. Her leaves shivered and her petals fluttered as if sensing that morning and all its nourishment was close. I smiled and stroked her stem gently, happy that she was safe and near. She only added to the illusion that all was well, that I was back in my own time and the previous day had just been a nightmare.
Turning back to the the bed, all illusion slipped away and I was face to face with reality. Arach had slept well, probably better than he had in a very long time, and was in fact, still sleeping. Sleep usually softened his sharp features, made him appear peaceful and romantic even. While he dreamt, he was truly a faerie king; a beautiful, otherworldly lover who could tempt any woman into leaving all she held dear to run away and live forever with him in his fiery kingdom.
He didn't have that peace anymore. My return had healed him, his mind especially, but it hadn't removed the scars. All hint of softness had vanished and even there, in his sleep, he looked dangerous. I sat on the edge of the bed and stared at the crimson scales on his temples, bright like drops of blood. There were normally just a few near the corners of his eyes which would spread over his face and down the sides of his chest when he was in extreme emotional states. Now the scales constantly framed his face, trailing along the side of his forehead and down the angle of his jaw, as if he knew nothing but extreme emotions.
His lips looked thinner and there were shadows beneath his eyes. When he woke, there would be shadows within them as well. I'd looked into those shadows as he held me the night before and vowed to remove them so they would never darken his eyes again. He had smiled and kissed me, then said that shadows had their place. I tried to ask him what he'd meant by that but he kissed me again and told me to sleep, that perhaps in the morning, the shadows would be gone. Looking at him in the dawn's light, I knew they were still there. Even with his eyes shut, I knew.
I crawled back into our luxurious bed, with its metal frame built to withstand our fiery lovemaking, and snuggled into his side, hoping I was wrong. There was no canopy over the bed, allowing me a view of the soaring ceiling, aglow with sputtering candlelight. It was a hollow spire of the mountain with little niches cut out of its side to hold the candles which Arach had lit the night before. It should have felt romantic, to lie beside him and look up at those soft flames, but instead it felt like a warning. The candles had burned to stubs and several had died completely while others were guttering their last hot breaths. They seemed to say that time was running out, lives were running out, whi
le I laid there with my husband like I had indeed given up all I held dear, to live forever with him in Faerie.
“You're awake early,” Arach's sleep roughened voice seemed to mimic Dexter's purr, which came from behind me, where Dex was nestled into my back.
“Nerves I guess,” I whispered.
“Samara will be pretty nervous too, after we made her wait an entire day,” Arach cleared his throat, sighed, and sat up. “We should probably get up and send for her.”
“And Isleen,” I nodded.
“We can meet in my office,” he agreed but looked back down at me. “Or we could steal just a little more time for ourselves.”
“Oh, how scandalous,” I grinned, “I like it.”
“Dexter,” Arach growled and pointed to the smaller version of our bed, placed a little ways down from our own. “Bed.” Dexter lifted his head and whined. “Get into your bed or it's the bathroom again.” Dex got up in a huff and went to his own bed, casting Arach and me surly glances over his shoulder. Arach laughed and gave me a wicked grin, “Now we can proceed.”
“Uh oh,” I giggled, “you have that look in your eyes.”
“What look?” He lifted a brow.
“The one that says we're going to need a new mattress when we're done,” I grinned.
“Should I hold back?” He asked as he slid above me.
“I think I can take the heat,” I pulled his head down to mine.
Chapter Sixteen
Arach and I had indeed burned our mattress to cinders with some of the most passionate lovemaking we'd ever had. Turns out back-from-the-dead sex is better even than make-up sex. We'd ended up on the floor, amidst the cinders and the skeletal remains of the bed's metal frame. Suffice it to say, we needed a shower before we got dressed.
After the shower had been had, as well as the shower sex (I swear, Arach was even more insatiable than he'd been when we were trying to get pregnant), we called for Isleen and let her know we'd be meeting with her and Samara in Arach's office. She met us there with our daughter and a tray of breakfast for us.
“What's going to happen to all of you, if I do fix this?” I asked before I took a bite of toast slathered with seaweed jam. I was sitting behind Arach's desk with him, while Samara and Isleen sat across from us.
“We'll cease to exist,” Samara said simply.
“What?!” I nearly screeched, upsetting Dexter, who was curled around my feet.
“This version of ourselves will be gone,” Arach clarified and cast a reproving look at our daughter. Oh, there were issues between those two, it was obvious. “As the future changes, so will we. Our memories will be replaced with new ones and our lives will be renewed.”
“Oh, that sounds a lot better,” I sighed.
“That's for those of us who existed before the moment I went back for you,” Samara clarified. “Rian will be born because there he is,” she waved a hand at my belly. “But I may not be and the same goes for the rest of your children.”
“Whatchu talking 'bout, Willis?” I frowned.
“Changing the past is tricky,” Samara sighed. “You could alter the moment you conceive me and so end up conceiving someone else. Or not conceiving at all.”
“And yet you still came back for me,” I whispered. “You came back, knowing that if I changed things, you might cease to exist?”
“I don't want to live in this hell anyway,” she said casually but I could see her fear. My dragon could smell it like acid in the air.
“Samara,” I reached over to her and took her hand. “We're going to figure out when you were conceived and I'm going to make sure you're born. You, not another child.”
“It's okay, Mother,” she smiled sadly. “I've come to terms with this. If I have to be erased with this horrible future, so be it.”
“Samara,” Arach gaped at her. “When did you become a Queen? How did I not see it?”
“You were consumed by Mother's death,” she sighed. “Someone had to take care of the kingdom.”
“I'm so sorry,” Arach whispered. “I lost them and turned my back on you. I neglected my daughter.”
“It's fine, Father,” Samara swallowed hard. “I've always known I came second to Rian.”
“What?” Arach frowned. “Why would you say that?”
“It's always been about Rian,” she shrugged. “What Rian wanted or needed. I was the second child but I had to become the responsible one because Rian refused to. You raised him to believe he was the most important, his needs came first.”
“I didn't mean to,” Arach sighed. “I love you just as much as I love your brother.” Samara just stared at him. “I do, Samara. Rian may have been my only son but you are my only daughter. I see Vervain in you and I hear her in your voice. That was why I couldn't face you when she died. It was too much for me to bear.”
“I needed you,” she whispered. “We all did and you abandoned us.”
“I'm so sorry,” he whispered back.
“You're a damn idiot,” I whacked him and everyone jerked in shock. “I not only gave you an heir, I gave you two and then you treat one of them like this? You're lucky I didn't rise from the dead like a vengeful zombie and eat your dumb brains! At least then someone would have got some use out of them.”
“I...” Arach gaped at me.
“You're a king but more importantly, you're a father,” I growled at him. “How dare you treat our daughter like that?”
“I was in mourning!” He shouted.
“And so was she!” I shouted back. “Your child! The one you wanted so badly. The one you told me would save our entire race. Your precious dragon baby,” tears were running down my cheeks and I realized that it was because I was frustrated that I hadn't been there for her. My daughter had been hurting and I wasn't there for her. “You betrayed me by hurting her.”
“How many times can I say I'm sorry?” His face was drawn in tense lines, his eyes brimming with tears. “I was consumed by my grief. We all do stupid things when we're hurt. I didn't want to live, Vervain!”
“I know, honey,” I softened my tone and took his hand. “I know how bad it hurt and I'm sorry you had to go through that, but you don't get to have that kind of luxury when you're a parent. You gave up the right to wallow in grief as soon as Rian was born. Your life ceased to be your own when you became a father.”
“You still don't understand, A Thaisce,” his hand pulled free and snaked into my hair. His thumb rubbed my cheek gently as those dragon eyes held me in thrall. “All this time and you still don't know. My life ceased to be my own the day you first stepped foot in Faerie. I couldn't live for our children because I already belonged to you and when you died, you took me with you.”
“Arach,” I swallowed hard.
“I love our children,” he continued in a steadier voice. “I love them more than myself and I would do anything for them but I don't love them more than you. You have always come first and for that, I'll never apologize. I had no choice in the matter. You stop my world.”
I couldn't say anything to that, I just leaned forward and kissed him gently before sinking into his arms. His heartbeat was in my ear and his sweet dragon scent in my nose. I knew I should chastise him for not loving our children more but I couldn't. I loved him the same way. It's a horrible thing to rank your love for people and even more horrible for a mother to have to do it with her children and their father. I knew my feelings might change after I gave birth but in that moment, I would have chosen Arach over Rian or Samara. I simply loved him more.
“We never expected you to love us more than Mother,” Samara said gently as I untangled myself from Arach. “I didn't need that. I just needed help from you after she died but,” she held up a hand when he began to talk. “I understand now. There's someone I love as well and I understand how you could be crippled by her death. It was hard to mourn her without you but I understand.”
“You're in love?” I frowned as I tried to work through all the information I'd been bombarded with
. “And I'm guessing he's not Prince Baidhen?”
“No, he's not,” she sighed, “but hopefully none of this will matter soon. If you change our future, be sure to change things with Rian. A compromise needs to be made.”
“Alright, Samara,” I nodded. “We'll find a way. If nothing else, you will not have to marry anyone you don't want to. That, at least, I can promise.”
“Thank you, Mother,” she smiled.
“The only thing is,” I frowned. “How will I even know when I find the source of all of this trouble? How will I know what caused me to back down?”
That's easy, Alaric, Consciousness of the Void as well as the Human and God Realms, spoke into my head, and from the look on Samara's face, he was speaking to her as well.
“Al?” I asked. “Faerie let you through?”
Ever since your death, we've banded together, he explained.
He's a pain in the ass but he can be helpful, Faerie added.
You don't have an ass for me to be a pain in, Al teased.
“Okay,” I held up my hands. “Please do not bicker in my head. Just explain your comment, Al. How will I know what changed everything?”
Simple, I could almost hear his smirk. When you find it, that pivotal crisis which changed you, and you make the decision to handle things differently, in a way which will alter the future, you will be pulled back to your time because the future will be forced to change immediately.
“Immediately?” I felt my eyes widen. “It will change simply with my decision?”
There will be no simply about it, Faerie took over, You must have a plan in your head for what you will do instead of the path you're headed on. That plan needs to be specific and it needs to be the perfect one to change the future. If some detail is off or your intent isn't strong enough, it won't work. Even if you have stumbled upon the mistake which changed everything for the worse.