by Unknown
“Oh, pretty good,” he nodded casually and then abruptly started shouting. “For Hell turning into a damn popsicle because the Devil is babysitting his son, the Angel of Death, who's shirking all of his duties so he can play video games all day.. and here I am having to play with him so that his father isn't all alone in the crazy, cheese puff permeated, pretentious, delusional, obstreperous, unwashed, Stygian world of gamers!”
“So pretty good then?” I smiled.
“Yeah, it's not bad,” his voice dropped to a calm level again as he nodded and pulled off his parka. He caught a glimpse of the headset and pulled that off too.
“Nice use of the word obstreperous,” I noted. “And Stygian too. That's kind of ironic, a demon calling something hellish.”
“If you'd ever been forced to play Halo against your will, you wouldn't find it ironic. You'd find it valid,” Cid grimaced. Then he noticed the food. “You got anymore pizza?”
“I've got one in the pizza oven. I'll go get it,” Luke smiled gently at his friend. “Thank you for helping me, Cid. We couldn't have made it through this without you.”
“Anytime, Your Premier Unholiness,” Cid bowed. “It's given me some great torture ideas.” He took a seat next to Azrael and gave him a steady look. “So does this mean you're back?”
“Yes, I'm back,” Az grinned at Cid and then softened his smile as he slid his gaze to me.
“Yes!” Cid pumped his fist into the air. “The Angel of Death flies again!”
Chapter Thirty
Moonshine hadn't changed much. There were perhaps more plants but that was it. The neon sign still glowed bright blue over the warehouse facade, the dual entrances still waited to divide supernaturals from the normal people, and the waterfall still rushed over the edge of the second floor balcony to fall into its boulder bordered pool. The trees grew grandly from the ground, surrounding the grass-green vinyl dance floor, and the stage dominated the far left corner next to the massive slate-topped bar. Even the staff was the same, froekns all the way.
We'd arrived about an hour before opening, giving the werewolves plenty of time to get over the shock of my appearance. They'd needed it, several of them changed into wolves to deal with it better, but Vero didn't. He had the best reaction to my appearance so far.
“Well it's about time you showed up,” was all he said before he hugged me. “Welcome back, Mom.”
“Vero,” I whispered.
Holly was right, he was nearly Trevor's exact duplicate and it was hard to see. I glanced at Kirill and Az, where they waited off to the side with the twins, and Kirill smiled sadly as he nodded. It had been hard on him too.
“Yeah, I get that a lot,” Vero sighed, knowing immediately what I was thinking. He waved us all upstairs with him to the VIP area. “It's difficult to look in the mirror sometimes. Grandpa cries nearly every time he sees me.”
“Fenrir cries?” I asked and he nodded. “How is he? I mean, besides the crying.”
“As well as can be expected, I guess,” Vero shrugged. “Emma has held him together. I think he'd be dead without her.”
“I'm so glad he has her,” I took a seat on a fake hill and Vero sat on the edge of the flat-topped boulder before me.
“Did Samara go get you?” Vero looked down at my rounded belly. “That's Rian, I presume?”
“Dude, what the hell?” Sebastian asked as he sat besides Dominic, across from us. “How are you so relaxed about all of this?”
“And how do you know exactly what's going on?” Dominic added.
“I know our mother, that's how,” Vero shot Sebastian a look before refocusing on me. “I knew death would just be a hiccup for you. I've been waiting for you to return. Everyone else mourned but I just waited.”
“How did I inspire such faith?” I whispered in awe.
“It's not faith,” Vero took my hand. “I know you and I know what you're capable of. You taught me to never roll over, even when my enemy's blade is at my throat. Never give up, you used to say, fight till your dead and then come back and kill them all.”
I leaned forward and stroked his cheek, anguish and admiration fighting for space within my heart. How bad did things get that I did this to one of my children, made him into myself? Not the good self either; the hard, cynical self I wouldn't wish any of my children to be. So why did I make Vero so? And why did it make me feel so damn proud?
“Holy shit,” Sebastian whispered. “Have you always been like this? I don't remember you being like this.”
“I grew up,” Vero cast a dark look at the twins. “Someone had to.”
“Watch it, dog breath,” Sebastian started to stand but Dominic pulled him back down.
“Well, at least one of you has some sense,” Vero smirked.
Without missing a beat, Dominic's leg shot out and hit Vero right in the hip, so that he went flying off the boulder. Vero blinked up from where he laid sprawled in the grass and then started laughing exuberantly. He got up, dusted his jeans off, and nodded to his brother.
“Well done, Nic,” Vero resumed his seat.
“If you're quite finished?” I narrowed my eyes on my children and shook my head. There went that sense of pride.
“Sorry, Mom,” they all mumbled.
“That's better,” I nodded. “Now, Vero, do you remember the day when you came home with me and I was very upset? We ran into Azrael and he asked what was wrong but I wouldn't tell him?”
“Yes,” Vero glanced at Az and then back at me.
“I think it's the reason I was too apathetic to fight Arach over his decision to go to war with the other kingdoms of Faerie,” I leaned towards my son. “You need to tell me what happened so I can stop it and change this future.”
“You can't stop it,” he whispered. “At least not at that moment.”
“Could I stop it in my time?” I put my hand to my belly to remind him of how far back I had come from.
“Perhaps,” he frowned. “Do you really think you can rewrite all this?” He waved a hand around the room. “And what about us? Will we be rewritten too?”
“No,” I smiled at his quick thinking. “Alaric assured me that all of you will be born. You're meant to be.”
“Alright then,” Vero sighed. “How will we know if you've found the right information to make this change?”
“You're such a smart boy,” I gave his knee a squeeze.
“Mom, focus,” he laughed.
“Oh, yes,” I chuckled. “If I make the right decision, form the perfect plan, I will be instantly pulled back to my time as the future shifts.”
“Makes sense,” Vero nodded. “I still don't know how you can fix it but I'll tell you what happened.”
“Go on then,” I urged, my heart starting to speed up.
“Where is she?!” A booming rumble came from behind us and I turned to see Fenrir come out of the door which led down to Moonshine's tracing chamber.
“Dad,” I stood to face him but instead of the warm welcome I'd been expecting, Fenrir backhanded me, sending me flying into Vero.
Vero fell back as well, but he angled himself so that he took the brunt of the fall and then carefully helped me up. As he was doing so, Kirill, Azrael, and the twins rushed forward between us and Fenrir. They all sank into fighting stances, three sets of wings whooshing open to form a wall of feathers.
“You wanna die, old man?” I heard Sebastian snarl. “Touch my mother again and I'll reunite you with your son.”
“Grandpa, don't do this!” Vero got to his feet and eased through the wings.
“Damn you, Vervain!” Fenrir shouted as Emma came rushing out of the door behind him.
I got up and pushed past the wing wall too. I turned and motioned my men and sons back. I didn't want them getting involved. I loved Fenrir and he was hurt, that's all this was. I didn't want them escalating it. They shared a look with each other and backed away but the wings stayed warily open.
“Fenrir, no!” Emma grabbed Fenrir's bulging bicep and yanked in
effectively. She wasn't a small woman but she looked like a child next to the giant physique of my father-in-law.
“You killed him!” Fenrir narrowed his honey colored eyes on me. His skin was pale, the scar which ran down the left side of his face showing up dark against his gaunt cheeks.
“I love Trevor,” I said calmly. “You know that. I never wanted him bound to me. He did it all on his own.”
“And he vas happy to die vith her,” Kirill added. “I vanted to as vell.”
“See what you do to them?” Fenrir snarled at me and I flinched. “They want to die with you. That's what your love does. It makes men want death.”
I stumbled as if he had hit me and both Az and Kirill steadied me with a hand on each of my shoulders.
“Fenrir!” Emma shouted, her long, mahogany hair flying about her as she yanked on his arm. “You stop this right now. Trevor would have hated this.”
“Trevor is dead!” Fenrir shouted as tears started streaming down his cheeks. “My son is dead and you killed him, Vervain. You killed him.”
“I know,” I whispered. “But I'm going to fix it. I'll change this future and bring him back. I swear.”
“Fix it?” He scoffed. “You can't fix death, not even you, Godhunter. This is the present, not the future. It's already happened and you can't change it.”
“I'm from the past, Dad,” I laid a hand on my belly and his eyes fell to it. “I can change my future and your present will alter as well.”
“I'm not falling for your lies this time, witch,” he growled. “I curse the day I sent my boy to kill you. I should have done the deed myself.”
I swallowed hard, knowing his words were cutting deep and that even after the wound healed, I'd carry the scar back into my own time with me. Not just because I loved Fenrir as if he were my real father but because the words he spoke were the same ones I'd said to myself many times before. They felt true and that's why they hurt so horribly.
“Sometimes so do I,” I whispered and Fenrir closed his eyes in pain.
“If Vervain had never met Trevor,” Emma gave up on Fenrir's arm and went to stand in front of him, with her hands on her hips. “I would never have met you. She helped rescue me, or have you forgotten that? I would still be Demeter's prisoner if not for Vervain. We would never have married. We would never have had children and Vero wouldn't exist either. Do you still want to curse that decision? Do you still wish she were dead?”
“Emma,” Fenrir whispered and pulled her against him. “Of course I don't regret all of you. I just miss my son.”
“And so does she,” Emma said calmly. “So do we all. You do not have the monopoly on grief over Trevor.”
“But she-”
“Cease!” Emma pulled away to glare at him. “Enough, Fenrir. I can't stand any more of this. Trevor wouldn't want you to punish Vervain, he'd want you to help her.”
“You're right,” Fenrir sighed and lifted his gaze to mine. “Forgive me, Daughter.”
“It's okay, Dad,” I whispered and swallowed past the lump of tears balling up in my throat. It wasn't okay but I loved Fenrir so I would pretend that it was. That's what you do when you love someone, you pretend things are alright until they are.
Fenrir immediately came forward and pulled me into a hug, smothering me in his massive embrace. Then he kind of crumpled over me and sobbed. I was able to hold him up but it was awkward and I ended up angling him onto the couch/hill I'd been sitting on earlier. I continued to hold him as Emma came in from his other side and rubbed his shaking shoulders.
“Oh, that's it!” Vero growled, a low sound like wolf and something more. Everyone went silent, even Fenrir stopped crying.
I perked up and looked over to Vero, recognizing the sound beneath the growl. It wasn't another animal, it was power. I'd made him more than froekn. I don't know why it hadn't occurred to me. I'd given Rian two souls and one of those had been Ull's. But if it hadn't been Ull's, if I'd simply chosen a new god soul for him, I would have needed to supply Rian with his own magic. Like how Persephone was giving her daughter Demeter's magic.
Samara seemed to be entirely fey but I wasn't completely sure of that now. I'd obviously chosen to give Lesya some of my lioness magic, so that she could collect it all if I were to die, and then she could become the next Tima of the Intare. Sebastian and Dominic were angels, so perhaps I'd given them some of my love magic and Azrael would most likely have passed down Compassion instead of Death. But Vero... what would I have given the son of a Froekn Prince?
“I've had enough of your blathering!” Vero continued. “You're the Wolf God, so act like it. If my mother says she can fix this, then she can. My father would have been ashamed to see you like this. Ashamed of how you've behaved!”
“Vero,” Fenrir gaped at his grandson.
“What magic did I give you?” I stared at my son, bemused, completely ignoring his tirade and Fenrir's response to it. Then I stood up, letting Fenrir slip out of my arms, and went to Vero.
“The Moon,” Vero said with a small smile. “You made me the Werewolf God of the Moon.”
“Damn, that was pretty slick, huh?” I chuckled.
“It's worked out well for me,” Vero's smile turned into a smirk. “And it has its advantages where other werewolves are concerned.”
I glanced over at Fenrir's stricken expression and then back at my son. He just nodded.
“Well, don't use it against your grandpa again, okay?” I kissed his cheek. “It's disrespectful.”
“Alright, Mom,” he sighed and looked back to Fenrir. “Sorry, Grandpa.”
“No,” Fenrir frowned and stood. “May the gods be damned but you're right! I've behaved like a weakling, like prey. I'm not a sheep but a wolf and not just any wolf either. I'm their god and I needed to remember that. Now what are you going to do to fix this, Vervain, and how can I help?”
“Sit down, Dad,” I smiled and waved him back into his seat. “We were just getting to all of that before you arrived.” I explained the situation as I took the seat beside Fenrir and Vero sat on another hill beside us. Then I looked pointedly at Vero.
“It was Odin,” Vero began and everyone groaned, including me. “Let me finish,” he gave us all a quelling look. “You had broke up with him years before and decided to let him go but I think you believed he would return eventually.”
“I think you're right,” I whispered.
“He didn't, Mom,” Vero said gently.
“Yes, I've heard,” I swallowed hard. “Griffin's witch magic consumed him and he became fully human. He lived a human life span and then died. Was it his death that broke me?”
“No, it wasn't death at all but life,” Vero's eyes went sad. “You decided that it had been long enough. You wanted him back and were going to do everything within your power to get him to come home. I tried to talk you out of it but you wouldn't be swayed, so I followed you when you left Pride Palace.”
“Where did I go?” I asked.
“Somewhere in Illinois,” he huffed. “It was a nice enough place, your average American home in your average American town.”
“With your average ex-Viking god living in it,” Sebastian chuckled.
“Yes,” Vero cast Sebastian a look that shut him up immediately. Then he turned back to me to add, “With his average American wife and their new baby girl.”
“What?” I fell back into the seat and blinked in shock.
“And that was your reaction,” Vero took my hand and squeezed it. “You fell to pieces as soon as you laid eyes on Odin's little girl. He had moved on and that child was living proof that he was never going to return. You knew it and so did I. It broke you a little and though you tried to let it go, you were never yourself again.”
“So I really have to let him go,” I whispered. “I have to go home and accept that this is how it's going to be and Odin will never come home.”
“That might work,” Vero was watching me carefully.
“What?” I asked.
&nb
sp; “Well, you're still here,” he shrugged.
“Da,” Kirill agreed. “I don't zink zat vill do it, Tima. And vhat about Vidar? He needs Odin to remain Odin.”
“And how do I do that?” I frowned and looked up at Vero. “You're right, I don't know how to fix this.”
“Don't you?” Azrael gave me a soft look. “What have you been doing the entire time that you've been here?”
“Trying to discover where I went wrong,” I frowned deeper.
“Not just that,” Azrael lifted his brows.
“Fixing my broken men?” I asked.
“Exactly,” Az grinned. “You love forever, Vervain and you love completely. Your first thoughts weren't to try and discover the key to changing things, they were for us. You came for us and comforted us first because even though you knew none of this would happen if you succeeded, you couldn't stand the thought of us in pain for one moment longer, could you?”
“No, I couldn't,” I whispered.
“Because zat's who you are,” Kirill agreed. “So vhy did you give up on Odin?”
“I guess I thought he needed me to,” I took a deep breath and exhaled roughly. “I thought it was what he wanted and I was so damn tired of fighting with him. I thought that if he didn't want me anymore, I shouldn't push him into staying. If you love something, let it go.”
“That's a bunch of bullshit people put on pillows and coffee mugs,” Az scoffed. “That's not how you love. You're stronger than that. Fiercer. You don't let go, not ever.”
“You're right,” I nodded. “It's not how I love. I should have stopped him that day but now it's too late. I've already let him go.”
“It's obviously not too late,” Vero gave me a steady look. “You can still change his mind.”
“I don't even know how to find him,” I shook my head.
“First of all, that's defeatist talk,” Vero growled. “My mother doesn't talk like that. Second, you're a triple trinity being, don't tell me you have no idea how to find your runaway lover.”
“I may have one thought,” I looked down at the gold band on my ring finger and then over to Kirill and Az.