'Go away, Nathan!' She turned her back on him to stare blindly out of the window with her hands clenching the edge of the cupboard. 'Go away and leave me in peace!'
'I'm tired of these evasions, and I'm fast approaching the limit of my patience!'
His soft-soled suede shoes had made no sound on the tiled floor to warn her of his approach, and she was caught totally unprepared when she was spun round by the shoulders to face him. He glimpsed the sheen of helpless tears in her eyes, and he muttered something unintelligible as he caught her in his arms and crushed her against the hard length of his body. Wide-eyed and startled, her lips parted in protest, but the words were smothered beneath that hard mouth which had descended on hers.
A wave of dizziness engulfed her, and she clutched at his shoulders to steady herself, but her instinctive action was taken as encouragement. Nathan's mouth softened and moved against hers with a sensuality that assaulted her senses, and she could feel her control slipping precariously when his hands shifted up beneath her T-shirt to trail a path of destruction along the sensitive hollow of her back. Her resistance was crumbling swiftly when his mouth left hers to seek out the pulsating hollow of her throat, and she wanted him so badly at that moment that she trembled with the force of her emotions, but she came to her senses when she felt the catch of her bra give way beneath his fingers.
She struggled desperately to free herself. Her hands were flat against his broad chest in an attempt to push him away, and her breath was beginning to rasp in her throat when his hands cupped her breasts.
'No!' she gasped, and fear was her motivation as she thrust him from her with a burst of strength she had not known she possessed. 'Don't do this to me!'
'I want you, Julia,' he murmured throatily, his desire to learn the truth temporarily set aside. 'I want you, and I know you want me.'
'No! I don't want you!'
His smouldering eyes flashed in anger. 'You're lying, and I'll prove it to you!'
She knew she would be lost if he touched her again, and she darted away from him, placing the kitchen table between them before he could reach for her.
'Aren't you forgetting something?' she said coldly. 'Aren't you forgetting about Marcia?'
'Marcia?' he demanded with a harshness that made her wince inwardly. 'What has Marcia got to do with this?'
His callous disregard of the woman he was going to marry left Julia momentarily shaken. Was it possible that someone could change so much in five years? Did he feel nothing at the thought of betraying Marcia's trust?
'She has everything to do with this! Julia exclaimed, her anger rising to a peak where she felt like striking him.
Nathan stared at her as if he thought she had taken leave of her senses, then he gestured dismissively with his hands. 'Marcia and I are—'
'I don't want to know about your past, present, or future relationship with Marcia Grant,' she interrupted him, furious and also curiously disappointed. 'All I want at this moment is for you to get out of here, and I don't want you ever to come back. I want to be free of you, Nathan, as free as I was before you barged back into my life a few weeks ago, and I hope you will have the decency to respect my wishes.'
She was turning that savage knife in her own heart with every word she uttered, but she had no choice, and the ensuing silence was so intense that her raw nerves jarred at the sound of a dove cooing in the tree outside the kitchen window. Nathan had gone strangely white about the mouth, and his eyes blazed into hers with an anger that frightened her, but her glance did not waver from his. She dared not look away now if she wanted to lend credibility to her statement.
An agonising eternity seemed to pass before Nathan spun round and walked away from her with long, angry strides. Julia stood as if she had become rooted to the tiled floor beneath her bare feet, and it was only when she heard his car drive away that the terrible tension snapped inside her. She collapsed into a chair, and buried her face in her arms with a convulsive sob.
CHAPTER EIGHT
There had been clear indications since the beginning of the week that the weather was building up towards a storm. The bushveld heat was oppressive, and the Thursday morning had scarcely begun when Julia could feel the perspiration breaking out all over her body beneath her cool white uniform. It was going to be another of those long, hot summer days, and she sighed resignedly as she got up to adjust the position of the fan on the filing-cabinet to give Roland's wilting patients the maximum benefit of the breeze produced by those madly whirling blades.
Julia thumbed through the files on her desk, but she did so automatically. She was thinking about Nathan. Almost a week had passed since the Saturday afternoon when she had had the temerity to order him out of her cottage, and out of her life. She doubted that she would ever forget the icy anger that had replaced that look of incredulity of his face, and her heart still mourned her actions, but it had been the only thing to do if she wanted to maintain what was left of her tattered self-respect.
She reined in her painful thoughts when the consulting-room door opened and an elderly farmer emerged, leaning heavily on a sturdy cane for support. He raised his hat and they exchanged smiles when he passed her desk and, glancing at the appointment book, Julia selected the appropriate file and rose behind her desk to usher the next patient into the consulting-room.
Roland's manner was calm and pleasant, but Julia could see the lines of weariness and growing irritation etched about his mouth when he called her into the consulting-room to assist with the ante-natal examination of a young woman. The unbearable heat was robbing him of his usual stamina, and Julia could sympathise with him while she was locked in a desperate battle with herself to ward off that lethargic feeling which had been threatening to engulf her since early that morning. She was looking forward to her lunch-break when she would join Warren at his restaurant for a quiet, relaxing meal, but the hours seemed to drag tediously that morning.
'God knows I feel my age today,' Roland laughed wearily when the waiting-room had cleared, and he lowered himself into the chair behind her desk, stretching his legs out in front of him. 'I have never before longed with such intensity for a morning to end.'
Julia turned from the filing cabinet to smile at him, and her grey glance softened with compassion. 'This heat is enough to sap anyone's strength.'
'Is it time to close up shop?' he asked as if he was simply too tired to lift his arm to look at his wristwatch, and she glanced beyond him at the electric clock against the wall.
'Do you think anyone will complain if we leave the surgery five minutes early?'
'I certainly shan't complain,' he grunted, gripping the arms of the chair to lever himself up on to his feet. 'Get your things and let's go.'
Julia opened her handbag to make a few hasty repairs to her appearance while Roland disappeared into the consulting-room to take off his white jacket and collect his bag. She was taking a critical look at herself in her powder-compact's small, circular mirror and brushing a stray strand of hair behind her left ear when Roland returned, and he eyed her speculatively when she closed the compact and dropped it into her handbag.
'Are you going home for lunch?' he asked her when she preceded him out of the room and out of the building into the blazing heat of the sun.
'I'm meeting Warren.'
'You've been seeing quite a lot of Warren Chandler lately.' Roland pocketed his keys, and his eyebrows were raised in a quizzical arch when he glanced at her. 'Is there something on the go that I don't know about?'
'I've always liked Warren, and I enjoy his company,' she answered him evasively. 'I'm afraid that's all there is to know about our relationship at the moment.
Roland muttered something unintelligible as they walked round the whitewashed building to where they had garaged their cars, and they parted company in silence.
The interior of Julia's car was like an oven despite the fact that it had been parked in the shade, and she wound down the window in the hope of catching a breeze while she drove
down the main street of the village towards the Mopani restaurant. A thick layer of clouds had gathered over the mountains in the distance, but this had been a regular occurrence for the past five days without bringing Doornfield the relief its inhabitants sought.
The Mopani restaurant stood shimmering in the heat like an oasis in the desert when Julia drove up to it and parked her car beneath a shady tree. The sun was merciless, it stung her face and arms as she weaved her way among the outdoor tables towards the entrance, but the air-conditioned interior of the building had the effect of a cool cloth against a fevered brow, and she breathed a sigh of relief, pausing for a moment simply to enjoy the cool air wafting about her before she made her way towards the table at the rear of the restaurant where she knew she would find Warren.
'I'm glad you could come, Julia,' he smiled at her when she was seated facing him across the circular table. 'Shall we order immediately?'
She smiled and nodded. 'I think that would be advisable. I don't want to be late for work.'
Julia hastily scanned the menu he had give her. Warren ordered a grilled sole, but she preferred a salad dish, and they sat for some time without speaking after Joseph had left with their order. The silence between them did not trouble Julia; she was finding pleasure in simply taking the weight off her feet, and relaxing to the soft strains of the music which was relayed into the restaurant.
'You look exhausted,' Warren remarked at length with concern, and his dark glance lingered on the shadows beneath her eyes which her make-up had failed to conceal.
'It's this heat,' she explained away the evidence of her sleepless nights. 'I wish it would rain.'
Warren grimaced playfully. 'When it rains the restaurant business unfortunately suffers.'
'I never thought of the rain in those terms,' she laughed softly, spreading her hands in a helpless gesture. 'It's impossible, of course, to please everyone all the time.'
'You're beautiful when you laugh.' His expression was grave when he reached across the table to capture her hand in his. 'You don't laugh often enough, my dear.'
She wished that she could think of something witty to say, but her mind remained uncomfortably blank, and her expression sobered as she stared down at his fingers curling about hers on the table. Oh, if only his touch did not leave her so absolutely cold.
'Nathan Corbett's lady-friend is back in town.' Warren's unexpected announcement made her body stiffen in a painful spasm as if her nerves had made contact with a high-voltage wire. 'He called about an hour ago to book a table for two this evening.'
Julia eased her hand out of Warren's clasp, and she schooled her features into a blank mask before she raised her face to meet his dark glance across the table. 'I have no interest whatsoever in the activities of Nathan Corbett and his lady-friend.'
'That sounds promising!'
There was something in Warren's smile that made her feel uneasy, and he leaned towards her as if he wished to pursue that topic of conversation, but Joseph chose that moment to arrive at their table with their lunch.
Julia sighed inwardly with relief, and stared down at the salad dish she had ordered. It had been tastefully prepared, but her appetite had dwindled into oblivion at the knowledge that Marcia Grant was staying out at Honeywell with Nathan. Would this agony never end?
'I received a letter from my mother and she says she's looking forward to meeting you,' Warren interrupted her thoughts, and she raised startled eyes to his.
'You told her about me?'
'You were seldom out of my thoughts, and I had to explain the reason for my preoccupation,' he smiled self-consciously, putting down his knife and fork and leaning towards her earnestly. 'What about spending a few days in Durban with me some time next month?'
Julia shied away from the thought of meeting his family. It might suggest that there was something in their relationship which she was not sure she would ever be ready for, and it would simply make things awkward if his family jumped to the wrong conclusion.
'I'm not due for leave until November,' she prevaricated.
'I'm sure that Dr de Necker wouldn't object to giving you a few days' leave if you asked him.'
She felt as if she was being driven into a corner, and she imagined that it showed on her face. 'I don't suppose he would object, but…'
'Hey, Julia!' he interrupted her cautious reply when he sensed the reason for her hesitancy. 'Meeting my family doesn't mean you're under an obligation to marry me!'
She coloured slightly and lowered her gaze to her plate. 'What did you tell your mother about me?'
'I told her everything except the fact that I'm in love with you and want to marry you.'
'It wouldn't surprise me if she worked that out for herself,' she remarked drily, risking a glance at him, and encountering a gleam of mischief in his eyes.
'I've raved about other women in the past, but I never married any of them.'
'Oh, Warren!' she sighed helplessly, a smile plucking at the corners of her soft mouth.
'Eat your salad before it goes limp on your plate,' he advised with mock severity, and Julia was forced to make a pretence of eating.
She was not looking forward to leaving the cool interior of the Mopani restaurant, and it appeared as if most of the diners shared her reluctance. She had watched them linger over one cup of coffee after the other, and she wished that she could do the same, but the minute hand of her wrist watch was moving relentlessly towards two o'clock.
'I have to go,' she said at length, dabbing at her lips with her table napkin and picking up her handbag.
'I was serious about taking you down to Durban with me for a few days, and I hope you'll give it some thought,' Warren said when he accompanied her out of the restaurant.
'I'll consider it,' she promised when they stepped out of the building, and she grimaced when the heat washed up against her as if she had stepped too close to a veld fire.
'Will you let me know? Soon?'
'Soon,' she nodded, but she knew in her heart what her answer would be.
She could not accompany him on a visit to his family. She also had clarity about something else. She could never marry Warren. She was fond of him, and she appreciated his friendship, but that was all it would ever be.
Julia was in a saddened and disturbed state of mind when she drove away from the restaurant. Her future lay before her like a barren wasteland, but she could not marry Warren while her heart belonged to Nathan. She could not be so cruel to someone as nice as Warren, and she could not live with him as his wife knowing that the shadow of her love for Nathan would always be there between them. It would drive her insane, and it would destroy Warren.
The heat had reached its peak the Sunday of that same week, but there was still no sign of rain. Julia felt as if she was wilting like the flowers in her garden, and she had barely had sufficient energy that afternoon to wash her luncheon dishes and stash them away. She had toyed with the desire to take a nap, but she had known that she would not sleep, and to lie down would merely aggravate that lethargic feeling in her limbs. She was wondering how she was going to pass the time when the ringing of the telephone pierced the stifling silence in the cottage, and it seemed to take a considerable effort to get up and answer it.
'Come over for tea,' Elizabeth de Necker invited. 'Roland has gone off to the hospital, and I am in desperate need of company.'
Julia heaved an inward sigh of relief. Here, at last, was something to do, and she accepted Elizabeth's invitation without delay. 'Give me half an hour to change into something decent.'
She sponged her face in cold water, and changed into a cool, lemon-coloured frock which left her shoulders bare except for the narrow straps holding up the bodice. She applied a light touch of make-up, and left her shoulder-length hair free of the confining combs. Nathan had always liked it that way. But she did not want to think about Nathan!'
It had taken her half an hour, almost to the second, to reach Elizabeth and Roland de Necker's home. She parked her
car beneath a shady jacaranda tree in the street, and she was walking up the curved path towards the entrance of the house when Elizabeth stepped out on to the porch with its attractive assortment of potted plants.
'I'm so glad you could come,' she smiled, linking her arm through Julia's, and drawing her into the air-conditioned interior of the house. 'It's miserable sitting here all alone on a Sunday afternoon, and I wondered if you might not also be in need of company.'
'I had planned to spend the day with Warren, but something cropped up at the last minute and he had to cancel,' Julia explained as they entered the spacious, restfully furnished living-room where a tray of tea and scones had been laid out on the low, square table which stood between two comfortably padded chairs.
Elizabeth poured their tea into those delicately flowered china cups she loved, and she tempted Julia with a plate of freshly baked scones. They relaxed in their chairs while they drank their tea and talked. Elizabeth was not a taxing person to be with. Her conversation was intelligent but never demanding. She was, however, quick to assess a situation, and her shrewd brown eyes seldom missed anything.
'You're not looking well, Julia,' she observed gravely when the teapot was empty and the scones on the plate had dwindled to a few. 'The last time I saw you looking like this was three years ago when you arrived in Doornfield.'
Julia could not speak. It felt as if someone had seized her by the throat, and she hid the torment in her eyes by fixing her gaze on her tightly clasped hands.
'You're still in love with Nathan Corbett.' Elizabeth's astuteness drew a strangled gasp from Julia, and she could not suppress the tears in her eyes when she met the older woman's glance. 'Oh, you poor, dear girl!' Elizabeth murmured, shaking her head. 'And it must be absolute hell knowing that he is going to marry someone else.'
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