Finding Carrie

by C. E. Snyder

  “Well, I am,” he said, leaning back in the chair as he looked down to the floor.

  “If you are my husband, then how long have we been married?” she asked, looking back at him, trying to get his attention.

  “Six months,” he replied.

  “That’s all? How long have you known me?” she asked.

  “We just celebrated our two-year anniversary,” he said. He reached forward with one hand as he lifted the pendant off her neck to show her. She took it out of his hand to look at it and noticed the ring on her finger.

  “It’s beautiful,” she said, looking at both the pendant and the ring. “And so is this ring. Hey, look, it matches,” she said, draping the pendant over her fingers. Her ring had two blue stones on either side of a large diamond. “Is this my wedding ring?”

  Isaac nodded and took her hand. “Yes, it is.” He kissed her knuckles. She just stared at him. “These blue stones are for your daughters, and the diamond is for you,” he said, kissing her knuckles again. “Do you remember me telling you this when I gave it to you?” he asked, hopeful.

  “No, I’m sorry I don’t.” She shook her head. She pulled her hand away, wiping it off, and then she looked at him. “I have daughters?” she asked with her head tilted to the side and her eyes slightly squinted.

  “Yes, you have twin daughters, Sabrina and Sierra. They are in the waiting room with Lee Lee. Would you like to see them?” he asked, looking toward the door.

  “Um no,” she said, shaking her head. She was a little dizzy. Bringing her hands up to her head, she felt something covering her face. “No, I don’t want to see anyone. Who is Lee Lee?”

  “Okay. That’s okay, and Lee Lee is my sister,” he explained, pulling her hand back and pushing the call button to get a nurse.

  “Oh, your sister,” she said, letting him take her hand away from her head. She didn’t know why she felt at ease with him near her; they kept saying that he was her husband, but she didn’t have any idea who he was, and she didn’t trust him.

  “I called your mother. She’s going to be here tomorrow,” Isaac said, hoping that it would help her.

  “I’m sorry, but I don’t want to see anyone,” she said, shaking her achy head again.

  “I know, but you have a day to prepare,” he said, stroking her face with his finger; he was surprised when she pulled her face away. “Um, I’m sorry,” he said with a frown on his face. “I’m going to tell my sister to take the girls home, and I’ll be right back,” he said, getting up. He averted his face because he didn’t want her to see the hurt on his face. He had to remember that she didn’t know who he was.

  When he got to the waiting room where the twins and his sister were watching him walk down the hall, he took the tissue that Lee Lee was holding up and wiped off his face. He didn’t notice that his eyes were flowing like a waterfall. “What is it? Did she wake up?” Lee Lee asked.

  “She’s awake,” he said, wiping his eyelids again. The twins both jumped up and ran over to him, tugging on his shirt.

  “We want to see her,” they said at the same time.

  “Well, the thing is, she doesn’t remember anything. She didn’t know who I was,” he said, looking at his sister.

  “Oh no,” she said, wrapping her arms around him.

  “And she doesn’t want to see anyone,” he said with his head on his sister’s shoulder, looking at the twin girls, who looked close to tears. “I’m not sure she wants me in there.”

  He stepped back from his sister and went to the girls to comfort them. “Girls,” he said, looking back and forth from their faces. “Don’t worry. She’s had a terrible head injury, all right, but she loves you. You know she does,” he said, hugging and kissing each girl.

  “But I want to see her. I haven’t seen her in a week; I want to see her now,” Sabrina said, looking up at Isaac.

  “Well, let’s try something, okay,” he said, taking the twins’ hands and leading them to their mother’s room. He then stopped to whisper, “I’ll take you both in, but remember, she doesn’t remember you, so don’t take anything she says to heart. I’m hoping that you two will strike her memory.” He pulled the girls behind him as he went through the door.

  When they walked into the room, Carrie was laying on her side with the covers bunched up in her hands near her face. When she heard someone coming in, she turned to look. She saw three faces looking down at her. “I thought I told you I didn’t want to see anyone,” she said, studying the two girls’ faces that looked exactly the same.

  “You did, but I thought that maybe when you saw the twins, you would remember,” he said with shame in his voice.

  “Well, I don’t,” she said, shifting so she could look at them better. “I don’t know any of you. I told you that.” She was nearly in tears.

  Isaac’s face dropped, and he looked at each girl. They wanted to cry, he could tell, but they were trying to be strong enough not to. “Well, I’ll take them out. I’ll be right back,” he said, taking them out of the room. “I’m sorry, girls.”

  “I can’t believe she didn’t remember us,” Sierra said sounding upset and terrified.

  “What does her face look like without those bandages?” Sabrina asked.

  “She’s got two cuts on her face, one by her mouth and one above her eye. The doctors say that she will not have huge scars, just tiny ones,” he explained. Sabrina just nodded and looked at the floor. “Lee Lee, can you take the girls to Dad’s and stay with them? Could you also pick up Carrie’s family from the airport tomorrow? They should be in at noon. I don’t want to leave her, though I think she would rather that I did. I know she doesn’t remember me, but I’m not about to leave.”

  Lee Lee put her hand up on Isaac’s cheek. “Of course. I’ll bring you some fresh clothes tomorrow too,” she said and leaned over to kiss Isaac’s cheek.

  “Thank you,” he said. He watched the three of them get on the elevator. He took a deep breath and let it out slowly, running his fingers through his hair to smooth it down, then turned to head back to his wife’s room.

  Chapter 6

  Carrie woke up the next day, lying on her side curled up in a ball. Her hair was swept in front of her face like a curtain. She heard the man from the day before talking to someone. It must have been the doctor again, but she wasn’t sure. She was startled by someone pushing hair out of her face. She rolled over to see the man who was supposed to be her husband. He was looking down at her; his eyes were swollen red. He must have been crying. He seems to do that a lot, she thought to herself.

  Isaac looked down at his wife. He had been crying all morning, worried about her. He loved her with every ounce of his soul. “Do you remember me?” he asked Carrie.

  “Yes,” she said. He sighed with relief and hoped that she remembered everything. “I met you yesterday, didn’t I?”

  “Oh, you don’t remember anything before yesterday?” he asked, disappointed.

  “I only remember yesterday,” she responded, pushing herself to a sitting position, wincing from the pain in her side. She didn’t remember anything but the day before, which was frustrating to her. She wanted to remember. She felt lost and empty. Most of all, she wanted to help this man, Isaac, to rid the pain from his eyes. She didn’t know why she felt sorry for him. She didn’t even know who he was.

  “I am going to release her from the hospital tomorrow. Take her home and try to live normally. Maybe she will remember something if she is in her own home,” the doctor suggested.

  Isaac turned to look at the doctor. “And what if she doesn’t?” Isaac asked.

  “Well, wait a few days, and if she remembers nothing, try taking her down memory lane. Give it a try only if living normally doesn’t work,” the doctor said, leaving the room. Isaac sat in the chair next to the bed.

  “Your family is here,” Isaac said, holding Carrie’s hand.

  “My family?” she asked, pulling her hand away from him. He looked at her with sad eyes.

  “Y
es, they are waiting in the waiting room. I had them wait until you woke up. I’m hoping that they will help you remember,” he said.

  “Okay, let’s try it,” she said, looking toward the door. She thought maybe if she agreed to meet these people he was so adamant for her to meet, he would stop asking. Although she would rather be left alone, he didn’t seem to be going anywhere. Isaac got up and went out to the waiting room.

  When he got there, Carrie’s whole family stood up to greet him. “She has agreed to meet you all, but I don’t want her to be upset.”

  “Of course not,” Carrie’s mother said. “I just hope we can help her.”

  “Okay, follow me,” Isaac said, turning back toward the room. As they walked, everyone was silent. Isaac was the first to enter the room. Carrie sat as still as she could, watching people pour into the room, and when the last person was in, she looked out the door for more.

  “Wow, are there any more coming? I must have a huge family,” she said, almost laughing.

  They ignored her question, and Isaac asked, “Do you remember any of them?”

  She looked at each one of the faces in the room, studying them carefully. She looked at the twin girls who were clinging to both sides of Isaac’s body. “The only ones I remember are those girls. They were here last night,” she said, pointing to her daughters.

  “No one else?” he asked.

  Shaking her head and looking around the room again, Carrie said, “No, I’m sorry.” And she was sorry. She wanted very much to remember these sad faces that were staring down at her.

  Her mother stepped forward. Sitting in the chair next to Carrie, she took her hand. “I’m your mother, honey,” she said, holding back tears.

  “Oh,” Carrie said. “What is your name?”

  “Well, my name is Katharine Shay, but everyone calls me Kate,” she said with a smile on her face.

  “Then I will call you Kate, if you don’t mind, just until I remember,” she said with her head tilted to the side.

  Kate’s chin quivered, and she closed her eyes. “Yes, of course,” she said, then got up and left the room, holding a tissue to her mouth. A man came to sit in the chair.

  “I’m your father, dear,” the man said, holding Carrie’s hand.

  “My father.” She paused. “What is your name?” Carrie asked the man.

  “Thomas Shay, and before you ask, yes, you can call me Tom,” he said, bringing her hand to his mouth and rubbing it over his jaw. He got up and followed Kate.

  A woman sat next to her in the chair. She did not take her hand; she just rested her hand on the bed, and looked up at her.

  “I’m your oldest sister,” she said, looking Carrie in the eyes. Carrie saw tears swimming in the woman eyes.

  “What is your name?” Carrie asked.

  “Melanie,” she said. “I’m married to Lee. Do you remember being in the wedding? You were a bridesmaid.”

  “No, I don’t,” Carrie said, shaking her head.

  “Well, I have three children: Sarah, Leanna, and Lee Junior. Do you recognize any of those names?” Melanie asked.

  “No, but I think one of my nurses’ names is Sarah,” she said with a smile on her face.

  “Oh well.” She sighed. “I’m going to check on Mom and Dad,” Melanie said, and she got up and left the room. A young man sat next to her. Carrie looked at him. He was sitting lazily in the chair.

  “Well, I’ll get this over with. You’re not going to remember me anyway. I’m your brother, Chris, and I’m married to Missy. She wanted to come, but she couldn’t get off work. I’ll see you later,” he said and left the room. Carrie watched him leave and looked at Isaac for some kind of reassurance.

  “What was that?” Carrie asked. Another woman sat in the chair and picked up Carrie’s hand.

  “Don’t mind him,” she said in a low voice. “He’s just as disappointed as we all are. I’m your other sister, Linda. I know you don’t remember, but we are very close, like best friends. Well, until you moved to New York City that is.”

  “Why is that?” Carrie asked, tilting her head to the side.

  “Oh, you’re just really busy writing and all. Hey, don’t worry, we still talk,” Linda said, trying to make the situation a bit lighter. “I’m married to Ed. I don’t have any children to speak of, unless you count the four-legged kind,” Linda said, laughing. Carrie just looked at her with a confused look on her face.

  “Oh, I see,” Carrie said, trying to laugh at the joke.

  “Well, I’m going out to the waiting room,” Linda said.

  Carrie watched her leave, and the twins went with her. It was just Carrie and Isaac left in the room. He sat in the chair and picked up her hand. “You don’t remember any of them, do you?” he asked. Carrie just shook her head and looked at the wall. For just a moment, she let him hold her hand. What could she do? He seemed to always want to touch her.

  “What happened to me?” she finally asked, turning her head to look at Isaac’s face. “Why is it that I can’t remember?”

  “You had an accident. You got a bad head injury,” he said, bowing his head and looking at the back of her hand.

  “What kind of accident?” she asked. He didn’t raise his head; he just shook it. He didn’t want to tell her. He didn’t want her to be upset. When he wouldn’t look at her, she pulled her hand out of his grip and pulled his chin up to look at his face. “Tell me. I have bandages on my face and a nasty bruise on my side. Please tell me how I got them?” she asked, looking in his eyes for the answers.

  “You were attacked,” he said with tears flowing down his face.

  “Attacked? How? Why?” she asked, shaking her head and letting go of his face. “Tell me everything. Don’t leave anything out.”

  “I went to pick the twins up from the airport, and you stayed in the hospital with my mom. She had a stroke. That is why we are here,” he started to say.

  “Your mother is she okay?” she asked with concern, but she didn’t know why. Her heart started to race. She was alarmed, and she was confused by it.

  “No, she was taken. You were attacked while trying to keep her safe. Do you remember?” he asked, recognizing her anxiety.

  “She was taken? Oh no,” she said, putting her hands over her face.

  “Carrie, do you remember?” he asked, reaching for her hand.

  Shaking her head, she said, “No, I don’t, but why do I feel this way?” She dropped her hands and let tears stream down her face. Her heart was pounding, and she didn’t know why she felt it was all her fault.

  “You were very close to my mother,” Isaac said.

  “I’m sorry,” she said.

  “It’s not your fault. You did what you could,” he said, trying to reassure her.

  “Yes it is. I don’t know why, but I feel that it is,” Carrie said. She wished she could remember. This was more frustrating than not knowing the man in the room with her.

  Chapter 7

  “How would you like to go home today?” the doctor asked Carrie, examining the cuts on her face.

  “Sure, if I could only remember where that is,” she said with grimace.

  “Well, you have a wonderful husband, and I’m sure he will take care of you,” the doctor said, trying to reassure her.

  “I will, I promise,” Isaac said. He was leaning against the wall, watching the doctor examine her.

  “Well good. The stitches will dissolve, so we don’t have to worry about taking them out, but I’m worried about your memory. I have done all that I can do for now. If you need anything, you can call or go to your local hospital, but I will let you go. You may put on your own clothes while you wait for the papers,” the doctor said. He replaced the bandages over her eye, and then he left the room. Carrie looked at Isaac, who was now opening the suitcase and taking out some clothes for her.

  “Where is it—where I live?” she asked as he placed the clothes on the bed and reached out his hand to help her.

  “New York City,” he said
.

  She swung her legs off the bed. “Oh, that one lady from yesterday said that I had moved there,” she said. Isaac reached around her to untie her gown. “Um…what are you doing?”

  “I’m helping you get dressed.” He paused and looked at her.

  “I think I can do that myself,” she said, looking up at him. He didn’t say anything; he just waited to see if she could do it. She winced at the pain in her side. “Okay, you can help me.”

  “I am your husband, after all,” he said, reaching around her again to finish untying her gown.

  “I don’t remember,” she said, looking down at her hands, at her wedding ring. He grabbed her face in his hands and brought her up to look at him. She wanted to pull away, but she didn’t.

  “I know that, but I will not hurt you. I am here to help you, and I will help you remember.” He let go of her face and helped with her clothes. She swung her legs back on the bed.

  “Are the girls coming with us?” she asked, playing with the tie on her hoodie.

  “Yes, they have to go to school,” he said, brushing her hair.

  “They go to school?” she asked, looking up at him.

  “Yes, sweetheart. They are twelve. They are in the sixth grade. Although it is summer, they are going to the summer program for the arts,” he said as he tied her hair up in a ponytail.

  “If they are twelve, how old am I?” she asked as she searched for her ID bracelet. “Am I old enough to have twelve-year-olds?”

  “You just had you thirtieth birthday,” he said, settling in the chair next to the bed.

  “I’m thirty. That would have made me eighteen when I had them,” she said, figuring it out in her head.

  “You were,” he said, resting his hand on the bed.

  “I was? Then where is their father? It can’t be you. You said that we have only been together for two years. Is that right?” she asked.

  “That’s right. When the girls were about a month old, their father committed suicide on Lookout Hill, where you are from. You told me that you were there. The police wrote off what really happened,” he said, leaning closer to her.