by AP Jermaine
“Yeah I’m going.” I said with aggravation as I jumped outta the bed and snatched my pants off the floor. “If for no other reason than to watch the nigga die.”
Chapter 75 “All Revealed”
The sound of machines beeping and buzzing as family members stood outside the doors of their loved ones; crying, hugging, and praying, made me uneasy to say the least. I don’t like hospitals. The sight of Latonya with her arms around the shoulders of Ms. Tina as she weeped and moaned, sent me into a spiral of mixed emotions. And it wasn’t because I’d had sex with both mother and daughter. It was a feeling I couldn’t explain. A sadness, if I must admit.
“My god, Teddy!” Latonya saw me first as she raced over, tears flowing rapidly.
“Oh, my Lord! Thank you for coming Teddy!” Ms. Tina walked up to me and grabbed my hand like I was the Pope!
“He’s awake now. Please go in and talk to him. They say he gotta go to surgery soon.”
“What happened to him? Who shot him?”
“Flame did it Banks.!” Latonya’s tears continued to flow as she hugged herself.
“What?”
“Flame shot him six times over some drugs! Everybody knows it, but when the police got there aint nobody seen shit!”
“Damn.” I thought. Fuckin snake. The only thing I hate just as much as a rat. “Lemme go see what he got to say,” I said walking past them, headed to the room they’d been standing in front of.
“Thank you Banks! Oh Lord, thank you.” Ms. Tina cried as she and Latonya clung to each other tightly. As I stepped through the room door, the beeping of the heart monitor, along with the sight of all the tubes and lines running vertically into Shell’s body, was the first thing I noticed. Not wanting to be there any longer than I had to be, I fought down the hatred I felt towards him, and walked over to his bed. Shell looked like shit. His hair was nappy, his skin was dingy and dirty, and face looked like skin thrown over a skull, his jaws were so sunken. Feeling my presence in the room I guess, his eyes slowly came open. The hint of a smile played at his dry lips.
“I…can’t…can’t… believe… you…cc…came.” Immediately it became obvious that he was struggling to speak, when his voice came out as no more than a hoarse whisper.
“Say what you gotta say man so I can bounce.” Yes, I’d come. But only because of my curiosity, of what a possible dead man could have to say to me? Suddenly, catching me completely off guard, a tear ran down Shells face as he spoke.
“I…didn’t do it… man.” He struggled to whisper the words.
“Say what?” I asked him as my heartrate quickened.
“Monique… I…didn’t do it. It won’t me bru.” Suddenly the room seemed to close in on me, as I became lightheaded, realizing I’d heard right the first time, the words he’d just spoken. “You hurt my feelings bru.” Shell’s voice seemed to be clearing some, as he looked over at me.
“Hurt your feelings? What the fuck you mean I hurt yo feelings?” My heart raced like a locomotive as a thousand thoughts at once bounced around in my mind!
“All I wanted was for you….to be proud of me; for finally making it on my own. But you would never…give me credit…for nothing.” Shell spoke as the tears flowed down the sides of his face. “Then when… when that happened to Monique…the…first person you accused of it was me. You…hurt my feelings bru. I couldn’t believe you would think that little…little of…me, to think I would do that to you. You were … the… only…only brother I ever had. I…I love you bru. I would never do you…like that. You hurt my feelings. I know…that if I didn’t let you know the
truth now…I might not never get…the chance. They say…I might die. I feel like it. I’m so… tired.”
“Man, if you didn’t do it why the fuck you didn’t just say that!” I know Shell couldn’t be that stupid!
“I tried once…. At the club.”
I remembered now, the night I’d ran into Shell at the club, and he’d said he needed to holla at me. The sad part about this shit is, I know he’s telling the truth. I can read people. A gift and a curse. “Why the fuck did you wait so long man?” I asked him now frustrated with his stupidity.
“You were, busy… doing… other things.” His eyes looked past me as I turned to see his mom’s standing against the wall. Damn. What the hell could I say.
“Man I…”
“Don’t worry about it man. I forgive you.” Shell held out his hand as I grasped it solidly in my own.
“Flame did this to you?” Shell attempted a laugh that seemed to hurt him to his core. “Chill out dog save your strength.”
“Yeah. Flame. My Ace. Emptied his pistol in me over two bags of dope.”
“Two bags of dope?”
“Yeah, I was sick, and I snatched two bags from this kid named June who sell for Flame. He ran up on me… behind the store getting high and shot me.”
“After all the shit you did for that nigga. He shot you over twenty dollars?”
“Yea…Yeah. Aint life some shit?” Shell tried to laugh again, this time going into a violent coughing spell that brought blood to his lips!
“Breathe! Breathe dog!” I said grabbing the cup of water beside his bed and bringing to his lips so he could drink. That seemed to ease the coughing as Latonya stepped up and dabbed the blood of his lip.
“Watch him till I get back Banks. I gotta run and use the phone. My mama aint in it right now.” Latonya said as I looked over at Ms. Tina still standing against the wall, hugging herself while staring into the floor.
“Preciate… that…dog.” Shell pushed out in a whisper.
“So, did Flame do it bru? Did he do that shit to me? “
“Nah. His bitch ass was wit me that weekend. I don’t know who did it dog. I’m sorry man.”
“It’s all good my nigga,” I squeezed his hand back.
“I’m dying bru, and I’m scared.” Shell looked at me as the tears started to roll down his face again.
“Nigga quit talking crazy. Mean as you are, I know death too shook to come near you.” I joked more surely then I felt.
“I…lost a lotta blood man. I gotta…bullet next to my heart and I can feel it moving.”
“Look dog you….”
“It’s okay bru.” Shell cut me off. “Before I go I just needed to know that you forgive me.”
“Forgive you for what?”
“For being stupid. Doing dope, forgetting what…. who my real friends were.”
This is the untold truth, and I’d be lying if I said that my tears didn’t match his. “I forgive you dog. The same way you forgive me for my stupidity. We only humans, right?” Shell simply nodded his head.
“So…we brother’s again?” Shell asked squeezing my hand as his tears continued to flow.
“Again? Nigga we always been brothers, always will be.” I squeezed his hand even tighter just as Latonya walked back in the room.
“Thank you bru.” Shell smiled just as his heart monitor started to speed up, and the sign of his breathing difficulty became frighteningly obvious! Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep.
“Shell, you aight bru?!” I asked frantically, just as his eyes rolled into the back of his head and his heart monitor flatlined! Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee _____________ “Shell! Shell!!!”
Chapter 76 “The Unveiling”
I know you’re probably wondering what I’m thinking right now, and I promised to give yall the untold truth, all the way from the seed to the tree. And right now, I’m thinking that the truth is a bitch. And the truth of the situation, is just like I’ve said, Durham, (The Bull City,) is the murder capital of North Carolina, with over half of them going unsolved. Monique is like a needle in a haystack, and I’ve already accepted the realization of the fact, that there’s a strong possibility of me never finding out who murdered her. Just like Tika said, sometimes you just gotta let go. So, Monique if you’re listening, don’t feel like I’m giving up the fight, but I gotta push on. But also know this, and thi
s goes for everybody. I’ve been praying to God all my life. But tonight, I prayed to the Devil. Vowing to sell my soul, if he could somehow find a way to show me, just whom it was that helped him, carry out his evil plans for this world, and against me. So, if by chance, I do ever find out who was responsible; with the vicious and ungodly acts that I will undoubtably commit against them, I know I’d never make it into heaven anyway. So, fuck it. And Flame? This sorry piece of dog shit, unloaded his gun into the same man, that for so many nights had housed, clothed, and fed his bitch ass, over two fuckin bags of dope. Twenty funky ass dollars. I can’t say this enough my niggas. If you choose not to take heed, then that’s on you. It’s always the niggas around you that do it to you. Whether it’s hating on you, snitching on you, whatever. It’s the same nigga that’s watching your girl out the corner of his eye, while at the same time praising your whips and your jewelry, because deep down he really wants to be you. Smiling in your face as his heart fills with envy; just waiting for his chance to snake your ass out. Because that’s what bitch ass niggas do. Then, as soon as you take a fall, which he more than likely helped orchestrate; he’s all up in your bitch face with that; “Yo if you need anything just call me” shit, knowing the lifestyle she’s accustomed to. The sad part about it is, that a lotta these trapstar hoes go right with the bullshit, and fall right in line with the nigga, knowing that the nigga’s a rat and snake, but not giving a fuck about that, simply because she’s not willing to put morals, over the lifestyle she’s used to. He’s a nigga getting money, and that’s all she knows and needs. A money getter to support her lavish habits. Sad, but true. The untold truth. Now, aint no need for yall broads to be sitting around rolling your eyes and smacking your lips, because if you are, then it’s only because you know I’m talking about “yo” ass. Like I said before, if the shoe doesn’t fit you, then don’t put the motherfucker on. But for those of you that it does; go see your ex-man this weekend on visitation, and tell him you appreciate all he did for you when yall was rockin. Sometimes that may be all a nigga needs, to accept the inevitable. And he might even give you a little respect back, just for keeping the shit one hundred. So, to all my real niggas out there trappin that paper; take a look over at the nigga sitting next to you, grinning like a slave and patting you on the back because you carrying his bitch ass. But make sure you look in his eyes my niggas. The lips can grin as wide as the sea, but the eyes never lie. They’re the windows to the soul. Look hard in his eyes and if he flinches, or if suddenly you see that obvious envy that his lips have been trying so hard to disguise; there’s two ways you can go with it. One: Hop on the highway and push your whip up to about a buck twenty, look over and point to something out the passenger side window, and as soon as he turns his head to see what you’re pointing at, open his door and push his ass out! Make sure you’re in the inside lane, so the cars behind you will run over his ass too. Tell the cops he said he was tired of living in a world so cruel, and jumped. Or two: Do like Nino Brown said in New Jack City when he found out Pookie was snitching. Take his bitch ass out back and kill him! I’ll get back wit yall later. I gotta go check on some shit.
Chapter 77 “The Untold Truth”
Knock…Knock… Knock… “Hold on I’m coming!” Monique yelled from inside the house. “Hey girl! Who car you driving now bitch?” Monique joked when she opened the door.
“Oh, that aint nothing but a crack rental. You know how I do.”
“Yeah, it looks like one too.” Monique laughed as she closed the door.
“As long as it gets me from A to B, I don’t give a fuck what it looks like.”
“I know that’s real girl. I’m glad you came over though. It’s boring as shit out here by myself. What you been doing today?”
“Not shit girl. Trying to make a dollar outta fifteen cents. Shit girl, get us something to smoke. I’m tired and I’m trying to get high!”
“Girl you know I’m pregnant! Banks would skin my ass alive if he knew I smoked something.”
“Bitch please! What is you? Five six weeks? That shit aint gone hurt nothing. If anything, it’ll make his, or her lil ass smarter. What Banks don’t know won’t hurt him. Some shit we gotta keep between just as girls. Shit, what the hell does he think you suppose to do out here in the boonies?”
“I know that’s right. Fuck it. One blunt won’t hurt nothing.” Monique grinned as she dashed over to the closet, opened it and then bent down to enter the safes combination. BOOM!!! The sound of the 40 Caliber exploded inside my ears as the impact of its hollow tipped bullet threw Monique halfway across the room! “Ahhhggh! Keisha! Oh, my god, you shot me!” Monique screamed as her face filled with tears and confusion, gripping her leg with both hands as she tried desperately to stop the blinding pain and the continuous flow of blood that seeped through her fingers!
“You stole my man Nique! My soulmate!” I screamed right back at her as my face filled with tears and emotion of my own. The hand I held the gun with shook so badly, I had to hold my wrist with the other, just to keep my aim steady.
“Your man! Oh god, you’re crazy! Ahhhhh!” Monique’s screams of pain became increasingly louder as the blood continued to flow from her thigh wound.
“I’m not crazy! I just can’t let you have his baby Nique! Can’t you see that?! He’s my soulmate Nique!” My tears ran so rampant now, it was becoming hard for me to even see!
“Oh god call an ambulance! It hurts! AAAHHH!” Monique continued to squeeze her leg while rocking back and forth in obvious pain.
“I know girl. I love you Nique. I’m sorry girl.” I told her truthfully as I pointed the gun where I thought the baby may be growing, and blew a baseball sized hole through Moniques stomach! The kick from the large gun, staggered me back a couple of feet. Catching my footing and righting myself, I stepped back up, watching the last bit of life escape from Monique’s eyes, as her facial expression seemed to stare up at me in eternal disbelief. The blood. There was so much blood. The sight and smell of it, mixed with Monique staring guiltily up at me, almost caused me to vomit. I held that shit down though. I’d sat and watched too many late - night episodes of CSI, to not know that vomiting on that carpet would only lead to one of two things. Life in prison, or Death Row. You know, DNA and all that good shit. My friend is gone. I thought as I looked down at her one last time. But what’s done is done. I can’t bring her back, and she brought it on herself. Tucking the heavy pistol back into the waistband of my DKNY jeans, I snatched the Kroger’s shopping bag and winter gloves outta my coat pocket, slid the gloves on and dashed to the closet, filling the shopping bag with all the contents of the safe. The bag was a lot heavier than I’d expected it to be. Feeling as if backed into a corner, I’d bet all my chips, on Monique
having to go to the safe for the weed I’d suggested we burn. If she’d have said no to smoking, then I may have had to result to just killing her and leaving. Being able to empty the safe, worked out beautifully, just like I’d planned. Create a robbery theory. Her first mistake was absent mindedly showing me where the safe was. On that previous day, I’d come by to scoop her up so we could go to a cookout, and she’d finally let me inside, which she’d never done in the past. I only made it to right inside the door though.
“You got some weed? I aint smoking though.” Monique had yelled over her shoulder as she ran down the hall to retrieve her Coach bag.
“Nah girl. I sold my last quarter about thirty minutes ago. I’m waiting on Jay to hit me back so I can cop some more. I got some powder.” I told her with a sly grin.
“Bitch please. Aint nothing.” Monique seemed annoyed as she opened the closet door and went to the safe for some exotic. Right then and there, my plan started to materialize.
Scared outta my fuckin mind now, as the realization of what I’d just done started to sink in, I knew I couldn’t nutt up now, and that I needed to get the hell up outta there! Quick! I wasn’t really worried about anybody having heard the gunshot because the houses were so far apart. Neither
was I worried about fingerprints, because like I said, the first time I’d been inside the house, I’d only stood at the front door. This time, I’d sat on the couch with my hands in my lap. Now I was wearing gloves. Base one was covered. I hoped. I knew that if Banks ever found out what I’d done, no matter how much I told him I loved him, I was one dead bitch! But fuck it. That was a risk I’d just have to take. Speeding past Monique’s dead body into the kitchen, I lifted the window, pushed out the screen and dropped the bag to the ground. Following suit, I climbed up in the window, jumped to the ground and nearly broke my fucking ankle! “Ouch!” I yelled before standing shakily to my feet, pulling down the window and re applying the screen. Nervous, sweating, and crying, I limped back to the front of the house. Climbing the front porch steps, I looked around once more to make sure the coast was clear. Reaching back with my one good foot and giving it everything I had left in me, I “crackhead kicked” in the front door, hopped back to my rock rental, and hauled my lovesick ass up outta there.
Chapter 78 “The Aftermath”
What? I don’t know why yall sitting there with ya mouth open shaking ya head at me, like I’m the fuckin Black Widow or some shit! Let the bitch who be without sin, cast the first stone! She brought it on herself. Yeah, I loved my homegirl Nique! But I love my man more. More than anything or anybody. She knew how I felt about him when she slid her black ass up under him. It won’t enough that she somehow tricked him into putting a ring on her finger, but then the bitch pop up talking about she about to have his baby! Oh, no the hell you not! Wit ya slick ass. I know she never told Banks how I begged her every weekend to let me come with her to see him. And every weekend she’d say the same shit. “Not this time.” It got to the point where I just stopped asking. I knew she didn’t really want me to see him. And how the hell could I tell Banks that the reason he’d only gotten two letters from me, was because I’d only been to school up until the 6th grade and that I can’t spell that good. The two letters he did get, I’d had Peaches write for me, and then that ho caught a funky ass attitude and wouldn’t write for me no more. Stupid bitch. I got something for her slick ass too. But how the hell could I tell Banks that, and have him looking at me like a dummy? Oh, hell to the no! So, you see the position I was in? I know it was Monique’s backstabbing ass who told Banks about me and Peaches doing a lil candy licking too. But I bet she didn’t tell him how her ass got pissy drunk one night and joined in. Ok. Ok. I did slip some Molly in her drink. But that aint no excuse! She still did it! She cried like a baby the next morning too. Talking about she cheated on Banks. Bitch get a grip! You let Peaches eat yo pussy, so what? I gotta give it to her though. I sent mad niggas at her trying to get her to give up some pussy. I’m talking some official get money niggas too. That shit was a dead issue. She sat on that pussy and waited for Banks. And in the real world, that shit is damn near unheard of! So, I give her props on that. But fuck that, she stole my man. I love him. He’s my soulmate. And no, it’s not just because of the Mr. Marcus style fuckin he be putting on a bitch neither. But I will admit, that shit is a HUGE plus! I mean come on now, what woman doesn’t want a man with a big dick that can make her sing Star Spangled Banner in six different tongues she’s cummin so hard? That’s what the fuck I thought. I mean, just think of all the dudes you’ve gave the pussy up to, and when the shit was over you were laying there like, “What the hell was that bullshit?” Yep. You go right to your pussy pamphlet, find his name, write a big zero beside it, then scratch that shit the fuck off! And don’t even front like you don’t be giving up the pussy like that, because it aint no more grown virgins, and yo name damn sure aint Mary. We girls love to get us a good nutt, just as much as the boys do. Can I get an Amen? I’m a female, I know, so stop the bullshit. Believe a bitch when I tell you, that Banks is the kind of dude that you might meet out somewhere; hell, he might be your man’s homeboy, and it don’t take but a few short minutes of being around him and you like, “Damn. I wanna give this nigga some pussy.” You feeling all crazy about yourself, because in the same moment you like, “Damn, I don’t even know him. What’s wrong with me?” Nothing. The Kitty Kat just spoke for you, and the Kitty Kat always knows. But like I said, it aint all about the sex with Teddy. It’s something about him that just draws you to him. It makes you wanna be around him, please him and seek his approval. Out of all the dudes I’ve ever fucked with, I’ve never felt like this before. Just the mere mention of his name makes my heart quicken! That’s how I know he’s my soulmate. You only live once goddammit, and I deserve to be happy too! What? What did you just say? What about Hood? Yeah what about him? Fuck Hood’s punk ass. Hood won’t nothing but a vessel to bring Banks into my life. I know that now. Yes, God does work in mysterious ways, doesn’t he? My grandmother dying and leaving me that two thousand dollars was another sign. It was just the excuse I needed to be able to give my baby his money back. I’d already been giving him an extra thousand here, and extra thousand there when I paid him for the soft he’d been giving me to sell. Then I gave him $47,000 thousand when my grandmother died. Another seven thousand and I’ll have given him all the money I took from his safe. I could never steal from my man. Well, technically he aint my man yet, but he will be. It’s only a matter of time. It’s meant to be. And Shell! That piece of shit! How the fuck he gonna go and tell Banks that I gave him some pussy! He almost ruined us! I fixed his punk ass up nice too. Fuckin junkie! The morning after Monique was found, I went to the beauty salon to get me a fresh Doobie. While I was there, I casually mentioned that Shell was the main suspect in Monique’s death, and that everybody who was anybody, knew he was the one that killed her. Although the police had no real way of proving it. Bingo! Now all us bitches know, if you want some hot gossip to hit the streets quick, go mention that shit at your nearest hair and nail shop. Them gossip spreading bitches will come running outta there with some news, quicker than roaches when the lights come on! Yep, he deserves everything he gets for trying to turn my boo against me. DIE NIGGA! But wait a minute. Hold the fuck up! I don’t know why I keep hearing bitches smacking they teeth and shit. Bitch don’t judge me! I don’t give a fuck if you the Queen of England, or Lil Kim. It aint a bitch in this world, that can look herself in the mirror and honestly say, that it’s not at least one man somewhere; either past, present, or future, that she wouldn’t kill just to have. Or have back. Bitch keep it real with your motherfuckin self! Wait a minute…. Oh shit! I’ll holla back at yall tomorrow! There go my man coming up the steps. I gotta go! Don’t judge me. Holla back. Until Tomorrow…