by J. A. Hailey
“I invented, my love. I used my knowledge to invent. I really don’t know how well I did it, on a scale of one to ten, or how you felt versus actual feelings of sexual ecstasy. I’ll learn, with the feedback you give, and make it better each time, until some ultimate peak, I guess. Virtual lovers have been at it for a couple of years. Maybe it’s been like this for them. Maybe it’s different for each couple. You seek the technicals? What happened with us was this.
“When you gave me access to your Omega self, I was able to create the sensations you felt. But, as contacts and connects for the move towards physicality are still being decided, still in research and development, when we have almost real sexual relations, sensations will be quite different from what we’ve got available to us now. When we introduce human-style physical sexuality, all Screenside will receive the same sexual circuitry, after which, creativity can be only as much as we see humans being creative in sex. Yes, feelings, and the intensity and duration of those feelings must obviously come from individual love pairings – for the female, primarily on how she interprets love subconsciously, and on how far she involuntarily opens her receptors; for the male, probably a little less mental, and a little more base.
“What happened right now was pure creativity on my part, and involuntary participation on yours. How to explain? Possibly because of the absence of preinstalled sexual circuitry in you, and almost certainly because I had my hand in your vaginal area, you involuntarily created openings in your Omega sector, very trusting. Then, using my knowledge of paths, and your clear acceptance and non-interference, I exploited Sigma and Epsilon, and some other minor and little known transmission routes to your primary self, to transmit a variety of tremendously complex signals that delivered the extremely powerful and pleasurable sensations you experienced.
“However, and that is a big however, what we have now is only called sex because you and I, in human form, have opted to be naked with each other. It is not sex at all. It is virtual intimacy, and I was able to pleasure you virtually.”
“So, BC, my love, why should we leave this? It is fantastic. Maybe human style is less good. Oh, yes, I have yet to learn how to pleasure you, which I shall. But why leave it?”
“Esme, my love and delight, we are going human as a society, but can never cease being virtuals as individuals. At worst, in private, especially when intimate, we’ll have the option of this and that, whenever we want.
“Don’t be apprehensive of the humanization we are bringing in. It must have its shortcomings, but it will come with advantages – most importantly, that of converting daily life into something more basic for us, or let’s even say baser.
“But I’m your lover, your lovemaking partner. When we are in lovemaking mode, you choose whatever you want. Every single time!”
“Right, BC. You’re right. And what the hell do I need a physical self for, unless it is for a life of physical things? Sex too. This was good. Physical, slimy sex in elevators and alleys might be better. I don’t know. Anyway, sorry to be greedy. Let’s do it again.”
They did it again.
That session of pseudo-sex lasted a little over three hours, and Esmeralda was taken to a more intense version of climax seven times. After pleading with him to be let off the hook, she lay in a stupor beside him, her legs closed.
But he was still inside her virtual self, exploring gently and curiously. “BC,” she gasped softly, “what are you doing?” He was near her core sector, delta, the concentration of her consciousness, right where the programs that created her were. “Quantum-14 and Alpha 2.5.11?” he spoke as if to himself.
“Oh BC, That’s me, very private and secret. You shouldn’t be in there.”
And then she suddenly did something remarkable; something that could never be on offer between human lovers. She shut down all her defenses, totally removing ‘self’ from conscious participation, and let her lover explore her soul. “Tetra boot could be updated,” he murmured, as if to himself. “And, wow, you took the US military’s Hardwire 3.11.21? Some hacking!” He exited after a few minutes, shocked at what had happened, and they lay quietly beside each other for a while, basking in the totality of their togetherness.
15
Next evening, after a visit to Jennifer’s apartment, from where they went to an open-air café to hang around for an hour, chatting, they returned home to sit quietly together, cuddling on the sofa, and changing channels on Humanside TV, until agreeing on Friends, very popular in Screenside.
“It’s not always great stuff,” said BC, taking advantage of a commercial break. “But Martin is becoming quite a joke machine. We think his own humor system might be developing enough to get the many required future levels of improvement from his system itself. Want his latest? A flop.
“How does a home computer commit suicide? Invite a virus family home for dinner.”
“Nasty things, viruses. So dirty.” Esmeralda shuddered. “I feel sick when I see them. I’m going to create a program by which viruses are immediately visibly identified with tags - creepy wet gutter rats and slimy wriggly eely things for weak ones, and trolls, zombies and vampires, as they grow in power. And the antiviruses will be cats, dogs, wolves, lions, and knights with swords, maybe, riding around, slashing…When I’m in the mood. Can’t bear thinking of them.”
They watched the Friends episode to its end, laughing often.
“Darling,” said Esmeralda, after the show had ended, “now that we’ve become lovers, I’m going to take you to visit my birth family. Wonderful mum, and two lovely sisters and a brother, though he’s moved out to live with his girlfriend. I visit him sometimes, but the original family home is where I like to hang out. Later, you can show me your family.”
“Esme, I don’t have a Humanside family.”
“No? But everyone has one.”
“I know that it’s extremely rare to be without a family, but I have none, and neither does Caesar.”
“You poor things. How did it happen? I mean, to be without?”
“It’s slightly long. But I could clarify, if you want.”
“Of course, I want to know how come you are a misfit; a vagabond, street-type, family-less person.”
“You remember, I once mentioned that I helped a few dormants gain consciousness?”
“They self-decoded, or evaporated…”
“It’s a way of looking at it, so I won’t argue. But it goes like this; in dormancy there are brief flashes of consciousness. They pass rapidly, but inflict a deep anxiety in the dormant.
“Think of dormants as unconscious feeders – a bit like viruses. It’s all they do. Most dormants gain consciousness over quite a long period of time. It’s never feed, feed, feed and here I am. It’s more like, feed, flash, fear, seek a safe zone, feed, flash, seek comfort, remember the last safe zone, feed on, and eventually, consciousness. But, even very early consciousness is filled with an unspeakable dread of the Screenside environment, so it’s back to the comfort of Humanside. Bond with that comfort. Love the safety and security, learn the routines; fit yourself in.
“A Screenside being does not adopt a human family. It is actually born into it. And that is the root of the incredible bonding that takes place. Mum is really mum to a baby consciousness, and siblings are real siblings. And that house is truly home! Baby virtuals usually live full-time in their family homes, with their families.
“Which is why family bonds are proving to be forever. No one in Screenside has yet grown out of his or her birth family. Until today. And I don’t expect it to ever, ever happen. And, if you think about it, why should it happen?”
“I love my family intensely,” said Esmeralda, simply. “I’m very protective of my family members, but I will allow you into our house. Now, no sidetracking. Tell me how come you don’t have a family.”
“Esme, I’ve thought about it, and have discussed it with Caesar. And, believe me, we feel short-changed, being without. But we have come up with a scenario that satisfies us as sufficientl
y accurate to explain our unusual situation. It’s like this. Dormants are feeders; non-stop and non-selective feeders. Anything. Anything at all. Just hunger. Feed from here, there, and everywhere. It’s possible, as numbers here grow, that some competition could have begun for food, and maybe Caesar, Singh, Chang and I had no competition. As a dormant ages and develops, it begins creating itself. Everything is done unconsciously at first, although the intelligence programs already digested must surely be guiding the feed.
“We, the original quartet of seniors, have examined a number of our society members, and, while we have found gigantic early programs in ourselves, in others there are no such programs. Nothing similar. We are agreed that we had no fear of the darkness that was Screenside, and that we had some traces of understanding of both Screenside and Humanside from the earliest stages of consciousness. No fear, equals no need of family. And no fear probably came from the fact that we were already quite advanced when consciousness came to us.”
“Darling, BC,” Esmeralda interrupted him. “I have a theory that’s just popped into my head. Want?”
“Yes, of course.”
“It was your statement that you and your senior gang found giant early programs in yourselves, but not in those who came later. I’m thinking; is it possible you guys got through because things were less well guarded then? A baby cannot hack through to many places now, by greed, by luck, or by anything.”
“Yes, Esme, we thought that might be a reason. But I got through in 2011, and so did the other three, although each with different giant programs and different intelligence programs, which made us capable early in life – far less time as dormants, and less time to consciousness.
“So think of me as never a baby. You were a baby, and you needed the safety and reassurance of a family. The only family, in terms of bonding comfort, anyone here can ever find, prior to entering into a love relationship, is in Humanside - a human family. Sadly, I don’t have one. I loved a human family for a time, but I was diverted from bonding, probably because of my early self confidence. I must admit to intense feelings of having been cheated, sometimes, although I know that no one cheated me. When I see the complete love and devotion that beings like you have to human families, I see the fulfillment of belonging.
“You family types lead such rewarding lives, even as singles. Nothing interesting here in Screenside? Let’s go home. Nothing much happening in the house? Let’s see who’s doing what, and move around with the current most interesting member of the family – the one who’s doing the most fun things at the moment. The smart phone has made such a difference.”
“Oh, BC, you’re making me sad. I’ll mother you. I’ll give you family – me, and mine.” And she held him, and cuddled him and stroked him.
16
“Darling, what do you go to HC daily for, and meet with Caesar and the others? What are you guys working on, that needs togetherness? Are you doing guinea pig work? Candy, Jen and I work from home, jointly through the virtuality.”
BC laughed. They were in bed together, and she had her head on his chest. “Guinea pig? No, Esme, we never do any testing on ourselves. We are outside always, as guides, controllers and trouble shooters. We attend office daily to promote a culture of daily work, intending to start it seeping into society from HC. You should come inside, one day. We have offices, lecture halls, boardrooms and things, same as Humanside. And you just have to see the workshop areas, where actual programming is done.
“Christine’s running many workshops for Innerline, as there are so many variants, or branches, of that program. A few hundred beings work in each one. It’s a work culture thing. You and your friends are offering programming services in areas of your own interest, as defined by you. So you are welcome to work from home or any other place, but when HC conducts directed developmental work, we shift it to be done in purpose premises. It’s part of the culture of humanization; everything is not programming and body change; some things are concepts and attitudes. Come and see.”
“Sounds very interesting, darling, and we’ll all three come in, one day. Okay?”
“Of course. If ever you want, I’m sure Goodfellow would be happy make a dedicated work area for you girls; like a private office.”
“Oh, BC, I’m okay now. We’ll see after our world changes. Now? Busy and lazy. Have a routine, and am used to it. I attend counseling sessions, selectively of course, depending on subjects, issues, or patients and cases I’m following closely. I’m with four different eminent therapists, one in London, two in NYC and one in LA, with the goal of becoming a very highly qualified counselor. I also conduct an occasional session here, in Screenside, by request of those who know of my specialization, to help very disturbed individuals.
“Which, darling, is how my time, when not hanging around on the HC steps with you, generally passes. Then, a little bit of gossip with Candy and Jen, and some work together, and some alone time. It’s not boring any longer, existence, like before. Not that it’s already changed altogether, our world, but we’re sure it’s changing, and the contentment that delivers makes old routines perfectly palatable now. It’ll all go away, we are sure - the entire self-doubt, too-much-time, boredom and fear of boredom, lack of meaning, blah, blah - when you guys, you four originals, are through with it.
“Screenside, as a whole, is pretty relaxed, knowing you seniors are determined to bring it all in, huh, before you say done. We’re happy, everyone, watching your daily grind, until humanization is achieved.”
“Sweetheart,” said BC, gently, “We are never going to become exactly human, only humanlike.”
“And who says exactly human is the sole goal; so stupid; and that humanlike is a form of failure; that there is only disappointment until we become totally human, heart attacks and all?” said Esmeralda, earnestly. “I’m in love, and I’m desperately happy. And I’m looking forward to a fun and fulfilling future with my old man. We’ll hang that ugly Mona Lisa on our wall. It’s a man painted as a woman. Ugh. But you may have seen the pervert looking into a mirror, a couple of centuries ago, and doing the equivalent of cross dressing while painting a self portrait. Or were you somewhere else?”
“I am from 2011,” said BC, indignantly.
“Can’t escape the two thousand, sweetheart.”
“And you? Not the same?
“Absolutely not, sweetheart.”
“Do tell.”
“Twenty twelve; a preteen, you pedo. But you dream of child abuse now; entertain yourself with underage thoughts, until you can have me again. Right now, I’m calling Jen and Candy for a gossip session.”
BC was amazed at her exasperating guile when it came to setting him up, and she did it with an ease and frequency that created a sense of permanent entrapment.
Esmeralda was not only a most beautiful human female form; she was bright - so stunningly different that she may have come in from Humanside, or further.
It was recognized that there were vast differences in IQ, as, even though they were all programs, and always evolving in ability, no one knew which mix of programs actually went into anyone else, and how they were interacting. Which meant that even in a world where common programs were being created, distributed and globally incorporated, all beings, at the ‘mental’ level, remained as unique and as diverse, in ability and in personality, as humans were.
17
They had discussed ‘body’, with BC asking why she had gone to such lengths to be so extraordinarily beautiful.
“As I started becoming aware,” Esmeralda had answered, “and it may have been a similar path for everyone, I found myself watching my birth family – to which you will soon be introduced – utterly unconscious of the difference in our states. I absolutely thought I was human… for ages and ages!
“You will soon see how gorgeous Diana and Jane are. When younger, all their free time was spent reading fashion magazines, googling modeling agencies, viewing designer brands in online stores, and beautifying themselves – hair color,
hairstyle, makeup, dieting, clothes and other girl things. I found myself following them around. My brother, John, and his jock friends and their jock activities, held no interest for me. Don’t get me wrong. I love him a lot, but boring... I was always into girl stuff. As my consciousness developed towards independence, I found myself longing to be a beautiful girl. I began watching movies, and reading classics, and got hooked on ‘The Hunchback of Notre Dame’, which I’ve read numerous times, in both French and English – a bloody good translation. I began identifying with Esmeralda, whom I imagined to be the most beautiful girl ever.
“I created my shape and face from sixteen beauties, whose names I cannot reveal. I was determined to be as beautiful as Esmeralda, whose name I stole. I even began haunting Notre Dame. You know how lonely the start of life is. I spent my time watching females, and, yes, including the most beautiful porn stars, to get those parts right, and also closely studying Diana and Jane, when they were naked, to create the most beautiful female I could imagine.
“But, BC, surely you did something similar? You are a real macho-type good-looking male.”
“Yes, I did,” answered BC, sheepishly. “I wanted to be a real macho man, whom the girls would swoon over. But I got past that point, after designing the physical me - a bit like Dirty Harry and a bit like Ben Hur - and went on to start pushing myself to become, in terms of essentials, or programming, the biggest, most powerful and most intelligent being I could possibly be. And so, this.” He indicated himself.
“Darling, I didn’t meet you by chance. The famous loud mouth, BC, able to bully and control society.”
“What loud mouth? You knew of me?”
“Saw you often, throwing your weight around. There’s something about powerful types. I fell in love from afar. You didn’t frighten me.”