by Jerry Cole
His smile widened. He was looking forward to his date with Jan. He just hoped they would click.
***
Morgan pulled into a spot in his newly leased Audi in front of the small building that his phone’s GPS had directed him to. He checked his teeth in the rearview mirror, made sure his shirt was buttoned up properly and popped another mint in his mouth. He sucked on it until he saw Jan step out of the building. Even under the cover of the night sky, Morgan could tell that Jan looked good. He was standing behind a street lamp and wearing a white shirt and blue jeans that clung to his legs in a way that made them look even nicer than the tight black pants of his waiter uniform did. Morgan rolled down the window on the passenger side of the car and smiled at him.
“Are you getting in?”
Jan cocked his head. Morgan couldn’t see his expression from where he was standing, but he didn’t look particularly impressed. He walked over to Morgan’s car, leaned down and glared at him. “You’re really picking me up like this?”
“Unless you know where else I can park,” Morgan replied. He was trying to be playful, but he was sure he was coming across as apologetic instead. “I’m pretty sure if I stop on the fire line I’ll get towed. And I just got this car.”
Jan smiled. “Is that supposed to impress me?”
“I’m not sure,” Morgan replied. “But if you get into the car, you’ll be able to smell that lovely combination of leather chemicals that makes up that new car smell.”
“Can’t wait,” Jan replied. He opened the door and climbed into the passenger seat. “You know, I’m an expensive date. I don’t usually let men pick me up off the side of the road.”
“I’m surprised more men don’t try,” Morgan replied. Now that he could look at Jan’s face, he looked even better. He was wearing a silver stud on his left ear and his eyes were shining. They were light blue-gray, with little green speckles in them. They were huge and Morgan completely forgot they were supposed to be going anywhere in the first place. All he wanted to do was get lost in Morgan’s eyes.
“If you don’t drive away, won’t you get towed?”
“Right,” Morgan replied. “Good point.”
He put his car in gear and merged onto the street.
“Thank you for picking me up,” Jan said. “I know the traffic here can be a little crazy if you’re not from a big city.”
“I’m not,” Morgan replied. “But Atlanta isn’t small, and the traffic there is way worse than this.”
“Atlanta is a big city,” Jan said, as though Morgan didn’t know that. “You’re not from there?”
“Nope,” Morgan said, shaking his head. “I just went there right after school. I thought I wouldn’t be able to find anything because I graduated after the recession started. I mean, it took me forever to find something I wanted to do anyway and, of course, once I graduate from my post-grad, the market is totally in shambles. Everyone’s scrambling to make sense of their financial situation, but to be honest, I didn’t care. I mean, I was already poor as fuck. I didn’t think things could get any worse. I applied to so many places and this developer in Atlanta called me. They were a small developer, offering me a nice entry-level package. With benefits. At twenty-one, I thought benefits were the best thing in the world.”
“You graduated when you were twenty-one? From grad school?”
“What can I say? I’m good at math,” Morgan replied, feeling his cheeks redden. He didn’t like to let it slip that he was something of a prodigy when it came to things like programming, but Jan seemed happy to move on from the subject.
“So you took the job,” Jan replied.
“Oh yeah, I took it,” Morgan said. “No hesitation whatsoever. Things were kind of stagnant for a couple of years when I first joined, but I didn’t care. I had a paycheck and a job. It didn’t look like they were going to fold, they had a bunch of investors, international ones. And then they blew up and everyone knew who they were. Well, at least in our industry.”
Jan looked at him, cocking his head. Morgan turned to look at him and smiled briefly then he looked ahead at the traffic lights again.
“If you don’t mind me asking,” Jan said as Morgan accelerated. “What do you do exactly?”
Morgan smiled. “I don’t mind you asking. The answer is not very interesting, though. I’m afraid it’s going to disappoint you.”
“Yeah, you being some sort of genius is going to be so much less interesting than being a waiter,” Jan replied when he was done laughing. “I’m at a disadvantage here because I have nothing interesting to add.”
“I don’t know, your job seems kind of fun,” Morgan said. “I bet you get to meet some very interesting people.”
“Sometimes,” Jan replied. “I mean, I got to meet you. But you won’t tell me about your job.”
Morgan laughed. “It’s just such a drag to talk about. I write financial software code.”
Jan looked at him, raising his eyebrows. “For FinaSoft Corporation?”
“Yup,” Morgan said. “Do you know what they do?”
“Not really,” Jan replied, looking away and shrugging his shoulders. “I know they’re big. I mean, that building is intimidating as hell. You’d think they have several companies in it, but I asked one of our regulars one time, and he said it was just headquarters for FinaSoft. And they’re not, like, a big company, right? They’re not one of those ubiquitous ones that you just hear about on the news or whatever. Or that everyone uses, like a social networking site or an app or whatever.”
“Right,” Morgan said. “Jesus, there’s a lot of traffic tonight.”
Jan laughed. “I’m from New York. And you’re so cute.”
“I don’t think I’m ever going to get used to traffic like this,” Morgan replied, smiling and shaking his head. “I’m from a tiny town on the border of Florida and Georgia. It’s a beautiful place, you know, one of those towns with rolling hills and trees that cover every street so it looks like it’s something out of a fairy tale. That’s where I learned to drive. I always felt like I needed a drink after I got done driving in Atlanta.”
“Did you have one?”
“Yup,” Morgan said. “Every day, when I got home. One glass of red wine, watch a little TV or read a book, then go straight to bed. I didn’t have that much of a life when I was living in Atlanta, my life was work, work, work.”
Jan looked at him and smiled. “Is your life more fun here?”
Morgan looked back at him. The car had come to a stop behind traffic, and when they managed to move, it was only a few inches. Morgan ordinarily would have been annoyed. He didn’t like being in a car that much, he hated traffic and he wasn’t a confident driver, especially not under conditions like this. But being stuck in a car with Jan was a pleasant experience. He had found he was opening up far more than he normally did, especially on dates. There was something about being around Jan that put him at ease. Jan was disarming. He was easy to talk to, he smiled a lot, and he asked a lot of questions. He looked totally relaxed, too, as though he had been in Morgan’s car a million times before and going on dates was just a thing that they did together all the time.
“I don’t know yet,” Morgan finally replied. “I guess I’m still getting used to being here.”
“Do you think you’ll have more fun?”
“I’m probably going to be really busy,” Morgan said. “But I can definitely see how it could be more fun.”
Jan turned his face to look out the windshield of the car as they started to move again. “I hope you do have fun,” he said, a little quietly. Morgan didn’t know him that well, but he thought that he sounded sincere.
“Getting there,” Morgan replied. He wanted to touch Jan then, but the GPS on his phone commanded loudly through his speakers that he turn left, startling them both. They laughed, but soon, all Morgan could think about was how difficult it would be to merge into the left lane while Jan hummed a song Morgan didn’t recognize under his breath.
**
*
They were seated by the window after skipping past a line that Morgan thought may go all the way around the block. He was glad he’d made reservations and that valet parking had been so easy to spot, because he was done with being in the car. They walked into the restaurant together, Jan’s hand on the small of his back and driving him crazy. Jan was touching him, as if it was the most natural thing in the world. As if they had dated for ages and public displays of affection were par for the course. Morgan had never had anything against PDA, but some of his ex-boyfriends were still a little shy about showing their affection for men in public. Morgan couldn’t blame them. His parents had been extremely supportive when he was growing up, but his town was still small and Southern, and Morgan knew well the importance of discretion. That was why he always let the men he was with take the lead. There was also the fact that it allowed him to gauge their level of interest in him, but of course, he wasn’t about to admit that to anyone. He had a hard enough time admitting it to himself.
Jan’s hand on his back was a definite indication that he was interested. The way Jan looked at him, when they were finally seated at the table next to the window, the soft purple lighting of the wall lamps falling on his smiling face, was enough. All Morgan could think about was the way that Jan was looking at him as the host told them a waiter would be with them in a second, then left them alone. It was first time they had to talk since Morgan had handed his car keys over to the valet.
“Do you want to start with drinks?”
“Sure,” Jan said, pawing at the drink menu on the table and bringing it close to his face. Morgan wondered if he needed glasses for a second, but it was probably just how dim the lighting was inside the restaurant. Morgan grabbed the drink menu in front of him and scanned the list of cocktails.
“I’m having a martini,” Morgan said after a few seconds, peering at Jan from above the menu. The bottom half of Jan’s face was covered and his eyebrows were creased. “Do you know what you’re having yet?”
“A regular beer is fine,” Jan replied after a while.
“You don’t like cocktails?” Morgan said, raising his eyebrows.
“No, I… I like cocktails,” Jan said, putting the menu down and looking at the table. The glass that covered the table was completely transparent and covered artwork that looked as beautiful as it did expensive. It looked like more than one artist had painted the table and Morgan realized that every single one in the restaurant would have a different design. He just hoped the food was as good as the art. Not that he could focus on that for long, because despite how beautiful the restaurant was—and it was beautiful, with wooden finishes and soft lighting and a mural on the wall that seemed to tell a story —the only thing that Morgan could focus on was the way Jan looked.
Now that he was sitting right in front of him and that Morgan didn’t have to think about anything else, all he could think about was how out of his league Jan was. Jan looked more like an actor playing a waiter in a movie or a stock model pretending to be a waiter than a waiter. That was the first thing that Morgan had thought when he had seen him out of the corner of his eye. He was thinking about it now, too, even though he was sure he was supposed to be saying something. Anything.
He cleared his throat before he spoke. “So, why don’t you order a cocktail?”
“It’s just a little pricey,” Jan replied, looking away from him.
Morgan’s eyes widened. “Don’t worry about that. This is on me.”
Jan looked up at him. “You sure?”
“Absolutely,” Morgan replied. “Unless you’re telling me this isn’t a date and I’ve had the wrong idea all along.”
Jan grinned. “No, this is a date.”
“Good,” Morgan said, smiling back at him. “Because I’ve been looking forward to our date all week. If I suddenly found out that it wasn’t, well, honestly. I’d be devastated.”
Jan laughed, shaking his head. “That seems a little extreme. You barely know me.”
“That’s true,” Morgan said. “Which is the reason I was looking forward to getting to know you.”
“Good,” Jan said. “I was looking forward to our date, too. I told my friend Nicola at work about it, and it felt so stupid. Like, ‘Oh, I have a date with this cute guy that came in here the other day, I’m so excited’.”
Morgan could tell he was blushing by the heat in his cheeks. He was grateful Jan probably couldn’t see how red his face was in the dimly lit restaurant.
“I was excited, too,” Morgan said. “You kind of outed me to my colleagues, so I didn’t have to hold back anymore.”
Jan’s eyes widened. “What do you mean I outed you to your colleagues? Shit, I knew I should have kept the flirting in check.”
Morgan rolled his eyes and laughed. “It’s fine. They all seemed to think it was cute. Though one of my colleagues now has someone lined up for me in case things don’t work out with you.”
“Oh, competition,” Jan replied, wiggling his eyebrows. “I love competition.”
Morgan laughed again. “I don’t. Does that mean that I’m up against someone?”
“Not yet, but I only moved a few months ago,” Jan said, smiling at him. “So, maybe?”
“I don’t know if I should be flattered or scared,” Morgan said.
“Flattered,” Jan replied. “If I were you, I would definitely go with flattered.”
Morgan smiled back at him, his cheeks burning and his heart fluttering in his chest.
***
Hours had passed and groups of people had come and gone since Morgan and Jan had arrived at the restaurant. They had eaten and were now working on dessert, a vanilla mousse thing served in a mug with salted caramel frosting on top and a fancy name that Morgan couldn’t remember and wouldn’t have dared try to pronounce. They had decided to share and their little silver spoons were clattering against each other inside the white mug. He was sure it would have tasted amazing if he wasn’t already full, but he didn’t want to leave and Jan had wanted dessert. He had asked for it by flashing him a smile and fluttering his eyelashes. Morgan had said they could get dessert, while laughing again, though he hadn’t wanted any, and Jan didn’t need to ask him that way.
“This is so good,” Jan said as he licked his spoon. “Honestly, it’s so fucking delicious. Thank you again. Who did you hear about this place from?”
“The internet,” Morgan replied. “Apparently, it’s pretty well known in the city. I made reservations that very Sunday, you know.”
“The day you asked me out?”
“Uh huh,” Morgan said, taking a bite of the dessert. It was delicious, airy and chocolaty and salty at the same time. He closed his eyes and made an ‘mmm’ noise. “This is the best dessert I’ve ever had.”
“I won’t tell Andrew at Elements.”
Morgan raised his eyebrows at him.
“Our sous chef,” Jan replied. “He’ll feel like you’re cheating on him.”
Morgan smiled. “Do you get discounts for working there?”
“Nope,” Jan said. “No free food either. Sometimes, if I’m very lucky, Andrew will let me taste something new that he’s trying. But only until he gets the head chef, you know, the one who owns the place, to taste it. She’s picky. She appreciates initiative, but like everything else, she takes her time to decide whether she’s going to add something. She’s not here often, so Andrew kind of monopolizes her time when she is.”
Morgan nodded. “You sound like you like her.”
“She’s great,” Jan replied. “She was the person who hired me. She’s working on franchising or something now, so Elements won’t just be here anymore. I’m sure it’ll be great elsewhere, but Andrew is a fantastic chef. They’ll have a hard time having someone as good as him.”
“I’m sure there’s plenty of sous chefs looking for work in big cities,” Morgan said, cocking his head. “Is that what you want to do?”
Jan looked up at him, frowning. “What do you mean?”
> “You know, like… once you’re done with being a waiter,” Morgan replied.
Jan licked his lips and narrowed his eyes. “What do you mean once I’m done with being a waiter?”
Morgan swallowed. He knew he had said something wrong the moment the words had gone out of his mouth, but he didn’t realize just how offensive they were until Jan was speaking them back to him. “I didn’t mean it like that.”
“Then please tell me how you meant it,” Jan replied. “I would really like to know.”
“I don’t know,” Morgan said. “You just strike me as someone who can carry a conversation about anything. You seem educated, smart, put-together…”
“So, I couldn’t possibly want to be a waiter,” Jan said. “Is that it?”
“That’s not what I’m saying,” Morgan replied, waving his hands in front of his face. “I just mean, you’re… you can do better than that, that’s all.”
Jan scoffed again. “Wow,” he said. “Are you serious right now?”
“I don’t mean that it’s not a good job,” Morgan said. “I mean, you can do whatever you want—”
“—I know that,” Jan interrupted him.
Morgan chose to ignore what Jan had just said, though he could tell things had gone horribly wrong. He wished he could wind back the clock a few seconds. But he couldn’t, so the best he could do was apologize. “I’m sorry,” he said, his voice quiet and measured. “I didn’t mean anything by that.”
“You didn’t,” Jan repeated. It wasn’t a question and there was an edge in his voice that Morgan didn’t think he ever had heard before.
“No, I didn’t,” Morgan said.
“Okay,” Jan replied, crossing his arms over his chest. “So, explain. What did you mean, Morgan?”
“I just… I don’t know, okay? You just struck me as someone who is ambitious,” Morgan replied. He knew that his defense was weak, but he wasn’t sure what else he could say. “I didn’t think you aspired to be a waiter. I mean, I’m sorry for making that assumption, too. You can be anything you want to be!”