Undercover Lover

by Jerry Cole

  “That’s not what I said,” she had replied. “He really wants to adopt you, darling. He also wants what’s best for you. It would break his heart if you missed out on opportunities because he adopted you. Just give it some time. He can do it on your eighteenth birthday, you know.”

  Jan had smiled at her. “Do you think he would?”

  “Yes,” she had replied. “Of course he would.”

  She’d been telling the truth. He had expected that things maybe would change when he came out, but Trevor only had cocked his head and looked at his mother.

  “What?” Jan had said nervously. He hadn’t wanted to come out, but he thought Trevor should know the kind of son he was getting by adopting him.

  “It just makes sense,” Trevor had replied. “That’s all.”

  Then he had asked Jan how the rest of his day was and life had gone on as if his parents always had that information about him. The day that Jan turned eighteen, Trevor had submitted the adoption application to the judge. It had been the happiest day of Jan’s life.

  Going back to their apartment would have provided Jan instant access to these memories including the chair where Trevor used to sit after coming home from work, the little play area in the living room where no furniture was allowed because Riley needed it to play, and the space that Jan had carved for himself, with his books and his Walkman with the FM/AM capability and the tape that he had worn down so much it still skipped.

  He hadn’t realized how happy he had been. Not until everything had started going to shit.

  A notification sound coming from his phone suddenly interrupted his train of thought. He walked over to the nightstand where it was plugged into the charger on the wall and looked at the email that he just had received.

  “Congratulations,” he read it aloud, mostly because he couldn’t believe it. “Your application for an internship at FinaSoft Corporation has moved on to the next step, and you’re currently under consideration for a position here. Someone will call you in the next few days to set up an interview and decide your next steps. Thank you so much for applying to our internship.”

  Jan licked his lips. Any other day, he would have been glad things finally were moving along. After the night he had spent with Morgan, he wasn’t so sure. It was part of his job to get information from as many sources as possible, but everything about this was making him feel more and more uncertain.

  Jan wasn’t sure about a lot of things anymore.

  Chapter Nine

  Morgan walked into the office with a spring in his step. He had been getting used to the work. He found it easy enough, and he was adapting to the culture at the office with no problem. That wasn’t what was making him feel so good about things right then, though. It was how incredible his date with Jan had been. Normally, he would have been second guessing himself after a few hours, certainly the day after the date, but he was sure this time. Their date had been spectacular, except for his comment about waiters, which he wished that he could take back. He couldn’t, though, so he tried focusing on the parts of the night that had gone well. Jan seemed to have forgiven him anyway.

  He couldn’t help but focus on the parts at the end. He couldn’t think too much about that because this was his office, and the glass walls really didn’t leave that much room for privacy. He would have to wait until he got home. Maybe he would stop by and greet Jan on his way home from work, if that wasn’t going to be too much. He didn’t want to become clingy and a stalker when things were still in their very early stages. Plus, it wasn’t as if they already had agreed on a second date or anything. They had kind of talked about being exclusive—at least that was how Morgan had taken their little talk in the morning, but that just could have been pillow talk. There was a chance Jan hadn’t meant it, because as far as Morgan could tell, they were both still a little delirious—but they had yet to plan their second date.

  Morgan knew he needed to fix that as soon as possible. He just wasn’t sure exactly how. He could text Jan. He didn’t think that Jan would mind, since he was younger than Morgan, but it seemed weirdly impersonal to him and maybe even a little bit rude. Plus, if Jan wanted to turn him down, then Morgan thought he would prefer hearing his voice. He could call, but he worked right across the street from his office, and he probably was going to end up going to the restaurant at least at one point during the week. As he sat down and booted up his computer, he told himself that would definitely be the best option.

  His computer hadn’t even made the boot-up noise yet when Sam barged into his office. He was wearing a red hoodie and jeans that looked way too expensive to be as unfashionable as they were. Maybe Morgan would take him shopping one day.

  “Hey,” Sam said. “How did it go? You know, with the cute waiter?”

  Morgan laughed as his cheeks reddened. “I didn’t have any other dates. I knew who you were talking about.”

  “Well, I thought you might start trying to tell me about the rest of your weekend,” Sam replied, sitting down in one of the plastic chairs in front of him. Morgan wondered why they were there in the first place. His job wasn’t the kind where he would have taken visitors, or customers, and he didn’t think the person who used his office beforehand would have either. Sam didn’t seem to care, though, as he stretched out. The plastic made a noise under him and he giggled. It was hard for Morgan to believe that this man was older than him.

  When he didn’t say anything, Sam continued talking. “I mean, don’t get me wrong. I’m interested in the rest of your weekend. I’m just way more interested in that.”

  Morgan cocked his head and raised his eyebrows. “I wonder why.”

  “Hey, you can’t blame my friend for trying,” Sam said. “Jax says that you sound great. So, I’m only the messenger here. If your date didn’t go well, then, well…”

  “It went well,” Morgan replied, smiling. “Thank you for the positive vibes. It went really well, actually.”

  “Oh, are you going to see him again?”

  Morgan’s smile widened. “I mean, I certainly hope so.”

  “So you haven’t asked him?”

  “I haven’t asked him, no,” Morgan replied. “But I’m going to.”

  “So, Jax doesn’t have even have a chance, then?” Sam replied, twisting his lips.

  Morgan laughed, standing up and walking over to the front of his desk. He leaned back on it, watching Sam’s expression. “I can’t decide whether you trying this hard to set me up with your friend is cute or creepy.”

  “Cute,” Sam said. “Definitely cute, Morgan.”

  “Why does he like me so much, anyway?”

  Sam smiled. “I showed him your Facebook profile,” he replied. “He thinks you’re hot and interesting.”

  “That’s nice, Sam,” Morgan said. “I’m glad he likes me. But you’re not really selling me on this guy.”

  “I know! Because you’re all hung up on the waiter,” Sam said. “I mean, don’t get me wrong. I get it. Objectively, I get it. I’m not attracted to men, but I can see that the waiter is a very attractive man for anyone who may be into that.”

  “Yes,” Morgan replied, raising his eyebrows. “Well, I appreciate your approval of my tastes.”

  “You have excellent taste,” Sam said. “Which is the reason you would love Jax! You would just love him. He’s into hiking, kayaking and parachuting.”

  “He sounds outdoorsy,” Morgan replied. “I don’t know if I could keep up with someone outdoorsy.”

  “Aren’t you from Georgia?” Sam said. Then he tutted, shaking his head. “Seriously. You country boys are the hardest to please.”

  Morgan laughed. “I’m actually really not hard to please, Sam. I just want to share some interests with the person I go out with.”

  “Well, I’m not asking you to get married to him,” Sam replied. “I’m just asking you to meet him one time. I mean, this isn’t like me setting up a wedding or whatever. You’re going to have to meet him, and then you can decide whether you don’t
have any interests in common, right?”

  “I guess,” Morgan said. “To be honest with you, I wasn’t really planning on dating. What happened with Jan was just, ugh, I don’t know. I guess it just felt natural. He flirted with me and I asked him out. There was no one setting us up, nothing unnatural about it.”

  “So, what you’re saying is that it was fate,” Sam replied, cocking his head. “I guess I just didn’t really take you for the kind of man who believed in fate.”

  Morgan looked away from him. “I stopped believing in fate a long time ago, actually.”

  “So, go out with Jax,” Sam said. “Look, what do you have to lose but an afternoon? Even if you don’t like him as a potential partner, you don’t have to sleep with him or anything. He’s plugged into the gay scene in Danbury, too. So, he’s a particularly good person to get to know in that sense. Worse comes to worst, you make a friend. That doesn’t sound so bad, does it?”

  Morgan shrugged. “I guess not.”

  “It’s not like you’re in a relationship with the waiter or anything, right?”

  “He has a name. His name is Jan, Sam, it’s not the ‘waiter’,” Morgan replied. “And if it will get you off my back about this, then I guess I can go out with your friend. Just please, never mention it again. Unlike you, I actually have work to do.”

  Sam scoffed, rolling his eyes. “Oh, please. All you do is send me cat gifs through the internal chatting system.”

  “That’s work,” Morgan said, laughing. “Really. I need cat gifs to remain functional through the day. Programming is hard.”

  “Yeah,” Sam replied, rolling his eyes. “I can tell. So, you’ll do it?”

  “Yes, I’ll do it, but only because you’re my only friend in this city so far and you seem to really, really want me to go out with your friend,” Morgan said. “Which, by the way, could backfire massively. It could be horribly awkward or it could end badly and then we wouldn’t be able to even be in the same room at parties. You throw parties, don’t you?”

  “Sometimes,” Sam said. “Or maybe it could end in me being the planner for a beautiful wedding reception. You’re not giving Jax a chance. He’s nice, Morgan. He’s a city planner, super involved in the community and hilarious, too.”

  “Is he? And, you want to plan my wedding?”

  “Yup,” Sam replied. “He’s actually objectively good looking, too. And what can I say? I’ve always thought event planning was fun.”

  Sam took his phone out of his pocket, swiped his finger across the screen a few times and then started to type. Then he turned the screen to face Morgan. The photo on the screen was black and white, a man with striking features superimposed over a completely black background.

  “Well, you weren’t joking,” Morgan said.

  “I wasn’t,” Sam replied. “Trust me. He’ll be better for you than the… than Jan. I think maybe you’re just into him because he was the first person you were interested in when you were here.”

  “Maybe,” Morgan said. He didn’t think that was the case, but he was done talking to Sam. He did need him to leave so he could get started with his work. It wasn’t that he didn’t appreciate the gesture, but he did like Jan. On the other hand, Sam was right. A date was just a date. It didn’t mean anything except meeting someone for a few drinks.

  Nothing had to happen. And he always could do with more friends.

  “Now go,” Morgan finally said. “Unless you’re going to tell me about a super-hot date you had yourself.”

  “Yeah, my wife managed to put the kids to sleep at, like, eight thirty on Saturday,” Sam said, closing his eyes and smiling. “Best night of my life.”

  “Did you…”

  “Sleep,” Sam replied. “We slept. It was so good.”

  “Marriage sounds terrible,” Morgan replied, laughing and shaking his head.

  “Sometimes,” Sam said, smiling back at him. “But most of the time, it’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”

  ***

  Morgan hadn’t meant to go back to Elements on Monday, but he couldn’t help that they were the only restaurant around the office that knew what they were doing when it came to pasta. Sitting at his computer and working on code always made him hungry. It was a good thing there was a gym inside his building, otherwise he would have felt a lot guiltier about going out for food so often. There was also the fact he wanted to see Jan, which Sam was quick to call him out on. “Yo,” he said as he saw him leaving the building. “If you’re going to Elements, you should know that I already got in touch with Jax.”

  “Of course you did,” Morgan had replied, shaking his head and rolling his eyes. He had called the elevator and looked at his phone, wondering when he would hear from Sam’s mysterious best friend. He couldn’t exactly turn him down, he just hoped it wouldn’t be soon. He still had to wrap his head around his date with Jan. He couldn’t imagine having to think about a date with someone else.

  He called the elevator again and waited impatiently until it arrived. By the time it stopped at the lobby, Morgan had to tell himself not to sprint all the way to Elements. He wanted to keep at least a modicum of his dignity, even though he couldn’t help but want to see Jan again. Jan hadn’t texted him or gotten in touch with him in any way since the night before, when he had texted him a simple ‘thank you’ with a smiley face and a heart emoticon. Morgan wasn’t versed in emoticon language enough to figure out what it meant, so he needed to talk to him face to face. Not that he would ask him to translate emoticon into English.

  When he got to Elements, he slowed his pace down and looked down at his phone. If he had wanted his order to be done quickly, he would have ordered online, but he didn’t. If Jan wasn’t there, nothing would happen. But if he was, Morgan could at least talk to him, find out where his head was and ask him out again. Maybe this time, he would ask him to go somewhere a little different. There was an aquarium that had been highly recommended by most of the people he knew. There were also some national parks around, but Morgan hadn’t asked Jan how much he liked nature. He had said he was raised in New York City, so he was probably not super into the outdoors. That suited Morgan just fine. He had had quite enough of the outdoors when he had been a teenager. His father had taken him hunting every other weekend. Every now and then, he would bring a ‘friend’ along. When it became obvious that his ‘friend’ was actually a boyfriend, his father would tease him relentlessly when they got home. It was always good-natured and Morgan had to admit he quite liked seeing his seemingly endless parade of squeamish boyfriends try to learn how to hold a rifle and shoot down a pigeon from the sky.

  He wondered what his father would think of Jan. He had liked David, but that felt like it had been so long ago.

  He told himself to stop thinking about that as he went into the restaurant. He looked around for Jan, but before he could spot him a waitress with a high ponytail, brown hair and bright black eyes greeted him. “How can I help you, sir? Will you be dining in?”

  “Not today,” he replied. “I have a lot of work to do.”

  “Sure,” she said. “You can place a to-go order at the bar.”

  “Thank you,” Morgan said. He cleared his throat before he spoke again. “Is Jan here today?”

  “Jan? No,” she replied. “Oh, you’re his friend!”

  Morgan nodded. He hated when people called the person he was sleeping with ‘his friend’, but what else could she possibly call him? It wasn’t as though things were serious between them.

  “His shift isn’t for another couple of hours,” she said. “Though he told me that he may need to have someone come in and cover for him today.”

  Morgan cocked his head. “Why? Is he okay?”

  “Oh, yeah, he’s fine,” she said. “You know that position he’s going for? That internship at FinaSoft Corporation?”

  She said it as though it was obvious Morgan knew what she was talking about. It would have been stupid to stop her. She clearly thought Jan and Morgan were a l
ot closer than they were. Part of Morgan loved that, since it meant Jan already had spoken about him to this woman. He looked down at her name tag, memorizing her name for later. He would have to tell Jan that he had run into Nicole at the restaurant, he told himself. He vaguely remembered Jan talking about her during their date.

  He raised his eyebrows. “Remind me?”

  “You know, that really prestigious internship that only, like, five people get every year and looks really good on your resume?”

  “Oh,” Morgan said, nodding. He had no idea what Nicole was talking about. “Of course.”

  “Anyway, apparently the interview has a bunch of brainteasers and hard questions,” she said. “It’s probably going to be really difficult. Now, don’t get me wrong, Jan is smart. But he isn’t the most educated person in the world and the fact they even selected him to get this far is a huge honor. So, I texted Ted to come and maybe cover for him today.”

  “Yeah,” Morgan replied. “Yeah, that makes sense.”

  He didn’t want to talk to Nicole anymore. He wondered why Jan hadn’t told Morgan about the internship. On the other hand, he probably had offended him during their date. Maybe Jan wasn’t who he said he was, though, and that scared Morgan because he already had become so invested after just one date.

  “Do you want me to tell him you came looking for him?”

  “Nah,” Morgan replied, shaking his head. “Don’t worry about it.”

  With that, he walked to the bar and looked down at his phone again. He had to tell Jan about this, but he wasn’t sure exactly how. Plus, he wasn’t sure exactly what to say. It wasn’t a bad secret to keep. That, and Jan had every right to keep things from Morgan.

  They weren’t exclusive or anything of the sort. They were barely even friends. All that had happened between them was that they had gone on a date and then they had fooled around. Jan didn’t owe him anything. For some strange reason, Morgan just had expected Jan to want to be honest and open with him, but Jan was a stranger.

  A cute stranger, but just a stranger all the same.