by Jerry Cole
Jan shook his head. “Why not? I… I want to cum in your mouth.”
Morgan smiled at him. “And you’re totally going to get to do that, as many times as you want, but I wanted to…”
Jan smiled back at him, his eyes glimmering. “Did you want to fuck me?”
“Yes,” Morgan said. “I really, really want to fuck you. But if you top, I can…”
“I’m versatile,” Jan replied. “And you can do anything you want to me. I want you to do anything you want to me. I want to feel you inside of me. I want to fill you up and pull your hair and cum inside of you. If you want me to, obviously. If you just top, then that’s fine. I’m happy with that.”
Morgan swallowed. Jan seemed to notice, so he cocked his head and stared before he spoke. “Hey, you okay?”
“Yeah,” Morgan said. “It’s so dumb. I’m versatile, too.”
Jan bit his lower lip and smiled at him.
“You’re just… you’re perfect,” Morgan said. “It’s kind of overwhelming.”
Jan laughed. “So, does that mean you’re going to fuck me?”
“Yes,” Morgan said. “I’m definitely going to fuck you. Stay here a second, okay? Don’t go anywhere.”
Jan looked around. There was nothing surrounding them but wilderness, and, of course, the car. It seemed to amuse him. “Where am I going to go?”
“I don’t know,” Morgan said. “Stay here, though. Can you touch yourself while I run to the car?”
“I told you I was really close,” Jan said between sharp breaths but moving his hand toward his crotch.
“I know,” Morgan replied, kissing him on the mouth, then moving away from him. “But you’re not going to cum until I’m inside you, are you?”
Jan’s eyes widened and he shook his head. “At least take your shirt off so I can watch your back as you run away. I mean, that’s only fair.”
“You’re right,” Morgan said. “It’s only fair.”
He peeled off his shirt and threw it at Jan, which made Jan laugh. Then he got to his feet and started to run toward his car, stopping every now and then to glance back at the outline of Jan’s body. He was doing what Morgan had said, slowly stroking himself. Since it was so dark, Morgan couldn’t see him that well, but he could make out the outline of his body as he jerked himself off, the only sounds in the field being Jan’s sharp breathing and Morgan’s own footsteps on the grass. He turned around again right as he was about to open the car door, just so he could look at Jan touching himself again. Morgan thought he looked so gorgeous then, part of him wanting to stay there and watch him finish himself off. There was something so pure and real and hot about watching Jan like this that he could feel himself get harder just by being there and contemplating the idea. But his cock also was twitching in anticipation and he could watch Jan some other time. Jan had told him he wouldn’t cum, and Morgan believed him.
He popped open the glove box and grabbed the bottle of lube and the condoms that he always kept stashed in his car. He took a deep breath, trying to steady himself as the reality of what he was about to do settled in. He had hooked up with countless guys, but it had been a long time since he had been with someone he genuinely cared about. Despite how little time he had known Jan for, Morgan could tell he already was falling for him. He couldn’t help himself. Jan was so cute and smart, not to mention interesting and funny. He seemed to want the same thing that Morgan wanted, too. So, being with him for the first time, he expected that was going to be a big deal. Part of him couldn’t wait, but part of him was a little bit scared. He stood there, thinking about that, until he heard Jan’s voice.
“What’s taking so long?”
Morgan smiled. “I’ll be right there.”
He walked briskly back to where Jan was. As he approached him, Morgan could start to see the definition of the muscles on his arms. Jan still was stroking himself, his head tilted back and his mouth open. His eyes were closed. He only opened them when he heard Morgan approaching, furrowing his brow when he set his gaze on Morgan’s face.
“I think you’re trying to kill me,” he said.
“A little,” Morgan replied, winking at him. “Mostly it was just me being selfish. I love watching you.”
“I’ll give you a show some other time,” Jan said. “Any other time. Can you please fuck me now?”
“I need to make sure you’re ready first,” Morgan replied. He grabbed the bottle of lube, untwisted the cap and covered his fingers in it. He started to jack Jan off again, slowly at first, then speeding up, his free hand holding down the base of his partner’s incredibly hard cock. Jan’s breathing quickened even more. Once his dick was covered in pre-cum and he was moaning and gasping for breath Morgan moved down so he was in between Jan’s legs. He stroked the sensitive hair between Jan’s butt cheeks then his finger found Jan’s hole.
He took his time to finger him, though Jan was eager and kept moving his hips back and forth, trying to fuck himself with Morgan’s finger, his breathing ragged and his eyes closed.
“Slow down,” Morgan said when he felt his cock twitch. “I’m going to cum just watching you right now.”
“You’re not allowed to do that. I told you I’d give you a show some other time,” Jan replied. “You have to fuck me first.”
“Okay,” Morgan said. “You convinced me. Bend your knees and come down here.”
Jan did as he was told, giving Morgan access to his ass as he held his bent knees almost up to his chest. As quickly as he could, Morgan kicked off his shoes, stepped out of his jeans, tore open the condom wrapper and put it on himself as he watched Jan’s ass, his cock throbbing and his head swimming. Overwhelmed with desire, he moaned as he pushed his hardened cock inside Jan’s tight hole.
“Oh my God,” he heard Jan say under him.
Morgan gave them both a second. He knew if he started thrusting right then, he would cum immediately and he wanted to give Jan the orgasm that he so obviously craved and deserved. He kissed Jan on the mouth, sweetly and tenderly, his lips soft and warm against Jan’s own. Then Jan wrapped his arms around him and opened his mouth to let his tongue in and Morgan couldn’t hold back anymore.
He tried to pace himself at first, thrusting deeply every few seconds, which made Jan moan and dig his fingernails into Morgan’s skin.
“Do you want me to jack you off while you cum?” Morgan said.
Jan’s eyes fluttered open and he nodded ever-so-slightly, almost imperceptibly.
“Okay,” Morgan said breathlessly. “Okay.”
He moved down so he was kneeling up between Jan’s legs instead of being on top of him. He grabbed Jan’s cock and firmly tugged at as he thrust his hips back and forth until Jan was telling him he was going to cum. Morgan was screaming something back, but he wasn’t sure what it was exactly. Jan came before him, only milliseconds before, his cum getting all over his own chest and stomach, and getting some on Morgan’s skin. The way his body was moving under Morgan’s, the way he looked when he was having an orgasm, it was too much. Soon Morgan was cumming, too, his legs shaking as he emptied himself into Jan’s ass.
Jan watched him, licking his lips with his eyes half-open. He moaned the word yes over and over until Morgan was done, until Morgan rolled off him and held him close. They both were sticky with sweat and other things, and even though the night was cold, Morgan was hot and he could tell Jan was hot, too.
His arms were wrapped around Jan’s body. They were cuddled up close.
“One second,” Morgan said. He took off the condom, wrapped it up in a knot and put it somewhere on the blanket. He would get it later. Once he was done with that, Jan scooted so he was closer to Morgan, so soon it felt like their entire bodies were touching.
Jan sighed. “That was amazing.”
“Yeah,” Morgan replied, speaking into the crook of his neck. “I’m glad you thought so, too.”
“Mmm. Do you think we could sleep here?”
“I think we’d get cold,” Morgan repli
ed. “Though we always can sleep in the car, if you want.”
Jan shook his head. “No,” he said. “Then we wouldn’t be so close to each other.”
“True,” Morgan said, smiling. The idea of not being close to Jan right now didn’t just seem silly, it seemed downright wrong. “You know, I have a perfectly serviceable bed. You always can stay at my place when we go back to the city.”
Jan was quiet for a few seconds. When he spoke, his voice sounded strange, though Morgan wasn’t sure how to pin it down. “You sure you wouldn’t mind?”
“Mind?” Morgan replied, his eyes widening. “Roll over. I want to look at your face.”
Jan took a few seconds to do it, but when he did, his face was so close to Morgan’s own face that he had to do everything in his power not to kiss him right then and there.
“I want you to stay at my place whenever you want,” Morgan said. “Seriously, you told me you hated your roommate. And I told you that I was serious about this and I am. If you get that internship, and I told you I would put in a good word for you, then it would only make sense for you to stay at my place. My bed is too big for me.”
“So, you want me in it?”
“Yes,” Morgan replied as he played with a strand of Jan’s hair. “I definitely want you in it. I don’t just want you in it, I need you in it. I mean, think about it. Do you believe in fate?”
Jan didn’t say anything for a minute, closing his eyes. “I don’t know.”
“I don’t,” Morgan said. “I know it sounds kind of stupid. Or maybe I just didn’t. Then I came here, and I met you, and it makes perfect sense, don’t you think? You want to start working at FinaSoft, and I want you to be around all the time. I mean, I didn’t believe in fate before, but this fits, doesn’t it?”
Jan bit his lower lip and looked down. “Yeah,” he said. “I guess it does.”
“I don’t want to put too much on you,” Morgan said. “I know this is new and I know that you’re young. So, for now, how about I give you some keys?”
“You know, if you don’t want to put too much on me, you probably shouldn’t give me the keys to your house on our second date.”
Morgan smiled. “But I’m not giving you them. All I’m doing is offering you my keys, which you are free to take. Or decline. It’s your decision.”
Jan sighed. “I want this, Morgan. I do.”
Morgan cocked his head. “It doesn’t sound like you want it.”
“I do,” Jan said. “I want what you want. I want to settle down, too, but you don’t understand the amount of baggage I come with. If I was just a normal person, I would take your keys in an instant. But I’m not.”
Morgan kept playing with his hair. He frowned when he spoke. “What do you mean you’re not a normal person?”
“I’m not… I’m just a realist, okay? I don’t make the same amount of money as you do, which could be a problem later. You know, potentially,” Jan replied. “Plus, I’m basically an orphan, and I have a little brother who’s probably always going to depend on me. I have so many issues, they could fill in a whole book.”
“Whatever,” Morgan said, shrugging. “I’m a gay man literally afraid of closets. We all have our things.”
Jan laughed. “Yours doesn’t seem that bad. Comparatively.”
Morgan smiled at him. “I get it. I don’t mind taking it slow.”
“It’s not about that,” Jan replied. “I kind of love the pace we’re going at right now. I’m just worried that—well, this is kind of dumb, but I guess I’m just worried that it’s going to turn out that I’m not good enough for you.”
“But that’s ridiculous,” Morgan replied. “You’re amazing.”
“You don’t know that, though, do you?” Jan said. “All you know about me is what I choose to tell you. So, I’m choosing to be as honest as possible. I’m telling you the truth, at least as much as I can.”
“I don’t see it like that. I see that you’re amazing, and I think I’m scaring you.”
“You’re not scaring me,” Jan said. “I’m just worried I’m going to fall short of your expectations, I guess.”
“You have no reason to worry,” Morgan replied. “I know I can come across as intense, but I’m a reasonable man. Seriously. Anything you have going on, we can tackle it. I want to tackle it. Together.”
Jan sighed. “I don’t know if you’re always going to feel like that.”
“Well,” Morgan replied. “Isn’t that for me to decide?”
“I guess,” Jan said. “We should put some clothes on. We’re going to miss the meteor shower.”
“Okay,” Morgan said. “That sounds good to me.”
Chapter Fourteen
They watched the meteor shower bundled up together, wearing their jackets and another blanket around their shoulders. They were there until very late, though Jan kept asking Morgan if it was okay that they hadn’t gone home yet.
“It’s fine,” Morgan said. “I promise.”
“But you have work in the morning,” Jan replied, shaking his head.
Morgan smiled. “You’re protective, aren’t you?”
“I just don’t want you to do poorly at work because I decided to ask you out on a Sunday night,” Jan replied.
Morgan laughed, which just made Jan feel worse. The sex had been so good, and he was having so much fun, it was easy for him to forget about where Morgan worked, about his own job and the stupid internship. Being with Morgan made him forget everything. Even the fact that it wasn’t fate. That made Jan feel even worse, because Morgan seemed to be so into him and Jan hadn’t managed to persuade him about how wrong he was. Morgan wanted to like him and Jan couldn’t help but like him back. A lot more than he was expecting, which made pushing him away, or at least keeping him at arm’s length, harder. Jan did need the job, he wasn’t sure exactly how he was supposed to put this entire position on his resume, and he couldn’t exactly leave New York behind. Even if his interest in Morgan was pure, and he also wanted to start a family, which he wasn’t totally opposed to, he couldn’t exactly do it in Danbury. He also didn’t think—no, he knew Morgan wouldn’t be interested once he knew who Jan actually was. He had tried to be as open as possible, with the limitations that he had, but it still was not enough. Morgan had turned out to be disarmingly charming and honest about what he wanted, something that Jan hadn’t been ready for.
Morgan wasn’t just someone hot, he was someone Jan could see himself with for the long run. If the circumstances had been different. But the circumstances weren’t different, they were what they were, and there was nothing Jan could do about that.
“I’m glad you did ask me to come out with you tonight,” Morgan finally said. “I’ve been thinking about you a lot through the week.”
Jan swallowed. “I hope it was nothing bad.”
“It was only bad because I wanted to stop thinking about you,” Morgan said. “The idea of that is honestly pretty torturous.”
Jan laughed. “Has anyone told you that your vocabulary is hot?”
“You’re such a nerd,” Morgan replied.
“Just because I think that your vocabulary is hot?”
“Because that’s what you think is hot,” Morgan said. “Out of everything about me, that’s what you choose to compliment.”
“Well, there are a lot of things about you that I like,” Jan said, smiling. “Your vocabulary is just up there, you know, pretty close to the top.”
“Oh, well, how many other things do you like about me?” Morgan said, smiling back at him.
“Oh, you want me to list them? Um, okay,” Jan replied. “But then we’ll never get out of here. So, first of all, you obviously…”
Morgan laughed, shaking his head. “I don’t actually want you to list them. Though I appreciate the idea.”
“So, you don’t want to know?”
Morgan wrinkled his nose, then kissed him on the top of the head. “I’m sure you’re going to tell me,” he replied. “You know. Through
the years.”
Jan tilted his head up to say something back to him, but Morgan kissed the tip of his nose. It made his heart leap in his chest and it also made him stop talking. He shut his mouth and tried to enjoy the present.
Because at least he had that.
***
Jan spent the night in Morgan’s bed. Well, it wasn’t really the night, it was more like the last few hours before the morning. They both were exhausted by the time they had arrived back in the city, though Morgan was more tired than him. That was obvious because he had to keep the car window rolled down when he was driving them back to the city and he barely had stumbled onto bed when his eyes already were closed and he was breathing deeply. Jan had taken his shoes off, then he had coaxed him into getting ready for bed while he stripped. He slept in his boxers, but he only managed to get to sleep once Morgan had brushed his teeth and had gone back to bed, wearing nothing but a pair of green cotton pants. Jan loved when Morgan wrapped himself around him, they seemed to fit in perfectly together. Morgan was warm and soft, and being in his arms made Jan feel more comfortable and safe than he ever had before. Ever.
He had never minded sleeping alone. He never understood his friends when they bitched about it, though he guessed it made sense when one of their relationships just had fallen apart. Personally, though, Jan always got over it quickly. He always liked sleeping alone, he liked the space, he liked that he wouldn’t get too warm, and he didn’t think cuddling with someone was worth sacrificing all his comfort. That was until he started cuddling with Morgan. Everything seemed to have changed then. He understood why his friends had been so upset, why this had been important to them. The thought that he might ever lose it—or rather, that he was going to lose it, unless he did something to change his situation, stat—made him feel sick to his stomach. Jan only managed to fall asleep when he listened to Morgan’s deepened breathing, when he finally allowed himself to get lost in the scent of Morgan’s bed and in the way that his arms felt when they were wrapped around him.
When he fell asleep, he was pretty sure it was with a smile on his face.