by Jerry Cole
The handjob started off slowly, Morgan’s long fingers firmly gripping Jan’s dick and moving up and down. Morgan watched Jan’s face as he did it, and Jan looked back at him, sure that he looked ridiculous, but not caring that much. When Morgan sped up, keeping the rhythm steady, but a little faster, Jan couldn’t help but close his eyes. Morgan seemed to take this as permission for going even faster, and soon Jan was feeling himself get closer and closer to orgasm. He wanted to say something, he wanted to warn Morgan about it, but he couldn’t do anything. He found himself unable to speak, his lips dry and his tongue stuck to the roof of his mouth. Soon he was emptying the content of his balls into the blanket, his legs shaking, and Morgan looking right at him. It felt like Jan’s orgasm lasted forever, but once he was done he kissed Morgan on the lips.
“Do you see what I mean?” Morgan asked.
Jan nodded. “I think you like me.”
“I don’t just like you, Jan,” Morgan said.
Jan’s heart leaped in his chest. There was still a blanket over his legs, which was good, because his pants still were pulled down his legs and his now soft cock was covered in his own cum. He was just glad it wasn’t on his clothes. At least not yet. “What do you mean?”
Morgan swallowed, looking away from him. “Clean yourself up,” he said. “We can talk about it later.”
“How am I supposed to do that?”
“Use the blanket, I guess,” Morgan replied. “I can stick it in the laundry when we get home. Or maybe I can do it at my parents’ place when we’re there, if my mom doesn’t insist on doing our laundry. She’s incredibly helpful. Far too helpful.”
Jan laughed. “If they knew what you’re like—”
“They would be very proud of me,” Morgan replied, wrinkling his nose. “My family always has prided themselves on how masculine our men are.”
“You’ll hear no argument from me,” Jan said. “I’ve always been into masculine men.”
Morgan tutted, shaking his head. “You’re making me feel like I’m not special at all,” he said.
“You’re very special,” Jan replied. He opened his mouth to say what he wanted to say, but it didn’t seem right, not yet, not there. There was something exhilarating about the situation they were in, but it wasn’t very romantic. Jan wanted to tell Morgan how he felt, but in front of a tinted dusk sky, not in a plane where Morgan just had given him a spontaneous handjob. Not that he minded at all. He loved it. He loved everything about this. Most of all, he loved Morgan. He was sure of it. He never had been so sure of anything else in his life.
He just couldn’t tell him that quite yet.
***
They didn’t arrive at Perryville because Perryville was far too small to have an airport. Instead, they arrived at Atlanta International Airport and had to drive about an hour to get to the house where Morgan had grown up. Jan slept most of the way there, which was just as well, since Morgan was feeling more and more nervous by the minute, and he wasn’t in the mood to entertain Jan. Not that he didn’t like talking to his boyfriend—partner—or whatever he was. It was just that he still worried about what his parents would say. Jan had said they would like him, and Morgan wanted to believe him, but he couldn’t help but be nervous, mostly because he knew exactly what he wanted with Jan, and he had barely spoken to his parents about it.
Sure, they knew he was dating someone. After they had come back from their cruise in the Caribbean, Morgan had spent a couple of hours catching up with his mother, mostly telling her about this wonderful new guy he was dating. As always, she was incredibly interested. That said, they had known David very well before David and Morgan even had started talking about getting engaged. They didn’t know that was the purpose of the trip, but then again, neither did Jan. It was all still in its early stages and if, for some reason, his parents ended up disapproving, then Morgan would have no problem stopping his plan or, at the very least, slowing it down. He understood that things had happened quickly, far too quickly, between the two of them. They were weird and complicated and still needed to be sorted out. But they still seemed perfect, even in the worst of times, and Morgan wanted to keep Jan in his life for as long as possible.
Part of doing that was making sure Jan got to meet his family. He glanced at Jan when he got to a stop sign. He was wearing an oversized gray knitted sweater that he had fished out of his luggage the moment he had received it and his best pair of jeans. Now Morgan understood how it was possible that Jan could afford quality clothes and things, though he seemed to save them for very special occasions. These were his most impressive casual clothes and Morgan appreciated the effort.
When he was about fifteen minutes from town, he called his mother to tell her they were almost there. Jan said hello and they talked for a minute over the car radio’s speakers, Jan looking at him as he did so, his eyes shining.
Once they hung up, Morgan looked at him, a smile on his face. “I think she likes you.”
Jan smiled back at him. “I certainly hope so,” Jan replied. “I really want your parents to like me.”
“You’re a nice guy,” Morgan said, wrinkling his nose. “I’m sure they’re going to love you.”
“See, you keep saying that,” Jan said. “But I feel like even you are worried about it.”
Morgan chuckled quietly. “It’s really weird that we’ve known each other for what, a few months, and it already feels like you know me more than people I’ve known forever.”
“Weird in a good way or in a bad way?”
“In a good way,” Morgan replied. “It feels like we’ve been together for years, but like, in the best of ways.”
“Yeah,” Jan said, putting his hand on Morgan’s. “I agree with that. It’s really weird to think that you haven’t ever been in my life before. It almost feels as though we went to school together, or something like that.”
“It does,” Morgan replied, then he bit his lower lip. “A couple of my high school friends actually still live here. One of them is a manager at the local music store—”
“Your town still has a music store?”
“He may pop in to say hello,” Morgan replied. “He has adorable twin girls. And yes, not every place can be like New York City or like freaking Danbury.”
“Hey, I only asked because I was interested in checking it out,” Jan said. Then he sighed contentedly. “Can I tell you something?”
“Sure, sweetheart,” Morgan replied. “You can tell me anything. I mean, you’re my boyfriend, after all. Right?”
Jan smacked him playfully on the arm and they both chuckled quietly.
“Listen,” Jan said, looking straight at him. Morgan wanted to look back, but he had to keep his eyes on the road. “When we first started dating, before I told you about what I was doing for work, I kind of mentioned that I had this file on you. You dismissed that. It didn’t seem important to you, and I totally appreciated that. You came back to me after everything, and I feel like, if anything, that was the biggest betrayal of your trust.”
Morgan felt the corners of his mouth twitch as he resisted smiling. “Well, you told me,” he said. “It’s not really a betrayal of trust. Unless you used it to get me to like you.”
“Not really,” Jan replied, shaking his head. “Though I wish I had known that was an option in the first place. Like, maybe I could have told you that I was also really good at math.”
“I didn’t know economists were good at math,” Morgan replied.
“Some of us are,” Jan said. “I’m really good at it. Of course, loose math kills me.”
“Loose math?”
“That’s my own special, made-up term,” Jan replied. “It has to be surrounded by data.”
“You’re so sexy,” Morgan said, biting his lower lip.
“Oh my God, shut up,” Jan said, rolling his eyes and shaking his head. “How did I end up with such a nerd?”
“You like nerds. Obviously,” Morgan replied, shaking his head. “Sorry. Keep going.”
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Jan cleared his throat. “I’m serious about this, Morgan,” he said, his voice quiet. “I mean, I love flirting with you, and messing around with you, and just being around you in general. But I’m serious about this. When I told Riley that you had decided to stick with me, that you had decided to forgive me for what I had done to you, he couldn’t believe me. And honestly, I could hardly believe it myself—”
“But you had your reasons,” Morgan said. Jan seemed so upset that Morgan considered pulling over just so he could hug him and reassure him. “I mean, taking care of your mom is a pretty important and noble thing to do. I think you were stuck between a rock and a hard place, and you did the best thing you could do when faced with the circumstances that you were.”
Jan sighed and moved his head back and forth and from side to side, as though he wanted to crack his neck. “So anyway, I told you and I still had some doubts, because this was fast and scary, and then you kind of just made me feel better about everything just by being there. I’ve had relationships before, Morgan, but I’ve never had anything like that happen to me. Nothing that has ever made me feel so certain or, I don’t know, good or even like I’m a real person. I know this sounds really weird, but being around you makes me feel like the way I thought I always was supposed to be feeling.”
“That’s…. thank you,” Morgan said. Then he took a deep breath. “There’s something that I need to tell you, too, Jan.”
“Wait,” Jan replied, his voice close to breaking. “I haven’t finished telling you what I’m trying to tell you. I’m not trying to ramble. It’s just that, believe it or not, I’ve never ever done this before, and I’m absolutely not sure how to go about this.”
Morgan glanced at him, furrowing his brow. “You’ve never done what? Met your boyfriend’s family?”
“No, I’ve done that,” Jan said, laughing quietly. “Remember? I told you about that prep school kid.”
Morgan nodded. “Right. Landon. The cute one who made you come out to your own family.”
“Yeah,” Jan replied. “In a roundabout way. But that’s what I mean. There were others after him, so many others, but I never—I haven’t said anything like this to any one of them at any point because I haven’t ever felt it. I didn’t even know what it was at first. Like, I wasn’t even sure if what I was feeling was real. I have done a lot of thinking, and I realize that if I had been with anyone else, I definitely would not be okay with how fast this is going. But what you’ve done—you’re amazing. You showed me what it meant to be kind because I don’t know if I would have been able to forgive you if you had done what I did, regardless of what had propelled you to do it. I know this is kind of apropos of nothing, but I want you to know that I deleted the file about you a few hours after we had that conversation.”
“That’s nice,” Morgan replied, then shrugged his shoulders. This seemed to have been weighing heavily on Jan’s mind, but he didn’t really care about it. “I mean, I get it. But everyone creeps on the people they want to date anyway, and we all have our little files or whatever, even if we keep them in our head. Yours just happened to be more official.”
“See?” Jan said. “This is exactly what I mean. When it comes to me, you choose to see a good thing. Even when it may not necessarily be a good thing. And that makes me feel like I should be a better person and—I don’t know. It makes me feel a lot of things, about who I am, about who I want to be.”
“That’s really sweet,” Morgan replied. “Are you okay, though? I feel like you’re about to burst into tears, and talking like this about your feelings doesn’t really feel like it’s your style.”
Jan chuckled dryly, shaking his head. “You’re right, this isn’t really my style. I’m just, I’m trying to get around to something, but getting to it is weird and intimidating, and a lot harder than I thought it would be. I just want to do it before we get to your parents’ house,” he said, looking down and then laughing a little more deeply. “Honestly, I wanted to do it on the plane, but I forgot about how much you hate small spaces. Then you told me to talk to you and I freaked out. I wanted to talk to you about this, but instead I ended up telling you the gruesome tale of how Trevor ended up dying.”
“Hey, if it makes you feel any better, it really did calm me down,” Morgan said.
“It only makes me feel a little better,” Jan said. “Because I wanted—I needed to tell you this somewhere that isn’t your parents’ place. I need to tell you it now.”
“Will you?” Morgan said, smiling at him.
“Yes,” Jan said. “And I’m really sorry it’s not more romantic, but I have to tell you now. I can’t wait anymore. I love you.”
Morgan almost slammed on the brakes when he heard Jan’s words. He should have been expecting it, but he was too distracted by the road, even by Jan’s words.
“I’m sorry,” Jan said. “I know I shouldn’t have told you like this, but I couldn’t wait anymore. First, the whole work thing happened. Then Riley was around. And I know, I know it’s really fast and everything, but we’ve been going so fast that I already know this is the case. I know it, Morgan, I can feel it in my bones. I can feel it everywhere, all over my body. And I know that sounds overly dramatic, but I’m just…”
“Hold on. Stop talking for a second. I want to be able to discuss this when I can look at you.” The idea that there had been this much build-up just for Jan to tell Morgan that he loved him also reminded him that he hadn’t even said those words to Jan yet, and he was already about to take a much bigger step. He looked in the rear-view mirror, then checked his blind spot and merged into the left lane. Then he took a left onto a small country road that could have led anywhere. He pulled to the side, parking on the grass, then turned to face Jan, who was staring at him, his mouth a thin line.
Morgan looked down at his lips, then back up at his multicolored eyes once more. “Can you say that again?”
Morgan could see Jan’s throat work as he swallowed. “Sure,” he said. “I… I love you. I know it’s fast, you don’t have to say it back, I needed to—”
“I love you, too,” Morgan said. “I love you so much.”
He pressed his lips up against Jan’s, kissing him softly, sweetly, tenderly. Their lips lingered against each other’s, their eyes closed, Morgan’s hand on Jan’s face. Then he broke off the kiss and smiled at him. Jan looked at him, his eyes now wide, and leaned into his touch. “You do?”
“Everything that you said about me,” Morgan replied. “That’s how I feel about you. Maybe except for the spying stuff, but that’s exactly how you make me feel. And this is so stupid but I—”
“What?”
“I kind of already thought that you knew I was in love with you,” Morgan said. “So, it never occurred to me to even say it. I’m sorry for that.”
Jan shook his head, his mouth still open and his gaze shooting toward Morgan’s lips again. “Don’t be.”
Before he knew it, Jan’s kiss turned from a sweet one to a passionate one, and soon their tongues were wrestling against each other. Jan moved away from him for a second, looked out the window and then, before Morgan had enough time to process what Jan was doing, Jan had clicked off his seatbelt and was on top of him, straddling him as they made out.
“We’re gonna be late,” Morgan said breathlessly.
“We don’t have to do anything,” Jan replied just as breathlessly as he gyrated his hips on top of Morgan. “I just—you’re irresistible, okay? And that, that’s the hottest thing you’ve ever said to me.”
“What? That I love you?”
“Yes,” Jan said, kissing Morgan’s neck. “Yes, that. Say it again and we’re going to have to fuck right here and now.”
“I love you, Jan,” Morgan said. It made Jan moan, which in turn made Morgan laugh. “I love you so fucking much. You have no idea. I want to show you how much I love you in every way, in every place possible.”
Jan started to quicken his pace, now able to feel Morgan’s erection even
through the heavy denim fabric of both of their jeans.
“But we’re going to be late,” Morgan said as Jan nibbled on an earlobe. “And as much as I want to do this, I also really don’t want to be late. If we hadn’t called her…”
Jan swallowed. Morgan knew Jan wanted to make a good impression on his parents, but Morgan was completely irresistible, the idea of which was silly in and of itself. “Fine,” he said, getting off and getting to the passenger seat again. “But just so you know, I’m mad.”
“How mad?” Morgan said, smiling at him and biting his lower lip, his heart beating in his chest. “Mad enough to spank me?”
Jan opened his mouth then shook his head. “You know what? I take it all back. Every single word.”
“We can talk about it when we get to my house,” Morgan said, putting the car in gear again. “Where, again, I still have a perfectly good bed.”
“You and your beds,” Jan said. “I’m starting to think you prefer them over me.”
“No,” Morgan replied. “I just like it better when we’re both there.”
Chapter Thirty-Nine
Jan had assumed Morgan came from a relatively wealthy family, because of his expensive taste and the universities that he had attended, but he hadn’t expected the mansion they were pulling up to. It was a colonial two-story home with an American flag on the porch and a brick façade. The roof was held up by tall white columns, and two rocking chairs were sitting near the double-wide doors that made up the entrance. Jan only ever had seen houses like this in movies.
“Wow,” he said. “This is…”
“Creepy, I know,” Morgan said. “The thing is, my parents come from money. Both of them. They work, don’t get me wrong, but my granddad used to be the mayor of the town back in the day and, yeah, they became well-known. I think it was one of the reasons why I was left alone for being gay in a town this small. I was protected because of my parents’ prestige.”