“I’m sorry, Addie,” he whispers before releasing the strap across my neck. “Can you stand?” he asks. The pain I feel is reflected in his eyes. He places a hand on the back of my neck and I feel my pain start to dull. I’m amazed.
“How did you…?”
“We’ve all got our secrets, Ads. Just let me help when I can, okay?” he says quietly.
I nod at him before he lifts me from the chair, one arm around my back, another under my knees. Compassion isn’t tolerated in this place, and Logan is pushing it.
“How touching,” Liv snarks. “We’ve got a healing bath for you upstairs. Then after that, Cole wants to see you.” A sadistic laugh erupts from her before she walks ahead of us. As we follow in her wake, I wonder how long she lasted under torture before turning – how many cuts, how many hits of the fist, how many truths. There’s part of me that should feel sorry for her, but I don’t – she doesn’t feel sorry for me – and of all the people in the world, she should; she knows exactly what I’m going through.
“She really is a total bitch,” I say. “And you got real strong” I say trying to smile. I need warmth. I need friendship.
“Small perks of my newest adventure,” he says winking at me. I laugh. It feels foreign, but good. It’s been a while. I lean back into him and try to weigh up the level of his loyalty, but it’s hard in this place – the normal rules of engagement don’t apply.
“Thank you,” I whisper. I’m not even sure he hears me until I feel his kiss on my hair.
He lowers his voice to a whisper – he doesn’t want Livvy to overhear him. "Addie, I know this is the worst time to ask, but I've just not had chance…”
"It's fine, Logan, whatever it is, just ask."
"Is Tyler okay?"
"Are you kidding me?" I ask, he stops at my words, and I’m staring him hard in the eye. He is still recoiling from the venom in my voice, and it’s attracted Livvy’s attention.
“Come on, you two love-birds, we haven’t got all day.”
“Coming!” Logan calls out after her, satisfying her that her wish is our command. He looks at me and shrugs, "Woah, Addie. What's the matter?"
"They haven't told you?" I whisper urgently. There’s so little time.
He shakes his head, looking at me wearily, “Told me what?”
"Tyler is the reason all of this happened, Logan. He sold us out. He was working with Kaden. I don't know much, Xander wouldn't tell me everything. All I know is, Tyler was working with Kaden. He betrayed us all. He let the Shades in that night, and it was Tyler who handed me over to Kaden later. The only thing I know for sure is, he's gone and he won't be coming back. Xanders Elite saw to it.
“How?
“I don't have the details. I didn't want them, but he won't ever be back."
A mix of emotions play on his face; the shock and the hurt, anger and disappointment. He holds me a little tighter and rests his forehead against mine before he starts moving again.
“I'm so sorry, Addie. I can't even imagine… But I've got you Ads, you’re safe for now. You should rest.”
It’s like a lullaby. I hear the words and my eyelids grow heavy, the lack of sleep catching up with me. I fight it but Logan makes me feel safe. I feel his arms lift me into the cradle of his chest, and his whispered words send me drifting into oblivion.
***
I wake to soft sheets under me and warmth wrapped around me. I open my swollen eyes and discover the warmth is Logan. He’s wrapped himself around me protectively. He’s watching me and I roll my eyes at him. I don’t understand this shift.
“Creeper,” I say with a smile.
“That’s Mr. Creeper to you, thank you very much,” he says making me laugh. He removes himself and a cold surge of air fills the space.
“So you’re my new guard?” I ask him. I can’t keep up with all of the changes here.
“Something like that. I think it was meant to be Liv… but Cole was worried to leave you two alone together for too long.”
I snort incredulously, “Jeez, that’s saying something considering he thinks Micah a perfectly safe option!”
“Micah is a socio-path, which means he’s predictable. He wouldn’t kill you, because he’d see that as a personal failing, whereas, Livvy… well, I guess I hadn’t realized just how badly she was affected, how deep the hurt went, but well… you’ve seen. I think the girl we knew is still in there, deep, deep down. I just don’t think she knows how to be her anymore,” he says with a long sigh. The pain in his eyes is real; the love he felt for Liv is still there, but it’s distorted by who she is now.
“We could bring her back you know…” the voice in my head says seductively.
“Ugh no! I thought you were gone!” I say.
“Sorry?” Logan asks, confusion colouring his cheeks.
“You’re going to think I’m nuts. Well, more nuts…” I say hesitantly. I want to trust him, every cell in my body feels safe around him, but he’s still one of them.
“How much do you know about what’s happened to me since I got here?” I ask. I see the guilt wash over him.
“Too much,” he admits. “I’m really sorry I couldn’t stop it; that I couldn’t save you, Addie.”
“I guess that makes us even, huh?” I say with a twisted laugh. “So that means you know about her. The weirdo that is the other me?”
“I’ve heard rumours about it. That you burned up that asshole, Micah, real good. That you have power. More power than any one of us put together.”
“Yeah, that’s pretty much it. I don’t know the extent of the power, but I seem to heal like a Fallen, I never would have made it this far if Cole wasn’t my dad I guess. She’s like a whole different person but part of me all at the same time. I think she’s why Cole wants me.” I sigh. “Why couldn’t my parents just stay dead.”
“Do you know who your mum is?”
“No, I don’t know that I want to know. Micah says she was a demon whore, but who the hell really knows. If she was with Cole, she can’t be anyone good – or sane, right?”
“I guess…,” Logan says shrugging. His face crumples and he says sadly, “You know I have to take you to him soon? I’m meant to have only let you have a short rest before the healing bath, but you looked so peaceful. He’ll be pissed that he’s been made to wait.”
“What the hell is a healing bath?”
“Exactly what it sounds like. I’m not sure what’s in it, but it will heal you. All of your sores, your cuts, everything will heal fully. Your scars will fade to almost nothing.”
“And the pain here?” I say pointing to my heart and then to my head.
Logan shrugs again.
“Bloody demon magic I assume?” I ask.
“Does it matter if it can make you feel better? I felt some of your pain. I’ve been trying to syphon it from you bit by bit, but I know I’ve barely touched the surface.”
“You have? How do you even…”
“You probably don’t want to know,” he says, wincing a little.
“You’re right. Lead the way.”
“Oh, it’s just through that door.”
I walk into a bathroom. The tub is filled with a cloudy looking water. I did not expect something so normal and after everything I’ve been through, it makes me suspicious.
I strip the clothes from my body, trying not to focus on the pain of the movement, or from where my body has started to heal and where the clothing opens wounds. I slowly lower myself into the milky water and the relief is almost instant. Mother of gods this feels like heaven. Demons might be asshats, but they know how to rock some healing power. I lay back and feel it as it starts to heal the wounds that cover my body, and my mind quiets a little in this moment of refuge. It takes a while before the feeling starts to ebb and I feel almost like myself again. I run my hands over my face and hair, wincing at the cuts there. I take a deep breath and sink below the water, submerging myself fully. I need to bottle this shit and take it home with me. I stay under
for as long as I can manage before surfacing. I can feel the swelling in my eyes reduce, and the cuts on my lips and eyebrows heal shut. I feel like new.
Grabbing a towel from the nearby rail, I stand and get out of the tub. I dry off and see the colour of the tub has changed from a milky white to a rusty red. My blood. I shudder at the thought before pulling the plug and turning to the mirror. I can’t believe it. I look like me – Hell, I look better than me. I freaking glow!
“Stop getting distracted, Addie. We need to find a way out of here.” I hear her pipe up in my head again. So much for quiet.
“We’re not going anywhere fast. Cool your shit. I want to know what he’s up to first so we can stop it,” I say quietly.
“We’re going to regret staying. We could knock out the boy. He clearly cares for you, and we could escape.”
“I will not hurt my friends!” I protest.
“Your weakness will get us killed. No-one is coming to save you. We need to rescue ourselves.”
“Maybe so, but I will not hurt them. Not again. I already failed them once. It’s my fault they’re here like this.” I hear a knock on the main door and tread quietly to the door to see who it is. I peak through the small space between the door and the frame. Livvy.
“Is she ready yet, Logan?”
“She’s in the bath now. I’ll bring her to you when she’s done.”
“Very well.”
“What are you going to do to her, Liv? She’s our friend. We need to help her get out of here.” He pleads with her. I see her hand rear back and then hear the crack of flesh as she slaps him around the face. Shock roots me in place. The Livvy I knew would never hurt a fly.
“How dare you speak like that! She is the reason we are here, or have you forgotten that. She let us die. She let them take us. She was weak. We’re going to help her fulfil her fate; make her all that she can be. We are the chosen, Logan. Do not let me hear you speak like that again.” She spits at his feet before turning on her heel and storming out of the room. I sink to the floor, leaning against the wall. The Livvy I knew really is gone.
“Told you so,” she says.
I need to go out there and talk to Logan. He must put himself first. He needs to survive this, too, but I can’t make my legs work. I hear him pad across the room to the door. He pushes it open and slides down the wall next to me, drawing me close.
“I’m so sorry, Logan,” I say, my voice catching in my throat as a sob works its way up. Thinking she was dead was one thing, but seeing what she has become kills another piece of my heart. I mourn the loss of my best friend all over again. Logan holds me close, saying nothing. I don’t understand his loyalty to her. I mean, yes I know more than most how much he loved her – before... But that’s not who she is anymore, she’s not the girl he used to love.
“Come on, Addie, we need to get you to Cole. Keeping him waiting is never a good thing.”
I nod, wiping the tears from my face and composing myself. I never thought I’d be this girl; the crazy hot mess. But here I am. I swallow it all down and lock it away inside. I have more important things to worry about right now.
***
Logan took me up to see Cole, but now Cole’s gone and so are his personal demon hit squad. No-one is telling me anything, but from the tension I’ve picked up, something has happened. I was bought down to this god forsaken cell and left to my own devices. My guards, Thing One and Thing Two are back, standing stoically on the other side of the electric cell doors.
The voice in my head has been insistent since I was bought back down here. “If you let me out, we could be free.”
The only problem is, I have no idea, not one, of how to tap into the power I feel thrumming under my skin, and last time I was sucked under, she took over. I don’t want to lose control; I don’t want to lose who I am. The voice quietens and I pace around the cell. I’m in a normal cell, not a torture chamber, so at least I can be grateful for that small mercy, but it’s so goddamn cold down here! I guess it’s getting on for winter now, and I’m thankful Logan pulled out a sweater for me.
I try not to focus on why Cole bought me here, and instead, sit down on the muddy floor wrapping my arms around myself. I close my eyes and picture myself away from here, sitting on a sandy beach, the wind whipping my hair around me. I can almost smell the salt water. Xander and Dimitri are wrestling in the water and Liv and Rose are sun bathing; laughing at Logan and Ty as they try, and fail, to play soccer on the sand. This is what life is like when I close my eyes. None of the bad things which have happened to me matter. Getting lost in my own fantasy, I don’t notice when my cell door opens. Startled, I scramble to my feet. Looking up, I’m met with cold indigo eyes. I have no idea who this guy is but he feels familiar to me – something scratches at the edges of my mind, pushing me to remember, but there’s nothing. He stares at me silently, as if he’s waiting for me to react.
“Erm… Hi?” I say with a small finger wave. I have no idea what to do right now. Who the hell is this guy?
“You are the chosen one…? I imagined you’d be… taller,” he says with a quirk of his lips. It’s so quick I think I might have imagined it.
“Hey!” I say.
“Now, girl, I am here to test you, and it is up to you how much this hurts.”
“W… what?” I stammer. I’ve had enough of being a pin cushion.
His face is stern. “Be still, girl, and this won’t hurt – much.” He strides towards me and places his hands on either side of my head. At first, there’s nothing, then I’m screaming; falling to my knees as the images assault my mind.
Xander a bloody mess, dying in front of me.
Dimitri lifeless on the floor of the Academy hall.
I scream at them to get up. They can’t die. It’s all over if they die.
“This isn’t real, Addie. Fight him,” the voice says.
“I can’t. What’s the point? Look at them, they’re dead.”
“No they’re not! Snap out of it. Push him out. You just need to focus. Use me. Let me help you.”
I try to push him away with my mind but it’s no use; the grip he has on me is too strong. I can feel him trying to pull her to the surface. The feeling overcomes me and then I’m floating, watching myself from outside of myself again.
I watch my hands fly up and the stranger flies backward.
“You should not have done that, Scott Ashton. You know you are no match for us. Not once you let us out of this cage. You should be ashamed of yourself, Fallen.”
He snarls at me… her… us… whatever. For a minute I think he’s going to charge us, but then he seems to compose himself.
“One day soon, little girl, you are going to regret this! Once he has control of you, once he bends you to his will, you will be nothing but a mindless tool. And then, then I will make you know what it is to truly suffer. You’ll be broken, and even your precious Xander won’t be able to piece you back together. I’m not sure what will bring me more joy, breaking you, or watching Xander break seeing you that way. Finally, he’ll feel some of the pain he caused me.”
“We both know I cannot be broken. You can only control us for so long. He knows it, too. Why do you think he rushes to bring me forward, to unleash our power before she’s able to control it? But once she accepts it, when she is able to accept what she is, she will be unstoppable,” Aeveen says in a calm and serene voice. It’s so trippy to watch myself from the outside. “She is more than any of you even know,”
“That demon bitch will be nothing but an empty husk. A whore for us to pass around,” he says getting so close to me there is barely a gap between our bodies.
I see the slap coming before there’s any time to react. The crack is hard as his hand connects with my face, then everything goes dark. Son of a bitch! I jump forward, and the feeling of my fist connecting with his nose brings me more pleasure than I care to admit. I hear the delicious crunch of bone before blood bursts satisfactorily from his face. Having control of myself ag
ain is revitalizing.
“You bitch! You’ll pay for that!” He lifts his hand to me again when Thing One steps forward and lifts him out of the cell.
“That’s enough for now, Scott. Master will not be pleased to hear you struck her,” he says, scolding that dickhead. Scott sulks off down the corridor and even the pain in my hand isn’t enough to wipe the smile from my face. Damn that felt good. I look up and see Thing One smiling at me and I smile back. Maybe today won’t be such a bad day after all.
***
I’ve spent the last few days focusing on tapping into Aeveen. I need to learn how to merge with her, and she’s not shut up about it since that douche-canoe bashed me about. It’s hard to get past the fact there’s a whole other person inside of me. I have no idea who she is or why she’s there, and it’s not like people here are exactly talkative.
Since Cole seems to have disappeared with his lieutenants, I’ve been left alone, which has been a nice change of pace. I’ve been fed and watered, and I discovered Thing One and Two are actually Brock and Aaron. They’re Fallen, too, but other than the occasional few words, they don’t really speak much. I’m not sure if they’re keeping me in or keeping everyone else out. I’ve not seen Liv or Logan.
When I sleep I try to go back to the clearing where I found Rose, but I’ve had no luck. I don’t seem to be able to dream when I sleep. Aeveen says its due to a charm on the cell I’m in; she can feel them. It’s a containment charm, meaning the magic within the cell is dimmed. Nothing comes in, and nothing goes out, which also dampens the chance of me being able to get out of here, even if I do manage to merge with her.
I’ve been so focused on all of this that I’ve managed to lock most thoughts of Xander away in a box deep inside my head. Every time I think of him, I miss him so much it hurts. I also start to think on how he might get me out of here. I’m quick to quash those thoughts and I remind myself that I’m more than capable of saving myself. I think back to the me of a year ago, before all of this. That me would be horrified I was leaning on a man to get me through everything. One thing I’ve learnt from everything is that I can be strong on my own – that doesn’t mean I can’t cry, or lean on other people; I’ve learnt that isn’t weakness, it’s just part of being human, but I can still handle the hard stuff. Like the fact that I thought two of my best friends were dead, turns out one is actually just a raging bitch.
Crash (The Immortal Chronicles Book 2) Page 6