“Don’t even start. She’s not like that,” I say with an unexpected fierceness. The protectiveness I feel towards her already is unreal. I need to get a grip on myself.
“Woah there, cowboy. No harm meant. I just meant she’s cute.” He shrugs.
“Sorry, I just. I don’t even know,” I say, running my hand down my face.
“It’s always the best ones who hit us the hardest, and when we least expect it,” he says with a mischievous glint in his eye. “I’ve got my eye on you two, cupcake.”
“Yeah, yeah. We’re not here for that. We’re here for more important things than me getting some tail,” I say, trying to shrug off whatever the hell is happening to me.
“Ahhh, don’t try and fight it, cowboy. It’s when you struggle that you fall faster. You’ll see.” He laughs before he sashays over to Celeste before following Kaden out of the room. I look back in the direction Dani headed. It’s not too stalkerish if I make sure she gets back okay. Right?
KADEN
The conflicting emotions rage inside – not that you’d know to look at me. I learned a long time ago to hide anything real. This whole thing has been one damned mess up after another, right from the very start.
I knew when Cole came to me in the beginning, this was a bad idea, but my stupid petty feelings toward Xander won out – and I ended up hurting Addie. The moment I saw her in the clearing, I knew I was doing wrong, but there was too much at stake for me to turn back, and so I took her. Then I got to know her, and I knew I couldn’t hand her over to Cole.
I did everything in my power to keep her safe, but she ended up with him anyway. I cut almost all ties with Cole after I sent Addie back to my brother, believing it to be the best way of keeping her safe. I even tried to bargain with him to give me her friends. I should have known that wouldn’t be the end of it. Especially, when he wouldn’t give them up. But I never imagined she was his daughter. That she was the one spoken of so long ago.
I remember right after the war, when Cole was still licking his wounds from his loss, the prophecy was spoken. His obsession with finding and controlling the chosen one was tantamount to nothing. It coveted his every thought, day and night. I dismissed his obsession, having never put much stock in prophecy. Now, I wish I’d paid more attention to his plans.
Back then, I was too busy hating my brother, hating the Fae for what they had made me. My own vengeance blinded me for centuries; hate fed my actions and depravity became a way of life. I fed the underbelly of the underworld, catering to the wishes of Demons, dark elves, and the Fae who had abandoned their normal way of life. I made a name for myself as the one who could cater for any need you could dream up – for a fee of course.
Regret courses through my veins as I think about how my actions directly bought us to this moment. Shame fills me as I leave the room. Everyone is still talking about the revelation. I make my way to one of the empty rooms, shut the door and lean against it.
I’m not sure when things changed. I know it started when I took her, but the more time I spent with Addie, the less appealing the other stuff became. The themed nights at the mansion for all of those paying for their deepest and most horrific desires, the things I sought out to ensure my clients were pleased, all of this stopped after I saw her reaction to it. The look on her face when she saw what was happening around her, chipped away at my black, un-beating heart. The more time I spent with her, the more I realized there was no way I was handing her over to Cole. And after that night, when everyone was messing around, singing karaoke, relaxing as if there was no divide, that’s when I knew I had to tell her the truth.
I knew it played right into Cole’s hands, but I wanted her angry at Xander. I wanted her to trust me, and when she put her hands in my wings, fuck me. I almost fell to my knees, willing to give her the world. At the time, I had no problem with feeling the way I do towards her, but now, with the chance of having my brother back, I know I can’t feel this way.
But I don’t know how to stop it.
I push my hands through my hair and pull on it, begging the pain to take over the tornado in my mind. I need to get her back. I need her to be okay, and I won’t stop until she is back. I will set the world on fire to make sure she is safe. But, knowing once she’s here, I’ll have to watch her walk off into the sunset with my brother… I don’t know how I’m going to deal with that. I don’t know how to see them together and not feel the raging jealousy that already bubbles up within me. Knowing that she doesn’t have a clue. She would never feel for me what she does for my brother – and it kills me more than it should.
A knock on the door slams me back to reality. I pull myself together and put on a mask of indifference, ready to face the world. I open the door and find Michael and Celeste stood in front of me. I step back, allowing them into the room and close the door behind them. They are the only two people in the world with whom I can truly be myself. Each of us at our lowest point, drawn together by pain and tragedy. Family, born from the worst things life could throw at us. I would give them everything they desire if I had the power to do so. They’ve both been through so much, both before they met me and with me.
“Can you believe this?” Michael asks, stunned. From the look of Celeste, I’d say she feels the same.
“I had no idea. I found out at the same time you did. If I’d known, I would never…”
“We know you wouldn’t have, Kaden,” Celeste says trying to comfort me. “Even if no-one else believes it, we know. What are we going to do?”
“Whatever we need to. We can’t let him have her. She deserves more. She’s worth… everything.” The words leave me before I can stop them. Neither of them are oblivious to how I feel, but this is the first time the words have been said aloud.
“We will get her, Kaden. Even if it costs us, she will be safe.”
“Safe. And back with my brother,” I say unable to conceal the bitterness in my voice.
XANDER
“Xander!” I turn at the sound of my name being yelled behind me and see Rose running towards me.
“Xander, wait!” I stop and let her catch up. When she reaches me, she bends over at the waist, sucking in breath.
“Man, I need to work our more,” she says, standing upright.
“Can I help you, Rose?” I ask.
“Actually, I think I can help you. I think I can get you into Addie’s dream. I’m not sure how long I’ll be able to do it for, but it’s got to be worth a try right?” she says in a stream.
I swear she doesn’t take a breath. This news is amazing, but I don’t want to get my hopes up. “Really? What makes you think you can do this? Why couldn’t we do this before?”
“I didn’t know it was possible before. I’ve been researching some of the scrolls father gave to me, and it says that it has been done in the past. I’m willing to try it if you are.”
“Of course I’m willing to try; I just don’t want anyone to get hurt, Rose. I know how hard these things can be on you.”
“I’ll be fine. I just figure it’s not fair I’m the only one that’s been able to see her. But maybe we shouldn’t tell Benny just yet.” She giggles nervously.
“Thank you, Rose. Thank you so much. Have you been able to reach her since last time?”
“No, I haven’t,” she says looking down and fiddling with a button on her top. “But I won’t stop trying. I’m not saying this will work, I have no idea. I’ve never even connected with anyone but Addie, but I need to do something, and if this can help, then I’m all for it,” she says with a quiet passion.
“Okay, when are you proposing we do this?”
“Tonight? Dimitri should probably be there, but we’ll have to keep everyone else away.”
“Agreed. Okay, I’ll send Dimiti for you at about nine and we shall try. If you can’t do this, Rose, it doesn’t reflect on you. We all know how bad you want Addie back.”
“Thank you, Xander, I appreciate it. I’ll see you later.”
***
>
I pace my room while I wait for Dimitri to come back with Rose. I hope to hell this works. I know that some people don’t understand what we have, or why we’re together, but it doesn’t have to make sense to them. They don’t know what she means to me, and I really couldn’t give less of a shit what they think. All that matters, is that it makes sense to us. I just hope I get my Addie back. I’d sacrifice everything, even myself, to save her from everything that she’s going through.
A knock sounds at the door and I rush to open it before waving Dimitri and Rose in. Hope floods through me, I might actually be able to see her; tell her everything I should have said before I left for that stupid recon mission. I should have just stayed home and put her first. If I get her back, I’ll spend the rest of our lives putting her first.
“Are you ready?” Rose asks. I can see the hesitance in her. She’s nervous, and I don’t blame her. This isn’t a small thing to attempt. Even for someone like her.
“Ready as I’ll ever be. Where do you need me?”
“Lie down on the bed and get comfortable. I don’t exactly know how the Fallen sleep or dream, but I’m assuming it’s the same as the rest of us, so it shouldn’t be too hard.”
I nod and follow her instructions. She climbs on the bed beside me and takes my hand in hers. I can tell how tense she is.
“Everything will be fine, Rose. Even if we can’t reach her. Relax.”
She lets out a long breath and settles beside me, closing her eyes. I’m not sure how much time passes, but when Rose enters my mind I become very aware. I look around at where we are, it’s a small field in a forest, protected by a bubble of light.
“Rose, this is incredible. Is this normally where you see her?”
“Yes, Addie actually dreamt it, so I figured it was a safe place in her mind, I just recreated it so she can come back.”
“Amazing. How do we reach her from here?”
“I need to connect with her, but I put the bubble in place so that no-one else can enter. I’ve not been able to connect with her for a while, so I don’t know if we’ll manage it tonight, but I need to try.”
“Okay, what do you need me to do?”
“I just need you to be quiet so I can focus on her,” she says before sitting down crossed legged and closing her eyes. I sit in front of her and do the same, taking her hands.
“Maybe I can help? I just need to focus on thoughts of her right? Maybe I can help amplify your thoughts?”
“It can’t hurt,” she says.
I close my eyes and focus all thoughts on Addie; of her as a child, discovering the world we live in, aged twelve, getting her first kiss from a boy and then punching him for being gross. I chuckle a little remembering that one. Then I focus on her now. I picture her face when Michael and Celeste bought her back to me. Her hair whipping behind her in the wind, strands covering her face, and those eyes. Her eyes pierced through me, carving up my heart, destroying me for anyone else. I knew in that moment she would only ever be mine.
“Xander?” I hear her voice, and I think I’m imagining it. I open my eyes and look around the bubble. I see her, stuck outside.
“Addie? Is it really you?” I rush to my feet and towards her, she flickers in and out, like an old TV screen. “Addie don’t go!”
“Xander. Oh my god Xander I miss you so much!” I see tears run down her cheeks and it kills me.
“Rose, why is she outside?” I shout.
“I don’t know,” she says fearfully.
“Addie, you need to come in here. I can’t help you out there.”
“I can’t, I can’t get through,” she says before falling to the ground.
“I’m coming for you, sweetheart. I won’t be long. Nothing on Earth can keep us apart.”
“Save me, Xander. I don’t know how long I can keep her back. The demon inside me, she fights me every day, and they help her. They want her, not me. I’m dying, Xander, I can feel it.”
“You’re not a demon, Addie. I don’t care what they’ve said, how they’ve poisoned your mind. I need you to hear me.”
“You don’t know who I really am,” she sobs. It breaks me to see her like this. To know it’s my fault for not being honest with her before.
“Addie, more than anyone else on this plane or any other, I know exactly who you are, and baby, you are not a demon! Your mother is far from a Demon. Don’t let them win, Addie.” I put my hand up to the light and she places her hand on the other side and I swear I can feel her. She starts to flicker in and out and I try to push through the barrier to get to her.
“Addie!” I shout.
“I love you Xander. Always.” I hear her whisper before she disappears fully from sight.
“No!” I yell. I turn to Rose, the desperation fuelling my anger. “Bring her back! I can’t let her go like that. I had more I needed to say to her!”
“I can’t, Xander, I don’t know what happened, or why she couldn’t get through. I feel so drained. I need to take us back.”
“Dammit, Rose, please. Just try!”
“I’m sorry, Xander,” She says before disappearing from sight too, then I’m surrounded by darkness and I swear I can hear laughing in the distance. Cruel and evil, sending shivers down my spine.
I’m shook awake and open my eyes to see Dimitri stood over me with a very pissed off Benny knelt down by Rose.
“Rose, we need to go back,” I plead.
“Hell no!” Benny roars. “She shouldn’t have done this in the first place, it could have killed her! I told her not to even mention it. God dammit Rose!”
“You saw her?” Dimitri asks quietly and I nod.
“Yes, briefly. She’s so broken D. I don’t know how much longer we have before it’s too late. We need to get her back. Now.”
ADDIE
Life is made up of moments. Defining moments. Forgettable moments. But they all build up together, until one day they crest and you have to deal with the result. The fallout. I think back across the events of my rather extraordinary life and wonder how I ended up here. I try to pinpoint the moment everything took a turn for the worst; the moment I made a decision that led me to be where I am, but I can’t for the life of me recall it. You’d think it would be a pinnacle moment I couldn’t possibly forget, and yet, I think it must have been one of those ordinary, everyday forgettable moments. Maybe that’s why my punishment has been so unrelenting. To lose everyone around me I cared about, and finally, to lose myself.
I don’t know how much longer I can survive the punishments. My body can’t take much more, and I’m at the point of losing hope.
Other than my brief and blissful moments with Xander last night, I’ve seen no one but Micah for days. His torture is unrelenting. Each day, I’ve lost more of myself, and I can feel Aeveen getting stronger. Each day, I feel her surge forward, and my hold on her slips before she takes over and pushes me down. Fighting her for control exhausts me mentally. I’m not even sure why I’m holding on anymore, except for the fact I’m too stubborn to let go. I’m not ready to give in. I hear Aeveen’s ramblings continuously, driving me insane. How she’s ‘so much stronger’ than I am. Her ‘purpose is greater’ than mine. That she ‘needs to be let free’. She spoke to Cole last time she broke through, except that time it was different. I couldn’t hear or see, it was as if I was floating in darkness void of everything. There was nothing but my own thoughts, and it was terrifying, not knowing if I’d ever be me again.
Since then, she has changed. Her hunger to be let free is more intense, and she fights me day and night, torturing me from inside while Micah ravages me. She wants to be with Cole, she only calls him ‘Father’, and if I even think badly of him, pain erupts inside my head making my nose and ears bleed. I’m so glad I got one last chance to see Xander. I wasn’t lying when I told him last night that I’m dying. I can feel Aeveen’s presence growing and I fear she’s going to overwhelm me soon. I’ve learnt I can heal quicker than I ever imagined, and because of this, I can be hu
rt more than I ever thought possible. Each time, I think of Xander and try to go to a happy place, she wails inside my head and I can’t shut her off unless I am asleep – at least there she doesn’t torture me. I sag forward in my restraints.
I’m lost.
Micah’s sadistic giggle starts again, followed by a slow clap. I look up and see Cole stood in the doorway.
“Well done, Micah my boy! I think you might have broken the filly,” he says with a delighted smile on his face. Asshole! I think. The pain rips through me making me scream out. My back arches against the retrains, my body fighting itself.
“Ah, and it’s good to see Aeveen doing her part, too. Soon we will be together again, my daughter, we will be all we were meant to be and no-one will be able to stop us.”
I hear him through the pain and that’s when I feel the last thread of control snap. The pain breaks me and I float into the darkness. At least it doesn’t hurt here.
AEVEEN
I open my eyes. I have finally won. I’m free, and I can’t hear her in my mind either. After my talk with Father, I had to break free and help him take vengeance against those who trapped me. He told me the truth; about how the Fae and the Vampyrs worked together to imprison me. To lock me inside of this body so that I could never be free. They thought me too dangerous to roam the Earth without even giving me a chance. He asked me to fight for him, fight for myself against the many who fought to keep us weak. After my initial refusal for making Addie, and in turn me, suffer, he explained that he did it for me. That it was the only way he knew to set me free. He told me merging with her wasn’t going to work, that I’d lose myself to her, and she’d gain my power. It didn’t seem fair; she’d already been able to live. It was my turn. So I fought.
I’m still in the wretched chair, but I see Father kneeling in front of me.
“Aeveen, my darling, well done! You did it. You’re finally free.”
“Hello, Father.” I turn to Micah and smile. “Thank you, Micah for your assistance. Now can someone please unbind me?”
Crash (The Immortal Chronicles Book 2) Page 10