by Lily Love
To Craig, Roman had stolen the love of his parents. Craig knew that it wasn’t true and that the things his parents had done bordered on psychologically abusive, but the scars were still there.
He was doing his best to keep himself in check, but sometimes it was a lot to ask for.
“Jack, what is he doing here?” Roman asked. He looked at Jack. “And who the hell’s baby is that?”
“It’s Craig’s baby,” Jack said. “And Jack is here because his whole world just imploded back in California since his family learned about Isaac.”
Craig started to move his foot again, pushing the cradle slowly to comfort Isaac. It wasn’t long before he settled down.
“Craig?” Roman asked. “Is that true?”
“Well… yeah.” Craig shrugged. “I’m Isaac’s biological father. Synthia conceived right before we broke up and kept it a secret from me. I’m taking care of Isaac now until we get things sorted out with her, but my parents have been breathing down my neck about giving him up, so I left. Jack was kind enough to take me in.”
“And was nobody going to tell me this was going on?” Roman asked, incredulous.
Craig grimaced. “How many missed calls do you have from your mother? Because I guarantee you that there is no way my mother wouldn’t have already filled her in on everything that’s been going down.”
Roman made a face that let Craig know he wasn’t all that far off the mark. Roman had left Los Angeles for similar reasons to Craig, but he’d had a reason to set down roots. The love of his life owned the Blackwood duplexes and they were happily married. Craig figured Roman was trying to duck out on as much family drama as possible.
“Point taken.” Roman spoke stiffly. “So… should I congratulate you or offer my condolences?”
The conversation was awkward. Craig looked away from Roman and back at Isaac. “You can congratulate me. I’m very serious about Isaac.”
“Congrats, then.” Roman folded his arms. “He’s… cute.”
“Thanks.” Craig took the compliment and didn’t jab Roman about it any further. When they went at it, their tempers rose to explosive levels. Craig didn’t want to cause a scene in front of his son. “We’re going to be staying here with Jack for a while, so you’ll have a chance to see him again, I guess.”
“We were thinking of having a barbecue,” Jack added. “Sort of a welcome party for Craig and Isaac. I figured the other guys would want to meet the baby.”
“Yeah. Sounds good.” Roman didn’t sound too thrilled. “So… the Dremel?”
“Right.” Jack shook his head. He gave Craig an apologetic look and led Roman away.
When both men had left, Craig got up from the couch and scooped Isaac out of his crib. He paced the living room, trying to work off some of his nervous energy. He knew that Roman lived across the street, but he hadn’t been planning to meet up with him until he was better prepared for it. So much had gone on that running into him was a shock Craig wasn’t ready for.
He held Isaac to his chest for comfort — more for himself than for Isaac — and focused on calming himself down. There was nothing to get so upset about. Roman wasn’t a typical Hawthorn. If Craig didn’t push his buttons, there wouldn’t be an upset.
Still, the encounter left a bitter taste in Craig’s mouth.
North Carolina was worth it for Jack alone, but having Roman around put a damper on Craig’s enthusiasm. In time it would pass, but he was only just getting settled.
With Roman in the house, Craig was antsy not to be anywhere near him. He headed onto the porch. The sun was bright and the day was warm. September weather was unpredictable.
Craig faced the street. He bounced Isaac gently. There was no traffic going by, nor were any of the other men in the complex outside. He paced the length of the porch.
A handful of minutes later, the front door opened. Jack and Roman stepped out. Roman had his Dremel kit tucked under his arm.
“Hey,” Roman said. “I’m sorry about before. I was being a dick.”
“No, it’s fine.” Craig faced him. “It was unexpected. I get it. If I came in and found you sitting in my neighbor’s living room, I’d probably react the same way.”
There was uncomfortable silence between them. Jack corrected it by dropping a hand on Roman’s shoulder. “Well, good luck with the project.”
“Thanks.” Roman smiled. “I’ll text you a little later about the barbecue.”
“You got it.”
Roman headed down the stairs. As he did, Jack came to stand by Craig’s side. They didn’t touch, but they stood close. Jack’s proximity was soothing.
“Hey,” Jack said softly. “I know that you and Roman don’t exactly have the best relationship, but I’m proud of you.”
“For what?” Craig asked.
“For keeping your cool during the unexpected,” Jack said. “I know you didn’t want to see him, but you kept it together and were respectful. That was a really mature thing of you to do.”
Craig snorted. “I’m thirty. If I’m not mature, then what am I?”
“You know what I mean,” Jack accused. “I’ve heard the stories from Roman about you two.”
Heat spread across Craig’s cheeks. “No. He didn’t.”
“He did.” Jack stuck out his tongue. “All of us know what a terror you were… doesn’t mean all of us believe it, though. Now come on. Let’s get back inside and keep watching the game. Unless you don’t want to anymore?”
“Oh, no, I do.” Craig crossed the threshold and entered the house once more. “You want me to make dinner tonight?”
“Nope. I’ve got it covered.”
They settled in place. Isaac back in his cradle, Craig across the couch with his foot out to rock his son to sleep, and Jack at the other end of the couch.
Craig couldn’t believe he’d survived an encounter with Roman without a blowup. Life really was different when he separated from his family — it was better.
11
Jack
Jack fanned the envelope. He leaned over the back of the couch and arched a brow playfully as he looked Craig over. Craig was checking email on his phone while he rocked Isaac’s cradle.
“Hey,” Jack said.
Craig jumped. “God, you scared me.”
“Sorry.” Jack winked. “I think it’s worth the scare, though. I have something for you.”
“Something for me?” Craig puckered his lips suspiciously. “Nothing bad, I hope?”
“Nope. Only something great. Here, take a look.” Jack held out the envelope.
Since Craig and Isaac had come to stay, Craig had been unhappy. He’d never come out and said it, but Jack could tell he was by the way he spoke and the things he did. Almost a week had gone by since Craig’s arrival and he hadn’t once left the house.
Jack appreciated staying home as much as anyone else, but he knew that Craig’s behavior was troublesome. Craig was so focused on being a dad that he was forgetting to be himself.
“Um…” Craig looked the envelope over. It was blank. “All right.”
“Open it,” Jack invited.
Craig lifted the flap and removed the contents from inside. Jack beamed. In Craig’s hands were two tickets to the upcoming Carolina Panthers home game in Charlotte.
“Tickets to the game?” Craig asked, surprised.
“I figured we could either sit at home and watch it, or drive out to Charlotte and see it ourselves. It’ll be fun. I’ll do all the driving and you can relax.”
“What about Isaac?” Craig asked. The hesitance was obvious in his voice.
“Isaac can come, too. The three of us will go together.”
“I don’t know…”
“Then let me decide for you.” Jack smirked. “We’re going. It’s tomorrow. You, me, and baby make three. You’re on vacation. You should enjoy yourself.”
Craig dipped his head. “Thank you.”
“No biggie.” Jack pushed back from the couch, heart beating faster than it
should have. Craig’s praise was addictive. “You can thank me by coming along and having a good time, all right?”
This time Craig smiled. The flash of white teeth and the dazzle in his eyes was dangerous. Jack was glad he’d distanced himself — the way Craig looked at him made it very hard not to lean in and kiss him.
“So,” Jack said in a desperate bid to distract himself. “What do you feel like for dinner?”
His attempts were futile. Even the simplest conversations with Craig were guilty pleasures.
It was a two-and-a-half-hour drive to Charlotte. Jack drove. He gave himself plenty of time to arrive, and he was glad for it. They stopped often to tend to Isaac, who was starting to get fussy.
“Do you think he’s going to be okay with the loud noises?” Craig asked as they pulled into the Bank of America stadium. “I’ve been trying to make noise when he sleeps so he learns to sleep through it, but I’m worried that the noise here might hurt his ears.”
“I think he’s going to be okay,” Jack said. “Kids are really resilient. He’s probably going to surprise you.”
“I hope so.” There was still reluctance in Craig’s voice. He was doing his best to put on a brave face, but Jack knew that on the inside he was reeling. “If it gets to be too much I can always step out. As long as you have my cellphone number we can meet up after. If anything, I’d probably head back to the car.”
“Then you need this.” Jack pressed a spare car key into Craig’s hand. “Keep it with you in case you do need to come back. Run the AC so Isaac doesn’t get too warm.”
“Thanks.”
“But, Craig?” Jack gave him a firm look.
“Yeah?”
“You’re going to be fine. You’re doing the new dad freakout thing we talked about.”
Craig laughed. “Yeah, I know. I can see myself doing it, too, which is the worst part. I’ll try to tone it down. Everything is just so new to me.”
“I know.” Jack squeezed his shoulder. “And you’re doing great. Trust me. I’m a pseudo-dad, remember?”
The moment Jack’s hand touched Craig’s shoulder, something changed between them. Jack’s hand stayed on Craig’s shoulder longer than it should have. Teasing electricity passed from Jack’s palm up his arm, leaving his skin tingling.
He wanted to kiss Craig badly.
Craig didn’t make a move to pull away. “Thank you for everything, Jack,” he said softly.
Jack’s heart beat against his ribs. If he didn’t part ways from Craig soon, he was going to start getting hard. Hell, maybe he’d started already. He shifted his thighs, trying to make it look like he was thinking about leaving the car.
The moment lingered. Craig cocked his head the slightest bit to the side. Craig looked at his full bottom lip and hungered for it.
Isaac wailed and whatever grew between them withered.
“I’m on my way, little guy,” Craig said. He drew away from Jack. “Don’t you worry.”
“Yeah. We should get in and get him settled before the real rush starts,” Jack said. His heart wouldn’t quit hammering. “He must be fussy now that the car’s stopped moving.”
“We’ll get him fixed up.” Craig left the car and opened the back door. He unbuckled the car seat and pulled Isaac closer. “Ah. He needs his diaper changed. That’s why he’s angry.”
“You’ve got the diaper bag?”
“You know it.” Craig took the car seat from the car and slung the diaper bag over his shoulder. “You go get us our seats and get settled. Isaac and I are going to use the bathroom.”
“Sure.” Jack was reluctant to split ways, but he understood the necessity. They walked in together through the front doors and made it past security, and while Craig went to take care of Isaac’s mess, Jack went to get refreshments and scout out their seats.
The tickets were good and the stadium wasn’t all that busy. Massive cups of soda and a deluxe plate of nachos in hand, Jack settled. When Craig and Isaac made their appearance, he waved to them and guided them over. To make their passage easier, Jack took the car seat from Craig and held it while Jack shimmied to his seat.
The woman who sat several seats over watched them, a placid smile on her face.
“You got him?” Craig asked.
“I’ve got him. You get yourself settled.”
“Where do you want me to move the nachos?” Craig asked. “They’re blocking my seat.”
“You hold onto them while you sit down and then we’ll find a place for everything.”
It was a little chaotic trying to juggle the food, drinks, diaper bag, and car seat, but Jack was confident they could managed.
“Hey, excuse me,” the woman from a few seats down said. “Do you need any help?”
“I, um…”
“Let me hold your diaper bag,” she said. “It’s getting snagged.” She came over and took the diaper bag from Craig.
Without the additional bulk, Craig was able to navigate to his seat, move the nachos, and sit. Once he was settled, Jack settled, too. They situated Isaac in the space between them.
“He’s so cute,” the woman said. She handed their diaper bag back. “Congratulations.”
“Thank you,” Craig said.
“How old is he?”
“Almost four months.”
“Adorable. They’re the sweetest when they’re at this age. Good for you two for still getting out and living your lives despite having a new baby. It’s so sweet to see a young couple still making time for each other.”
Jack resisted the urge to gape. A young couple? Really?
“Thanks,” Craig said.
Wait. Jack looked at Craig in disbelief. Was Craig not going to correct her? Why the hell would he do something like that?
Jack liked the fantasy, but he had no idea why Craig was going along with it.
“Is one of you the biological father?” she asked.
“I am,” Craig said. “We’re actually just friends, though.”
Jack’s spirits fell. The excitement of thinking Craig considered them a couple died. Of course he didn’t. Craig was straight. Jack knew what he was getting into when he invited him over. The longer he clung to false notions that Craig could be his, the more likely he was to get hurt.
At this point, heartbreak was near inevitable.
They meshed so well that it was painful to think they’d never have something more. Jack had never had a connection so intense with anyone else before.
“Oh, oh, of course,” she laughed. “You two just worked together so well that I figured you had to be romantically involved. What a lovely friendship you have. It’s so rare to see a man taking responsibility for his child, especially when going out with friends.”
“He’s my world,” Craig said. The fondness in his voice was sweet and sincere. Jack wished Craig would use it on him.
God, what was he thinking? He really was in over his head.
“So sweet.” She smiled. “You’ve made my day. Enjoy the game.”
“You too.”
To distract himself, Jack shoved a nacho into his mouth and chewed loudly. He knew from the start that crushing on a straight man wouldn’t do him any good. Why had he thought that inviting that straight man to live with him for months on end was a good idea?
“Hey,” Craig said. He leaned in toward Jack. “Are you doing okay? You look unhappy.”
“I’m fine.”
“As long as you’re sure,” Craig said. “Today is supposed to be about having fun, right? That was the deal? So if you’re not happy with something, let me know and I’ll do my best to fix it.”
“Thanks.”
Only what made Jack unhappy wasn’t something Craig could fix. Craig wasn’t gay — there was no workaround for that. Jack needed to get over himself and give up on the things he felt when Craig got near.
The sparks. The instant chemistry. The way Craig made him smile…
The game started. Jack breathed out a sigh of relief and settled back in h
is chair.
He’d found the perfect man, but the perfect man was inaccessible. Just his luck.
No matter what he felt, he promised himself that he’d make Craig and Isaac’s stay an enjoyable one. Jack refused to let his emotions get in the way.
At the end of the day, even though Craig was straight, Jack still had a terrific friend. A best friend. Someone who understood him and who he understood in turn. Someone he could turn to on the bad days.
They may never get physical, but Jack supposed that was only a very small part of what made a relationship a relationship. Getting to spend quality time with Craig was what was most important.
And here they were, at the game, ready to enjoy themselves.
Jack shed his grief and invested himself in the game. Soon enough he’d forgotten what had him so upset. When he was screaming his lungs out with Craig, having the time of his life, it was hard to remember that there was anything he had to regret.
12
Jack
By the time the game was over, Jack was exhausted. The energy in the stadium was contagious, and attending a game with Craig made it even more exciting. They’d cheered and shouted until their throats were raw. Through it all, Isaac was exceptionally well behaved.
Jack and Craig remained seated as the stadium emptied. With the amount they had to carry, Jack figured it would be easier that way.
“I’ll take the diaper bag and the trash if you’ve got Isaac,” Jack said once their row was clear and the foot traffic had died down.
“Deal.”
The diaper bag traded hands. Jack collected their trash. He led the way from the aisle and back to the steps leading inside. Craig followed.
“What are the plans now?” Craig asked.
“We make the drive home to Dekalb. Once we get in we get Isaac settled, then we call it a day? I’m pretty exhausted.”
“I am, too,” Craig said. “Why don’t we stay in Charlotte for the night? I’ll spring for a hotel room.”