by Lily Love
One of Craig’s hands looped around to stroke Jack’s dick. Jack moaned, alternating between thrusting into Craig’s and impaling himself on Craig’s cock.
“I just… I just came,” Jack managed to say. “I can’t.”
“Then keep trying,” Craig urged. He wasn’t ready to come. Not yet. He was going to keep Jack in bed for a while. “I need to feel you shoot. I want to know you did it with me inside you.”
They thrust and rutted. Eventually Craig pulled out and flipped Jack onto his back. Jack’s legs wrapped around him and they resumed what they’d started.
It was wild and passionate, but beneath it, Craig still felt sorrow.
This was what he was giving up.
“Craig,” Jack uttered. “I’m gonna…”
“Do it,” Craig said. He had his fist back around Jack’s cock, stroking him toward completion. His own orgasm approached. If he felt Jack tighten around him, Craig knew he’d shoot.
Jack grunted, then moaned. He pushed into Craig’s hand and back against his dick one more time, then shuddered as he released. Craig felt the ripple run through Jack’s body. It squeezed his passage tight, each pulse of cum mirrored in the way Jack’s body squeezed.
Craig groaned and buried himself deep in Jack’s ass. He worked Jack down into the mattress as best he could, and when Jack squeezed him one more time, he couldn’t resist. Craig came, too.
Craig’s orgasm soothed him. He sighed as he settled on top of Jack. His cock was still in Jack’s ass.
“What does this mean?” Jack asked. He sounded uncertain and fearful.
Craig wished he had better news. “I don’t know.”
“Are you going back to LA?” Jack frowned.
“I have to.” Craig pulled out. He took care of the condom, then laid beside Jack. They didn’t touch each other, but they were close enough that Craig felt Jack’s body heat. “I don’t see any other option.”
“You don’t think she can be talked to?” Jack asked. “I mean, we might not be able to talk her out of a custody agreement, but maybe we could talk her down into being more reasonable?”
“I don’t think so,” Craig said. Synthia saw him as an enemy now. There would be no changing her mind. “She’s not going to listen to anything I have to say. I think she thinks I’m trying my best to hurt her.”
“You’re not, though.” Jack rubbed his face with both hands, looking as frustrated as Craig felt. “All you’re trying to do is what’s best for Isaac. Why can’t she understand that?”
“Because I hurt her before,” Craig said. “I left her when she refused to get help for her problem. She wanted me to stay and care for her. She wanted me to enable her. I don’t think she’s ever going to forgive me for what I did.”
“But it was the right thing to do,” Jack stressed.
“She doesn’t care. I don’t think she’ll ever see it that way.”
The situation was hopeless. Craig wasn’t worried about the custody battle — when it came down to it, his wealth meant the lawyers he could afford would blow Synthia’s out of the water — but he hated the thought that it had to be that way. He didn’t want Isaac to grow up with feuding parents. Craig respected Synthia despite her problems, but he doubted Synthia would extend the same kind of courtesy toward him.
“So you’re going,” Jack mumbled. “When?”
“As soon as I can. It’s probably too late to book a flight today, so tomorrow. It’ll take Synthia three or four days to drive back, if I had to guess. I want to be there well before she arrives.”
The look on Jack’s face was too much to take, so Craig closed his eyes and pressed the side of his head into the pillows. He didn’t want to leave either, but he didn’t have much of a choice. Synthia was forcing his hand. Los Angeles still had him in its clutches.
As they laid together in silence, Isaac started to cry. The misery in the air broken, if only for the moment. Craig got out of bed and pulled on his boxer-briefs. On the way out the door, he grabbed Jack’s robe.
Dad-mode was back on.
“You’ve got this?” Jack asked.
“Yeah, I’ve got this,” Craig said. “You rest.”
“Thanks. I don’t think I could stand if I wanted to.” Jack managed to laugh, but it was short-lived. “Come back after?”
“Of course I will.” Craig stopped in the doorway. He smiled at Jack even as sorrow gripped him.
He wasn’t sure if Jack was talking about after he took care of Isaac, or after the ordeal in California was over. Craig wasn’t sure it mattered. The answer didn’t change.
26
Craig
Craig strapped Isaac’s car seat into Jack’s car for the final time. Craig’s luggage was in the back, his diaper bag packed and ready for a full day of travel. Isaac’s temperature was back to normal. Craig hoped it would help him fend off some of the germs he was about to be exposed to during their travels.
“You’ve got everything?” Jack asked. He stood behind Craig.
“Yep.”
“Enough diapers for a whole day?”
“Yep.”
“Wipes?”
“Yep.”
“A few changes of clothes, just in case he messes himself or spills something?”
Craig ducked out from the car and turned to face Jack. He pulled Jack into his arms and held him close. It didn’t matter if Lane saw. Hell, it didn’t matter if Roman saw. Right now both of them needed reassurance.
“I’ve got everything,” Craig said. “I triple checked. I even made a list. Do you want to go over it before we head out?”
Jack’s arms tightened around him. “No. I trust you.”
“I’m glad.”
Craig released Jack. Jack did the same. He took a step back and looked Jack over, saying goodbye to paradise. Craig knew he’d come back, but he knew it would never be like this again.
“We need to go,” Craig said. He didn’t want to say it, but he had to. If they loitered he might miss his flight.
“I know.” Jack looked at his shoes. “Let’s go then.”
It was a somber drive to the airport. Craig barely recognized the landmarks, but every time he noticed something familiar, longing twisted his stomach into a knot. Every mile along the way was a memory shaped by Jack.
The airport loomed in the distance. Craig caught sight of the air control tower and he sank into his seat, miserable. Jack glanced his way and laid a hand on Craig’s thigh.
“It’s going to be okay,” Jack promised. “You’re going to get through this. Everyone’s going to see what a terrific dad you are.”
“Because you helped me become one,” Craig said. “I just… I don’t know what to do about this. I don’t know what to do about any of it.”
“Take it one step at a time,” Jack advised. “Focus on Isaac. Get plenty of sleep. If you need help, don’t be afraid to reach out.”
The airport appeared on the horizon. They made the exit to take them to it.
“I meant…” Craig couldn’t say what he meant. The words tangled in his throat and choked him.
“Mm?” Jack asked.
I meant I don’t know what to do about us. I don’t want to go.
“No, it’s not important.” Craig shook his head. Right now he needed to focus on being a parent. If things with Jack were supposed to work out, they would. He had faith. And if they didn’t, he already had a man in his life who made life worth living. Craig would fight for Isaac until the end.
Jack brought them to the departure area of the airport. He put the car into park and let it run. Craig took a deep breath.
This was it. This was goodbye.
“Thank you for hosting me and Isaac,” Craig said. After all they’d shared together, a goodbye like that sounded impersonal. Jack meant so much more.
“You’re welcome.” Jack ran his hands over the steering wheel. He shook his head, then opened the door. Craig followed. They exited the car together to pull out the luggage and unstrap Isaac. Jack
held Isaac while Craig stacked his bags as best he could. He’d forgotten how cumbersome they were.
When there was no more luggage left to finagle, Craig took a deep breath and held out his arm to take Jack’s car seat. Jack looped the handle over his arm. There was so much Craig wanted to say, but he couldn’t bring himself to say it. To do so felt like too final a goodbye.
“Let me carry your luggage,” Jack said. “At least until you check it.”
“You’d need to park to do that,” Craig said with a wry grin. “You left your car running in the drop-off spot.”
“… Shit.” Jack bowed his head. “Wait for me?”
“No, it’s okay. I’ve got this.” Craig bit down on his lip. Was this really it?
“Text me when you’ve landed in LA. I don’t care what time it is.”
“I will.”
“And… text me when you get back to your condo safe,” Jack said. “I don’t know if your parents are still upset about Jack, but it’d make me feel better to know you’re safe at home.”
“I will.”
They stood awkwardly before each other, neither of them daring to make the first move. Craig squeezed his eyes shut and held his breath. When he opened his eyes again, he stepped forward and cupped Jack’s cheek with his free hand. Jack’s eyes were misted with tears he refused to let fall.
“Thank you for everything,” Craig said. Then he kissed him.
Craig had been worried that out in public he’d feel differently about being with Jack. He was wrong. The second their lips met, Craig felt the familiar shock run through him. It worked down his spine in fits and bursts and danced in his gut.
He was going to miss Jack more than he’d missed anyone before.
The kiss broke. Jack looked up at him from beneath his lashes, impossibly gorgeous. Craig smiled even though he felt sad.
“Take care of yourself, okay?” Craig asked. He stepped back and took hold of his luggage. He rolled it toward the sliding doors. “I’ll be back in touch soon.”
“Take care of yourself, too,” Jack said. “And take care of Isaac. I’m going to miss both of you.”
The sliding doors opened. Craig stepped through them and looked back at Jack one last time. Soon enough he was lost in the sea of travelers bustling on the public side of the airport.
Craig wasn’t just a man anymore — he was a parent — and no matter how much it hurt, he had to do what was right for his son.
27
Jack
The house was empty. Jack had never considered it empty before, not even after Hunter had left for the final time.
Jack crossed the threshold and looked at his living room. Isaac’s cradle occupied the space in front of the couch, still and empty. A few clean spit-up rags were folded neatly on the side table, waiting to be used. If Jack let himself pretend, it was easy to believe that Craig and Isaac were both upstairs in the guest bedroom. But thoughts like that were toxic. The longer Jack fooled himself, the longer he’d suffer.
Craig was gone. Isaac was gone. He doubted he’d see either of them again.
Feeling melancholy, Jack climbed the stairs. He intended to change into his pajamas and spend the rest of the day sulking, but when he stepped through the door of his room, he stopped in his tracks. The bed was unmade. The smell of Craig clung to the sheets and lingered in the air. Jack rushed in, grabbed his pajamas, then retreated into the bathroom. He cast his clothes into the sink, sank down on the toilet, and set his head in his hands.
He knew that falling for a straight man was a terrible idea, but it wasn’t supposed to hurt like this. Craig returned his affections. They’d made a life together in the month they’d had. Now everything had gone up in smoke and Jack was left scrambling to put out the fire.
Was this what he wanted? Not only a partner, but a family? He’d been on his own for so long that it was strange to think he was a part of something bigger.
Jack shook his head and stood up, determined to change and then laze around on the couch, when he saw Craig’s toothbrush sitting in its cup. The bottom of Jack’s stomach fell out. Staying home wasn’t going to work. Until he could pull himself together, he needed to get out of the house and away from his memories of Craig.
So Jack did the only thing he could think to do. He went to Lane’s.
There was no answer at Lane’s door, so Jack tried the door to Lane’s studio. It was open so he let himself in. Lane was in the process of remodeling the other half of his duplex to set it up for songwriting and recording, but it looked like he wasn’t focused on construction today. Jack heard the sound of Lane’s piano instead.
Jack made his way to the piano room and opened the door. Lane’s back was to the door. He sat on the bench, humming, as his fingers felt out the keys.
“Hey,” Jack said.
Lane jumped. He toppled over the bench and landed roughly on his ass. Then, realizing what happened, he laughed with relief and fell back on the floor. Lane looked up at Jack. “You scared me.”
“No, really?” Jack laughed. He entered the room and leaned against the wall by the door. “What’re you up to?”
“I woke up with a song in my head and I was trying to get it out,” Lane explained. He made no move to pick himself up. “But now I’m on the floor. It’s kind of nice down here. I think I’m going to stay here until my heart decides to move from my throat back into my chest.”
Jack grinned. “Sorry.”
“No, no. It’s fine. I consider this payback for all the times I’ve wandered into your place unannounced over the years.”
“You think you could use some company?” Jack asked. “I don’t care if you want to keep playing. I can sit here in silence. I just don’t want to be alone right now.”
Lane’s lips twitched. “Something happened,” he said with concern. He picked himself up from the floor and brushed off his clothes. “Do you need coffee?”
“No.”
“Wine?”
“… Maybe.” Jack crossed his arms. “But no.”
“Beer.”
“Lane,” Jack warned.
Lane sighed. “All right. I know. I’m holding out on you. I’ve got some stronger stuff, too. You can help yourself to that.”
Jack rolled his eyes. “You don’t even know what the problem is.”
“I can guess,” Lane said. “You’re pretty good at keeping a poker face, but I’m pretty good at reading you, too. It’s got to do with Craig, right?”
Jack thinned his lips but didn’t reply.
“See? I knew it.” Lane stepped closer. They didn’t touch, but his proximity was good enough. “… I also might have seen you two leaving together this morning with Isaac, but you know, details.”
“It’s just…” Craig sighed and shook his head. “I feel so stupid.”
“You’re not stupid.” Lane clasped his arm and squeezed. “Don’t say that. It’s not your fault you have a crush. I know how hard it is to get over someone you care about.”
Jack shot him a dirty look.
“Well…” Lane backtracked. “I can imagine how hard it’d be. The thought of losing Roman makes me want to curl into a ball and die. I know you’re not really together or anything, but it must be close to the same feeling. What happened?”
“Can we sit?” Jack asked. He didn’t feel much like standing. As it was, it felt like his stomach was dragging on the floor.
“Let’s go back to the house,” Lane suggested. He led the way to the door. “You can sit on the couch and unwind. I’ll make us something to drink.”
“Something nonalcoholic,” Jack said. He followed.
Lane led him out of the studio and locked the door. Soon enough they were back in the half of the house Lane lived in. Jack settled on the couch while Lane busied himself in the kitchen. Before long Lane came back and set a tall glass of ice water in front of Jack.
“It’s water, right?” Jack asked suspiciously as he picked it up.
“If you drank that much vodka you m
ight actually die,” Lane said. “It’s water. I got one for myself, too.” He set his drink on the table, then pulled one of his armchairs over and tucked his legs beneath him as he sat in it. Jack watched. “So, what happened? Whatever it is sure has you upset.”
“Isaac’s mother came to the house,” Jack said. He picked up his glass of water and traced his fingers along the beads of condensation. “She threw a fit and insisted that Craig give her Isaac.”
“Did he?” Lane leaned a little closer.
“No. She wasn’t in her right frame of mind. She’d driven all the way from Los Angeles to come here and chew Craig out. She didn’t have any of the things she needed to care for Isaac, and she blamed Craig for it.”
“Jeez.” Lane laced his fingers together and fidgeted with them.
“And when Craig told her that it was in Isaac’s best interest to stay with us, she told him she was going to drive back to LA, file for custody, and charge him with kidnapping.”
“God.” Lane frowned. “Do you think it’s just an empty threat, or…?”
“I don’t know,” Jack admitted. “I don’t know anything about her other than that she’s Isaac’s mother and she was in rehab. Craig didn’t really talk about her all that much. I feel from the small amount of time I knew her that she would go through with it. She was so angry I was afraid she was going to start throwing punches.”
“Hmm.” Lane busied himself by reaching for his glass and taking a sip. After a thoughtful second, he said, “Then I guess you took Craig and Isaac to the airport this morning?”
“Yeah. They’re flying back to LA now.” Jack’s fingers were wet from the condensation. He drew them across his jeans. “I can’t go home. Everywhere I look, I see them. All of the baby things, and the smells, and just… just everything.”
“You know you’re welcome to stay here if you need to,” Lane said. “This unit has a guest bedroom, same as yours.”
“I’m going to have to go home eventually,” Jack said. “I’ve still got a life to live. I’ve got work to go to, and groceries to get, and messes to clean…”