“When my baby is gone for two months, do you think I wouldn’t want to see you the moment you got off the plane? Tell me about your stay in that frightful place.”
Petite, with an artfully styled riot of red curls that wasn’t her natural color, Melinda Watson tried never to look her age, yet tonight she looked much older than he remembered. There were carefully disguised dark circles under her eyes.
He wasn’t ready to talk about his time in Ohio. “Mom, what I want is a hot shower and to sleep for a week.”
“I thought you could use a lift back to your apartment.”
“I could have grabbed a cab. Where’s Michael?”
“I didn’t tell him you were coming today. I thought you and I could visit for a while.”
“All right. Let me get my bags.” He was tired, but he didn’t want to dampen her happiness. Besides, he had questions he needed to ask her.
“Marvelous.” She clapped her hands together. “Why don’t we have dinner at the Maui Fire? I hear it’s the hot new place.”
After catching his bags off the carousel, he followed his mother outside into the warm, tropical evening air. He could smell the sea. For the first time in his life it didn’t make him want to pick up his board. It reminded him of Amber…and her sea-green eyes glistening with tears.
How was he going to function if he couldn’t cross the airport parking lot without missing her so much his heart felt like a jumble of broken glass?
His mother continued to chat aimlessly on the drive. Watching the familiar sights of high-rise hotels and waving palm trees, he couldn’t help comparing the glitter and glitz to the simple rolling hills and plain white farmsteads of the Amish countryside.
“You’re very quiet,” she said, sneaking a peek at him.
“I’m tired.”
“A good dinner will perk you up in no time.”
He didn’t want food. He wanted answers. “Why did you tell me my father wanted to be a doctor?”
“Because he did!”
“Was that before or after he wanted to form his own rock band?”
She didn’t answer. Instead, she slowed the car and turned into the parking lot of one of the popular beaches, stopping the car where they faced the ocean. The waves came sweeping in, each topped with a whitecap of foam. His stomach was churning in much the same fashion.
After rolling down the windows, she turned the car off. Gripping the steering wheel, she stared straight ahead. “Phillip, I wasn’t a very good mother when you were young. I know that. I do.”
She turned to gaze at him. “But I’ve been a good mother since I met Michael, haven’t I? I love you. You know that, don’t you?”
“You’ve always done your best, Mom. I love you, too.”
“I know how excited you were to find your grandfather, but he isn’t a good man. Believe me, I know.”
Phillip drew a deep breath. Was he finally going to get to the bottom of this? “He is a good man, Mother. He’s kind and devoted to the Amish and his community.”
“Well, he wasn’t always that way. Your father and he never got along. Nothing Brendan did was good enough for Harold. Finding out that Brendan and I were planning to get married infuriated him. I wasn’t good enough for his only son.” Scorn dripped off her every word.
Phillip wasn’t sure he liked where this conversation was leading. “Some parents have trouble accepting their child’s new spouse at first. It normally changes over time.”
“Harold didn’t want his son tied down with a family at such a young age. He knew Brendan couldn’t handle it, that it would destroy his life. We were only nineteen and I was pregnant. We were as poor as dirt, living in Brendan’s van half the time. Oh, Brendan’s father had plenty of money. He could have helped us but he wanted his son to earn his own way.”
Phillip tried to imagine what his mother had gone through back then. “I’m sorry things were so difficult for you. I never knew.”
“And I never wanted you to know but there’s no point in hiding it any longer. Your grandfather came to me and offered me a lot of money.”
Phillip’s heart sank. “He paid you to leave my father?”
“He paid me to get rid of you.”
The blood rushed to Phillip’s brain and sent his head pounding. “I don’t believe it!”
Calmly, she replied, “It’s true. When Brendan found out, he flipped. He and your grandfather had a terrible fight. Brendan told his old man he’d find a way to support his wife and a child. Then he stormed out of the house and stopped at the first recruiting station he could find.”
“That’s why he joined the Marines?”
“Yes. We were married before he shipped out and he was killed three months later. It’s your grandfather’s fault that your father is dead.”
Leaning his head back against the seat rest, Phillip listened to the waves and struggled to digest all the information he’d been given. Had he wanted his grandfather to be a wonderful man so badly that he’d been blind to Harold’s faults? Perhaps that had been true, at first.
Phillip realized that he’d spent his life longing for something he could never have. He’d never have his father watch him at a ball game or sit in the audience at his graduation. Maybe he’d gone to medical school because he thought that was what his father would have wanted, but medicine was where Phillip belonged. It was his vocation.
Images of Amber slipped through his mind, quieting the turmoil inside him. Amber knew where she belonged in life. Now he finally did, too.
He couldn’t stay in Hawaii. He had to confront his grandfather, to find out if this was the truth or more of his mother’s manipulations.
Then he needed to tell Amber that he loved her. He’d been a fool to leave without telling her how he felt. If she returned his love, somehow he would to find a way to keep her in his life.
He looked at his mother. “Thanks for telling me this, Mom. I’d like to go to your house now. There are some important things I want you and Michael to hear together.”
Chapter Twenty-Four
Phillip got out of his rental car in front of Harold’s home late on a Saturday afternoon. It had been almost three weeks since he’d left Hope Springs. Because it was the weekend, Phillip was reasonably sure Harold would be in. He hadn’t called in advance. He wasn’t sure what he was going to say now that he was here. After knocking, he waited outside the door.
Thumping of crutches and grumbling on the other side alerted him before Harold yanked it open. The elderly man’s annoyed expression changed to happiness, then to guarded surprise. “Phillip. What are you doing here?”
What was he doing here? What did he hope to learn? The truth? Or more carefully crafted secrets? “I need to talk to you.”
The light died in Harold’s eyes. His face went ashen. “Your mother told you, didn’t she?”
“I want to hear your side of the story.”
The man seemed to grow older in front of Phillip’s eyes. “Then you’d better come in. I can’t be up long or this miserable leg begins to swell.”
Following his grandfather inside, Phillip sat on the sofa and waited until Harold settled himself in his recliner. He sighed loudly as he grimaced and leaned back. “Thought you might like to know that Martha Nissley got to come home.”
“That’s great. How is she doing?”
“She got all the feeling back in her legs. Looks like she’ll make a full recovery.”
“That’s great to hear.” Phillip nodded toward Harold’s walking cast. “How are you managing at the clinic?”
“I get around in a wheelchair for the most part. That young whippersnapper, Dr. Zook, is helping a lot.”
“I’m glad to hear he took the job.”
“He’s got his head on straight, but don’t tell him I said so.”
“I’ll leave that to you. I’m sure he’d like a little encouragement.” Any would be more than Harold had given Phillip.
Harold dismissed the idea with a wave of his hand. “I don’t need to give
him pats on the back. Amber and Wilma do it for me.”
“How is Amber?” Phillip was almost afraid to hear the answer but he was dying for any information about her.
“She has changed. She’s not herself, although she tries to be. Some of the light has gone out of her.”
Phillip dropped his gaze to his feet. He was to blame. “She’s a wonderful, strong woman. I’m sure she’ll be fine.”
“You didn’t come here to talk about Amber, did you?”
Raising his head, Phillip stared at Harold. “I came to get some straight answers.”
“All right. Ask away.”
Phillip hesitated. His mother had lied to him and manipulated him so many times in the past. Why should he trust what she’d told him about Harold? Would it alienate his grandfather to be accused of such horrible motives? Was that her plan all along?
Well, he hadn’t come all this way for nothing. “Is it true you tried to bribe my mother to get an abortion and to leave my dad?”
Harold closed his eyes. “Stupidest mistake I ever made. I had no idea how much Brendan loved her. What a terrible fight we had when he found out.”
“At least they wanted me.” Phillip couldn’t keep the bitterness out of his voice.
Harold folded his hands across his abdomen. “Did your mother tell you she took the money?”
Phillip blinked hard. Why wasn’t he surprised? No wonder she hadn’t wanted him to contact Harold. “She left that part out.”
“I never dreamed Brendan would enlist. I always thought we’d be able to mend things between us. Then he was killed. You are so like him. Looking at you is like looking into my past.”
“Why didn’t you take care of us after he died?”
“When Brendan was killed, your mother blamed me. At his funeral, the only time we saw each other again, she told me she’d gone through with the abortion and she never wanted to see me again. You have to understand. I held her responsible for my son’s death instead of accepting my share of the blame. I didn’t know and didn’t care where she went after that.”
Phillip struggled to find the words for what he was feeling. “We lived a hard life. She drank heavily. She got into drugs. I can’t count the times we were evicted from one rattrap or another. I can’t count the number of men she brought home. If it hadn’t been for Michael, I don’t know what would have happened to us.”
“Believe me when I tell you I’m glad your mother has found some happiness. I came to realize Brendan’s death and the loss of his child was my punishment for putting my own desires ahead of his love. In spite of what you think, I was doing what I thought was best for my son. Had I known about you, I would have moved heaven and earth to find you.”
Seeing the sincerity in his grandfather’s eyes, Phillip felt he had the truth at last. “I believe that.”
“After your father died, I couldn’t stay in Boston. Everything reminded me of him and my horrible mistake. My wife had died when Brendan was five. There was nothing to keep me there. I sold all I had and came here. I hoped to find forgiveness and peace working among these simple and faithful people.”
Phillip wasn’t done with his questions. “When I suggested you retire and come live near me, why did you become so upset?”
Harold rubbed his jaw with one hand. “Because I was terrified my sins would come to light. I didn’t want to lose you the way I lost your father.”
“When you ran in front of my car, why were you trying to stop me?”
“I realized I couldn’t come back to Hope Springs and live among the Plain People with that terrible secret in my heart. I had to tell you the truth.” The corners of his mouth quirked upward. “I honestly had no intention of getting run down.”
“I thank God each day you weren’t killed.”
“I thank God He has given me the chance to right the terrible wrong I did you and your mother.”
Harold struggled to stand. Phillip moved to assist him. When he was on his feet and steady, he gripped Phillip’s arm and looked into his eyes. “Can you forgive me?”
Phillip had the truth now. More than he wanted to know. It was all so sad and so unnecessary. He had it within his power to lay a lifetime of unhappiness to rest, for both of them.
Phillip covered his grandfather’s hand with his own. “Yes, I can.”
The old man’s eyes closed and he swayed. Frightened, Phillip quickly helped him into his chair. “Are you all right, Grandfather?”
“I’m fine. I’m fine for the first time in a long while. Thank you.”
“Can I get you something?”
“Great-grandchildren.”
Phillip’s worry slipped away. Relief made him smile. “I was thinking along the lines of a glass of water.”
Harold sat up and took a deep breath. “That would be nice, too. You are going to marry Amber, aren’t you? She loves you. You’re a fool if you don’t know that.”
Amber was bone-tired by the time she returned home. The delivery had gone well. Both mother and child were happy and healthy. She should have been thrilled, but all through the long hours of labor she kept thinking about the time she and Phillip spent with Mary and her family. Remembering their time together was still painful but she didn’t cry as often anymore.
After parking in her driveway, Amber walked toward the house with lagging steps. Everything took more energy since Phillip had gone. Walking, eating, getting out of bed, it was all so hard to do. How much longer would this malaise affect her? It already felt like a lifetime had passed since he went away.
At the steps, she heard a meow from the end of the porch. For a second she thought it was Fluffy, then she remembered that her cat was gone, too. It had to be one of the neighborhood cats.
Fluffy was back with the family who loved him. At least that had ended well. When Amber reached the front door, she heard a second meow.
Turning to see whose cat had come for a visit, she froze in shock. Phillip sat in her wicker chair with a box at his feet. Afraid to blink in case he vanished, she kept staring, trying to make herself believe it was true.
Rising to his feet, he said, “Hello, Amber.”
He wasn’t a figment of her imagination. Her heart thudded painfully against the inside of her chest. It took every ounce of self-control she possessed to keep from flinging herself into his arms. “Phillip? What are you doing here?”
He smiled but she saw the uncertainty in his eyes. “I had to see you again.”
Looking away before he could read the longing on her face, she fumbled to get her keys out of her purse. Finally, she found them and attempted to open her lock. When they tumbled out of her shaky fingers she knew there was no use pretending she was okay.
She closed her eyes and leaned her head against the door. “I can’t do this again, Phillip.”
In a few steps he was beside her, not touching her, but surrounding her with his masculine warmth. “I’m sorry. I had to see you.”
Bending down, he picked up her keys. She stayed strong until he placed them in her palm and tenderly closed his fingers over hers. He whispered, “I’ve missed you, Amber.”
His soft words were her undoing. She melted into his arms as he gathered her close. “Oh, Phillip, I’ve missed you so much.”
“I love you. I never want to leave you again.”
“I can’t bear it, Phillip. I can’t stay here without you.”
Brushing her damp cheeks with his knuckle, he asked in surprise, “You would come to Hawaii?”
“Yes, if you want me. I can’t be more unhappy there than I’ve been here these past three weeks.”
“My poor darling. I don’t want you to be unhappy anywhere. I don’t want you to give up the things you love most.”
She buried her face against his chest. “I love you the most. So we are right back where we started from because I know you will never be happy practicing small-town medicine.”
He rocked her gently in his embrace. “We’re not exactly back where we started from.
I know that I love you and I know that you love me.”
“True.”
Leaning back, he looked down at her. “I have something for you.”
“What?” Wiping her face with both hands, she took a step back, already missing the warmth of his body and the comfort of his arms around her.
Picking up the box by the chair, he held it out. “Open it. Doctor’s orders.”
As she started to take the top off, she heard a tiny meow. It was then she noticed the holes poked in the sides of the box. Phillip said, “I know you miss Fluffy.”
The moment the top came off, a white kitten raised its head over the lip. Amber gasped in delight. “Oh, he’s beautiful.”
Phillip looked quite pleased with himself. “I’m glad you like him. He’s all yours. No one is going to take him back.”
“He’s just what I’ve been needing. What a wonderful gift. Thank you.”
“I’m not done.” Phillip put the top on the box and took it from her. The kitten protested as he set it aside. Drawing a deep breath, he withdrew several packets from his jacket and offered them to her.
Puzzled, Amber took them. Tilting them toward the porch light she saw they were celery seed packets. Her lip quivered as she pressed a hand to her chest. “Oh, Phillip.”
He dropped to one knee in front of her. “Amber Bradley, will you marry me?”
Speechless, she stared at him as happiness strummed the cords of her heart. Joy unlike anything she’d ever known sent her blood humming. On the heels of that intense joy came a quick downer dose of common sense.
She bit her lower lip. What should she do? If she said yes, one of them would have to give up their dreams. Yet how could she bear to say no and lose his wonderful love? Finally, she said, “Maybe.”
He sat back on his heel. “Maybe? I thought your only choices were yes or no.”
“I want to marry you, but I’m afraid.”
“Of what?” He rose to his feet and took her in his arms once more.
“I’m afraid I’ll be miserable away from the Amish and I’ll make you miserable, too.” If they could only stay this way forever, encircled in each other’s arms, surrounded by love.
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