“Get out of my way, Wreg.” The words came out more hostile than he intended. He forced his tone lower before he went on, averting his gaze. “You said to tell you if I needed space. I need space. Right now.”
“Jon… brother. Please. Please. Don’t go like this… please.”
Jon shook his head, trying to step around the taller man, but Wreg moved to block his way. Jon realized his fists were clenched even as his arms tightened at his sides. He couldn’t think clearly, didn’t seem able to pull his mind into any space he could recognize.
He wanted to hurt the man, and he’d never wanted to hurt anyone before. Not like this. He shouldn’t ever want to hurt someone he was sleeping with.
But that made no sense to the other part of his mind, either.
That pain was back, worse than before, making it difficult to think through the rest.
This isn’t me, he found himself thinking.
He wasn’t this guy. He’d never been this guy. As much as he loved Revik, he hated how utterly pathological he got over Allie, how he seemed almost willing to hurt her to keep her from leaving him, psychologically or otherwise.
Now he felt the same. He was doing the same fucking thing. Right now.
With a man he’d only been sleeping with for a few weeks.
A man he barely knew.
Jesus. He really was turning into one of them.
Feeling his throat close, he tried to push past Wreg again, but the seer caught his arm.
“No. Brother… no!” His voice held more of that fear. “Jon… this is normal. It is normal for one of us. Right now it is. But it won’t last. I swear to the gods, it won’t. Please. Please, don’t make this about me… don’t make it about us.”
“This?” Jon wiped his face angrily. “This is normal Wreg? Really? Because I want to fucking stab you right now… or maybe punch you in the face.”
“I know, brother… I know you do. But it’s all right. I trust you. You can control this.”
“You shouldn’t trust me, Wreg. You really shouldn’t right now.”
“I know this is new for you,” Wreg said, his voice gruff. “I know it is, but it is normal. It doesn’t happen with everyone, but it does happen.”
“Not to me,” Jon snapped. “This isn’t normal for me––”
“Yes… it is normal for you, Jon. Goddamn it, you need to face this!” Wreg’s hands tightened on his arms. “It is normal now. You’re not used to it, I know, and I’m so very sorry I caused this, brother. But it’s who you are now. Who you are becoming––”
“No.” Jon shook his head, shoving the seer’s hands off him. “No, goddamn it.” It was the only word that made sense to him, the only one he could hold on to. “Then no, man. I won’t.” He shook his head. “I’m sorry. I won’t. I won’t walk this ‘normal seer’ road with you, Wreg. This isn’t me. I don’t give a fuck what you say. This isn’t me. I won’t do it!”
He shoved at the seer’s chest as he said it, forcing his way past. He hurt him that time, and winced along with the seer, even as that darker feeling twisted in his gut.
That time, Wreg got out of his way.
Guilt wrenched at Jon when he remembered the other’s injuries, but he didn’t stop walking.
All he could think was: go, get the fuck out of there.
He felt grief on Wreg, a hard pulse that nearly stopped him in his tracks, screwing up the rhythm of his steps enough that he half-stumbled in the living room, feeling his throat close until he couldn’t breathe. He walked faster for the door, not stopping for his things, not even looking for the bag on his way out.
He didn’t take another breath until he reached the elevator at the end of the hall.
Wreg didn’t follow him. The suite door remained closed.
Jamming his finger on the down arrow, Jon shut his light tighter, almost in desperation as he put his hands over his ears, fighting to get the other’s light away from his.
He could feel Wreg still, even behind his attempts to shield.
The seer slammed against his light in erratic bursts, nearly in a state of panic. Jon blanked his mind as the doors opened in front of him, bringing a relief that closed his throat. Entering the car, he prayed there wouldn’t be another earthquake so the ex-Rebel wouldn’t be forced to fish him out of the elevators, on top of everything else.
Thumbing the first numbered button that came into his head, he checked his back pocket only after the elevator car was already moving, letting out an exhale when he found the card key where he’d left it.
He didn't think another coherent thought until the elevator let him off.
Even then, Wreg didn’t leave his light alone, not until Jon got on his headset and told the front desk not to issue Wreg a key to his room, no matter what the reason.
The seer working the desk stammered a bit, but agreed.
After that, Jon didn’t feel Wreg anymore.
24
ACCELERATION
I THOUGHT I was dreaming at first, when the pounding started.
Well, I was dreaming, just not that part.
Since I wove the pounding into the sound of the dreams, I couldn’t tell the difference.
When Revik shook me gently awake, I fought to keep my eyes closed, protesting with feeble sounds when he only gripped me tighter. I felt the strong need to stay in the dream, if only to see what happened next.
I needed to see it. This felt like my only chance.
By then, the sound at the door had become a fleet of helicopters pounding over the ridge of snow-covered mountains––
“Baby, wake up,” he murmured against my cheek. “Someone’s here.”
“Who?” I mumbled, my eyes still closed.
Revik extended his light. I felt him so strongly, I knew the answer before he voiced it aloud.
“Gaos… it’s Wreg. Something’s wrong, Allie.”
I fought to wake up, actually trying that time, even as Revik slid off his side of the bed.
I rolled to my back as he was already fumbling in the dark with the handles to the dresser, jerking open drawers until he found a shirt and a pair of pants. The pounding started up again, but that time, I felt Revik send a pulse, telling him we were coming.
Once he had, the knocking abruptly stopped.
I glanced at the clock. We’d only been asleep a few minutes.
Revik’s hair was still wet, which meant mine had to be, too.
I watched him step into black pants, sans underwear.
Feeling the beginnings of pain warming my belly, I fought to control my light, watching as he fastened the front of the pants. His eyes glowed faintly in the dark room, and I found myself staring at him even after he was more or less dressed, a long, dark-brown shirt thrown over his shoulders, but open in the front.
He walked quickly to the bed, his own light snaking out. He shook me gently with his hands, but I felt pain on him, too.
“Hey,” he murmured, kissing me. “Stop flirting with me and get up. It’s something about Jon. I need you.”
My light woke up for real.
I sat up and swung my legs out of bed.
I was fumbling through a different set of drawers when Revik left for the other room. I pulled a long-sleeved, stretchy shirt over my head when Revik returned briefly, just long enough to dump the combat gear we’d left on the living room floor near the bathroom door.
“I’m going to let him in, okay?” he said.
I nodded, sending him a pulse of warmth.
He gave me a smile before heading back to the other room.
Throwing on a pair of underwear and pants, I stuffed the combat clothes into the laundry chute after extracting the guns and holsters. I even stuffed in the organic boots, knowing the crews at the laundry services would know what to do with them.
I opened my light as I finished, hearing Wreg and Revik talking in the other room.
Immediately, I got slammed with enough pain to catch my breath.
Fear hit me, hard en
ough that I only stood there for a moment, trembling.
I’d been about to leave the guns on the floor, but I abruptly changed my mind, tugging a holster around my shoulders and using the velcro to strap it on. Checking that the magazine was still full on my gun, I shoved the muzzle into the holster and threw a long-sleeved shirt over it, checking Revik’s gun, too, before I grabbed a heavier shirt for him and holstered his gun in a second shoulder holster.
Contemplating sneakers, I abandoned the idea, grabbing a second set of boots out of the closet for each of us, after going through drawers to find socks.
I entered the adjacent room, shutting the bedroom door behind me.
From the area of the couch, Revik and Wreg both looked over.
The latter was sitting down, holding a glass of something Revik must have poured him.
That wasn’t what made me stare.
Unless I was completely hallucinating, which I didn’t rule out in any way, Wreg was crying. I was still staring at him when he wiped his eyes with the back of his hand, averting his gaze from mine.
I walked towards them without thinking, handing Revik the holster, his boots and socks.
He sent me an appreciative pulse, and immediately shouldered on the holster, strapping it over his chest and over the clean shirt he’d finished buttoning. I watched him start with the boots as I lowered my weight to do the same, sitting on the coffee table in front of the couch.
I never took my eyes off Wreg, even when I felt a pulse of caution from Revik.
Fear pounded my light, and I could barely see either of them in those few seconds, but I forced myself to remain still, waiting for Wreg to speak, for one of them to explain.
Neither did.
Instead it was silent, apart from me and Revik putting on and buckling boots, and Revik pulling on the long shirt I’d brought him.
“What’s wrong?” I said finally, my voice taut.
I glanced at Revik, but he only frowned. He yanked the shirt the rest of the way around his back, glancing towards the door to the outside corridor.
“What’s wrong?" I said again, sharper. “Is Jon okay?”
I glanced at Revik, but he only frowned, shaking his head slightly.
“He’s fine. Physically, anyway. Wreg told him.” Revik gave me a bare glance. “About the thing at the Rebel base. After the Registry job.”
I felt a crushing sensation surround most of the center of my chest.
“Where is he?” I said. “Now. Where is Jon?”
“He didn’t take it well, Allie––” Revik began.
“He left me.” Wreg shook his head, his long jaw hard as he stared at the far wall. “He didn’t come out and say it… but he fucking left me. I felt it all over his light. He wasn’t just mad at me for what I did. He wasn’t even mad at either of you. He doesn’t like how he is with me. He doesn’t like what he thinks I’ve done to him.”
“Wreg… Jesus.” I winced, reacting to the pain coming off him. Shielding from his light, I gritted my teeth, glancing at Revik. I saw pain on him, too, right before he sat down next to the other male. Massaging his good shoulder with one hand, he looked at me.
I felt his light reacting more, pulling on mine.
“This is temporary, Wreg.” Revik’s voice was soothing, holding more conviction than I could make myself feel, at least while in the vicinity of Wreg’s light. “…It has to be. You’re not thinking clearly right now. Neither of you. He’s going to get past this.”
Wreg shook his head, jaw hard. Revik continued to massage his shoulder.
“He’s not only reacting to you,” Revik said. “He’s not sure if he wants to be a seer. He has no choice in that. He has to adjust.”
He glanced over, giving me an apologetic look before he shrugged.
“…He hated how I got with Allie,” he admitted. “I felt that on him. More than once. More than a few times, even. He thinks he’s acting the same way with you. It’s screwing with who he thought he was. It’s an identity problem, brother. And a crisis of ethics. It’s not you.”
“I know all that.” Wreg wiped his eyes with his hand again, shaking his head. “I know. But you didn’t fucking see him. You didn’t hear him, Nenz.”
“Brother, it doesn’t matter. It doesn’t. You know how we seers get. You can’t assume Jon’s words are any different. It is hard for him now. He’s not used to controlling this.”
“I know.” Wreg nodded, exhaling. “I know. I am sorry. I am sorry for coming here.”
Remembering Wreg was the person Revik had gone to whenever he had a problem with me, I swallowed, glancing at Revik.
I should go, shouldn’t I? Leave the two of you alone. I hesitated. Does Wreg want me to talk to Jon?
Revik frowned, glancing at Wreg before he said aloud, “I’m not sure that’s such a good idea, wife. Wreg said it’s you he’s angriest about.” When Wreg looked between us, Revik sighed, clicking softly. “She’s wondering if she should try talking to Jon.”
I’m not sure what I expected, but Wreg’s eyes positively lit up, taking me aback.
“You’ve been through this too, right?” Wreg said to me, that light of hope in his black eyes. “…The waking part, I mean. The possessiveness thing? Nenz told me you had all of that fairly early on with him, too.”
“Oh, did he now?” I gave Revik a mock questioning look, maybe in an effort to lighten the mood.
“Could you just explain to him that this is normal?” Wreg said, going on as if he hadn’t heard me. “Maybe if he just remembers you went through all the same things––”
Revik clicked though, loudly enough to cut him off.
I glanced over, a little surprised when I saw him glance sharply between the two of us.
Worry shone in his eyes when they met mine.
“No. It’s just… I don’t know, Wreg.” He focused directly on the other man, his voice apologetic. “Jon doesn’t feel all that stable to me right now. Neither of you do, brother, if you want the truth. Are you sure he won’t hurt my wife?”
I looked at Revik, giving a startled laugh.
When I saw his eyes, I realized he wasn’t in any way joking. He continued to look at me, that vague worry more prominent in his gaze.
“Maybe we could send Balidor,” Revik suggested after a pause. “Or one of the others? Yumi, perhaps? They are friends, are they not?”
Wreg’s eyes hardened to coal. “No. Are you kidding me? Fuck, no. That bitch already wants to get into his pants.”
I sighed, rolling my eyes. “He’s gay, Wreg.”
Wreg glared at me. “Respectfully, Esteemed Bridge, he’s seer now… do you really think those distinctions matter all that much any more?”
Revik cut us both off, giving me a warning look.
“Maybe I could go,” he said. “Honestly, I’m not okay with it being Allie. Definitely not if she went over there unexpectedly, but really, not even if we warned him. I’m not willing to risk it, brother. Do not ask me to. Please.”
I found myself staring at Revik incredulously again.
I could tell from his expression he was dead serious.
He’d never interfered in anything between me and Jon before, so that uncompromising look on his face threw me. I considered trying to find Jon with my light, but Revik blocked that, too, giving me a harder look. His light had a thread of apology in it, almost a plea woven in with the warning, but his expression didn’t budge.
“Please, Allie,” he said, quieter. “I’m making a formal request.”
I blinked at him, startled again.
I could count on one hand the number of times he’d played that card with me. He really didn’t want me going to Jon’s room.
“Can you feel him?” I said. “Is it really that bad?”
“I felt enough,” Revik said. “…Before he kicked me out of his light. He’s irate that Wreg’s even here. In fact,” Revik said, glancing at the other male. “We really should go down to the bar. Let him feel you there, with Jax and s
ome of the others. Then I’ll go talk to him, if you want. But I think if we do anything before that, he’s going to lose his shit. Really.”
I found myself listening to all this with the same thread of disbelief.
“This is Jon we’re talking about,” I said. “Right? Mr. Level-Headed? He was always sanity guy with this stuff. With relationships, I mean.”
“Not anymore.” Revik said. He looked at Wreg. “Your light. You noticed the changes, didn’t you? Since Argentina?”
Wreg nodded, his expression looking miserable again. He combed his fingers through wet hair, and I found myself staring at him, and at his light, until Revik shoved me back roughly, his eyes a hard glare on mine.
Stay the fuck away from him right now, he sent, sharp. I mean it, Allie!
I felt my face grow hot. I’m trying to help.
And I’m trying to keep you from getting shot by your own brother, Revik returned angrily, even as Wreg let out a clicking exhale.
I was too lost in Revik’s words to hear the first part of what Wreg said.
“––on the plane, I admit,” he said, sighing again. “I was too busy trying to keep him together after the Cass thing. But yeah, I noticed. I never got a chance to talk to him about it.”
“Noticed what?” I looked between them, again feeling about ten steps behind everyone else and starting to get angry because of it. “What happened to Jon?”
“Some kind of acceleration,” Revik said, clicking. “I don’t know if it’s because of what Shadow did with the disease, forcing the timeline faster, or if it’s something to do with us.”
“Us? Like… you and me?”
“The Four, Esteemed Bridge.” Wreg met my gaze, his eyes apologetic. “The scriptures say having the Four together, in one room like that, speeds everything up. Varlan told us Stanley is different now, too. If we can believe that fuck,” he grunted, sounding almost like his old self.
“Jon’s speeding up?” I said. “…Again?”
“Enough to form a preliminary bond structure with Wreg.” Revik winced as he looked at me, even before I had time to react. “…I saw it on the plane, Allie,” he added quickly. “I would have told you, I swear to the gods. You were asleep.”
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