Wreg stared at him, his eyes now incredulous.
“I’m not Nenzi,” he said. “And gods above, he said that to his own wife?”
When Jon continued to stare down at him, his eyebrow raised, Wreg’s expression grew more taut, right before his jaw hardened.
“Jon, trust me when I tell you… that’s not an issue. Your light drives me out of my fucking mind. Nenz’s first wife may have been a lovely human… but she was human.”
Jon gave an irritated snort, his jaw clenching. “So am I, Wreg.”
“No, Jon… you’re not. And don’t take my words as offensive, please. I am merely stating fact. What he wanted from her had nothing to do with his prick. He wanted to get further into her light than she was capable of letting him. He wanted to get further inside of her. The physicality, it aids with this, but it is totally besides the point.”
Hesitating, he met Jon’s gaze, propping his upper body up on his elbows.
“I don’t know if you want to hear this,” he said, cautious. “But my light reacts more to yours than it did to my wife’s. More than it does to anyone’s I’ve ever been inside, male or female. Trust me when I tell you… my cock is not ‘missing’ anything, Jon. It is all connected, and we’ve only been together for a short time. You still don’t open to me as much as I want.”
Jon looked at him, frowning, but not because he didn’t believe him.
He found the pain in his chest worsening instead, getting bad enough that he couldn’t turn any of what he felt into words. Pulling himself to his feet, he tugged up his pants, fighting another flush of pain when he felt the seer staring at him.
He avoided Wreg’s eyes as he did up his belt, pulling his shirt down over the same as he watched the seer surreptitiously, out of his peripheral vision. He saw and felt Wreg wince as he sat up, from putting too much weight on his hurt arm. He felt Wreg’s eyes on him a second time, even as that pain in Jon’s light worsened.
“What is it?” Wreg said. “What did I say?” Concern bled into his voice, even as more pain left his light. “Jon, damn it… don’t misunderstand my reactions, please. You’re giving me a damned hard-on, but I can feel something is wrong. What is it? Don’t get pissed off because I react whenever you open your light, please.”
Jon shook his head. “It’s not that.”
“Then what? What did I do?”
“You didn’t do anything, Wreg.” Forcing out another breath, Jon looked at the seer, his eyes drawn to the man’s broad chest as Wreg hooked his belt. Jon tried to decide if he should go on, and averted his gaze, shaking his head instead.
Feeling the coil of grief off the other man, along with a deeper, somehow sadder tug of pain, Jon found himself looking at Wreg again, even before the other spoke.
“Are you still not sure about me, brother?” Wreg said.
Clicking a little under his breath, Jon walked back to the seer, sitting beside him on the cushion without meeting his gaze. Moving closer, he distracted himself by tugging on a wet spot on Wreg’s long, collared shirt.
“You probably shouldn’t wear that outside.” Jon’s jaw tightened right before he swallowed, avoiding the other’s gaze. “Do you want me to get someone to bring you a new one?”
Wreg looked at him blankly, then down at his shirt. Looking back up at Jon, his eyes grew harder again, even as Jon saw them grow suddenly bright.
“Hey, man, wait…” Jon held up a hand, shifting closer. He slid up against him on the cushions, using a peace gesture. “Brother, hey. I’m stalling, not blowing you off.” He slid a hand into the seer’s black hair, caressing it back from his face. Feeling another ripple off Wreg’s light, Jon shook his head, his throat suddenly tight.
“Please,” he said, and heard pain in his own voice. “Just give me a minute, okay? Don’t mistake what I’m feeling right now… please, Wreg.”
Wreg averted his eyes, nodding as he stared at the far wall.
“What are you feeling, Jon?” he said. “You still haven’t told me.”
“Terror,” Jon said promptly. “Abject, no-holds-barred terror.” Pausing, he ran his fingers over the seer’s jaw. “Revik. He made it sound like that thing you said you wanted––the last time we were here at the hotel, I mean, before Argentina––he made it sound like it was already happening.”
Shrugging with one hand when Wreg looked at him, Jon lowered the same hand down to Wreg’s thigh, averting his gaze.
“…Is that possible?” he said.
Wreg cleared his throat, shrugging his broad shoulders.
“It is possible, yes,” he admitted, his eyes holding an apology. “Nenz noticed something on the plane. Something that wasn’t there before.”
Jon nodded, swallowing without looking up. “How far along is it?”
“I don’t know. Honestly, I’d barely noticed it myself.” Hesitating, he added with a seer’s shrug, “Nenz wanted to know if I’d asked you formally.”
Still watching Jon’s face, a thread of nerves in his dark eyes, he held up his hands.
Jon couldn’t help staring at the colored tattoos on both of Wreg’s muscular arms.
“I didn’t do it intentionally, brother. Please believe me,” Wreg said. “I had no intention of deceiving you… of doing anything until we’d had a chance to talk. Really, I’d intended to wait on the talking even, until you had a chance to know me more.”
Jon nodded, sighing. He’d figured as much.
“I didn't think you did anything on purpose, Wreg. I just wondered if you knew.”
Realizing he really did trust the other seer, Jon exhaled again, still tugging on Wreg’s shirt. Pulling him closer, he kissed his mouth, letting himself fall briefly back into Wreg’s light.
Within seconds, his own light slid out of his control.
He fought to pull it back even as he kissed Wreg harder. Wreg had his hand on Jon’s cock a moment later, and the pain worsened––enough that he let out a low sound, pressing his body against Wreg’s hand. Then he was rocking against his fingers and palm as he kissed him again, his hands under the seer’s shirt as he gripped his back, massaging Wreg’s own erection with his other hand. He lost it when Wreg abruptly came, pressing his whole body against his, his skin hot enough to shock Jon into remembering what they were doing.
When Wreg didn’t stop massaging him, Jon climaxed before Wreg finished, still kissing his mouth as he dug his hand into the seer’s back.
Wreg’s eyes were glazed, holding an overt pain as he looked at Jon.
“We both need clothes now,” Jon managed, leaning his head against Wreg’s shoulder. “Can you call someone?” More pain hit his light, enough to close his eyes. “Fuck… Wreg. I feel so not ready for this.”
Raising his head, he looked into the seer’s face, even as he felt another pull of aggression in his own light.
“I want to go upstairs,” he told him. “I want to fuck again… my whole body hurts.”
Seeing pain rise abruptly in the other man’s light, Jon shook his head.
“We can’t,” he said. “Don’t you get it? We can’t, Wreg… not now. Let’s give it a few days at least. A week, if we’re being remotely responsible.” Sighing in defeat, he added, “If nothing else, we need to give your shoulder time to heal. From what Allie told me, it would be pretty easy for us to hurt each other as it is.” He shrugged, using his mutilated hand almost without noticing he did it. “We need to warn the others. Set up some kind of backup system until we come up for air. You need to set things up for your team. I have to find people to start training the humans, in case we’re out of it for more than a few weeks.”
Wreg looked at him, his eyes holding understanding, even as he seemed to be battling with another influx of pain. Clenching his jaw, he just nodded.
Jon saw his eyes blur, and waited, knowing Wreg had gone into the Barrier.
He was out a second later. He glanced down at Jon’s clothes.
“I asked the concierge. About bringing us clothes. We’ll get enou
gh shit from the rest of those assholes as it is.” He grunted. Still avoiding Jon’s eyes, he added, “I gave him our rough sizes, but I had to guess for you.”
When Jon continued to watch his face, Wreg turned. His dark eyes were sharp again, holding a scrutiny that made him look like the high-ranked infiltrator he was.
“Are you agreeing to me, Jon?” Wreg’s voice held the same no-bullshit tone as his eyes. “I need you to be clear with me about this, brother. It’s okay if you’re not agreeing… or if you’re not sure. But I need you to tell me, now, where you are with this.”
Jon leaned back, resting his weight on the cushion.
“I am,” he said. “Agreeing. I won’t lie… the idea scares the living shit out of me. But it’s what my light wants. I’m not sure I could fight that, even if I wanted to. And I don’t want to.”
Hesitating, he raised his eyes, looking directly into Wreg’s.
“Allie told me these kinds of connections are always two ways,” he said. “She said it doesn’t really matter who initiates it on the outside. That the connections themselves, meaning the energetic side of things, can only happen if both people want it.” Jon paused, trying to read Wreg’s expression. “Is that how you understand it, too?”
Wreg nodded. A stunned look had come to his eyes, one that didn't seem overly connected to the movement of his head.
Jon nodded back, almost to himself.
“Well. So… yeah.” He sighed, laying a hand on Wreg’s thigh. “Then I ‘agree,’ if that isn’t already a moot point. I just don’t want to be stupid about it, you know? There’s too much going on right now. They need you, Wreg.”
Wreg stared at him. Jon felt pain on the other seer, worsening as his shock faded.
Then Wreg let out a half-humorous snort, if a bit belatedly.
“They need me?” Wreg rolled his eyes. “Little brother… I don’t even register on the map compared to you, not anymore. I don't have ‘command’ written by my name on those lists. I’m not supposed to single-handedly bring the human soldiers to their full potential.” Smiling a little at Jon’s teeth-gritted look, Wreg gripped the collar of Jon’s shirt. “You’d better let me find somewhere else to sleep tonight, brother… I mean it.”
Jon shook his head. “Take the suite. My stuff’s not moved yet. I’ll find somewhere else to sleep for now.” He paused, nerves vibrating his light. “Do you want me to tell Allie and Revik?”
Wreg clicked softly, smiling still.
The smile seemed to exude from his very light now.
“I’m reasonably sure they know,” Wreg said. “But you can tell them formally, if you want. I can feel Nenz at the bar still. I don’t know where your sister is.” Frowning a bit, he added, “Neither does Nenz. It’s bugging him, actually.”
Jon nodded. “Yeah. I know.”
He glanced over his shoulder, feeling a warning ping, right before Wreg answered it with his light. The door to their private room opened, quickly enough that Jon found himself pulling himself clumsily to his feet, attempting to salvage some semblance of dignity, despite how they must look. Seeing the male seer standing there, holding a stack of men’s clothes, including what looked like brand-new underwear, didn’t help.
Jon felt his face grow hot, even as he grew momentarily grateful for the dim lighting of the room.
The concierge set the pile on the table, along with a cloth bag that he indicated with polite hand gestures should be used with their soiled clothes and anything else they wanted washed.
Gesturing a polite response and thank you, Wreg chuckled a bit when the seer spared a grin at him, lifting one eyebrow in Jon’s direction.
Winking at Wreg, he sent him a pulse of light before he turned on his heel to leave the room.
Fighting a more aggressive reaction, Jon gave Wreg a quizzical look, after the man shut the door.
Wreg must have felt the other, though, because he gave Jon a careful look.
“Do not worry, brother. I know him,” he explained. “A bunch of us have a rik-jum game, every second Tuesday. He owes me a shitload of money… that’s why I asked him. I knew he would not mind.”
Wreg was on his feet again, too. Watching Jon’s face, his eyes still careful, Wreg slid a hand around his shoulder, rubbing him there gently, as if he’d noticed the muscles that had grown taut from the interruption––and, well, from more than that, if Jon were being totally honest.
After a few more seconds of Wreg’s light and hands, Jon felt his body giving in, even as his eyes closed.
“Sorry,” he said, not meeting Wreg’s gaze.
“He knows about us,” Wreg told him reassuringly. “Do not worry, brother. He knew before. A lot of seers did. The look was him congratulating me––not flirting. That rik-jum game was pure compassion on their part. They did it to distract me… and to give me an excuse to get drunk.” Gesturing towards the door with one hand, he grunted in vague embarrassment. “I drove everyone crazy back then. They probably let me win at cards, too.”
Jon nodded, trying to get the words to make sense to him. They did, to his mind, anyway, but he could still feel that part of his light struggling.
To distract himself, he walked out from under Wreg’s hand and to the stack of clothes.
Pulling the smaller of the two sets off the pile, he tossed them down on the set of cushions across from where Wreg had been sitting. Without glancing at Wreg, he tugged his soiled shirt over his head, conscious suddenly of how badly he needed a shower.
He wished he’d thought to ask Wreg to tell them to bring fresh socks, then realized there were some in the pile. Sighing, he bent down to unhook the clasps of the organic military-grade boots, his belt and pants already half undone. He got the first boot off before he realized Wreg hadn’t moved to start changing his own clothes.
When he glanced up, Wreg’s eyes were on him instead. He was shielding his light, so Jon hadn’t felt him, but pain eclipsed the normal expression on the seer’s face.
“Jesus, Wreg.” Jon laughed. “Pull it together, man. We’re going out in public.”
Wreg crossed the room before he finished speaking, moving before Jon managed to unbuckle the straps on the second boot. When he grabbed hold of Jon, it nearly made him fall, right before Jon straightened to stare the seer full in the face.
Wreg coiled an arm around his waist, holding them lightly together, and Jon grew uncomfortably aware of the other man’s body again.
“Hey,” Jon said, swallowing. “We just talked about this, right?” Feeling his light react sharply when he felt the seer’s erection, he fought to pull away. “Didn’t we just talk about this? Cut it out, man… seriously. I can’t deal with this right now…”
Wreg scarcely seemed to hear him. His dark eyes studied Jon’s face, as if oblivious to the pain coming off both of them.
“This is permanent, Jon. You understand that, right?” Swallowing when Jon looked up at his words, Wreg made a vague gesture with the hand not holding Jon’s bare back. “This is not me being rational. I love you… I don’t want you to regret this. I don’t want you to agree to something you might view as harm later. I want to make sure you understand what this means. It won’t be like any relationship you’ve had before.”
His words cut off when Jon gripped him tightly around the back. He held him tighter when Wreg closed his eyes, sending the taller seer a harder, more deliberate pulse. Wrapping his arms around Wreg’s body, Jon fought to control his light.
“I know it’s permanent,” Jon said. “I know that, I really do. But honestly, that is such an impossible idea to me, I can only go with what I know right now.” He hesitated, swallowing as he tried to smile. “At this point, I’m just really hoping you aren’t actually multiple-personality guy, like my sister’s husband… or some kind of closet sociopath.”
Wreg smiled. His light grew softer. Something in it grew sadder, too.
“There’s still a lot you don’t know about me, brother,” he said.
Jon nodded. Reme
mbering the glimpses he’d gotten of the Rebel base, along with things Allie told him, both about the last rebellion and the one that happened during World War I, he nodded again, his chest constricting.
“Yeah.” He sighed, without moving away from where he leaned on Wreg’s broad chest. “Do you want me to know more? Before we do this?”
Wreg hesitated. Jon felt the other seer’s light on his again, maybe even scanning him.
After another pause, Wreg nodded, as if making up his mind.
“I think so, yes.” His voice held a thread of nerves, but Jon didn’t hear any avoidance there. “I think you should know a few things… before we complete things, I mean. I would rather you see me clearly, Jon. Or as much as possible, given the number of years I’d have to relate for you to get a complete picture.”
He hesitated, shrugging again.
“…It is tradition, you know, to interview others, even. You could speak to Tarsi. Nenz. There are others among the Rebels who would know things. I will give you names, if you like. Most would be happy to share memories with you. You have the right to ask that, as well. For Barrier views of my past, if you like… including from me.”
He sounded worried that time, but Jon only nodded, feeling his shoulders relax.
“Okay. Yeah, man.”
That worry intensified briefly in Wreg’s light.
He seemed about to say one thing, then abruptly changed his mind. “So what do we tell the others? Should we wait on that, as well?”
Jon sent him reassurance, opening his light.
“We have to tell them something, Wreg,” he said. “We’ve got to warn them. You get that, right? If you start telling me things about yourself and I can’t handle it, and need to wait on the rest… they’ll understand.”
Sighing again, he shrugged with his hand before adding, “If we don’t tell them, and you tell me things about yourself and it brings us closer… close enough that we start having sex again… as in disappear for weeks, having sex… it’s going to complicate their lives. A lot.”
Wreg nodded. “Fair, yes. You are right.”
Jon extracted himself gently from the seer’s arms.
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