by Rita Hestand
As though she had hit a raw nerve, Hunt flinched visibly and shook his head. “Look, Jodi, don't try to rationalize war. War isn't easy an easy thing to explain, I guess, especially for a woman. How can a woman understand when a man doesn't? Sometimes you do things you don't want to do.” His voice sounded raspy, as though his mind was in another place altogether.
“Why'd you leave it? The war, I mean?” she asked, waiting almost breathlessly for his answer.
“Now you ask that question. You'd already judged me before. Why ask it now? Like I said, sometimes you do things you don't want to do,” he muttered.
“You don't seem like a coward. I mean, you fought Josh till you couldn't stand. You came after me, knowing there would be trouble. It doesn't add up.” She needled him. “I'd like to understand, but it isn't easy when you won't talk about it.”
“I'd rather forget the war, Jodi.”
She nodded. “Okay.”
“Let's ride.” He rode up ahead of her, out of the line of questions.
That evening, as they made camp, she continued to ask questions he didn't want to deal with. She kept on, and finally, he had had enough as he threw down his bedroll.
He stretched it out and flung himself down on it, ignoring her. But she followed, knowing he would insist she sleep beside him. This time, she didn't balk. She beat him to the draw. She crawled in right next to him and turned herself away from him, sliding her back against his.
≈≈≈
He stopped to look at her, really look at her. Without warning, he stretched himself across her, looking into her eyes, and something in his gaze suddenly softened. “I guess there's only one way to shut you up, isn't there?” he grumbled, then leaned the distance to touch his lips to hers.
This kiss was different, Hunt noted momentarily, until he realized she was taken so by surprise that she responded. Her lips felt almost eager against his. He hadn't expected it. Her lips were soft as a baby's bottom and sweet, and he could tell by her breathing that she might be in over her head. The way her breast rose and fell against his chest made him ache for things that couldn't be. He had to be the one to call a halt. Otherwise, he might take what she was offering and not look back. Reluctantly, he pulled away.
Her eyes opened in complete shock, and for a moment, she was speechless. He had to think quickly to dispel any emotional outrage that he was sure she'd be feeling soon. So he rasped in a hoarse voice, “Get some sleep. Morning comes early for us.”
Like a stunned animal, she obeyed, silently, motionless.
Unfortunately, Hunt couldn't close his eyes. He stared down at her for a long while and realized that this woman, no matter how much trouble, had come to mean something to him.
He wondered suddenly about Jodi and what he was doing here with her. The kiss had created questions in his head, questions he shouldn't even be thinking about. Like, what would it be like to have a woman around all the time? Was he falling in love with Jodi?
But those questions lingered in his mind for a long while as they rode hard the next day. They practically stampeded the cows they had with them.
When they finally stopped to eat a bite, Jodi went off by herself. She hadn't said anything. She just disappeared. He figured she could take care of herself as she had gone in the direction of the creek. Maybe she wanted to wash up a bit. He looked around for her, and then he heard a noise. A strange and unfamiliar noise.
It was coming from the creek. He walked toward the noise. He saw Jodi, bent over, sick as a dog. She was crying too. His first reaction was to go and comfort her, but then he considered her for a moment and knew she wouldn’t be appreciating it.
Not wanting to make mention of it, he said nothing when she came back toward the camp, a little white around the mouth and red around the eyes.
“I got jerky, if you want some.” He offered from his saddle bags.
“No…no, I think I'll wait a spell,” she said, not looking directly at him.
He eyed her suspiciously. “You ready to go?”
“Yeah…let's get it done,” she replied, a sudden weariness to her tone.
He nodded and mounted, and then watched her mount slowly. Something was wrong, but he didn't know what. He wished she'd open up to him, but he knew she wouldn't, not yet. She'd begun to question her own opinion of him. He knew that by her questions. But she wasn't ready to trust…yet.
The countryside was changing as they moved north, and so was the temperature. It was chilly after so much rain. The sun only managed a sporadic appearance through the gray sky. There was sparse grass along the prairie and they managed to stay atop that, not wanting to bog their horses down in the mud.
“I was thinking, maybe we could stop off in Fort Worth,” she said after a long while. “I need to pick up a few supplies that we're short on before we go on. Matt doesn't have a slicker, and since he's riding drag off and on, he might need it. The flour, it needs replacing. We've got weevils. I can't make a decent pan of biscuits with what I have.”
He scrutinized her for a long moment. “Supplies, huh? It'll mean we won't catch up for another day.”
“But it would save time later. If I get the supplies,” she added, “I'm getting some Union Suits for the men to wear, in case we have to swim the cattle over on the Red too. From the looks of them, they are worn pretty thin.”
“Now that's a dandy idea.” He smiled. “But don't tell the boys that. I hate to see a man blush.”
She smiled back for the first time and Hunt was taken aback at how beautiful she was when she smiled. He didn't want to think of her as beautiful, or alluring, or feminine in any way. Trouble was, he didn't want to think of her as a woman, if he could help it. He wanted to treat her just like another drover, but it was becoming increasingly impossible to do so.
“All right, we'll stop,” he agreed. “Maybe I can round up a couple more men while we're there.”
“Older men, I hope.”
“Yeah, older men.” He chuckled. “Willy's no kid…”
“No, and it was good thinking putting him on the remuda. But Willy seems like a very sad man, doesn't he? I mean, what was all that talk about hooded men…?”
Hunt grimaced. “I've heard of them. They call themselves knights of some kind. They hate men and women of color. I don't understand their reasoning. A man is a man. When people are going to learn that, I don't know. But they are a very dangerous bunch. I heard tell there are a lot of them in south Texas. I came upon some in Waco. That's why we got out as fast as we could. I don't want to tangle with them. They hate like no other. At least the Indians have a reason not to trust the white man…but them….”
“Why doesn't the law take care of it?” Jodi asked.
“For all I know, they may be the law. I don't know, Jodi. It's not something I want to find out about either.” Hunt sighed. “They killed Willy's wife.”
“Oh my God. Poor Willy.” Jodi hung her head. “Did he tell you this?”
“Yeah, and I promised him it wouldn't happen with us,” he said quietly.
“Good…” She choked on her words. “You know…I don't guess a lot of us understood what we were doing, making slaves out of people, people that did no harm to anyone, and treating them like they weren't people at all. I never had a slave, nor did any of my kin. We didn't cotton to the idea. Rather do our own work. But I knew plenty who had them. Some were very good to theirs. Others…others weren't. But I guess fear kept me from saying things I should have said.”
“Fear?”
“Well, a southerner couldn't tell another southerner not to have slaves; they'd think you were siding with the north. Even if you weren't. So we kept our mouths shut. We were wrong for not saying something, though. Mighty wrong.”
“There was a lot of wrong, Jodi, on both sides. Let's ride.”
“Yeah…let's ride,” she challenged as she put her horse to full gallop and sprinted ahead of him.
The woman could ride like no woman he'd ever seen. But if she got bucked, hit a
prairie dog hole or a rattlesnake, that horse and her would go flying. She just didn't seem to see the dangers like he did.
He couldn't help but admire her for the things she said, for her heart, which at times was as big as Texas itself.
The wind in his face cooled his confusion and he kept up with her, barely. He'd never run into a woman who could best him on a horse before. He laughed. They rode at full gallop for what seemed like hours. They were making good time. Even with the cows. But he couldn't figure out why she was so anxious to stop in Fort Worth. Maybe she had an old friend there she wanted to look up? Maybe she really needed supplies. Or maybe, there was some other reason he didn't know, but he aimed to find out.
≈≈≈
Jodi enjoyed the ride, and she was amazed that Hunt could keep up with her. Not many men could. She could tell by his expression he was surprised at her talents. She also realized that her husband was more of a man than she counted on. The fact that he’d come after her so quickly startled her and made her rethink her opinion of him. He'd hadn't been afraid of those jayhawkers, nor of Josh's challenge. He obviously took responsibility for himself and others, so what had happened to the coward she thought she knew? Could Clem have been right about all the talk in town? Was it possible there was a reason for his desertion in the war? If so, what could it be? And how could she find the answer?
That kiss had thrown her, too. She couldn't stop herself from responding to him. He took her breath away, and startled her; she could do nothing but respond. She'd never reacted that way with any other man. She had let all her defenses down. It scared her witless. She couldn't fall for this man. For any man now.
The sooner she got to Fort Worth, the better. She had to rid herself of her burden. And how was she going to keep it a secret if she didn't? Hunt would know soon. She was sure of that, and then he'd hate her like she had hated him at first.
Dear God, she had hated him, hadn't she? What had changed that?
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
They were only a few miles out of Ft. Worth when Hunt started asking questions. “You ever been to Ft. Worth?”
Jodi considered the question, then shrugged and lifted a brow, “No, been around it a couple of times. Never in it. Why?”
“It's a seedy kind of town. Not much to it yet, especially this side of it. Women there aren't the kind you swap cooking samples from, if you know what I mean.”
“I know what you mean,” she frowned. “My father occasioned the Acre a few times. But I wasn't planning on going to that part of town. I guess I'll have to go through it but, I don't plan on stopping there, do you?” she asked curious as to his answer.
“That's where you'll find most of the cowboys that aren't green about droving. I'll have to stop there to pick up a few.” Troubles and pleasures were plentiful in a place like the Acre. But it wasn't his kind of pleasure, never had been. He didn't care for drinking, and the women there held no interest. Now, looking at Jodi, it gave him strangely another kind of pleasure, one he couldn't measure but was there.
Jodi listened, considering his words and nodded, “Okay, but I'll go on.”
“Yes ma'am, you will. I'll take you into the general store and you can get what needs getting. I just wanted you to know I can't stay with you. And I won't be dragging you through it. We'll meet up on the edge of town, where we go in, in say an hour.” His words were soft, but a definite command.
Jodi wasn't sure an hour would be long enough but she didn't want to have to wait for him either. “Okay, an hour.”
“Good,” he nodded and smiled with a confident air.
“I can count on you not getting drunk, can't I?” she asked as she suddenly found this question important.
He met her accusing eyes without a flinch. “I guess I should at least tell you, Jodi, I’m not a drinking man. I'm a little disappointed that you hadn't figured that much out about me.”
She stared at him a long time. “I wasn't sure; I thought maybe you just weren't drinking around me or something. You are a lot of things I don't know about. Like living in that shed where I found you. I don't understand you, and sometimes…”
“Sometimes what?” He probed.
“Oh…nothing, it'll keep.” She sighed.
“I lived in the shed because I came back a coward from the war Jodi, I couldn't find a job. No one would hire me on. I was branded. I got to where I didn't care anymore. What good did it do? No one would believe the truth anyway. So I lived in the shed because that's all I could afford. I did manage a few odd jobs, enough to keep me eating but that was about all. I'd become so accustomed to living like that, it became a habit. I didn't try to change things, until you walked in that day. And it's funny, because you had the same opinion as everyone else…except you offered me a decent job. Does that answer some of your questions?”
“I-I guess so,” she began but a lot of questions seemed to linger between them.
“Look, relax will you, I don't want no fooling around while Concho and the others are trying to get the herd through. They are going to need us at the Red. I'm not even sure they've crossed the Trinity. We'll probably have to swim the cattle over again, and that's going to take some time and more men. That's my reasoning in stopping at Ft. Worth.” his eyes scanned the horizon. “It's the only reason I'm stopping off at the Acre.”
“Anything you need me to get for the men?” she changed the subject.
“Some hats, get Willy a slicker too. Pick up a couple pair of chaps, we keep on like we are, we'll all be naked. If you haven't got a hand gun, get one, we'll be in Indian Territory. Once we leave Texas, we leave civilization behind. And…I'm a little partial to cornbread, myself.”
Jodi's head jerked up to stare, “Cornbread?”
“Can't you make it?” he asked with a smile.
Jodi shrugged.
“Just get the corn meal, I'll show you how to make it,” he smiled as he studied her.
“I got to get a few medical supplies, too.” She insisted her mind holding on to her secret.
“Expecting trouble?” He asked with a surprise.
“Maybe, with Indians you never know,” she answered, keeping her voice level.
“They aren't as dangerous as you might think. But go ahead, get some supplies, whatever you think you need.” He explained.
“I am not giving my cattle to no Indian,” she insisted.
“When needed, we'll give them a cow or two, to keep them peaceful, better a couple of cows than a whole herd.” He injected.
“Never heard of such, giving in to the Indians without so much as a fight,” she added scornfully. “Maybe you are a coward.”
Suddenly his eyes turned black with fury, his body tensed as if he might actually draw on her, then he relaxed and nodded, “Yeah…maybe I am.”
With that he took off ahead of her and said no more on the trail.
She called to him, but he didn't answer, didn't even act as though he'd heard. He just kept moving in a steady pace. She hated the silence, regretted her words, but she bit her lip till it bled to keep from apologizing.
When they reached the outskirts of Ft. Worth he joined her again. “I'll take you to the general store, and then I'm headed back to find some men. We can't cross the Red without more men, that's a given. As it is, Concho and the rest are probably bone tired, they're going to need relieving.”
“Alright, and we'll meet up in an hour?” she questioned, glad that he was being decent again. The way he was acting, you think she'd hurt him. She only voiced what she'd thought all along of him. Nothing had changed, had it? A deep sensation of guilt hit her. Maybe a few things had, and maybe, that was what was eating her.
As they neared the Acre, Hunt found an old corral near the town's edge that would hold the few cows they had. He secured them and left a note that they belonged to the Johnson herd, and that he'd be back to collect them.
“An hour,” he nodded, his voice held little emotion.
As they approached the Acre, there was all m
anner of violence that Jodi didn't approve of. Men were firing their guns at tin cans in the alleys. A cockfight was going on behind a building, men were betting on the bloody siege. And the dance hall girls didn't confine themselves to inside either. Dressed or undressed, they were all over the drunken cowboys.
Jodi turned her nose to the air and only hoped Hunt would get her out of there quickly.
She felt weary as they finally got to the general store. Her back ached, but the hard ride hadn't affected her in any other way. She almost wished it had, and then perhaps what lay ahead of her would be over sooner.
“Well, here's where I leave you. Be quick, as I will be.” He instructed.
“Okay,” she nodded and went inside, but she watched him leave with regret. She certainly didn't look forward to what she had to do. And, she really hadn't meant to hurt him, hadn't known she was capable of hurting him.
After she ordered all the supplies she inquired of the doctor's office. The merchant pointed down the street and she practically ran to get there.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
She wasn't sure how she was going to approach the doctor. But she knew she had to. She knocked and a man came to the door. He eyed her up and down suspiciously.
“Yes?” he finally asked when she didn't say anything.
“I got business to attend to here,” she said, and pushed her way through the door. She didn't have the time to dally. She had to get this done and get out of here and back in the saddle, and she wasn't a bit sure she could convince this shrewd-eyed doctor of her mission.
Even if she could convince him of her great need, would he help her?
Would she be able to ride if he did? It was just about her last hope. But it all rested on this one man.
“What kind of business. You don't look sick.” He smiled wryly.
“I'm not. I'm with child,” she cried out, then straightened herself and looked the doctor in the eye. “You've got to help me.” Even she recognized the desperation in her own voice.