Beckett offered a slow wink and batted his baby blues at me. “If he gives you any trouble let me know. I’m a great dancer.”
“Yeah, he’s great at dancing away from commitment,” Alex chimed in and brought his beer to his lips.
I laughed and shook my head as Knox pulled me away from them. “Have a nice night, boys.”
We walked a little ways down the road and stopped, leaning against a guardrail and staring out at the ocean, Knox’s solid chest pressed against my back. Our fingers were laced over my stomach and we swayed slightly.
“Did I tell you that you look absolutely beautiful tonight?”
I turned in his arms, resting my hands on his shoulders. “You did, but I love compliments.”
He laughed and cupped my cheek in one hand. “How’d I let you go before, huh?”
I smiled up at him. “We both had some growing to do. But look where we are now,” I responded, repeating the words he’d said to me that night in the sand dune.
“Yeah,” he whispered. “Look where we are now.”
I leaned up to kiss him and he turned his head before looking down both sides of the road. It was nearly eleven and the streets were empty. Backing up, he pulled me into the middle of the road with him. “Dance with me.”
“You hate dancing.”
“But I love you.”
Weak in the knees at his admission I fell against him, placing one hand on his shoulder and tucking my other hand against his. We moved back and forth in the middle of the abandoned street, smiling as he twirled me around, spinning me out before pulling me back against him.
“You got your dancing skills from your mom.”
He laughed and shook his head before dipping me down slowly and pulling me back up, kissing the tip of my nose. “What’s with bringing up my mom during these intimate moments?”
“Because she raised an an incredible son.”
Knox rested his chin on the top of my head as I placed my cheek against his chest. I bit my lip before whispering, “He’d be so proud of you.”
I felt his heart thump against his chest as he drew in a breath. “You think so? He thought I was a fucking idiot for letting you go.”
I smiled and stopped moving, looking up at the man that was raised by two of the most incredible parents I’d ever known. “You were his boy. He’d be proud of you, trust me.”
Emotion shone in his eyes and he cupped my face in his hands. We were standing in the middle of the road while everyone celebrated and partied a few hundred feet away but there was nowhere else I’d rather be. No party, city or job offer could take me away from him.
Neither could any stalker.
Chapter 19
Two days later the bliss of that night had disappeared when I still had no answers. I hadn’t heard from Alex or his friends in the city, Kendrick told me to back off and let him do his job and everyone around me was convinced the stalker was caught.
Everyone except me.
It was the end of July and the heat was excruciating and making tempers flare, including mine and Knox’s.
I was in his kitchen staring out the window when he came into the room and leaned his elbows against the counter, staring at me intently. “Don’t you think maybe it’s your anxiety that’s putting you on edge, Abbs? Caleb doesn’t have a solid alibi for where he was that night. He wasn’t at work, his dad didn’t see him at the bar and his landlord said he wasn’t home. Babe, I know he’s your friend and I can’t even begin to imagine how hard this is for you, but you need to look at the facts.”
Fuck the facts. I knew in my heart that it wasn’t Caleb. He was too good of a person to fall into some obsessive behavior like that of my stalker. He had morals, a career, too much to lose.
“It’s not him,” was all I could say. I turned and looked at Knox, shaking my head helplessly. “I know I sound crazy, Knox. I know. But I just… need you to listen to me. It isn’t Caleb. It just doesn’t feel right.”
His hazel eyes bored into mine and he stayed silent, just watching me. I wasn’t stupid, I knew that I seemed paranoid, crazy even. I knew that we couldn’t just go on a hunch or a feeling but I needed someone to believe me. I needed someone in my corner. My brothers were living it up and celebrating because they felt like all was well and it was just going to take some time for me to find a level of normalcy. My parents looked at the facts and said that there was no way it wasn’t Caleb Bishop. I’d left countless voicemails for his father, who didn’t call me back, and even though I understood why it still hurt. I wanted Mr. Bishop to know that I was fighting like hell to prove that it wasn’t Caleb.
“Abby,” Knox started and scrubbed a hand over his face. His frustration was obvious as he rounded the center island and dipped his head down, meeting my eye. “I’m about to say something and you’re about to get mad at me.”
He said it with such conviction that I was already pissed off. Steeling myself up, I took a deep breath and straightened my shoulders. “What?”
“Did you ever think that maybe you don’t want to get over what happened?”
My eyes narrowed. “Excuse me?”
He shrugged his shoulders and gave me a pleading look. “All of this has played such a major role in your life for so long and you’ve been through so much. Maybe you’re scared to face life without that as your main focus. Maybe you don’t want to focus on how things are changing. Abby, I’m just worried about you and I’m worried this is going to hold you back from being happy.”
I gritted my teeth and pressed myself against the sink so hard my back hurt. “You think I don’t want to be over all of this? You think I don’t want to move on and live like a normal adult? Are you fucking kidding me?”
He threw out his arms and nearly growled in frustration. “I told you you’d get mad. I’m trying to be honest with you and I honestly don’t think you want to get over what happened because you don’t know how to live without that fear anymore. But I want to help you, Abbs. I do. I want to-”
“You want to help me but you’re accusing me of not wanting any of this to be over. Of course I don’t know how to live without this fear anymore, Knox! It’s been fucking instilled in me,” I slammed my hand against my chest. “For the last eight months of my life.”
He rolled his eyes- yeah, rolled them. Like that wouldn’t piss me off further- and shook his head before looking at me again. “I… I’m at a loss. I’m frustrated, too. But I can’t fucking help you if you won’t look at the facts. Caleb-”
“It isn’t Caleb!” I nearly shrieked, my voice cracking.
We stared at each other for a moment, both of us breathing heavily until he finally opened his mouth. “I don’t know what the hell to tell you.”
“How about that you’ll stick by me until we catch the real stalker?”
I found my answer in his ongoing silence.
“Fine,” I said stubbornly and slipped into my flip flops, heading for the door. “If won’t help me then I’ll find someone who will.”
My blood was still boiling thirty minutes later as I turned a corner and stomped down the street that led to Robbie’s. No, I didn’t have proof, but there was something seriously wrong with the possibility of my stalker being Caleb. It wasn’t him, I could feel it. Why didn’t Knox believe me? There was something off about all of it and I needed him to believe me, to trust my own gut instinct.
Did you ever think that maybe you don’t want to get over what happened? His words played back over and over in my head as I marched down the sidewalk.
Didn’t want to get over it? Of course I wanted to get over it! This man had been ruling my life for the better part of a year and all I wanted to do was move past it. I wanted to live my life to the fullest and not be afraid of my own goddamn shadow. I wanted to be over all of it but I couldn’t do that knowing that my stalker, the real stalker, was still on the loose.
I wasn’t mad at Knox for being honest with me. I always prided myself on the fact that we were open and honest abou
t the important things. But to say I didn’t want to get over it really threw me off. He didn’t know what I went through or understand the fear that was permanently instilled me because of what happened. I wasn’t the same person I used to be and I couldn’t just let things roll off my shoulders. He may have found his own inner peace with boxing and running the gym, but until I put that psycho behind bars I couldn’t find mine.
My phone was vibrating in my pocket but I ignored it. The last thing I wanted to do was continue an argument over the phone. No, all I wanted to do was go to my brother’s, have a very large glass of wine and think things through. I’d call him in the morning and we’d hash things out. Because I loved Knox. Truly, head over heels let’s share a welcome mat kind of love. He was my person.
The last few months may have made my anxiety skyrocket, but it really taught me what was important and that was Knox, my family and my friends. I realized now that I couldn’t lose him again. As long as we figured our own problems out we could muddle through the rest of the bullshit together.
But I was still pissed.
I gritted my teeth as I stomped up the sand covered pavement, only taking notice of Dr. Van Sant’s Porsche when I reached the front door. What was he doing here? And on a Sunday, too.
I slowly opened the door and tiptoed inside. It was completely silent and the central air was humming. The dusky, late afternoon sky illuminated the living room and shadows bounced off the floor and walls. It was pretty but in an oddly spooky way.
“Robbie?” I called up the stairs. At the lack of response I made my way around the house, stopping in the kitchen to peer out onto the back deck.
“Dr. Van Sant?” I asked as I opened the squeaky porch door, stepping outside.
Dr. Van Sant was seated in one of the Adirondack chairs watching the sunset. He turned to me and smiled, jerking his chin in my direction. “There you are! Robert went out looking for you a little while ago and asked me to wait here. Your boyfriend called when you didn’t pick up your phone and said he was worried. Something about some sort of fight? And how many times have I told you to call me Henry?” He arched an eyebrow at me.
I felt very uncomfortable with both my brother and shrink knowing I was in a lovers’ spat, and the way Henry was looking at me like I was about to run was very off putting.
“Uh, yeah…” I trailed off as he stood, stretching and crossing his arms over his chest. “It was just an argument. No big deal, I just wanted to come home and cool off.”
His face broke into a huge grin and there was a slight twinkle in his eye. “Taking my advice, Abby?”
I nodded my head.
“Coping skills are very important and I think you see that now,” he said and moved towards me a bit. He was so tall and broad that the way he was moving felt almost predatory. Not in the fun, carefree way that Knox did, grabbing me around the waist and hauling me back to bed. No, he was looking at me like he was… hungry.
It took a moment for my brain to register that I was scared. I was actually scared of my own shrink.
“Just trying to act my age,” I laughed and trailed off when he didn’t even crack a smile.
“Abby…” he started and clasped his hands behind his back. “There’s no doubt in my mind that you act your age. You’re a beautiful, smart, capable young woman. I admire that.” He flashed a quick smile.
“Yeah, so… I’m going to call Robbie and let him know I’m home. I’ll be right back,”
I turned on my heel and walked back inside, moving through the kitchen and taking post by the stairs, looking over my shoulder to see if Henry stayed outside.
He did.
I quickly scrolled through my phone and took note of the multiple missed calls I had from Knox and Robbie, then saw that there was a voicemail from Knox’s friend, Alex. Wishing I hadn't let my curiosity get the best of me, I knew I should immediately call my brother. But I needed to know what was on that voicemail. It could have been about my stalker and any information would be helpful.
I pressed the phone to my ear and chewed my thumbnail, glancing over my shoulder again. I could see Henry pacing back and forth as ran his hands through his hair. Was he acting paranoid or was I just paranoid?
“Abby, it’s Alex. Listen, I tried to call Knox but he didn’t pick up. My friend in the city said something about a guy who came in to order a flower delivery almost every day for close to six months. He was some sketchy guy; well dressed and always looking over his shoulder, his phone was constantly in his hand. My guy really tried but he couldn’t get a name, I’m sorry. All he said was the guy had dark hair and a cleft chin. Well, actually, he called it a butt chin, but that’s not the point. I guess he always paid with cash, never a card. I don’t know if that rings a bell. I’m home all night, so if there’s anything I can do give me a call. Be safe, gorgeous.”
My heart plummeted to my stomach and I gripped the banister for support. No. No. This couldn’t be real. It was some ugly nightmare that I needed to wake up from.
I knew who my stalker was.
Henry Van Sant.
The porch door- who ever thought I’d be thankful for squeaky hinges?- squeaked and I turned around, pulse racing.
There he stood, the man who made my life a living hell for nearly a year. Henry’s hair was a disaster from running his hands through it, the normally slicked back black hair sticking up wildly. His cheeks were red and his eyes… that was something I’d have nightmares about. It was as though there was nothing there. They were just… empty. The normally put together, well dressed doctor looked more like a mad scientist.
“I meant it,” he said now, his fists clenching at his sides. “You’re so beautiful. So smart. In the time I’ve been watching you you’ve completely transcended. You’ve just… come so far. I have to tell you, Abby, I don’t think this Knox person is good for you.”
My breathing was shallow and I was dizzy. How was any of this happening? I wanted to kick my own ass for leaving Knox’s and I wanted to cry. How had I not known that it was my own shrink? Not even my own, the family shrink. Were there signs? Was I so goddamn stupid that I couldn’t have figured this out?
“You…” I trailed off not knowing what to say. I gripped my phone in my hand and took a step back, him taking one step forward.
“I know,” Henry said soothingly. “I know this is a lot to take in and I know I’ve scared you. Just breathe, okay? Just like we practiced. Remember? That night on the deck when you let me teach you how to breathe. You let me rub your back…” A wistful expression crossed his face and I felt bile churn in my gut. “Your hair smelled so nice that night, like roses. I wanted to kiss you and I think you wanted me to kiss you, too.”
I couldn’t hold back the tears that overflowed and cascaded down my cheeks. All I could think about was that it was Henry, someone I trusted. He knew about all the things that made me tick and the fears I had all while being the reason for those fears. It was some sick, cosmic joke.
“Henry,” I said with a shaky breath, hating how small my voice sounded. I angrily wiped away the tears on my cheeks. “I think you should go. I need you to leave right now.”
He laughed what seemed like a genuine belly laugh. It was horrifying. “Abby, honey, we both know I’m not leaving,” his face turned serious. “We need to have a little chat. Okay? Let’s just talk. Let’s talk a little bit about Knox, hm?”
I tried to stay calm, tried to think about all the articles I’d read about handling someone who wasn’t mentally well. I bit my lip against the sob that rose up my throat. “I… I think Knox is good for me, you know? I think he-”
“No!” he shouted, the veins in his neck standing out. “No, Abby. He isn’t. I’ve seen the way he looks at you, the way he… touches you. Like that night in the sand dunes.”
My eyes narrowed and all at once anger trumped fear. Anger at him for taking away my life, my freedom, my piece of mind. That night we made love in the sand dunes he was watching us? Bile rose up my throat and I p
ut a hand over my mouth, shaking my head. I felt so violated and so vulnerable.
“You were watching us?” I finally managed to whisper, the words barely audible.
“I was disgusted. I wanted to kill him. I nearly did after you fell asleep, but then I saw the fight you two had the next day and I knew I was right.”
“Right about what?”
“He’s not good for you, Abbigail. But I am. I’m so good for you. I’ll touch you better than he touches you, I’ll make you moan and-”
“Stop, stop, stop,” I shook my head violently and put my hands over my ears.
“You’re mine… I brought you gifts.”
I brought you gifts. All of a sudden I was back in my apartment and he was throwing me around. He bought me flowers… he brought me gifts...
Chapter 20
I was terrified. There was a chance I’d never make it out of this. I’d never get to see my family again, or tell Knox that I loved him one more time. Goddammit, why did I leave? Why did I spend five years away from home? I hated myself for being for being so stupid. I was going to die in my brother’s living room at the hands of a-
“Fucking psycho,” I spat. My eyes widened as I realized what I said. Stop, don’t do that! The voice in my head was screaming at me to shut my mouth. My fear had transformed into an immense resentment towards the man in front of me, and I couldn't stop. “You’re sick. You put me through this for a year and I trusted you. I opened up to you and… and this whole time you’ve been watching me. Stalking me. You’re a fucking freak.”
“Don’t say that!” his deep voice boomed and I jumped back. “Don’t you say that to me. I love you, Abbigail. I brought you gifts. You’re mine.”
“I will never be yours.”
The atmosphere changed then. Something snapped. I stopped breathing and Henry’s face froze. His eyebrows were furrowed and his jaw was clenched. He looked like a big monster and I wanted to scream at myself for opening my stupid fucking mouth. But if I was going to die tonight, then I was going to say everything I needed to.
Keep Me Safe: A Small Town Suspenseful Love Story (Port James Book 1) Page 14