by Karen Swan
She helped Suzy draw a bath for Velvet in a bathroom so huge the bath sat in the middle of the room with at least seven feet of space around it on all sides, and Suzy didn’t seem to care whether or not the geranium-pink deep-pile carpet got wet.
Archie called up that he was going to bike over to the store in the nearest village, Trebetherick, to buy some chicken and milk – which Suzy had deliberately left off her shopping list in case of traffic and high temperatures – scooting out before Suzy could remind him (as if he needed it) not to move up past third gear or come out of the saddle. ‘Gentle exercise, the doctor said, Arch!’ Suzy barked after him as he shot down the drive like he’d been catapulted.
The girls sat on the terrace, sneakily drinking a glass of rosé before he came back. Suzy was adamant that they should all abstain from drinking in front of him when he wasn’t allowed alcohol, but that wasn’t the same thing as abstaining entirely and Cassie wouldn’t have been remotely surprised if Suzy had drawn up a list of things for Archie to do every evening at seven o’clock.
‘I’d have thought Germ would have raced up the drive to see us the second she heard the car,’ Suzy sniffed, slightly put out.
‘She’s probably at the beach, isn’t she?’
‘I suppose. Saying goodbye to the sun by plaiting her arms and legs.’
Cassie chuckled. ‘You’re just jealous because you have all the suppleness of that telegraph pole.’
‘If only it was the girth,’ Suzy smiled, patting her gently padded hips, which still carried traces of Velvet’s baby weight.
‘There’s nothing wrong with your girth.’
‘Oh no? Listen, if I went and stood next to that cow over there, you can bet your bottom dollar it would suddenly feel like it was having a thin day and want to put on its skinniest jeans.’
Cassie laughed, stretching out on the white plastic sunlounger and determinedly ignoring the slightly musty smell coming from the green striped cushions.
‘So . . .’
Cassie looked over to find Suzy watching her closely. ‘So, what?’
‘You seem brighter today.’
‘I feel great. Who wouldn’t?’ Cassie asked rhetorically, motioning to the setting and deliberately avoiding the subject.
‘Have you heard from him yet?’
Cassie shook her head as she felt the pressure rush to her head again. It was the ‘yet’ that upset her, as though there was anything optional about it. He was out of contact, almost as uncontactable as if he were on the moon, or in Ikea. ‘I told you, he’s got no mobile coverage.’ Her index finger tapped the lounger arm metronomically. ‘All the radar equipment on the boat creates too much electromagnetic interference. If he even wants to listen to his iPod, he’s got to wrap tin foil round the headphones. This is it now till he gets back, or at least till they get to San Francisco, anyway.’
‘Huh. I thought there was that telecommunications company keeping us in contact with them.’
‘There is, in terms of informing us of their geographical positioning and any SOS messages, but they’re hardly there to pass love letters between us.’ Cassie knew she sounded defensive.
‘Oh bummer.’
‘Yeah.’
‘Well, I still can’t believe he went without saying goodbye. I mean, a text wouldn’t have killed him.’
Cassie bit her lip and looked away, focusing on a particularly contented cow, its tail sluicing at flies as it grazed. She didn’t reply, mainly because she couldn’t believe it either.
‘Having said that, I guess you can’t blame him for being hacked off that you’re suddenly having second thoughts about things,’ Suzy carried on. ‘You did pull the rug out from under him.’
Cassie shot her a look, wondering whose side Suzy was supposedly on. ‘Excuse me! It’s because of you that this has happened at all. If you hadn’t got me entangled in your half-arsed schemes with your bloody cousin, everything would be fine.’
‘Ha! Fat lot of good it did me. You’ve messed things up for you and Henry, and I’ve still got to single-handedly sabotage the wedding.’ She frowned. ‘And anyway, how exactly would it be fine? Henry asked you to marry him and you said yes. You’ve been engaged for the past year and a half. How can you come out now saying you don’t believe in marriage? At some point, you were going to have to fess up.’
‘I love him and want to be with him, and when he asked, I thought . . . I just assumed we could take our time with it all. I didn’t count on there being so much pressure to get on with it. It’s the institution I have a problem with, not him. I don’t know why that’s so hard to understand.’
Suzy sighed. ‘Look, I get why you don’t want to rush into marriage again, I do. But you have to bear in mind that he’s never been married. He waited for you all that time, and what’s seemingly dead for you is still alive with possibility for him. Are you really going to ask him to give up on his ideals because yours failed?’
‘I’m not asking him to give up on anything. I want him. I want us to have a family. Plenty of people are happily unmarried.’
‘You mean like Hugh Grant in Four Weddings?’ Suzy asked.
‘Exactly. Or Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell – they’re happily unmarried.’
‘Madonna and her backing dancers,’ Suzy suggested.
Cassie laughed. ‘Richard Curtis and Emma Freud.’
‘Kermit and Miss Piggy.’
Cassie laughed even harder. ‘See? Lots of people have Happy Ever Afters without the ring.’
‘Ha! As if you’re going to give up that ring. Tiffany’s finest! Poor Henry practically mortgaged Mum to buy it.’
‘OK, not without the ring. Her fingers automatically reached for it; it had become something of a soother for her and she would often fiddle with it when she was nervous or upset. ‘But without the “I do”.’
‘You need to talk this through with him properly.’
‘Well, he’s made that a bit bloody hard now that he’s done a disappearing act to the middle of the Pacific Ocean for three months.’
Suzy sighed. ‘I know, but he’s never been level-headed where you’re concerned. I mean, when you married Gil . . . Most blokes would just go on a massive bender. He went to northern Norway and trained as an Arctic survival instructor! In fact, it’s your bloody fault he’s an explorer at all. He had a job all lined up in the City, but seemingly trekking the Arctic and biking across Siberia were the only ways for him to try to get over you.’
Cassie didn’t say anything.
‘He loves you, but he won’t beg, Cass.’ Suzy’s tone had changed, the joking gone. ‘And it would break my heart to see you two split up over a piece of paper.’
‘We are not going to split up!’ Cassie said, aghast. ‘Look, this is all a storm in a teacup. It was bad timing that it came to a head just before he went’ – and when she was excluded from the hospital ward, she didn’t add – ‘but he’ll have forgotten all about it by the time he gets back.’
‘Forgotten he wants to marry you?’ Suzy guffawed, her eyebrows almost shooting to the other side of her head, but Cassie just took another sip of her drink and stared determinedly out to sea.
The front door slammed and they both looked back towards the kitchen, smiling as Archie sauntered through a moment later, two brown paper bags scrunched in his hands and an envelope.
‘Bugger, drink up,’ Suzy whispered, getting up from her lounger. ‘I’ll buy us some time.’
Cassie – who couldn’t bolt a drink to save her life – took rapid sips of her wine as Suzy went into the kitchen to check on Archie’s colour. There was only one sip left when Archie came out, looking very pleased with himself, a minute later.
‘Ooh, what’s that you’ve got there?’ he asked.
‘Huh?’ Cassie asked, wide-eyed, as she hurriedly drained it out of sight before he could ask for some. ‘Oh, you mean this? Ribena.’
‘It didn’t look like Ribena,’ Archie frowned.
‘I prefer it weak.’
&
nbsp; ‘What’s that you’ve got in your hands?’ Suzy asked, quickly following him with a tray of glasses and a jug of sparkling elderflower.
‘It’s for Cassie, actually,’ he replied, holding out the envelope.
‘For me?’ she asked in surprise.
‘Yes,’ he shrugged. ‘It turns out they’ve got Wi-Fi at the cafe at the back of the store—’ This time it was Archie’s turn to look triumphant as Suzy gasped in horror, her great plan foiled. ‘So I checked emails. Personal ones only,’ he added, ever the pacifist. ‘This was waiting for Cass in my inbox, so I printed it out.’
There was only one person who would know to write to her using Archie’s email address. Suzy knew it too. ‘Well, what did he do that for? I told him before we left that we wouldn’t have reliable internet access down here,’ Suzy said huffily.
‘Don’t worry. I’ve replied telling him we’re here now. I’m sure the incessant mailing will stop.’ Archie rolled his eyes as he handed the envelope to Cassie.
She forced herself not to tear it open in a rush, even though the sight of the Inmarsat logo at the top of the email – the expedition’s satellite communications supplier and the crew’s only point of contact with land except for the coastguard – made the words swim before her eyes. He’d written. Even with ten pairs of eyes seeing this highly personal letter between it leaving him and reaching her, he’d written! She was forgiven . . .
But her mouth dropped open as she began to take in what was written in the email. Not an apology, not a reconciliation . . . ‘Oh!’
‘Oh crap, what? What is it?’ Suzy asked, hating being out of the loop even for a moment. ‘What’s he gone and done now?’
‘It’s a list.’
‘Huh?’
Cassie looked up at her. ‘He’s written me a list for down here.’
‘Oh, you’ve got to be joking. Another one?’ Suzy looked at her husband for answers, though the expression on his face told her he had none; he was as oblivious as the rest of them.
Cassie clutched the paper tighter in her hands. It was Henry’s lists for her in Paris, New York and London – devised to get her ‘under the covers’ of each city – that had brought them together in the first place. In spite of her friends’ best efforts to spell out new identities for her, it was Henry’s lists that had been the tools that had really set her on the path to self-awareness after she had lost such confidence in herself following the breakdown of her marriage that she couldn’t put an outfit together, much less a new life. And now there was another list, just as she faced another crisis of confidence.
‘He really can’t help himself, can he? It’s like some sort of compulsion. God forbid Cass should be allowed to just sit on the beach.’ Suzy looked back at her. ‘So what’s he got you doing, then?’
Cassie smoothed a blonde tendril of hair back from her eyes. ‘Well, I’ve got to catch a wave.’ She bit her lip; she could barely balance on a yoga mat, much less a surfboard. ‘Can we cheat and make it a Mexican one?’
‘Actually, I think that’s rather fun,’ Archie said cheerfully, while grimacing at the sugary taste of his drink and staring at it suspiciously. ‘You can’t come down here and not get in the sea. I’ll join you. I’ve always wanted to learn how to surf.’
‘Arch—’ Suzy began.
‘Gentle exercise, the docs said. What could be more gentle than standing on top of a board in the sea, darling?’
Suzy rolled her eyes, biting back the roll call of potential disaster scenarios – being swallowed by a basking shark, going into anaphylactic shock after a jellyfish sting, being carried out on a rip tide . . .
‘What else?’ Archie continued, before his wife could.
‘Oh Lord, he says I’ve got to race a gig.’ She pulled a face. ‘What’s a gig? It sounds like a long-legged bird. If so, I don’t fancy my chances.’
Archie chuckled. ‘It’s a boat. A very big rowing boat. You’d better start eating lots of spinach and grow some muscles.’
‘Ha, ha. And how exactly am I supposed to do this? Where would I even find a gig? Who would I race against?’
‘Oooh, where there’s a will . . .’ Archie winked, looking over at Suzy. ‘Gig racing’s famous down here in the summer. I don’t think it’ll be too much of a problem to get you put in a crew.’
‘“Give a Cornish gift.”’ Cassie looked up blankly. ‘What the devil’s that?’
‘That’s a local saying – it means if you’ve got something you don’t want or need, then give it to someone else,’ Suzy explained.
‘You mean like my present-recycling drawer?’
‘Yeah, sort of.’
‘Were you in on this?’ Cassie asked Suzy, eyes narrowed as she waved the list around. ‘Be honest.’
‘Categorically not. Henry doesn’t tell me anything he doesn’t have to.’
‘Hmmm.’ Cassie went back to reading again. ‘“Eat a pasty on the sand.” Well, now that I can do . . .’ She frowned. ‘It says I’ve got to jump from the bridge into the Hidden Lagoon.’
Suzy’s eyes brightened. ‘Oh my God!’ she gasped. ‘The bridge.’
‘Should I be worried? How big is this bridge? Are we talking suspension?’ Cassie demanded nervously.
‘I’d completely forgotten all about that place.’
‘Where is it?’ Archie asked, a little hurt. ‘We’ve never gone there together. You’ve never even mentioned it.’
‘Because I’d completely forgotten all about it, you daft nana! What did I just say? It’s down on the Lizard, about an hour away. It’s at the far end of a cove where you can only get to the beach at low tide. Bit of a tricky path down to it, as I recall, but so, so worth it. The water is turquoise. You’d never believe it was the Atlantic.’
‘Well, that sounds good too,’ Archie said, mollified, looking back at Cassie. ‘This is a kind list. He’s obviously going soft in his old age – there’s nothing too scary on there at all so far. Is there anything else?’
‘Just one,’ Cassie mumbled.
Suzy’s eyes narrowed as she looked at Cassie’s expression and she stepped round to read over her shoulder.
‘“Choose.”’
He’d left the scariest for last.
Chapter Fourteen
They were all tucking in to muesli the next morning – Archie looking near tears as the bacon sat untouched and forbidden in the fridge – when Gem bounded in, using her own key.
‘Morning!’ she sang, stopping in her tracks at the desolate scene. ‘Oh. Did someone die?’
‘Beginning to wish I had,’ Arch said mournfully, pushing his muesli – which did look like wet cement – around his bowl.
Gem laughed, hoisting herself up onto the island worktop. She was wearing a pair of rainbow-coloured tie-dyed leggings and a fuchsia-pink vest that had been seemingly shredded by something long-clawed, a light sheen of sweat glistening on her skin.
‘You’ve been up for a while, then?’ Suzy asked with a curl of sarcasm.
‘Oh yes. I like to rise with the sun. I’ve already done an hour of yoga on the beach. I just love feeling the sand in my toes and that slight instability – it’s so good for tightening the smaller support muscles and really engaging your core, you know?’
‘Not really,’ Suzy grumbled. ‘The last core I found was in a tub of Ben & Jerry’s ice cream.’
Gem laughed, as though Suzy was joking. ‘How about you? Did you all get a lie-in?’
Arch went to reply, but before he could get a word out, Suzy got in first. ‘No. Velvet had a bad night. We’ve been up for hours too.’
Cassie tried not to choke on her food as she heard the lie tripping so easily from Suzy’s tongue. Suzy’s arm extended across the table towards hers, rubbing it sympathetically. ‘Sorry, Cass. It’s so unfair on you to have to put up with it. We’re used to it, but you must be shattered.’
‘No, no, it’s OK,’ Cassie mumbled, glaring at Suzy for including her in the deception. Again.
‘You do all look
pretty rough,’ Gem said sympathetically.
Now Suzy almost choked on her breakfast.
‘Is everything all OK in Snapdragons?’ Cassie asked brightly.
‘Loving it. It’s so cute. It’s got the same flowery wallpaper I remember from when we were little. Nothing’s changed at all. And I think some of the chutneys and dried herbs are original too,’ she laughed, giving an all-over body shiver.
‘So what are you up to today?’ Cassie asked, wondering if it was bad form to put sugar on the muesli.
Gem shrugged happily. ‘I dunno. We thought we’d see what you guys wanted to do first.’
Suzy’s eyebrow lifted up like it was being pulled on a string. ‘Oh, well, don’t let us hold you back. I bet Laird wants to do loads of sightseeing, and we’re probably going to be really old and boring and just stay here and chill for a bit. Arch needs to convalesce. Velvet needs her naps. You know . . . boring.’
‘Oh.’ Gem’s face fell and it was like the sun going behind a cloud.
There was a small silence and Cassie felt bad at how Suzy kept pushing her cousin away.
Then Archie gave a slight cough. ‘Actually, Cass and I were going to have a surf lesson this morning. Care to join us?’
Cassie looked at him in surprise. ‘Wait, I know the list said to catch a wave, but I don’t think he meant twelve hours later.’
‘No time like the present, though, eh, Cass? If my heart attack taught me anything, it’s that,’ he winked. ‘Carpe diem.’
‘Oh.’ It was hard to argue with someone who now had the benefit of near-death wisdom.
‘But are you up to it, Archie?’ Gem asked, jumping off the island and coming over to the table, concern on her face.
‘The doctors are actively encouraging me to do exercise.’
‘Gentle exercise,’ Suzy said sharply.
‘Exactly,’ Archie beamed, not looking at his wife. ‘Join us.’
‘Join you? I can do one better than that!’ Gem squealed delightedly. ‘Laird can teach you. He’d be totally stoked if you’d let him. He’s just itching for an excuse to spend the day in the water.’