by Leah Leonard
“I don’t believe this,” Stephanie’s mind was swimming from complete overwhelm. “How could this be happening? How come mom and dad never said anything about the farm being at risk?”
“Maybe they had a plan,” Ellen defended them. “Who knows, but they surely didn’t leave any notes or directions as to what that plan might be.”
“And Buck’s parents really want it?”
“Looks like it. Once they bought the farm, assuming you agreed, that would mean they could hire some extra hands around here. I figured I could go ahead and stay on and help if you needed me while all of this was in transition. Once everything’s settled, I’d move on.”
“Where would you go after that? Back home?” Stephanie hated having to address this difficult subject. Ellen had been in limbo since her husband died a year earlier.
“No, I’m renting my old place and I’m finally ready to sell.”
“Wow, that’s a big deal for you, I know.”
“Too many memories,” Ellen said. “Your uncle and I had quite a life together, but he’s gone, and he’s not coming back. I can’t hang on to it forever.”
“You’ll still have the memories though, which is why I really wish you would stay with me, or come with me. I don’t want you to be alone.”
“I appreciate that,” Ellen said. “When I first came here, I thought I’d
stay a few months with your folks, but of course that didn’t work out, and then in the spring, I’d move to Omaha to live with your other aunt. She’s got a two-bedroom condo downtown. It’s not much, but it’s nice. Maybe by then I’d have the house ready to go up on the market. Besides, I couldn’t very well live here with two newlyweds, now could I?””
“Of course you could! You’re family. You’re welcome with me, wherever I go, forever.”
“I’m afraid I’m not as much help around here as I used to be. Buck’s dad has several other farm hands, and he said he’d expand the place with more cattle, a few more crops and better equipment so there’d be plenty to keep you and Buck busy. But me? No. I figured I’d be a third wheel, big time.”
Stephanie tried to digest all of this information. Glancing at the past due bill in her hand made her wish to God her parents were here to tell her what they wanted her to do.
“Sorry to drop all of this on you, girl.” Ellen said.
Stephanie shrugged. “It is what it is. It’s certainly not your fault.”
“I did manage to talk the bank out of moving forward on the foreclosure and eviction until after the New Year, seeing as how your folks just died.”
“Thanks for that, Aunt Ellen. I don’t know what to say.”
“I’m glad to get it off my chest, to be honest.”
“I’ll bet you are.” Stephanie sighed. “What am I going to do? What would you do if you were me?”
“That’s just it, kiddo. You get to decide. Whatever you choose, you need to be happy. If the farm makes you happy, keep it, or sell it to Buck’s family and stay on. If Buck made you happy, fine. If your new fella is your one true love, well… Whatever it looks like, you need to find happiness in this world, however that is for you.”
She’s right, Stephanie thought.
“Everybody wants you to be happy. When you think about it, you’re in a pretty good position right now. You aren’t at all tied to this place, or to me, or even to Buck, unless you want him. You need to take this time, think about what you want, and then move forward. Losing your mom and dad was horrible, but they aren’t coming back, as much as we might want them to. You have to live for yourself now. I’ll stay and help you until it’s all settled, but please do me a favor and don’t factor me into your decision at all. I’m on my way to your aunt’s house from here, but when that is doesn’t really matter much.”
Stephanie’s lip quivered as she looked Ellen in the eye. “So this is it?”
Ellen shrugged. “It’s a lot to chew, but you’re the smartest person I know. You’ll figure it out.”
Stephanie hugged Ellen. “Thanks. Before we can continue this conversation, I have to go see Buck. I promise I’ll think about everything you said and I’ll give you my decision as soon as I can.”
“That’s all I ask,” Ellen said. “Just know I’m rooting for ya.”
***
Stephanie put on her heavy coat and boots and stomped out the front door, through the six inches of new fallen snow to the property next door. She found Buck leaning over a tractor in his barn. He had oil all over his overalls and nearly hit his head on the hood when she called his name. “Buck?”
“What do you want?” He refused to look up.
“I’m sorry about earlier. I came to talk.”
He lifted himself from the engine and turned toward her with deep pain in his eyes.
“I don’t ever want to hurt you.”
“Too late for that, huh?” he frowned.
Yes, it was. She felt horrible about it too. “Do you have a minute?”
Buck wiped his oil stained hands on an old towel and tossed it aside. “Sure. C’mon.”
They walked to the back of the barn and took a seat on a haystack. All the many years they had known each other, this was one place they could go to talk about anything. Nothing was as hard as this talk though, Stephanie thought. “I didn’t realize my friend was coming out here today. I hope you believe me.”
“You do know how to surprise a guy,” he chuckled bitterly.
“I’m sorry,” she instinctively reached out and squeezed his knee.
He jerked away. “Look, I know you didn’t want to marry me. You said you wanted to wait. I never thought you had someone else.”
“I didn’t have anyone else, and I always planned for us to get married.”
“Things change though, huh?”
Stephanie was speechless.
“My folks told me to give you time and not pressure you, and they told me not to say anything to you about it yesterday either, but I did anyhow. If anyone’s to blame, it’s me.”
“You’re not to blame,” Stephanie started tearing up. “I’m the one who started this whole mess.”
“You didn’t start nothin’. You and I should already be married, if we was meant to be. I’m an idiot for not marrying you years ago. Now it looks like I’ve lost you forever. That’s all my fault.” He contemplated that for a moment and asked, “How long have I known you?”
Stephanie shrugged. “Over fifteen years, maybe more.”
Buck sighed. “Then there’s no excuse for me. I had no right to ask you what I asked yesterday after you told me no. I’m sorry.”
“It’s all right,” Stephanie said.
“No it’s not. Your parents just passed. You’ve been out of town.”
“Don’t beat yourself up over it.”
“You didn’t want to say yes, did you?” He stared her straight in the eye.
Stephanie realized she owed him the total truth, no matter how painful. “Well, no, but I suppose I didn’t want to hurt your feelings. My parents loved you, Buck. Ellen loves you…”
“And you don’t,” Buck said somberly. “Not in the way you should.”
This conversation needed to happen, Stephanie realized, even though it was painful. “Like you said, I’ve lost my parents, and I couldn’t bear the thought of losing you too. You’re a big part of my life, and I started to believe, like we all did, that for whatever reason, you and I were stuck together like glue and meant to be. I always thought we’d marry, live on the farm and continue on where my parents left off, but that’s all changed now. I blew it.”
“How did you meet this mystery man?” Buck asked. “I’m not sure I want to know, but I need to know.”
Stephanie explained the strange circumstances, the dance, the walk around the village. “I ran away from him then because I felt like even spending the afternoon with someone else was a betrayal to you.”
“But how did you feel when you were with him? Different than when you’re with me?”
<
br /> She shrugged.
“Tell me the truth.”
She nodded.
“That’s what I thought. I could see it in your eyes when he showed up here. It was like you won the lottery or somethin’. I’ve never seen you look at me like that before.”
Could it be true? Even Buck realized Stephanie loved Uri. “I’m sorry.”
“You can’t help the way you feel, Steph. Nobody can. I loved you since I met you, but I guess in my gut I always knew you didn’t love me back.”
“But I do…”
“Just not like you love him.”
She shrugged. “More like a brother, a best friend, something like that.”
He recoiled and she could see the words stung him, but it was the truth, and that was they both needed at this point. “I understand.”
She reached in her pocket and pulled out the engagement ring. “I need to give this back. I’m sorry. I know this belonged to your grandmother, and it means a lot to you, but I don’t deserve it.”
He accepted the ring easily. “Thanks.”
“Surely there’s somebody out there for you, somebody who deserves you more than I do.” Stephanie thought about it a minute. “Didn’t you like that girl Sarah from church?”
Buck nodded. “She likes me, still, although she knows I’m taken.”
“Not anymore,” Stephanie said.
“I’m not ready for dating anyone else just yet.”
“I know. I’m just sorry, that’s all.” Stephanie needed to bring up the other painful subject she so wanted to avoid. “And about the farm…I understand we’re in deep trouble and your folks want to buy it.”
“Where’d you hear that? Ellen?”
“Yeah, she said you two were trying to spare me until after Christmas.”
He shrugged. “You’ve been through a lot.”
“Thanks for that, but I need to know if you and your folks would still want to buy it without me, or if we’re a package deal.”
“You want to sell?” he asked. “I don’t believe it!”
“What did you think I would do? I can’t very well come up with the money that’s due.”
“I just know you, and if you put your mind to something, you can do anything,” he said. “I was excited about my folks buying it for us, but I told them you would probably say no.”
“Ellen says she wants to go to Omaha. I can’t run this place alone,” she said.
“Nope, you sure can’t, and from the looks of him, your new man couldn’t turn on a tractor if it was the last thing on earth.”
They chuckled.
“So what do you think?” she asked. “It would be hard for me to leave all of this, but I can’t care for it without you.”
“Let me talk to my dad and let you know.” He put the ring in the pocket of his jeans. “But you have to promise me one thing.”
“What?”
“You will take care of yourself, you will not stay with anyone who does not treat you right, and you will be happy. Most of all, I hope we will always be friends, although if I was your man, I wouldn’t want us to be friends anymore. I don’t mean you have to call me or anything like that, but I want us to stay like…brother and sister, or whatever you think we’ve been to each other all these years.”
“That’s easy. I promise,” Stephanie said.
“Then go and be happy,” Buck told her.
“I’ll do my best,” she said.
“So are you going back with him to Turkey then?”
“Yes. For now.”
“Just know that I still love you, Stephanie. Even though we said some things here today, if you go over there and you find out this is not what you want, come home to me.”
“Buck, I—”
He took her hand. “I love you and I want to marry you. Nothing’s changed. I’m not running off with anyone else, and I’ll wait until I know for sure you’re not coming back before I even think about any such thing. Well, the truth is, there’s nobody for me but you. You’ve been the only woman on my mind for my whole life pretty much, but if you really love him, then we can be friends.”
“Okay.” Stephanie wondered how that could ever work, but she realized he had always felt this way. She would need to go to Uri’s home, meet his family, and truly think about whether or not she could find happiness with him. If so, fine, if not, she could always come home. Either way, Buck deserved an answer as soon as possible. So did Uri, for that matter. And Ellen. Everybody needed to get on with their lives in whatever form that was going to take. “For now, I do want to sell the farm, but as far as marrying you, the answer is still no. I will go to Turkey and see for myself if that is the life I want, and more than anything, I don’t want to lead you on.”
“Okay,” Buck pulled the ring from his pocket, “but this is still yours until you say otherwise.”
Stephanie sighed. She wished things could be different in a way, but she couldn’t help her feelings. “You’ll still talk to your folks about buying the farm, right?”
“Yep, I will.”
“Thanks,” she smiled.
“If you and I stay together, I’d hope you and me could run it, but if not…” he shrugged. “I still see myself here forever. I don’t know another place on earth I’d rather be, and I’d like it to be with you.”
“I understand. See what your dad says, let me know, and I’ll give you a report from Turkey as soon as I can.”
“Take care of yourself. You deserve to be happy. I just wish it was with me,” he said.
She hugged Buck’s neck and ran from the barn back to the house, hurried upstairs and picked up her suitcase which she hadn’t even had time to unpack.
Ellen saw her as she was bringing her things downstairs. “So I guess this means you talked to Buck?”
“Yes. I gave him his ring back.”
She nodded. “I think that’s for the best. What did he say?”
“He still wants to marry me if I change my mind, but he also knows…” Stephanie shook her head. “We’re really more like brother and sister.”
“What about the farm?”
“He wants us to own it together, of course, but he says he’s still interested even if I’m not part of the package.”
“You make a cute couple, but I must say I’ve never seen you light up like you did with your other friend. You owe it to everybody to go see whether that’s worthwhile or not.”
“I appreciate your support.”
“We all love you and want what’s best.”
“Speaking of that, Buck says he’s going to talk to his folks about buying the farm, and let them know what’s happening. He’ll let me know soon.”
“Sounds like you’ve been busy.”
“Yes and now I need to leave town for awhile. A week or so. I’ll definitely be home for Christmas.”
“Really? You’re sure about that, huh?” Ellen teased.
“Yes. Then I’ll either pack for good, or stay. Do you think you could watch over things while I’m gone? Just this one more time?”
Ellen gave her a hug. “You go, girl. Be happy and find out if this is what you want. Let me know if anything changes, okay?”
“I will.”
“I love you.”
“Love you too.”
Stephanie pulled out her cell and called the hotel. “Hello? I am looking for a Sheikh Uri, please.”
The desk rang his room and he answered. “Hello?”
“I don’t need to wait, Uri. I’ve taken care of everything and I’m ready to go to Turkey, to meet your family, and to find out once and for all if this relationship is what we both think it is.”
“You have made me a happy man, darling,” Uri purred. “We shall pick you up shortly.”
***
Uri had just settled into the quaint accommodations when Stephanie called him. He had never expected her to make such a swift decision, but he was glad she did. He had planned to woo her over dinner and work out the details of the trip overseas, bu
t instead, he called his driver and within minutes, both of them were packed and headed toward her farm.
The snow had picked up and the sky was dark except for the white flurries blowing horizontally across the wide expansive landscape. Under the fresh snow, the roads were slick with ice and the town car slid toward a ditch.
“I apologize, Your Highness,” his driver said as he adjusted the car and returned safely to the middle of the lane.
“Please just see to it we get there safely. There is no rush now.”
“As you wish, Sheikh,” the driver said.
They exited the highway on the road leading out to the farm. Since they were here this morning, the tracks from their car had totally disappeared in the new snow. The two lane road was slicker than it had been earlier.
When they reached the gate to the Simonton Farm, the weather wasn’t the only thing that had changed. The gate stood wide open and an old truck blocked the gravel drive.
The driver slowly approached and came to a stop.
“What’s the holdup now?” Uri demanded.
“I apologize, Your Highness, however I am not certain.”
At that moment, the enormous mammoth of a man named Buck exited the truck and stood blocking the road, his meaty arms crossed over his barreled chest.
“Does he mean to intimidate me?” Uri rhetorically asked his driver.
“I am unclear of his purpose, Sheikh. Shall I ask what he wants?”
“Absolutely not.” Uri let himself out of the car and trampled across the snowy road in his slacks and dress shoes, his black wool trench coat flapped open in the frigid wind. “What do you want?”
“You know what I want,” Buck said, not budging an inch.
“I shall not be intimidated by the likes of you. Now get in your vehicle, and clear the path so I may approach the house. Miss Stephanie is waiting for me and I do not wish to be a moment later than she expects,” Uri told him.
“Stephanie told me all about your plans,” Buck said with his feet still planted firmly in the center of the road.
“Good. Then go on,” Uri told him. The man was becoming more than a nuisance.
“Yeah, and I just came to warn you.”